But even as that thought floated into his head, another one came on its heels. Ford had come for him. He’d flown from Colorado by himself and braved the city.
He’d come for Sawyer.
9
Ford
Ford ran out of the lobby as if he knew where he was going. Someone bumped into him on the sidewalk, not even bothering to apologize, then another and another. He swiped away the tears falling from his eyes.
How could Sawyer have lied to him this whole time? How was it possible that he had kids and Ford knew nothing about them?
Everything had been a lie.
“Ford.”
Sawyer’s voice had his legs moving forward without thinking. He didn’t want Sawyer to see him like this, and he was in no mood to have any more conversation with him.
Someone grabbed the back of his coat and yanked him into their chest right as a car honked and curses were yelled at him.
“Ford, please listen to me.” Sawyer turned Ford around in his arms and held on, even as Ford struggled to get out of his hold.
“Get your hands off me, you, you, you asshole.” His insides burned. Fuck, he’d never been this angry.
“Please, baby, just give me a chance to explain.”
Ford wanted to scream at him, tell him there was nothing he could say. But the tears blinded him, and his throat was too tight to speak. He hated Sawyer seeing him so weak, but Ford felt like someone had reached into his chest and was cutting his heart out with a dull knife so he could feel the pain as it was ripped from his chest.
“How could you?” he yelled. “You lied to me!” Ford was making a scene, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like anyone in New York City knew who he was. Better here than Amber Falls where news of his gullibility would spread like lice through a fifth-grade class.
As people continued to stream by them, some stared, but he was like toothpaste that was out of the tube, there was no going back. He wiped his eyes angrily, pissed that tears still leaked.
“You lied to me, Sawyer.” His voice broke saying that name. “I trusted you with everything. My heart...” Ford swallowed and swiped at the tears that didn’t seem to get the memo that he was angry.
Sawyer shook his head. “I didn’t, not about them,” he said. “I know how this looks, but I swear… I didn’t lie to you about the kids.”
Ford crossed his arms and glared at him. “You didn’t? Explain to me how that works. You have kids. I didn’t know you had kids. Who’s the father? Or, maybe it’s a woman… So, who's the mother?”
“Listen to me,” he said. “You have to listen to me.” Sawyer wiped his face. “The kids are new in my life. My father died, and he left their guardianship to me. Two weeks ago. I found out two weeks ago. I didn’t lie because I don’t have children with anyone… Okay, maybe I did hide them from you, but it hasn’t been from the very beginning. I know I should have told you, but I was scared.”
“Whoa… what?” Ford’s eyes widened. Okay, that lowered his boiling anger to a momentary simmer. “Your father? The one you never knew?”
Sawyer nodded. “It was a shock to me, too, I swear.”
Sawyer’s dad had left his mom before he was born, and to his knowledge, Sawyer had never met the man.
Ford’s heart rate slowed a little. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He wrapped his arms around himself. “My mind went to the worst place. I thought you’d probably found someone else and you were screwing them or something. It felt like you were trying to ghost me and I wasn’t getting the hint.” He held Sawyer’s gaze. “And why would you be too scared to tell me?”
“Can we maybe not have this conversation on the sidewalk?” Sawyer rubbed the back of his neck. “Please, just give me a chance to explain.”
Ford nodded and followed Sawyer back inside. He did his best not to look at anyone in case they’d witnessed his break down. It would serve him right if someone recorded him and put him on YouTube.
Sawyer led them to a seating area opposite the concierge’s desk. When they were both sitting, Sawyer looked him in the eye.
“This has been a lot to deal with.” Sawyer started, the sentence coming out shaky.
Fuck, Ford had never seen Sawyer so insecure.
“I didn’t want you to leave me.” Sawyer shrugged and looked away. “I was avoiding the inevitable because I was sure that once you found out, you would be gone.”
Ford’s mouth hung open, and he reached out and touched Sawyer’s knee. “Why? Why would you think I would leave?”
Sawyer looked down at where Ford’s hand was, then back at him as he mumbled, “I thought it’d be too much for you.”
Ford moved over to the same sofa that Sawyer was on, and Sawyer scooted up for him. “I would... it wouldn’t have been too much. It would have been a surprise, yes, but we would have figured it out.” Ford knew he wanted to be with Sawyer, and if that meant Sawyer came as a package deal, that was fine with him. “You know I want kids. You should have told me and let me decide… you should have trusted me.” He made sure Sawyer was looking at him. “Us.”
Ford ignored the voice in his head that pointed out that he hadn’t trusted in them.
“This wouldn’t have scared me away.” Ford chuckled since he could now, “Thinking you were sleeping with someone else… that scared me away.”
Sawyer managed a small laugh, all the while shaking his head. “I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. You mean more to me than anyone.” Sobering, he looked into Ford’s eyes as he spoke. “I’m so sorry I didn’t let you know as soon as I found out. For avoiding you. I wasn’t honest,” Sawyer wiped his face with his hand, “I lied to you during the call right after the social worker told me about my siblings, but it made me so sick it was just easier to not answer your calls anymore. I hope you can forgive me for that one day.”
Ford felt a wave of relief wash over him. He leaned in and kissed Sawyer. God, he’d missed him.
Sawyer pulled back, “I’m sorry babe. I’m sorry I lied.”
“We'll be fine, I promise. It’s going to take me a bit to cool down, and I am disappointed that you didn’t have faith in me that I’d stick around, I guess I somewhat understand since your father did the same thing. Besides, maybe my trust was shaky too.” He raised his fingers holding them close together. “Just a little.”
Ford had no plans of running. He was going to find a way to make things work because he loved Sawyer. But he realized that they still needed to work on their communication and trust. Apparently, love didn't make those things automatically appear.
10
Sawyer
Sawyer closed his eyes for a moment. God, it felt like a weight had been lifted.
It was more than a relief that Ford was so understanding about the kids, but Sawyer hated that he’d nearly broken them apart.
He knew that they still needed to have a bigger conversation, but Sawyer swore never to hold back again. He would be forthcoming with Ford in the future no matter what the case was.
He held on to Ford even after they broke their kiss. He wasn’t ready to let go. Sawyer had been so sure that he would lose Ford once he told him, but he didn’t. He should have spoken up a long time ago, but the thought of losing what they had... it was unbearable, so he’d kept his mouth shut. In the long run, that had almost cost him everything anyhow.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” Sawyer held on to Ford tightly.
Ford’s body shook in his arms as he laughed. Sawyer leaned back so he could look him in the eye. “I thought someone was staking a claim on my man.” Ford could joke about it now. “Of course I’m here.
“Never!” He wasn’t interested in anyone else. He brushed a kiss on Ford’s lips. God, he’d missed him. When he finally pulled back, he put his forehead against Ford’s and whispered, “Do you want to meet the kids?”
Ford nibbled on his lips. “Will they like me?”
“Well, Savanna doesn’t like anyone much. I’m hoping that Gavin has his clothes on now. T
hen there’s little Callum… you may have to get used to all your clothes having stains.”
Ford laughed and nodded at Sawyer’s t-shirt. “You mean like that?”
Sawyer laughed and looked down at his shirt. He’d totally forgotten about it. “Yup… exactly like this.” They both got to their feet, and he took Ford’s hand in his. “I’m sure they’ll love you as much as I do, or almost, anyway.”
They walked towards the elevator hand in hand, and Sawyer checked his pockets and realized he didn’t have the key.
Good thing Nate was there. He wasn’t sure Savanna would bother to open the door for him. She’d probably be happy to have him locked out of the apartment.
The ride on the elevator was quiet, and when they stopped outside the apartment, he squeezed Ford’s hand in his. God, he hoped that Ford didn’t bolt because there were days he’d wanted to, but he was all his siblings had. But that didn’t mean Ford had to stay too.
He knocked on the door, and after a minute, Nate opened it. “Forget something?” He looked between them, then down to their joined hands. “Guess my work here is done.”
Sawyer ignored his friend, the smug asshole, and entered the apartment.
“Good to see the two of you worked it out.” Nate looked at Ford. “For the record, I told him to tell you from the start. Figured if you bolted, you didn’t deserve him. Good to see I was wrong… or right.” Nate shrugged, “Whatever, you get what I mean.”
Ford chuckled and shot him a look. “I will not point out that your friend had more faith in me than you did.”
Sawyer groaned. Yeah, he wasn’t off the hook yet.
Nate grinned at Ford. “I think I’ll like you.”
Ford chuckled. “I think I will like you too. Thanks for getting me over here.” They shook hands, then Nate looked at Sawyer. “I’m going to head out and leave you two alone to your madhouse. I cleaned up the baby, Gavin has clothes on for now but not sure how long that will last, and Savanna, well, yeah… I’m not a miracle worker.”
Sawyer chuckled. “Well, that’s more than I managed. Thanks, man.”
Nate nodded, then left the apartment.
When they walked into the living room, Gavin looked up, his eyes immediately going to Ford. “Who are you?”
Ford turned to Sawyer. “May I?”
Sawyer grinned and nodded, squeezing Ford’s hand that he still hadn't let go of.
“I’m Ford. I’m a friend of… ” He hesitated and looked at Sawyer, and in a low voice, he asked. “What do they call you?”
“He’s my friend,” Sawyer finished answering for him. He then laughed. “And I’ll introduce you to these two.” He walked over to the youngest, taking Ford with him, then dropped his hand and lifted his brother. “This little munchkin is Callum. He’s twenty-two-months old and has been known to put anything and everything in his mouth.”
Ford chuckled and waved at Callum.
Gavin came up beside him, and Sawyer placed his free hand on his brother’s shoulder. “This here is Gavin. He’s ten, and he’s my bud. Isn’t that right?”
Gavin nodded. “Yep!”
“Savanna is in her room. I’ll introduce you to her. Hopefully she’ll open the door.” Sawyer turned around and that’s when he saw Savanna at the edge of the room.
Sawyer debated what to do. Did he ignore her and let her come to them, or was that cats?
“Hey.”
“Savie,” Gavin said. “Come meet Sawyer’s friend. His name is Ford, like the car.”
Ford’s eyes danced with amusement. “Yup, like the car.”
Savanna nodded, but didn’t say a word. He thought about telling her to say hi to Ford, but she was out here with them, so it was a start.
“I’m hungry, is there still food?” She looked in the direction of the kitchen, then back at him.
He smiled and nodded. “If you have a seat at the table, I’ll get you a plate.” She shrugged and headed towards the dining area and grabbed a placemat and coaster from the sideboard. When she put it on the hardwood table, she shot him a look that said, ‘Happy?’
When she was finally seated, she looked to Ford, then back at Sawyer, then at Ford again. He watched her closely all the while bargaining with a God he hadn’t prayed to since he was a kid. Sawyer wasn’t sure what Savie would say or how she would react.
Ford walked over to her and held his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you, Savanna. I’m Ford.”
Sawyer moved to intercept them. She was out here with the rest of them, and he hoped it would be their turning point, so he didn’t want Ford to scare her off.
Savanna studied Ford for a moment. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but then she held her hand out. “Savanna.”
Sawyer stayed put, his eyes ping-ponging from one to the other.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Savanna. If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?”
Sawyer watched his sister, waiting for Savanna to tell Ford to mind his business or leave her alone, then run back into her bedroom. He just waited for it. Instead, she responded. “Fifteen, how old are you?”
Ford snorted, “Twenty-three.”
“Okay,” she shrugged and looked down at her phone.
Sawyer stared at Ford. How had he just done that? That was the most civil Savanna had been since the kids moved in.
Ford smiled and shrugged like he could read his mind.
Sawyer shook his head. He should have trusted Ford. The man was special; he’d already known that. It was like that moment when your spotter took the weights off your chest at the gym and you weren’t choking anymore. The fog had now cleared from his vision.
Everything would be okay. Right?
Sawyer had formed something of a ritual when getting the younger kids to bed, and Ford watched him, then jumped in to help without needing to be asked. Sawyer had found the bathroom tidied following Callum’s bath after he’d gotten Cal his sippy cup of milk. He usually took that time to tidy in there since the little guy preferred drinking it on his own.
Even though Sawyer wanted to spend the night just talking to Ford, holding him, and other not-so-PG activities, he couldn’t risk the kids feeling like they were not a priority because Ford had arrived.
Madison had explained to him that the kids losing their dad, and with their mom being who she was, it was something he had to be careful with.
It wasn’t like Sawyer didn’t get feeling abandoned. Even though he lost his mom in college, that anger he felt after losing her, blaming her for leaving him, he remembered it. Not to mention his no-show dad.
That didn’t stop him from worrying Ford would feel that way, like he wasn’t a priority. But to his relief, Ford didn’t seem upset. Sawyer tried apologizing after he’d finally gotten Callum down for the night.
“Don’t worry about me.” Ford placed a hand on Sawyer’s arm and smiled. “I had a lot of fun today. It was different, but interesting.”
Sawyer nodded. “I know it’s a lot to deal with. Hell, I’m still getting used to it.” He picked up a few toys from the floor and dropped them into the basket in his hands. “All the things you need to remember, the stuff no one can teach you no matter how many books you read...” He shook his head. “I’m still convinced I kinda suck at this.”
Ford took the basket from him, set it down, And Sawyer watched as he picked up a few stray clothes from Gavin’s adventures in nudity and placed them on top. “It’s a lot. I can see that first hand. You don’t have to worry about me so much right now. I understand.”
“Good. I just don’t want you to think that I’m going to abandon you again or something now that you’re here,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have done that in the first place.
When Ford came back to him, he ran a hand down his back. “Lucky for you I’m patient and flexible.” Ford went up on the tips of his toes and left a kiss on Sawyer’s cheek. “Besides, we can talk once the kids are asleep. I’ll go and pour us a glass of wine.”
Sawyer didn�
�t understand how the hell he’d gotten so lucky. Ford put up with so much from him, and he was still willing to give more, to be there. He promised himself he would do something special for him. Ford deserved the world for being such a saint.
Gavin fell asleep on the couch after insisting he wasn’t sleepy at all, so Sawyer carried him into the room he shared with his brother. He considered waking Gav up to change into his PJ’s but decided against it, simply taking off his jeans and tucking him in.
When he made sure that Savie was in her room for the night, he finally took a deep breath before walking into his bedroom to meet up with Ford.
Ford had already changed into his pajama pants and was waiting for Sawyer.
“I didn’t see you with a suitcase.”
Ford turned at the sound of his voice, and Sawyer hurried over to Ford and pulled him into his arms. His boyfriend smiled and looked up at him.
“Nate brought it up and left it outside your door,” Ford said.
Sawyer drew in Ford’s scent and just held his boyfriend against his chest. “I swear, sometimes it’s an Olympic sport getting them into bed, but we are done, and I’m all yours.”
Ford pulled back so they were looking at each other. “You never have to apologize for being good to them. It makes me love you more.”
Sawyer pulled Ford back with him till his legs hit the back of the bed, then he lowered himself, but kept Ford standing. Sawyer wrapped his arm around Ford’s stomach and looked up at him. “I’ve missed you.”
Sawyer kissed his way down Ford’s stomach and then traced a finger along that little trail of hair that dipped into Ford’s pants, enjoying the quickening of his boyfriend’s breathing. He stopped short of touching his cock, simply tracing the pattern of it and the insides of Ford’s quivering thighs.
When he looked up, Ford’s eyes had turned dark with arousal.
Ford lowered his head and kissed him. Fuck, he’d wanted to do that all day, but it never seemed to be the right time The softness of it sent relief coursing through Sawyer’s chest. He’d missed just touching Ford. The feathering lightness of his lips made everything okay. Ford’s breath hitched, and his body pressed forward. Sawyer wanted to rip off the pajamas he wore and grace every inch of his skin with those same kisses in return.
Forever With His Boss Page 8
