by Anne Schlea
“I don’t think you really want to know.” He takes a step toward her. She knows instantly it’s a test. He expects her to back away. Will she run?
Instead, Anna reaches down and pulls off her leather gloves. She slides them into her pocket and then brings her hands up to touch his face. Her movements are so slow he can back away or stop her if he wants to, but he doesn’t. His eyes close when her palms contact his skin.
He’s trained to block his emotions and thoughts from her, it’s an exercise they’d perfected as kids. To suddenly make an unintended connection while fighting can be deadly. She knows he can keep her closed out if he wants to.
He lifts any lock he has on his feelings after only a moment, they disappear from one heartbeat to the next. It’s normal to resist another person’s connection to your innermost thoughts and emotions. Riley doesn’t resist at all and that creates the most intense connection Anna ever remembers experiencing with another of her kind.
In her mind’s eye she can see a flickering image of her as a young soldier, flooded with feelings of happiness and comfort. The image fades, overriding her body with waves of despair. Quickly images of Riley’s life after she left filter through her field of vision. An argument with Mia. Anger. A group of demons at a night club. Fury. Another Fallen male warrior. Willingness to die. The pain of Riley’s neck wound. Mia’s face as she turns in her scrolls to pick up a sword. Guilt. Overriding it all, the feeling of anguish that never dissipates.
Fast and faster images fill her vision. There’s so much anger and fury overriding any logic, she finds she can’t follow much of the progression because the anger is too strong. The images start to slow down and the feelings lighten, become more bearable, but are still there.
Then she sees a vision of her with Marissa. They’re walking home from the market. Through Riley’s eyes Anna looks fragile, breakable. She moves slowly, with measured steps and a careful gate. Marissa carries the heavier bags and opens the door to their apartment building. Fear. He thinks Marissa is a neighbor helping Anna with her chores. He barely looks at the teenager, his focus is on Anna alone. Terror of more loss.
After that Riley closes it off. She can have everything except what the Committee put him through. He will carry that burden alone, giving her no more of it than he already has.
Anna opens her eyes and sees Riley looking down at her. She stepped closer to him, away from the tree, while his emotions and memories played through her mind.
“So now you know.” His face lifts in a halfhearted smile, shoulders shifting in a shrug – an attempt to play off the importance of what she’d just witnessed.
His words don’t register in Anna’s mind. She’s overwhelmed by what she’s seen and felt. How can one man still feel so much after so many years? It isn’t unusual for their kind to be tightly bonded to their spouses, but they’ve never been together like a married couple would be.
Is that really true?
Anna looks back in her mind and remembers how close they are, how close they always have been. They share everything. He’s the only person she trusted with herself, her heart, and her soul, until she pulled away after Lily’s death. Their bond isn’t any less real just because they never crossed the line from friend to lover. Maybe there’s more to the emotional and physical connection between spouses than just the physical act. Maybe Anna’s been kidding herself.
Anna slowly pushes up on her toes, her hands still holding Riley’s face, and kisses him. There’s no other response she can give him. Words aren’t enough. She isn’t eloquent enough or honest enough to tell him all the thoughts and feelings going on inside of her. She doesn’t know if she could find the words even if she tried.
Riley’s hands find her waist to pull her closer against him. His heart pounds hard against hers and Anna’s responds. The smell she knows as uniquely Riley envelopes her and overwhelms her senses; his lips are hot. Electricity passes between them until Anna drops her hands to his shoulders and breaks the contact with his face. Somewhere their feelings and emotions meld together until their thoughts and reactions seem to be one.
Riley breaks the kiss first. He rests his forehead against hers, his breath coming in fast gulps. “So now you know.”
“Why didn’t you ever say something?” Her hands run down his chest and stop. He’s strong, a solid mass of muscle from years of training and fighting. She’s seen him without his shirt on before and now she wonders why the thought makes her heart beat faster and her knees weak.
“We were so young.” Riley reaches up to touch her face with his hands. He pulls his glove off to touch her skin to skin. It’s a very intimate thing for a Fallen to do. Their palms are the seat of their gifts. Anna feels her skin warm. He pulls his hands away before he can burn her. “I thought we had all the time in the world. We were barely out of school and training and most of us had just moved into the barracks for the first time. Life seemed so long.”
“Everything changed in one unplanned moment of terror.” Anna knows they should move. They’re standing in the middle of the forest at the edge of a small town out in the open. The three demons they killed might not be the only ones; they need to send back a larger squad. “You never got the opportunity.”
“No.” He leans in and kisses her forehead before he pulls away to look over his shoulder and around the dark forest, his mind also on the demons. “I waited and then you were gone.”
“I didn’t know.” She reaches up to touch his chin again. “You have to believe me, I didn’t know. And yesterday in the training room…I swear I didn’t know.”
“I know.” Riley steps back and waits for Anna to put her gloves back on. “We need to get back to Orasul and we can’t walk through town to get back to the car now that we have blood on us. We should get moving.”
He holds his hand out to her. Anna looks at what he’s offering and realizes this is an all-in or an all-out offer. She can’t go half-way with Riley on this, not with a daughter, a nation, and a war all on the line. Besides that, he deserves everything she has to give.
Anna gingerly puts her hand in Riley’s. He smiles and laces their fingers together.
Chapter Twelve
Anna carefully cleans the katana and tanto dagger. Her arm is throbbing, she knows she needs to let it rest and heal, but it’s important to take care of your weapons. Her arm can wait a few more minutes. When the blades are finally free of demon blood, she places them back in their scabbards and then moves to put them back in the cabinet they came from.
“Keep those two.” Riley’s blade is already cleaned and strapped on his back, he’s leaning against a stainless-steel cabinet watching her. “We’ll need to go down to the armory to have you measured for your own, but you need to use those until your own are done.”
She nods and straps the katana to her back. It feels comfortable there, almost as comfortable as her bow. The tanto dagger goes into her boot and then she stands back up, stretching as she does.
“Your arm has to be hurting by now.” Riley reaches over and turns her body so he can take a better look. The bruise is an ugly dark purple with yellow edges. “It’s bad. Do you need to go to the med wing?”
“No, nothing broken. It’ll heal on its own in a couple of days.” Anna looks up at him. They need to set some boundaries for their relationship and she doesn’t want to wait too long. Marissa needs to be considered and they need to draw some lines for working together, too. “We should talk about what’s happening between us.”
“You’re right.” He leans back against one of the cabinets and crosses his arms. His face becomes an emotionless mask. “Now?”
“Yeah, now.” The clock on the wall shows how late it is. Marissa will be in bed asleep. “Can we go to your place? I don’t want to wake up Marissa.”
“That’s probably a good idea.” He reaches up and wipes his face with his hand. It comes away with a smear of blood, making him grimace. “Can we take ten minutes and clean up first?”
“Please.�
�� Anna feels like she’s been dropped in a mud puddle and rolled around. A quick shower will be good. “Let me take a shower and I’ll be at your place in a few.”
∞∞∞
Anna hesitates outside Riley’s door twenty minutes later. After a mental debate, she knocks gently, the sound echoing through the empty hallway. Her shower took longer than she meant for it to, but she feels a lot better with the dirt and grime washed off and more comfortable in a pair of yoga pants and a soft top. Her borrowed blades now hang on her bedroom wall with her bow and Marissa’s dirk; her dirty clothes are in the basket to be cleaned.
The door opens to reveal Riley, with damp hair and bare feet, dressed exactly like she is. “You could have just come in.”
“Sorry.” Four hours ago it wouldn’t have been at all weird to walk into Riley’s home unannounced, just like it would be completely strange if he started knocking at her door. He has a key to her place and lets himself in all the time. Now it feels awkward and uncomfortable. Anna doesn’t know where the new lines are. “I wasn’t sure.”
Riley steps aside to let Anna pass. As soon as she crosses the threshold she feels even more uncomfortable. She looks down at her extremely relaxed clothing and wonders if she should have put on something more appropriate. But what is appropriate for this conversation? It isn’t like they’re on an actual date.
“Relax.” Riley shuts the door and walks past her into his kitchen. He comes back with a glass of red wine in each hand. One is held out to her. When she looks at the glass like he’s trying to drug her, he rolls his eyes. “I’m not trying to get you drunk to take advantage of you. It’s been a long day. I brought this back with me from the city last week, it’s Chianti.”
Anna realizes she’s being silly. She takes the wine glass from Riley’s hand, careful not to brush against his fingers, and then sits down on the sofa with her legs pulled up under her. He takes his place next to her and turns so they’re facing each other. The tension starts to settle immediately. “We need to set some boundaries.”
“What a romantic way to start this conversation.” He reaches out and touches Anna’s cheek. His fingers are warm. Anna looks over to the kitchen and sees burning candles. Riley must have exercised his gifts when he got home. “Relax. Nothing has to change.”
“Something has already changed.” Anna reaches out to rest one of her hands on Riley’s knee. She knows it will calm him and the connection helps her communicate. “We’re not kids and I have Marissa to think about. She’s had so much change in her life already, I don’t want to freak her out more. Plus, we work together every day. I’ll feel better if we can start out on the same page.”
“Lots of couples fight together. It makes them stronger as a pair. Work is not a problem.” The firmness of Riley’s voice startles Anna. He’s thought this through. “I’ve been around Marissa every day since you got here. I don’t see what she has to do with anything.”
“She’s a teenager and she’s already had her whole life turned upside down.” It takes an effort for Anna to keep her voice level and calm. She has an irrational urge to protect Marissa that goes beyond anything reasonable. “I want to move slowly when she’s around. She’s already figured out there’s more between us than friendship, she told me so. While that’s exciting to a young woman, I don’t want her to have to worry about losing me to you.”
“I think she can see the difference between my relationship with you and hers. She’s a smart girl.” Riley frowns. Anna can see her words running back through his mind. “I’m not sure she knows as much as you think she does. I’ve been very careful in guarding my feelings around you.”
“She’s a teenager. Her exact words were, ‘he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.’” Anna cocks an eyebrow. “A teenager is worse than any breed of demon you’ll ever face. She’s far more observant.”
“Wow.” He takes a sip of wine. “You’re not kidding.”
“Try living with one in your house.” She looks at him and stops. If this relationship takes its natural course, that’s exactly what will happen. She takes a drink from her glass. The wine warms and relaxes her so she takes another. “I want this to work, but it’s going to take time.”
“I know.” Riley reaches over and takes her glass from her hand so that he can put it on the table behind him. Then he captures her face between his hands and leans in to kiss her. He pulls her toward him until she’s pressed up against him. He turns her so her arm will be cradled carefully. “I promise we’ll be professional at work, no one needs to know until you’re ready.”
“That includes training.” Her body relaxes against his and she lets his energy flow into her. “No more close calls like we had in the arena yesterday.”
“Of course.”
Anna can see it’s pointless to continue this conversation when he reaches up to run his hand along the side of her face. She gives in and turns to kiss him. Warmth spreads through her body as she melts even closer to him. Physical closeness is part of life as a Fallen – because they live on shared energy it’s important to be physically close to each other at times. It helps them heal and grow stronger.
Even with all their time together, this kind of heat and energy is new to her.
Anna shifts her weight again to settle herself more comfortably against Riley. He responds and moves with her so that no part of her body is being crushed. This seems comfortable, easy. Normal. “How long can you stay?”
“I’m not sure, what time is it?” She knows she should be exhausted. It’s been a long day and a tough fight. Instead, she’s wide awake.
Riley looks at the clock over the stove in the kitchen. “It’s just about midnight.”
“Not too long.” Anna exhales. “I’m teaching an archery class for Frances tomorrow morning at eleven and I have to prep the range first.”
“The Headmistress has you teaching archery?” He smiles and rests his cheek on top of her head. “How did that happen? I thought Kurt assisted that class.”
“I think Kurt doesn’t have the time and was really happy to give it away to another instructor.” Anna is pleased Frances asked. Her career path at Orasul has always been one as a soldier and that left her little opportunity to pursue other activities. Outside, she had a job at a department store and she spent hours exploring new worlds and ideas through books. It feels good to use her military knowledge and experience to do something new. “I’m excited to teach.”
“I’m glad you have the opportunity.” Riley runs his hand over Anna’s hair. She can feel his heart beating under his skin; it’s a slow, steady rhythm that will lull her to sleep if she isn’t careful. “Is Marissa going to spend the weekend out in the wilderness with the rest of her class?”
Anna takes a deep steadying breath. So much for relaxed and comfortable. “Yes.”
Riley shifts underneath Anna and he tilts her chin up to meet her eyes. “Really?”
“Why are you surprised?” She tucks her head back down and lays her cheek on his chest. They’re almost in the same position they had been when she woke up the first morning in Orasul.
“I figured you’d fight her on it. Maybe forbid it.” His hand comes up to rest on her back. “I thought you were struggling with the idea of Marissa learning how to fight at all.”
“Marissa hates the outdoors.” Anna confides in him. “I’m hoping she hates this weekend and gives up the idea on her own.”
∞∞∞
The line of bows wavers up and down, back and forth. Ten arms, none of which are strong enough to hold the bow at the ready for more than a minute or two, shake from the strain Anna put them through. The hour-long class is almost over, but she isn’t going to give them even a minute of respite. The smallest weakness can be deadly on the field and this class is the first step for anyone with dreams of making the cut to train with the archers in the army.
“Release.” Anna finally allows the class to let their arrows fly. Even after a solid hour of excruciating
arm work, several still hit their target. She takes careful notes on the successful archers on her class roster. “Dismissed. Clean up and get to your next class.”
The students groan in unison and several rotate their arms tenderly as they head into the range to pick up their arrows. All equipment will be returned to the school’s section of the armory. Two of the tallest boys take charge of the large targets and move them back into the storage closet. They’re careful not to mix the school’s equipment in with the army’s supply of weapons and targets. Only the best in this class will have access to that equipment one day in the future.
“Ma’am, I believe the Major General is looking for you.” One of the boys respectfully approaches Anna and motions to the observation deck above.
Anna looks up to see Kurt watching her from the window. He waves her up with a flick of his wrist. “Thank you. Please see to it the rest of the equipment is put away properly.”
∞∞∞
Kurt is waiting for Anna upstairs in the observation platform when she pushes the door open. From this vantage point a person can watch the archery range, the main training room floor, and the largest of the sparring rooms. Anna can see two blades battling it out on the sparring floor below.
“You’re favoring your shoulder. Did you take an injury?” His eyes flicker to Anna’s bruised shoulder.
“I was in the field last night and had a little more trouble than expected.” She stretches her arm behind her back. “I should be fully recovered in a day or so.”
“You’re very good with them.” Kurt smoothly dismisses Anna’s injury and nods to the students still clearing out the range. “Your instincts are good and you have a talent for picking out the best students in the class.”
“How long have you been standing there?” Anna immediately regrets the wording of her question. In any part of this world Kurt outranks her and she isn’t sure where they stand on the social end of their relationship yet. “I’m sorry, that was out of line.”
