“That’s it? I know I’m not able to fight you, Mistress Essryl, but I’d hoped I’d improved more than that,” Anara said, climbing to her feet and working her shoulder with a wince. “Every time we spar, you take me down almost instantly. It’s depressing.”
“I’m assuming you’d be in a dress, which is hardly the best clothing for a fight, with long hair, unarmored, and only have a dagger… and you might be able to defend yourself from a soldier wearing breastplate and mail, with a sword and modest training? I think that’s quite the improvement, Anara,” Essryl replied calmly, tossing the dagger into the air and catching it.
“Wait, you were meaning when they were armored? I thought you were talking a sparring match, where we were both in similar clothing and with similar weapons,” Anara said, looking a little stunned.
“Of course not! Why would I ever make a comparison like that?” Essryl asked, almost scandalized by the thought. “Assuming someone would be meeting you equally? Please, don’t be silly. You should always make estimates like that for when you’re in your usual or worst condition, and your opponent is in their best. You’re almost always in a dress or some other outfit which provides almost no protection. They’re usually armored. It’s common sense to compare you to them in that condition.”
“Oh. Well, that’s true, that if they attack me they might be in armor,” Anara replied, looking somewhat mollified. “Maybe I’ll be able to defend myself better than that, eventually.”
“Hmm… possibly. You’re flexible and fast enough, though you could do with more exercise. Perhaps if you’d been properly trained from an early age you’d be halfway decent…” Essryl mused, considering Anara for a moment, then shrugged. “No matter. You’ll just have to deal with what you have, Anara. Now, you know what your tasks are for the next week or so, yes?”
“Yes, Mistress Essryl,” Anara said, her shoulders slumping slightly as she sighed. “Dagger practice for an hour a day, two hours each of dance and music under the guidance of Leticia, and make certain that all the girls are safe every night, including Lissa. If something goes wrong, break the stick you gave me last night.”
“Good. I will be checking with Leticia on your progress once I return from my trip, so I expect you to do your best,” Essryl said, glancing around the hall before heading over to the rack to set down the practice weapon.
“Are you going to tell me where you’re going? You’ve never been gone for a week before. Most of your trips have been only a couple of days at most,” Anara asked, frowning as she hesitated, then admitted, “We’re worried that Lord Resvarygrath might visit while you’re gone.”
“If he does, and he hurts you all… well, I’m going to be most displeased when I return. In fact, depending on how bad it was, My Lord might have other problems very quickly,” Essryl said, smiling at Anara as she added, “In other words, he wouldn’t dare do so while I’m gone, Anara. If he were to consider anything like that, he’d be certain to kill me first.”
“Umm…” Anara flinched at the suggestion, prompting a laugh from Essryl.
“He won’t, Anara,” Essryl said, opening the door of the training room and gesturing for Anara to go through first, then following her. “As for where I’m going… I suppose I can tell you.”
“Oh?” Anara’s eyes brightened slightly, and she paused to look at Essryl. “Where are you going, then?”
“Tyrness. The day after tomorrow is the start of Ruethwyn’s final test, and I want to observe how well she does. Maybe I’ll add my own test to the mix, just to make things interesting,” Essryl said, smiling widely. “It’s been almost a year, so it’s good to see how she’s progressed.”
“Oh! You’re… oddly interested in her, aren’t you?” Anara asked, her voice growing soft.
“I’m beginning to think she would’ve made a good Illisyr. It’s a shame that she wasn’t… but everyone is able to continue growing. She’s no different,” Essryl said simply, causing Anara’s eyes to go wide.
“Why would you think she’d make a good Illisyr? Everything I’ve heard about your people indicates that you hate other elves,” Anara said, her voice slightly confused, but her shock obvious.
“You seem to be under something of a misconception where the Illisyr are concerned, Anara. Tell me, are all Sylvan the same?” Essryl asked, walking down the hallway at an easy pace, using the young woman’s ancestral clan as an example.
“Well, no, of course not,” Anara said, frowning deeply. “There are some common tendencies, but that’s about it.”
“Precisely. The Illisyr are no different in that manner. There are five major clans and a dozen minor clans that I know of among the Illisyr. The major and minor clans largely didn’t care about other elves, simply considering most of you weak and unworthy of notice at best. Most pertinent of the clans is the one I hail from, clan Shadowfire. It’s a minor clan, mind you, and located in the branch of the Thorned Wood nearest us,” Essryl explained, a smile flickering across her face as she thought of the village nestled among the immense trees of the forest. “We’re an offshoot of clan Demonclaw, which is part of why I’m half-succubus. Clan Demonclaw has extremely poor views of elves, and that formed many of my opinions as well… at least until a hundred and twenty years ago. That’s when everything changed.”
“A hundred and twenty years ago? What happened?” Anara asked curiously, turning the corner and pausing at the sight of the bathhouse doors.
“In the midst of spring, clan Demonclaw saw an elven woman making her way into the Wood. In an act that was unsurprising to the other clans, they attempted to kill her,” Essryl said, and her voice grew almost reverent as she remembered the glimpse of the woman she’d seen only a few months later. Smiling, Essryl continued after a moment. “That was Jacqueline. Commonly known as Jacqueline Heartreaver, as I imagine you were about to ask who it was.”
“H-her?” Anara gasped, flinching visibly as her footsteps faltered. “I’ve… I mean, obviously she survived the attack. She couldn’t have conquered a dozen nations otherwise, but… why did she change the views of your people?”
“Oh, you silly girl… isn’t it obvious? Only one thing could have saved her from clan Demonclaw,” Essryl said, laughing as she opened the door to the baths and stepped into the changing room. “Absolute, overwhelming power. Half the clan had fallen before their matriarch admitted defeat, and when the news spread, it rocked Illisyr society. All of us believed ourselves greater than any mere elf could become, that we’d improved ourselves beyond your reach… but she proved otherwise. Even still, there were some that doubted, but that changed with her next achievement.”
Anara’s face had paled, and there was a look of horrified fascination on her face. It wasn’t surprising, considering that to all Essryl’s knowledge, Jacqueline was considered something of a brutal tyrant by many elves. It took Anara a moment to speak. “She… I can’t imagine that kind of power. Who’s more powerful, you or her?”
“Oh, that’s not even a question up for debate, Anara.” Essryl laughed, starting to undress and put her clothing into one of the baskets. “If I faced her, she would kill me within seconds, unless she was feeling merciful. My Lord and myself… well, we might survive the first two spells. Perhaps.”
“I find that… mind-boggling,” Anara said, seeming to debate what to do.
“It’s true. If you want to continue the conversation, you’re going to have to come into the bath, Anara,” Essryl said firmly, finishing removing everything but her holy symbol. Before the young woman could respond, she went into the main bathing room and slipped into the large pool of warm water. She had to admit that she liked this sort of luxury. Even if it was making her a touch soft.
A minute later, Anara followed her into the pool, the lithe blonde looking a bit uncertain as she slipped into the water and sat on a bench below the surface. For a long minute, they were both silent, and the only sound was the water burbling from the nearby fountain into the pool.
“What w
as her next achievement? Jacqueline’s, I mean,” Anara finally asked, trailing her fingers through the water.
“One of the things which all Illisyr are expected to do is to make the trek to the World Tree at some point in our lives. It’s an extremely dangerous journey, with violent monsters living there, along with strange, deadly plants… and most of all, the dragons that lair around it. I’ve made the journey myself, and a second tradition, one which isn’t expected of us, is to climb the tree as high as we can and cut a twig to take to the weaponsmith who lives among the tree’s roots,” Essryl said, pausing for a long moment, then sighing. “I only reached the lowest branches before being forced to retreat by a swarm of wyverns. We lose many Illisyr in the pilgrimage… but no matter. Jacqueline chose to undergo the journey as well, and she climbed the tree. She cut a newly sprouted twig, the new growth containing magic such as you cannot imagine, and she returned to face the clans fearlessly.”
Essryl paused, remembering the cold look on Jacqueline’s beautiful face, and how the elf’s crimson eyes had glowed with magic. It took her a long moment before she settled back with a sigh, her tail flicking to splash the water as she spoke. “That was when we realized how mistaken we had been, Anara. How foolishly biased we were to ignore other species simply because we survived in the Thorned Wood when no others could withstand it for more than a generation. I was there when she faced the matriarch of clan Illisyr, and the matriarch treated her as an equal. Even now, a handful of Illisyr serve as Jacqueline’s honor guard, for she earned our respect, Anara. I would that I was worthy of such a position… but I am not.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Anara said after a moment, her expression troubled. “That’s… well, I’ve always heard of how dangerous she is, not anything from people who admire her. But what does she have to do with Ruethwyn?”
“Nothing, really. Jacqueline and Ruethwyn may both be elves, but there the similarities between them end,” Essryl said simply, her eyes closed. “Jacqueline has a streak of ruthlessness that puts even those of clan Demonclaw to shame, while Ruethwyn… doesn’t. She showed determination that impressed me, yes, but she’s not another Jacqueline. However, someone doesn’t have to match Jacqueline to be worthy of notice, or worthy of having their strength nurtured. I’m curious to see how Ruethwyn does… but I think she’ll do well.”
“I see,” Anara said, and Essryl opened her eyes to see the elven woman looked slightly unhappy as she began washing herself.
“You seem disappointed, Anara. I thought you’d be happy to hear that Ruethwyn was doing well,” Essryl said, opening her eyes and stretching as she luxuriated in the warm water.
“I am! I just…” Anara’s voice trailed off for a long moment.
“I won’t force you to tell me, you know that,” Essryl replied calmly, though she thought she knew what was going on. Based on what she knew, Ruethwyn hadn’t exactly been highly regarded in Mellesyn, at least by the others in her age group. Anara was likely somewhat jealous.
“Of course you won’t. That’s what frustrates me, sometimes. You’re so distant, you tell us what you expect, then you stand back and watch us decide. You only wait for us to carry things out ourselves… and yet you don’t with Ruethwyn. You seem to be grooming her, and that’s…” Anara paused again, then sighed. “It’s frustrating.”
“Oh, Anara… you have no idea, do you? I haven’t done anything to help Ruethwyn aside from letting her live. You’ve gotten more direction from me than Ruethwyn has,” Essryl replied, laughing softly as she leaned back and smiled at Anara. “I think I know what your problem is, Anara.”
“What’s that?” Anara asked, a flicker of anger flashing in her eyes, though Essryl noticed that she kept it from her voice or face. It was a good sign that she was learning.
“In Mellesyn, you were exceptional. You were… simply the best that the village had, aside from Ruethwyn, but her talents weren’t prized there. True, she was likely going to become a powerful mage, but what did that matter to the residents of your home? You were beautiful, talented in the arts, and the one everyone wanted to be like,” Essryl replied calmly. “Now, though? You’re a prisoner, reduced to waiting on the efforts of others to save you. I don’t prize you like you unconsciously believe that you should be regarded. What you truly want is to be special, Anara… and you don’t feel like you are anymore, which makes you frustrated and worried.”
“I don’t—” Anara began, a hint of outrage playing across the young woman’s face, but Essryl interrupted by splashing water at her, her own voice mild.
“Don’t bother denying it, Anara. I’m not blaming you for it… it’s simply your nature at work. However, have you really thought about what is coming?” Essryl asked, tilting her head curiously.
“What do you mean?” Anara asked, her annoyance seeming to fade into curiosity.
“If Ruethwyn rescues you… what then?” Essryl asked, raising an eyebrow. “If she manages that, she’s going to be famous in Selwyn. You barely knew her, Anara, so even if she still desires you… what relationship might you have? What will you do, Anara?” Essryl asked, raising her eyebrows. “You don’t have to have a relationship with her, but I’ve seen the curiosity in your eyes when I’ve talked about her. Ruethwyn is doing more than anyone else in the world to save you and your friends… and that helps to satisfy your own need to feel special. To feel wanted.”
“You are frightening, Mistress Essryl. How do you even think of things like this?” Anara said, curling her legs up on the bench and holding them tightly, a bit of trepidation on her face. “I mean, you’re right. I haven’t thought about that sort of thing. I’ve just been going along with what you’ve told me to do, aside from asking about dagger training.”
“I’ve been teaching women like you for just over a century. I’ve picked things up,” Essryl replied, pulling out soap to wash properly.
For a long moment, Anara was silent. When she spoke, her question was different enough that it caught Essryl slightly off guard. “Mistress Essryl? What’s the amulet you’re wearing for?”
“Oh, this? I’m surprised you asked,” Essryl replied, glancing down at the holy symbol, a broad circle of gold with four gems set into it. A sapphire was set into the top, a ruby in the bottom, a topaz on the right, and a diamond on the left. Touching it, she explained simply. “This is my holy symbol.”
“Your holy symbol? I didn’t know you followed any particular deity,” Anara murmured, looking surprised, and Essryl snorted.
“Just because I don’t rub your nose into it doesn’t mean I don’t have faith. I’ve noticed that your people focus on sharing a little too much for my taste,” Essryl said, a bit of disapproval in her voice as she reached up to stroke the holy symbol. “This is the symbol of all five goddesses of Nature’s Court, Anara. An old symbol for an old faith. The Princess gives life, the Dowager reaps it. The Guardian preserves order, the Shifter brings needed change. And around all of them is the Queen, she who balances the forces of nature. They are my patrons, and despite what you may think, I try to keep my own actions in balance as well.”
“You’re a very strange person, Mistress Essryl,” Anara said, staring at the dark elf. “I never would have thought that you were a devotee of the court as a whole.”
Essryl didn’t bother responding, as she didn’t really want to get into it. She wasn’t simply a devotee of Nature’s Court but was actually a priestess. But it wasn’t as though Anara needed to know that. She doubted that Resvarygrath knew, either… but the truth was, Essryl only needed the approval of her goddesses, not that of the mortals around her. If she said something more, Anara and the other women from Mellesyn would likely get even more argumentative.
“So… I have a request, Mistress Essryl.” Anara broke the silence a minute later, as she started washing her hair. Her tone was almost formal, and there was a note of trepidation in it as well.
“What might that be?” Essryl asked, curious what Anara was thinking now. Her suspicio
ns were irrelevant since Anara had surprised her before.
“Actually, first… can you tell me what it takes to be special, as you call it?” Anara asked. “Is it just the determination? The fearlessness?”
“Mm… determination to succeed, I think. You don’t have to be fearless, Anara. You can fail… but the ability to recover after failing, to try again, over and over and learning from every failure… that’s what I consider to be the fundamental requirement of becoming powerful,” Essryl replied, her voice musing now as she thought back on Jacqueline and Ruethwyn, and the others in her clan. “Most give up. Most let fear control them, and as soon as you do that, you’ve lost the battle. Leticia, as much as I like her, has been utterly crushed in spirit over the years. If I released her tomorrow… with what I’ve done, she would simply find a new person to serve within days or weeks. She no longer knows what to do with freedom. I think you’re the only one here who truly is continuing to struggle, Anara, so in a way, you’re special because of it.”
“I… I suppose so,” Anara murmured, and hesitated. Essryl waited rather than interrupting, and Anara finally spoke. “Can you help me try to become better? I don’t know what path it would take, or what you can do for me… but you’re right. I’m just sitting here, waiting… and I want to do something.”
“It won’t be easy, Anara,” Essryl replied, smiling slowly as amusement bubbled up inside her. “It’ll also have to wait until after I’m back, of course… but you may regret asking me to help you. Are you certain you want this?”
“Yes,” Anara said, straightening, though she looked a little odd with soap suds in her hair. “I just need to do something.”
“As you wish. We’ll start once I return,” Essryl said, her smile widening. “For now, finish bathing. One more music practice, then it’s time for me to go.”
“Yes, Mistress Essryl,” Anara said quickly, smiling in return, though there was some trepidation on her face.
Queen of Ice (Through the Fire Book 2) Page 11
