by Josh Kilen
Just then the Gnome appeared in the kitchen. Capeless, and missing some fruit, but with all limbs intact.
"Shir!" the Gnome gasped, his mouth agape.
Shir smiled wider, "Yes,” he purred, “you remember me. Good." Looking over at the dogs, he continued, "I must introduce myself, I am Shir of the Land of Lee. I will soon be your master."
Big looked confused. He looked up at the cat, and asked innocently, "So your name is Shirlee?" Little and the Gnome snickered. Shir was enraged.
"Shut up!" he yelled, then pointed at the Gnome, "You're finished and all who stand in my way will suffer your fate! Ninja Crusts, attack!"
Shir disappeared into thin air, replaced by ten Pizza Crusts dressed in Ninja Outfits. They were wielding dangerous Katana swords.
The Crusts attacked.
Episode 4
Ninja Pizza Crusts! With Katana swords? Before our heroes had any time to think about how strange that was, they were being attacked. The lead crust jumped high in the air and came down with its sword slashing at the Gnomes head.
With a quick duck to the left, the Gnome sidestepped the attack. In the same swift motion he pulled his battle ax out of his pocket and unfolded it as he swung it in a high arc through the middle of the crust. The Pizza crust fell apart, its sword clattering to the ground.
The Gnome turned back to face the advancing Ninja crusts with a battle crazed look in his eyes.
Big and Little took their cue from the Gnome and began to attack as well. The crusts were flying everywhere! Bits of pizza sauce littered the kitchen. Dogs biting, crusts swinging, all of them fighting to the death.
It seemed the attack would never stop, but after a short time, all of the crusts but one were defeated. The lone remaining crust tried to limp away but Big bounded over and pinned it to the ground. The crust trembled in fear. It begged, "Please, don't kill me!"
The Dogs and Gnome agreed that it was a very strange thing to hear a pizza crust speak, but they decided to take this opportunity to question the remaining crust. The Gnome picked it up by the front of it's Shinobi Shozoku robe, hoisting it squirming into the air.
"Where is Shirlee going?" demanded the Gnome.
The crust trembled and pleaded, "I don't remember for certain…I, uh, he just said something about a factory and more cheese. I think it's nearby.” He looked pleadingly at Big and Little. “Please let me go, I have a family.”
Slowly the Gnome lowered the crust back to the floor. The Crust begged, “I won't bother you again, I promise." then it waited for a final blow. Little pushed the crust away and told him, “Okay, go on. But we don't want to see you making any more trouble."
The crust thanked them and went on its way. The only thing stranger than hearing a pizza crust talk is seeing a pizza crust run away. They don't have legs, you know.
The Gnome asked Big and Little if they knew anything about a factory. The Dogs looked at each other. If Shirlee was after cheese, there was only one place the crust could mean. And they definitely knew about the cheese factory, they had been trying to penetrate its defenses for years! They left the house and led the Gnome up the street toward the Factory.
As they arrived, they could see that the factory was engulfed in flames and people were running everywhere. Some were carrying buckets of water to throw at the flames, others were just trying to get away.
The Gnome, Big, and Little had a pretty good idea who was behind it all. They ran to the back of the building just in time to see a group of pizza crusts carrying out cheese making equipment. What seemed like hundreds of cheese wheels bobbed up and down as they were carried aloft by crusts.
Shirlee was standing above the crusts on a step, directing their movements. The heroes ran toward the mob of crusts. They must be stopped! Suddenly, everything seemed to disappear. It was like the crusts carrying the equipment and the cheese just vaporized in the same mysterious way that Shirlee had vanished earlier.
The Gnome, Big, and Little ran up to Shirlee. “What are you up to, Shirlee?" The Gnome yelled. He couldn't help but smile as he said it, because he knew that Shir hated that name now.
The Gnome's grin widened as Shirlee screamed, “STOP calling me that."
As he calmed himself, he gathered himself to his full cat height and said, “It doesn't matter, you can't stop me anyway, I have all the equipment I need and now the final preparations can be made. Soon you will all bow to me!" His voice still reverberated in the air as Shirlee disappeared, his image a waving mirage as it faded into nothingness.
The Gnome hung his head, looking defeated. Big and Little didn't know what to say. This day hadn't turned out at all how they thought it would. Ninja pizza crusts? Gnomes, killer guard dogs, cheese stealing orange cats…. What else was in store for them?
The Gnome looked over and said solemnly, “I know that you two have done more here than I could ask, and you have been great friends. I could never thank you enough for all of your help.” He drew a deep breathe and looked at Big and Little before asking, “Would you go with me a little farther?"
Big and Little agreed to go back to the hole with him, but felt that they had to get back to their house because their People were probably worried about them. The Gnome thanked Big and Little for all their help again and they ventured off back to the hole that led to the Gnome's homeland. On the way, he told them stories of battles and other things that made their heads spin. What had they got themselves into?
They headed for the Cheese House, hoping to be done with adventures for the day.
Episode 5
When they arrived at the Cheese House, all seemed quiet. Too quiet. There was no sign of people or the killer guard dogs. Carefully the dogs made their way over to the building across the street and showed the Gnome how to get across the wires onto the roof, and then into the attic.
The upper window was still unlocked, and partially open from the last time they went inside. The Gnome slipped in first, followed by Big, and then Little. The hole in the wall was visible through a narrow row of boxes.
The Gnome looked at Big and Little gratefully. “Thank you once more for your help my friends, you have done more than you know. There is no need to put yourselves in more danger, I can take it from here." he said, and with a touch of sadness he placed his hands on each of their heads in thanks.
As the Gnome made his way across the attic floor, he heard a low growl from behind the boxes. Before anyone had a chance to react the guard dogs jumped out and lunged at the Gnome. Their teeth snapped viciously and slobber flew through the air as they circled the Gnome.
Somehow, the Gnome had just barely dodged the first Guard Dog's attack and yelled to Big and Little, "Get out of here, you can't defeat these two. I’ll hold them off!"
Big and Little knew they had to make a choice as they watched the guard dogs circling the Gnome, hair raised and bodies held low, just waiting to attack. They could run away and save themselves or they could help a friend in need.
Looking at each other, Big and Little knew that they had already chosen to help their friend.
Letting loose a mighty growl that he didn't know he had, Big leaped into the fight and bit down on the biggest guard dog's leg. The dog yelped in pain but shook Big off and sent him flying into a stack of boxes. The guard dog didn't notice that Little had come up behind him and as he turned Little jumped and scratched the guard dog in the eyes. This sent him in a frenzy and he began biting everything he could.
They fought bravely but the guard dogs were much bigger and stronger. Bruised, bitten, cut, and battered, Big, Little, and the Gnome prepared for a final onslaught. The Gnome took the guard dog on the right and Big and Little took the big dog on the left.
The dog on the left was dazed from all the fighting and could only focus on Little. He lunged for her throat, grabbing her with his massive teeth. Big saw an opening and jumped on the other dog's side, clamping down on his neck and cutting off his windpipe. The guard dog gasped for air! His eyes rolled back as
fell, releasing Little. Within seconds the guard dog passed out, asleep, and was no longer a threat. Big and Little looked over at the Gnome and they cried out in unison.
The Gnome and the other guard dog had nearly finished each other off. The killer dog had the Gnome crushed in his jaws while the Gnome was hacking away at the dog with his ax. After the fourth blow to his neck, the guard dog could hold on no more and fell, limp, to the floor. The Gnome rolled from the dog's mouth and lay still.
Big and Little ran over to him, and began licking his wounds. "You'll be OK," they told him, "We'll make you better."
The Gnome looked at them with glassy eyes, but he seemed happy despite his obvious pain. "You two are more than I expected. You didn't have to come back, but you did. Thank you. You are true friends." The Gnome coughed and the Dogs could tell he wasn't going to make it. Little began to cry.
"Please, don't cry. I lived a long, good life… and I will receive my reward soon," the Gnome said. "I ask only one thing of you… return my body to my home…” the Gnome's breathing was becoming more erratic and let my uncle know… what… Shir is doing…"
"Of course we will," said Little through her sobs. Big nodded his agreement, looking like his tears were not far behind.
The Gnome smiled weakly, "Good… You two have… a destiny… something much… greater…than you… could ever imagine… Thank you… for…being… my… Friends…" and the Gnome breathed his last.
Big and Little lay beside the Gnome and cried. They realized that they did not even know his name. Carefully they wrapped his body in a sheet and pulled it slowly toward the entrance of the hole. With sad hearts and a deep breath, they took the Gnome back home for the last time.
Episode 6
Deeply saddened by their friend's passing, Big and Little fell down the tube into the strange land. As before, they plopped out onto the soft, springy grass. The seven moons and the light pink sky were above them, but instead of being greeted by an army of Pizza Crusts intent on killing them, standing before their paws was a wizened, old gnome.
His clothing was similar to that of their old friend, but instead of red and blue he wore green and yellow. He had deep blue eyes and they looked as if they had seen many years.
The older gnome looked at Big and Little with questioning eyes, and then his gaze fell on the sheet.
“Is that my nephew?" He asked the dogs. They could only nod, they were still so upset. Once more, Little's eyes filled with tears.
The older gnome gently cried, tears falling down his wrinkled face. “Did he die a good death at least? Was it in battle?" he asked.
Again, neither Big nor Little could speak, they simply nodded.
The old gnome placed his hand on the sheet and smiled sadly. "At least he died honorably, I presume he was saving you two?"
Big spoke up, "Yes, we were ambushed. He told us to leave, but we couldn't let him fight the guard dogs alone. I'm sorry we couldn't save him."
The old gnome looked up from the sheet, “You fought for HIM then, now that is interesting. I'm glad he was with friends at the end." He took a deep breath and turned his attention back to the dogs.
“He will be buried with honors on his family's estate. My name is Tiberius, and I am this gnome's uncle and the leader of the local Resistance against Shir. Now, tell me, this is very important, did he find what he was looking for?"
Big nodded and Little told Tiberius the whole story about the Guard Dogs, the Cheese, the burning factory, and especially about Shirlee and the Pizza Crusts.
Tiberius listened intently, and when Little was done, he nodded his head as if he understood even more than she had said. He laughed at the mention of "Shirlee". "Yes, that is also a girl's name in this land.” With a smirk he continued, “We will have to let everyone know of this. It will be his name from now on.”
“We have been aware of Shirlee's plans to take over for some time now. He has taken this land and many others. If he can travel to your world he must be very powerful indeed. I'm afraid that means he is planning to conquer your world as well as ours. I am truly sorry, but we will do everything we can…" Tiberius suddenly stopped talking.
Big and Little glanced at each other in confusion as Tiberius stared at a strange mark on Big's back leg. “Where did you get that?” he asked. Big didn't know what to say, he had never noticed the mark before. “He’s always had it,” said Little, “for as long as I can remember.”
A smile formed on Tiberius' face, "I wonder…” he said as his voice trailed off. He looked as though he were were trying to remember something very old.
“Many, many years ago, a prophecy was revealed that a great evil would come against our land, bringing danger and ultimate destruction.” He paused and looked at Big and Little with an appraising eye. “But the prophecy also said that two would come, great and small in stature, who would deliver us and bring light to our land once more. The Large One would have our symbol to prove he is chosen…" Tiberius pointed to the crescent shaped mark on Big's leg, "That is our symbol."
Big's eyes widened in shock and Little stared at the old Gnome in disbelief. Neither of them knew what to say! Tiberius went on, "I leave the choice to you, will you help us to defeat Shirlee, or will you go home and wait for the destruction he is sure to bring?"
Episode 7
"I leave the choice to you, will you help us to defeat Shirlee, or will you go home and wait for the destruction he is sure to bring?"
Tiberius waited for their answer.
Little looked at Big as he tried to form the words to respond. He stuttered through different vowel sounds while he tried to make sense of everything the old Gnome had told them.
Before Big had a chance to answer, out of nowhere, a mad cow with raging red eyes charged the group. Big and Little tumbled out of the way while the old gnome sidestepped the attack calmly.
The enraged cow skidded to a stop, turned around, and stamped her feet, readying herself for another pass. As she charged once more, strait at Tiberius, the Dogs tried to push him out of the way, put he would not be moved.
Instead, he raised his hand and tilted it from side to side in a soothing manner, while making a sound not unlike a helicopter engine. The cow stopped in her tracks, uttering one last "Moooo", as she fell over.
Big and Little stared at Tiberious in shock.
“That trick doesn't work so well with the crusts," he said with a smile.
Big and Little laughed for joy, “That was amazing!" they said.
But Tiberius became very serious, “This is just a sample of what is happening. Our world and yours are colliding and turning into the worst versions of themselves. Will you help us?" He looked at the dogs intently.
Taking deep breaths, Big and Little looked at each other for a long time. They knew that this was a huge decision, but they remembered what the Gnome had said to them about having a real destiny. They didn't want to let the Gnome or anyone else down. Little nodded her head at Big, he looked at Tiberius and said, "We'll do it."
"Excellent” Tiberius said with pleasure. “And so the adventure begins." With that, he set out over the hill, moving much faster than you would expect, given the shortness of his legs. The dogs ran to keep up with him.
The new world was wonderful. Aside from the seven moons and light pink sky, the trees looked like they were drawn from a cartoon and the far off mountains looked taller than any the dogs had ever seen. The land seemed full of mysteries just waiting to be discovered.
"Where exactly are we going?" asked Little as they made their way down the hill.
"To the underground city to meet with The Elders," said Tiberius. Little asked many times what that was and who they were, but Tiberius would only respond, "All in good time."
They passed several villages as they walked, but everywhere they went, doors were shut tight and windows were shuttered. No one walked or played in the streets and it was eerily quiet. The villagers seemed afraid. Not afraid of Big or Little, but of a dark terror aw
aiting them. As Tiberius walked by, several peeked out of doorways and nodded solemnly in respect, but quickly retreated back into the safety of their homes.
After hours of walking, they came to an abandoned windmill with a boarded up door. Tiberius went around to the back and touched a single stone, which began to sink into the windmill itself. A hidden door opened and the heroes followed the old gnome through it.
The door opened to a set of stairs that seemed to go down forever. Tiberius descended, and while the dogs didn't question what was going on, they were very curious.
A light began to grow at the bottom of the stairs until it shown as a bright dull red. Finally at the bottom of the stairs, sprawling before Big and Little, was the biggest city they had ever seen.
The Underground City was huge and bustling with life. Animals, gnomes, and other small creatures were going this way and that, on what seemingly important errands. Big and Little stared in wonder.
Tiberius looked pleased with their reaction. "This is the great underground city," he told them, "It is our safe haven from Shirlee and his minions."
The old gnome walked toward a great draw bridge which spanned a deep, dark chasm. This must be for defense thought Little. Crossing over the bridge, they travelled through the city. Big and Little were encouraged to see so many were willing to fight against Shirlee.
The group came to a large building in the middle of the city, it had a great door and spires that seemed to touch the top of the cave. As they proceeded through the doors, they entered a grand hall with many pillars and lit torches on each pillar. At the end of the hall was a raised diaz with seven seats, and in those seats sat the Elders.
The Elders smiled widely as the Dogs approached and beckoned them to come closer. They seemed kind, but tired, as if they had lived many lives in their time. The Elder in the center seemed to be in charge, and he motioned for the dogs to stand in front of him.
“Let me see the mark," the Chief Elder said.
Big turned his leg toward the elders. Gasps emerged from the crowd and the Chief Elder's smile grew even wider.
