by Emily Rose
“I wouldn’t wait on her to explain,” I answered truthfully.
Ray searched my gaze, like she was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth or not, but she didn’t have to look very hard.
I was.
“I love him,” she said.
And I knew she wasn’t lying either.
“And I love her,” I said.
She was about to say something else, but she was cut off by the sound of Danny’s voice as she came up beside her, smiling and placing her arm around Ray’s shoulder.
Danny leaned her head in, “What are you two talking about?”
I looked at Ray and I felt the need to take the lead here. “Nothing, we were just talking,” I said and saw the relief in Ray’s eyes as she smiled weakly.
“Ooh, well I’m stealing my best friend now,” Danny said and then leaned up to place a kiss on my cheek before she started dragging Ray with her.
I remained against the wall and watched them. It wasn’t until they were almost back into the crowd that Ray looked over her shoulder and met my gaze.
I held hers steadily.
I wasn’t an idiot. I knew that if Miles had been here and he had saw the look she was giving me right now; some major shit would go down.
I knew I was losing it completely, because there was only one response I had.
There was only one thought.
I’d like to see him try.
Chapter Nine
Ray
The music had a toxic beat as I sat next to Danny in one of the booths. Jaxson’s eyes had held an understanding, one that scared me, because it wasn’t just an understanding. It was a bond that we knew shouldn’t have happened.
“Do you think there’s something off with Jaxson?” Danny asked.
I stopped twirling my straw in my drink and looked up. “Huh?”
She sighed. “Jaxson. Do you think there’s something off about him?”
I turned my head to follow the direction of her gaze and saw Jaxson once more. He stood in the corner of the room, his hair hung over his forehead, giving his eyes that hooded look as they scanned the crowd in front of him. Even from this distance, he still looked pale. I wasn’t sure what it was that he was on, but I had seen that look before.
I had seen it after my father passed away and my mother thought pills were her only escape from the pain. Jaxson had taken something and while I didn’t think Danny had picked up on it, I wasn’t sure I could tell her.
“Yeah…I don’t know. He could just be tired,” I said, and it scared me at how easy it was to lie to my best friend about her boyfriend.
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe,” she said.
I looked away from him. “You should talk to him.”
It was the only thing I could think to say, because while I didn’t want to be the one to tell Danny that her boyfriend, the man she loves, was taking pills, I didn’t want it to continue. And I knew that telling someone was better than telling no one, even if I wasn’t exactly telling her.
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just been, I don’t know….”
“Different?” I asked.
She paused and then nodded, “Yeah, it’s been different.”
Before I could respond, my phone started vibrating on the table where I had sat it earlier.
The screen lit up and I saw Miles’ face appear. I sat frozen as my phone moved toward the edge of the table with each vibration.
“Are you going to answer that?” Danny asked.
I didn’t look away from my phone, “I don’t know. Should I?”
She sighed. “Ray, he’s your husband. You’re going to have to talk to him sooner or later. It’s not like you guys are just dating and you can avoid him forever if you want to.”
I reached up a second before my phone fell off the edge of the table and held it steady as it continued to vibrate. “Yeah, I know. And I will, just…not right now,” I said as I clicked the side button and rejected the call.
I heard Danny’s harsh exhale beside me, and I knew she was disappointed in me. I was disappointed in myself, for not having the lady balls to answer his phone call.
“Don’t you think it’s been long enough?” she asked.
He had left Friday. Today was Monday. Maybe that was long enough for some people, but it wasn’t long enough for me.
My phone vibrated and lit up once more, only this time it was with a text message. I lifted my hand and read the message without unlocking my phone.
Miles-I love you. Please talk to me.
My heart cried for him. It wanted to pick up the phone, call him back, and tell him how sorry I was that I have been ignoring him. It wanted things to go back to normal.
But my gut, it told me to leave it alone. Let him suffer.
I was angry, but I also missed him. I hated him for leaving me, but I also loved him. I couldn’t trust him, but I also trusted him with my life.
My feelings toward Miles were so damn confusing now that I couldn’t even begin to figure them out. It hadn’t even been this confusing back when I first met him and all the shit we’d gone through with Owen. Yeah, that had been messed up, but not so much that I couldn’t see what I felt for Miles. Now, all of it just blurred together and I hated it.
“No, I don’t think it’s been long enough,” I finally answered Danny’s question.
“Okay. It’s your marriage. I’m just trying to help. That man loves you, even if he left without explaining shit or lied to you about the situation with Mia. He still loves you and I get that you’re having a hard time with it all, but I don’t think Miles would do anything to lose you. I really don’t,” she said.
I didn’t respond, because I wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe she was right, and I was just being stubborn and petty.
My phone started vibrating again and I almost groaned, thinking it was Miles again, but as I looked at the screen once more, I saw my mother’s face.
Great. Leave it to my mother to call me after midnight to I’m sure talk about her wedding, which she had yet to give me a date for yet. She had just left me with the fact that she was getting married and that I had at least two weeks to find a dress.
A dress she wasn’t even paying for.
I sighed and grabbed my phone off the table as I stood up. “I’ll be right back,” I told Danny on my way through the crowd and toward the front entrance.
I stepped out into the humid air and saw Kevin leaning against the wall, playing on his phone. He looked up when I came out.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I responded and then answered my mom’s phone call, “Hey Mom.”
“Finally,” she groaned.
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me as I stepped away from Kevin and started kicking at the loose rocks on the pavement with my heels. “What do you need?” I asked.
“Have you found a dress yet?” she asked.
I heard a group of rowdy people pass by me, heading toward their cars. “No. I’m still looking.”
Mom sighed in disappointment. “Ok, we can get back to that. Is Danny and her boyfriend, um, what’s his name?”
“Jaxson,” I said with another roll of my eyes.
“Yes, him. Are they going to be able to come?” she asked.
“Uh, Mom, you never said anything about both of them coming,” I pointed out. This was going to be an interesting turn of events if that was the case.
“Well, duh, they both have to come. You and Miles are coming,” she said.
Could this get any worse? I hadn’t told my mother about Miles leaving, but she knew we had got married, so it didn’t surprise me that she assumed he would be there to walk me down.
“Mom, uh, I don’t think Miles will be able to come. I mean I guess it depends on when you’re having it, but I’m not real sure,” I said.
“What? Damnit! Ok, forget Miles. I have decided to do it this weekend, so if he can’t be here to share this experience with your family by then, he can just sit home a
lone,” she said.
“This weekend? That’s in like, a few days!” I was so screwed.
“Yes, dear, this weekend. I will count on you being here. Anyway, I have to go to bed. I have tons of shopping to do tomorrow,” she said and then hung up without another word.
“Fuck!” I said and dropped my hand to my side.
“Damn, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you say the big F word,” I heard Kevin say behind me.
I looked over my shoulder at him. He still leaned against the wall, playing on his phone as if nothing in his life was wrong right now.
“My mother is getting married this weekend,” I said flatly.
Maybe it was the fact that it was just me and Kevin out here, or it was the fact that Kevin had always just been the jokester out of everyone, which made him easy to vent to, but either way, I found myself exhaling a heavy breath and letting it loose as he stood there patiently listening.
“My mom called me to tell me she had met someone, and they were getting married. She didn’t tell me when until just now. She literally gave me a few days to find my fucking dress and get my ass to Florida, which means begging my boss for this weekend off and probably missing some of my classes in the first week of school. Not to mention, she’s expecting not only Danny and Jaxson there, but Miles too. Miles isn’t even fucking here, and I don’t know when he will be back, so I don’t know what the fuck to do about that and Jax doesn’t even know my mother, so I don’t know how he will take it when I ask him about coming with,” I said all in one breath and then sucked in another as I finished.
I stared at Kevin, who had put his phone down at some point while I had ranting and was staring at me now with an expression that was unreadable.
“Holy shit,” he said finally, and then pushed off the wall to walk toward me, “Let it out girl. I’m all for being the shoulder you cry on.”
When Kevin got within a foot of me and I realized he wasn’t going to stop, I held my hand up and it hit his chest, causing him to stop. “Easy there, big guy. I’m not about to cry on your shoulder or anyone else’s. I was just ranting,” I said with a smile.
He grinned wickedly. “Right….”
I laughed and dropped my hand from his chest. “Shut up and go back to your post.”
Kevin held his hand to his chest in fake pain, “Ouch, that hurts.”
“I guess I just love hurting mindless bouncers,” I teased and then laughed at the look on his face at the word “mindless.”
“Gosh, such a bitch,” Kevin said, but his grin remained as he walked back over to his spot near the door.
I smiled and then headed back inside. I could hear the bass while I’d been outside, but it wasn’t until I came inside that I could make out the song.
“Unstable” by Krizz Kaliko vibrated my bones as I made my way through the crowd and back to our booth. The lights dimmed and flickered to the beat, giving the place a whole new vibe. I scanned the dance floor as people moved, grinding against their other half.
When I reached our booth, I didn’t see Danny there. I took a seat anyway and looked around to see if I could spot her in the mix.
It took me a minute, but I finally found her. She stood near the center of the dance floor, moving along with the beat, her arms wrapped around someone. From this angle, I couldn’t see the other person, but I only assumed it was Jaxson.
But then she shifted, and I realized I was so very wrong.
It was not Jaxson at all, but it was someone I knew.
Chase had his arms around Danny’s waist. His head was down, close to her neck, but not so out of sight that I couldn’t tell that it was him.
My anger flared almost instantly. Partly at Danny and the other part at Chase.
Before I could stop myself, my feet were moving. I had no idea what I was going to do, but at this very moment, I didn’t care. I had warned him, and I knew Danny had been drinking tonight. She wasn’t drunk, but she wasn’t exactly sober either, which made everything worse in my eyes.
I shoved people out of my way as I walked toward them. It wasn’t until I got right up on them that I made my move and shoved Chase hard enough to make him stumble back a bit. People seemed to notice the situation, because some stopped to look, while others moved out of the way.
“Ray….” Danny said, but I ignored her and glared up at Chase, who didn’t look all that happy either.
“I told you to stay away from her,” I said angrily.
Chase grinned, “Are you her mother?”
“No, she’s not,” Danny answered, and I could hear the frustration in her voice.
I looked at her, but she simply stared at the ground as if she wanted it to collapse from under her feet and swallow her whole. I turned my gaze back on Chase.
“I don’t care. She is my best friend, my drunk best friend might I add, and you are going to stay the hell away from her,” I said firmly.
Chase’s gaze turned deadly, but he remained rooted to the spot. “Or what?”
Before I could respond, I heard his voice and while I knew there was no keeping this from him, I would have much rather Danny tell him herself.
“What the hell is going on?” Jaxson asked and came up beside me.
I didn’t look at him, but I could see Danny lift her gaze. I felt like I had to pick sides here. Between best friend and loyal friend. Chase seemed to catch on quick too, because he glanced between Jaxson and Danny as if he were connecting the dots.
I made a choice. One that I would probably come to regret later.
“Nothing, everything is fine,” I said as I stared into Chase’s eyes, almost daring him to say something different and grabbed Danny’s arm. I started pulling her back toward the booth, but then I heard Chase.
“Stupid bitc- “
He didn’t get to finish, because Jaxson’s fist connected with his jaw. I heard Danny gasp as Chase hit the ground and blood started dripping from his mouth. People moved back as I stood there in stunned silence, my heart pounding in my ears.
Jaxson stood over Chase, glaring down at him with so much rage it almost worried me. I had never seen Jax so out of control, so enraged.
“Don’t ever think you can get away with calling any part of my family a bitch or anything else in front of me, because I will end you before you even get the chance to. I don’t give a fuck who you are,” Jax said so calmly that it sent chills down my spine.
He wasn’t lying.
“Excuse me, move!” I heard Rachel’s voice as she pushed her way through the crowd that had settled around us. She looked at me and Danny, then at Chase on the ground, and then over at Jaxson. “What the hell is going on here?” she asked.
“Nothing. We’re done here,” Jaxson said and then turned his back on Chase. I followed him as he made his way back into the crowd, vanishing from sight.
When he was gone, I looked at Chase who had finally stood back up. He wiped the blood from his lip and stared me down.
“Can someone please explain what the fuck is going on?” Rachel asked.
To my surprise, it was Chase who answered.
“Nothing, like he said, we’re done here,” he said and then started off in the opposite direction Jaxson went, wiping his mouth as blood continued to drip.
Rachel looked at me and Danny, since we were the only two left standing there. I dropped my gaze, because this wasn’t my problem to explain. It was Danny’s.
She caused this. She had to own up to it.
“Hello…anyone?” Rachel asked.
“Nothing, it was nothing….” Danny said, and the sound of her voice made me look at her. That was when I saw the tears that had fallen from her eyes.
She didn’t wait for a response, instead she vanished in the same direction Chase went and left me alone with Rachel, who seemed like she wasn’t sure what to say now. The crowd seemed to register that the show was over and went about business as usual.
Rachel came up to me then, “Ray, what the hell is happening?”
&n
bsp; I looked up and caught sight of Jaxson, who stood on the other side of the room, near the back door. His forearms rested against the wall, as did his forehead, as if he too wished he could vanish.
“I don’t know….” I said calmly as I watched Jaxson.
It was at that moment that I felt my heart being torn in two different directions. Part of it wanted to go after my best friend, who I knew hated herself right now, but the other half…it surprised me.
It wanted the other best friend, the one I didn’t know I had until the moment he punched someone in the face for calling me a bitch.
The moment he called me family without a moment of hesitation. The moment he stood up for me when it should have been my husband’s job.
That guy, it wanted to go to him.
Chapter Ten
Danny
I stormed out the front door in a hurry.
“Danny?” I heard Kevin, but I kept moving. I got a few feet from him before I stopped only long enough to slip my shoes off. Dirty pavement or not, I didn’t care as I held them in my hand and continued to walk until I was next to my car.
I stopped there, breathing quickly. I didn’t normally have panic attacks, but that was exactly what I felt like right now. My heart raced, and I couldn’t control my breathing, no matter what I did. I could feel my body trembling as I stood there, staring off into the darkness of the trees around Twisted.
What was I thinking agreeing to dance with Chase? I knew someone would notice and maybe that was my intentions, but why? Why did I keep doing this to myself? Why did I keep doing this to people I loved?
I felt them before I could stop thinking. The tears that had threatened to break free inside finally slid down my cheeks. I didn’t fight them. I couldn’t fight them, even if I tried. I dropped to the dirty pavement, releasing my heels as I did and fell against my car. I let the tears flow, letting my soul, my heart, break all over again. I wanted to be a better person. I thought I could be a better person, but my demons wouldn’t let me go. I was playing a losing game.
