by J Marie
The doctor is about to shove a big ass wand into my V that will probably be the most uncomfortable thing that’s ever been in there and that’s saying a lot.
The walls of this room are too white. Normally, I enjoy black and white, but today I want something less sterile. Something blue.
My attention turns to the little black and white screen to the right of the doctor. The doctor adjusts the wand once it’s inside and taps a few keys. You can tell Dr. Morgan has been doing this doctor thing for a while. She uses a calming tone, and her mellow-ness makes me feel less on edge. I haven’t smoked a good joint since I got knocked up, and I miss my weed. Or maybe just the calming effect it gives me, but I don’t want to do anything that will cause harm to my child.
Brooks has come to my side since checking out my lady bits. He holds my hand firmly and squeezes, letting me know it’s okay. He looks impatient as we wait to see our baby. Deep brown eyes firmly planted on the black and white screen like mine should be doing, but I can’t stop taking in this image of him being excited over something we created together. He’s been murmuring sweet words to me since the appointment started, knowing that he needs to calm my nerves.
He’s probably the only thing that could at this point. It’s been weeks since we found out I was pregnant. Ever since I came home, we decided to take it one day at a time, a step at a time. We’ve been learning about each other and working on more of our wish list items, but I’ve realized that it’s not about sex with us anymore.
Maybe it never really was…
Yes, the sex is hot, but it’s him that makes it so hot. It’s the way he cares for me. The way he’s been caring for our child who’s not even born. If I had to think about it, it hasn’t been about the sex for a while. It took some hard truths and a little pregnancy to make me realize it though.
Dr. Morgan clears her throat and points to the center of a circle. “There’s your baby, mom and dad.”
“Where?” I try squinting but my foggy eyes are heavy with unshed tears. Cue the waterworks. I start to panic, feelings crashing into every part of my body, and I shudder.
I feel a hand on my leg and look at her. “Hey, take a deep breath. I know it’s a big moment, Mia, but I need you to be calm for me. Okay?” I breathe in slowly and then release it out. She smiles. “Good, Mia. That’s really good.” We all look back up at the monitor.
She points to a small blob in the middle of the screen. “This little blob is your baby in there.”
I squint, leaning in closer. “Really? It’s so small…”
Dr. Morgan rolls the machine closer, so we can get a better look. “Yep, that’s your little one in there growing away.”
I look up at Brooks. “That’s our baby.”
A tear slips down his cheek, and he wipes under his eyes. “Yeah, beautiful, it is.” Seeing Brooks crying has me losing it. I feel so overwhelmed. My eyes start leaking, and there is no stopping this rainstorm.
Brooks looks over and winks. “It’s okay to cry, Mia. I won’t tell anyone.”
I huff, “I’m not crying, you’re crying.”
It’s a damn good thing I didn’t wear makeup today because it would’ve definitely run down my face in black waterfalls by now. All these emotions are hounding me.
Happy tears because I’m so thankful for the bundle of joy I’m carrying. Scared out of my mind tears because I don’t know if I can do this. It’s when fear creeps in and tries to strangle the last breath—a hand gripping your heart. Brooks squeezes my hand, reminding me that he’s still here with me.
Something that sounds close to wild horses running across the plains sounds in the room and I pause, listening. “Is that?” I whisper.
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” my doctor confirms. “We’ve got a perfectly healthy little embryo in there, you two. Everything looks just as it should. Would you two like a picture of the baby to take with you?”
“Of course we do,” I hear Brooks say, but it doesn’t really register. I’m so incredibly happy right now.
“Everything looks just as it should,” I repeat her words. The timeline is accurate. It matches the time Brooks and I started going at it like bunnies. She gave us the date she believes the conception happened, and I remember that night well. It was the night that I let Brooks kiss me for the first time. It really was a night of firsts for us—first kiss with Brooks. First time getting knocked up.
The doctor prints us off a couple of copies, and I can’t take my eyes off Brooks. He’s a ball of tears like I am. The emotions are breaking me down and exposing me bare. He finds me staring and winks at me, dimples blazing.
He leans over and whispers, “See what your kiss did to me. It just urged my manly swimmers to fight for your girls in there a little harder. You are magical. I can’t believe you don’t see it yet.”
I play smack his shoulder. “Brooks, hush.”
“I love you, Mama Mia.”
“Love you too, Papa Brooksy.”
Dr. Morgan is smiling when I look up, and I know she was listening in on our private convo. “Okay, you two. Congrats, we’re having a baby!” She reaches into her pocket, pulling out a script pad, scribbles something, and then passes it to me. “This is the name of some over the counter prenatal vitamins. You should be able to pick it up at any pharmacy. The nurse will come in and give you some of our literature for first-time parents and websites you can browse. If anything comes up at all, you can call us. There is an emergency line in case you need to reach me. Stop at the front desk on your way out and schedule your next appointment. I’ll be seeing you every month until your third trimester now. Lucky you.”
I look over at Brooks as he beams down at the picture of our little blip. “It’s really happening, we’re having a baby.”
“Yeah, we are Mia, and you’re going to do great.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because you’re fierce. You aren’t going to let anything happen to our little nugget.”
The doctor clears her throat, a small smile crossing her face. “Any other questions I can answer before I go?” Heat streaks across my face, flushing me with embarrassment. I thought she’d already left the room.
Brooks looks at me shyly. I quirk an eyebrow. He turns to Dr. Morgan. “It’s okay if we… you know, right? It won’t like… hurt the baby or anything?”
She laughs, and the tension of his question melts away. “Yes, you can be intimate with her. It won’t hurt the baby a bit.”
He looks down. “Okay, and it can’t see my like…” He runs his hands over his lower body and I stifle a giggle.
“No, it can’t see anything, dad. You’re good.”
“And… I’m not gonna like whack him or her in the head or anything if we get a little frisky with things?”
“Oh, good Lord, Brooks. Your dick doesn’t go into my uterus. The baby will be just fine when you love me hard.” A blush creeps across his face, and he laughs to cover the embarrassment.
Dr. Morgan chuckles and looks at me. “Any other questions, just send me an email or call. Here’s my card.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
She leaves the room, and I turn to Brooks. “Really, Brooks?”
“What, I kind of have a big dick, according to you… I wanted to make sure it was okay…”
“You’re a goof.”
“You love me.”
“I do. So much.”
His voice gets all low. “Do you have any idea how much that hospital gown is turning me on?”
I wink and spin around, shaking my bare ass. “Oh yeah? Sexy with my ass hanging out?”
He nods. “Mmmhmm… I think it would look better on the floor if I do say so myself.”
“I like it when you go all dark and naughty on me, Brooks. It’s so hot.”
“You know what’s hot? You standing there all knocked up with my baby inside you. It makes me want to do very, very dirty things to you. Like inspect every single birthmark and freckle that runs across your sk
in with my lips. Lick every inch of skin until I’m sure that I’ve tasted all of you.”
I drop my robe, bare naked in front of him and his eyes trail every dip and curve of my body. “How about this? Does this make it hot…?”
I don’t even get the word hotter out before he’s all over me—kissing me, running his hands up and down my body, making me ache for him. “Need you, Mia.”
“Well, come get me, big boy.” My hands find his belt buckle when there’s a knock on the door. We fly apart like we’ve caught fire, and Brooks turns so he can push his raging boner down. I bend, grabbing the robe and draping it over my shoulders.
The door opens a crack. “Everything okay here?”
Brooks grunts behind me, clearly disappointed, and holds me in front of him. I’m assuming he doesn’t want to share how turned on he is with the nurse. “Yeah, come on in,” I call out.
“So, Dr. Morgan wanted me to give you some pamphlets and website links for any questions you may have. I think she already gave you the prenatal information and her card, but if not, it’s in the packet as well. Anything else you two need before you go?”
I look back at Brooks and he winks. “No, I think we’re good.”
“Awesome. Don’t forget to stop by the front desk on your way out.”
“Oh, we won’t,” Brooks pipes up. She grins at us one more time, and with a congrats, she’s gone.
I go to grab my clothes from the chair, but Brooks beats me to it. “Let me help you.”
“Weren’t you the one who just wanted to ravish me in the doctor’s office?”
Dimples light up his face. “Hasn’t changed, but the faster I can get you clothed… the faster I can get you in the privacy of our home to do any number of naughty things with you.”
A yawn takes over, and I cover my mouth with my hand. “Ahhh.”
He chuckles. “Right after you take a nap. You were up kind of early today.”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
Leaning down, he holds out my panties for me to step into. He pulls them slowly up my legs, and my libido goes on a rampage. Apparently, my pre-pregnant horny was nothing compared to now…
He pulls them the last bit up over my ass and smacks it, then kisses my front. I love it when his lips are on my body. Pulling back, he lifts my bra. The black lace tickles my sensitive nipples, and I can’t help but let out a giggle.
As he turns me to get the back clasped, he kisses my shoulder and my neck. Each kiss, another zap to my already tingly skin from him, just being this close to me. I’m losing it, about to ask him to strip and do me right on the floor… but I figure someone else would knock on the door and interrupt us again… I won’t do that to Brooks and his raging boner.
Lifting my arms, he slides my cat graphic tee shirt over my head and bends to get my leggings, but I tsk him. “Oh no, you let me put those on myself.”
I make a big deal of bending over slowly while biting my lip and looking over my shoulder at him. I slip each leg over my feet and pull up ever so slowly, making sure he sees every single movement. A low moan comes from Brooks’ throat as he stands stoking himself behind me. “Problem?” I wink.
“You’re being a tease, Mia. You remember what happens when bad girls tease? They get spanked.”
“Oooo, you gonna go all bossy on me, Brooksy?”
“You’re working your way up to not being allowed to come later. Add in that you left me high and dry after getting me all worked up last night, and it’s looking like a long afternoon of build-up and let down for you.”
I raise my hand to my chest, faking shock. “You wouldn’t…”
“Keep teasing, and we’ll see.”
“Ya know, you were such a sweet little innocent thing a couple months ago…”
He winks at me. “I’d say by the way you’re squirming, you definitely prefer the new and improved Brooks.”
Damn, he’s good. That was about the sexiest, un-strip tease I’ve ever had in my life. He leaned in and kissed me once before picking up my bag and turning to leave. The kiss left me in a lust induced haze, and my brain was simply puttering along. I think I can. I think I can.
He helps me put on my winter jacket and gloves. The cold has chosen to stick around, and that means the holidays will be coming soon. I hate the holidays.
Every single holiday growing up made me bitter. Thanksgiving was always a fight. Christmas was just another day where you didn’t get presents, and my parents would yet again fight. I didn’t look forward to them this year, but maybe with Brooks, it would be different. Soon, we would have a child to spoil on the holidays, and I needed to get over my hatred for them.
He looked back over his shoulder as he walked purposefully toward the door. “You coming, Mia?”
“Not yet, but I hope to be soon.”
“Let’s get going then. Good orgasms are being wasted as we speak…”
We walk down the hall together, his arm around my waist and mine around his. I think to myself that we may just be alright.
It’s been weeks since we got to see our little nugget for the first time on that black and white screen in Dr. Morgan’s office. I’ve seen her twice since then, just for monthly exams and check-ups. The holidays have come and gone, leaving me in disbelief that it’s New Years’.
Since I found out about the baby, I’d called Rising Tides and asked them to postpone my showing. I had too many other things going on without worrying about an art show too. Worrying about anything is not a good idea for the baby. I’ve fallen so hard in love with this little one, and it isn’t even born yet.
I hope one day soon I’ll be able to feel the first kick of our child. I’m consumed with overwhelming emotions during the first trimester. Spending most of it reading every book, I can get my hands on and then terrifying myself with every bad thing that might happen between now and the birth.
I wake Brooks up time and time again when my brain won’t shut off with the questions constantly battering it. I’ll be the first to admit the fear of the unknown scares me.
Scared I’ll do something wrong.
Scared something will happen, and I’ll lose that tiny little life that Brooks and I created.
Scared that I’d turn into my mother and rely on drugs to chase the feelings away.
Brooks always manages to calm me and make me believe we’ll be better than our parents are.
We started talking about baby names, but without knowing if it’s a girl or boy, it kind of leaves us standing still. All that changes today.
We’re about to do the ultrasound that tells us if our little bundle is a girl or a boy. Dr. Morgan offered to do a genetic test at week 12 to determine the gender, but Brooks wanted to wait. Something about being together when we found out the gender.
The first couple of times after we’d seen my OB, he’d treated me with princess hands during sex. He wouldn’t give me rough, worrying that he may hurt the baby or me in some way. I’d finally sat him down one night and told him that if he planned on not getting laid for the next year, then he needed to up his game… and up his game he did.
My love for Brooks grows daily. It’s a constant in this life. Knowing that his love will never ebb or flow, it’s steady.
He wakes up and holds my hair as I puke my morning away, then he’ll make me a Rooibos tea and give me saltines, we’ll talk about everything we’d read the night before while I work on my paintings, generally followed by a quickie, and then he’d leave for the day if he’s scheduled to work.
We’ve become domestic, and for some reason, it doesn’t bother me.
At night he comes home, and I go to work.
On nights that I don’t work, we catch up on whatever show we’ve been binging on Netflix, and he’ll rub my feet. I’m spoiled with this whole foot rubbing thing. Brooks even makes it his mission while grocery shopping to make sure I’m fully stocked up on dill pickles, ice cream, lays, and chocolate sauce.
When this crazy train started months ago, I never thou
ght I’d be here now. Pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen with the love of my life.
Brooks has applied with a trade school to build on his desire to own a woodworking company. He wants to get a better job, and once the baby is here, we’ll be making quite a few changes.
Today, we’re back in the same room I was in for my eight-week appointment all those weeks ago. Luckily, no detestable stirrups this time. Dr. Morgan says we should be able to tell the sex with a non-uterine ultrasound, and that makes me gleeful. Just thinking about that probe makes my V cringe.
I don another one of those fashion gowns the nurse provides me. It rests against my bump, while a blanket covers my lower half. Score for being able to keep on my underwear.
The door opens, and the doctor walks in. “Mia, Brooks, how’s momma doing today?”
“Good, anxious to find out what we’re having,” I blurt out first.
“Alright, well, let’s get the ultrasound up and see what we can see.” She sits down on the stool beside me, getting the machine up and running. Cool gel hits my belly, a vast difference in temperature from my skin. As she trails the wand over my stomach, my eyes are glued to the black and white screen, waiting. Brooks squeezes my hand, but I won’t pull my eyes away, so I just squeeze back. I want to see as much of my baby as I can.
The wand moves over my stomach effortlessly thanks to the gel, and she presses down slightly. The blip on the screen no longer looks like a blip. There are arms and legs, even toes and fingers. The baby’s heartbeat thumps loudly throughout the room, and its music to my ears every time I hear it. It calms me that he or she has a strong heartbeat. Dr. Morgan makes a face at the screen, moves the wand again, another weird look. “Well, that’s interesting.”
My heartbeat shatters. Every bad thing I’ve read in the books comes to the forefront in my brain. I swallow audibly. I sneak a peek at Brooks, and his face looks pale. We’ve talked about all the things that could go wrong, so I’m sure his brain is scrambling to make sense too.
Getting up the courage, I ask, “What, what is it? What’s wrong?”
A smile crosses her lips before she points to the screen. I’m not sure what she’s looking at. “It appears there are two babies in there.”
