“Granger.”
I blink over at the front door, squinting to make sure I’m seeing correctly.
“Axel.” I hold up my hands, my fingers almost beckoning him. The light from outside fades as the door closes.
“You motherfucker.” He charges at me. “You really thought you could fuck my sister and live?”
I don’t even get the chance to hold my hands up before I’m lying on the stale, crunchy carpet, while Ammo and a bouncer pull Axel off me.
“Take it outside,” the bouncer yells, picking me up as I smile. Yeah, this is what I need. I’ve been waiting for this.
I spit blood and shake off Ammo. “She’s mine, Axel, so fucking deal with it.” What few customers there are in this joint start yelling and filming as Ammo pats my shoulder and pushes me toward the door.
“Hey, Axel,” the bouncer says as he escorts him outside with me. “You give my best to Blade, man.” He lets go of Axel and walks back inside.
We stare at each other. “Look, I should have told you.”
“Are you kidding me, Granger? You fucked my sister, then knocked up another bitch?” he explodes. “You just don’t learn, do you? Gia’s coming home with me. Forget you know her, or I’ll kill you.”
“Axel, do you think you scare me? I don’t give a fuck,” I yell at him as the limo pulls up. “Gia’s an adult. She can make her own decision—” The sting of his punch makes my head swing to the right, and I wonder if he broke my nose. I don’t care. Physical pain always feels better than watching Gia cry.
“Goddammit, Axel, watch his face. He’s got to perform in an hour.” Ammo stands to my right smoking a cigarette, holding up his hand to stop Ace from interfering.
“That’s it, Axel?” I pound my chest. I need this, want this. My fist makes contact with his eye.
Rock God Twins is what they used to call us because we used to look alike, but as we beat the shit out of each other, I realize we look nothing alike. Axel is changing. His eyes have seen and done shit that I don’t understand.
“Enough.” Ace grabs my arm.
“She’s my sister, you fuck,” Axel bellows. “Have some respect. I should put a bullet in your head.”
“You’re so full of shit, Axel. You’re gonna put a bullet in my head because I’m in love with Gia?”
We’re both panting as he sneers, “Love. You don’t even know what that word means. You can’t make her happy. You must know deep down that all you’ll bring is misery, and I can’t have that.”
He shakes his head and scowls at me. “Dude, you and I both know you’re like Christie.” I take a step forward, but Ammo holds me back.
“Come on, brother. We have to go. We’re gonna be late.”
“You know nothing, Axel, because you’re a sociopath,” I spit, rage radiating through me as I shake Ammo off. “And if you mention my mother again, I’ll put a bullet in your ignorant head.”
All he does is smile and take a step forward. “I know you, man. Those demons run deep. You don’t want your mom brought up, then stay the fuck away from Gia.”
I can’t hear anymore. I’d rather we beat the shit out of each other than this, the reminder that he’s right.
My hands open and close. The skies open and rain pours down on us. “Gia, is mine, Axel, and you know it.”
Axel snorts. “Oh, really? Let’s see how accepting she is when you’ve got a kid you want her to help raise. That’s not her thing, brother.” He’s not even yelling anymore just stating all this as if it’s a fact.
“If you try to take her or tell her lies—” I lunge for him as Ace and Ammo hold me back. Axel stands there, shaking his head, laughing. And all I can think of is if I had a gun he’d be dead. I’d beat that smirk off his face and pull the trigger.
His eyes narrow as he stops laughing. “She’s coming with me. Forget you know us.” He turns to get on his black Harley.
“Come on, Granger. Let’s go, man.” Ace pushes me back and opens the limo door as I watch Axel, his hair already dripping wet, start up his bike. He’s texting someone.
“Where’s Gia? I need a phone.” I get in, the adrenaline rushing through me. Ammo and Ace follow and the limo pulls out.
“I took her to the stadium. I’m not gonna lie, she’s pretty upset about all of this.” Ace’s voice is calm, as if he can help me extinguish the murderous rage that runs through my veins.
You can’t make her happy… you’re just like Christie. I run a hand through my wet hair and realize I’m bleeding. Who cares? He knew exactly how to come at me, exactly how to take me down. This is not about my external bleeding; this is about him threatening my very existence if he gets to her and takes her.
“A phone. Give me one,” I bellow. My energy is so off-balance Ace holds up his hands as if that will stop my hemorrhaging.
“Here, man, take a breath.” Ace hands me his phone, and for a second I see myself through his eyes, as if I’m in a tunnel. All I see is pity. He thinks I’m nothing but a fucked-up rock star.
I stare at him as he cocks his head at me.
Dismissing me.
Axel, Ace, Ammo the three A’s, all of them dismiss me. Staring at me as if I’m crazy. Just one breath away from the psych ward.
Leaning back in the seat, I exhale. I’m calm now. I toss the phone back to Ace, who looks shocked, but catches it.
And I face the truth… I did this.
Axel’s not gonna take her away. Gia will willingly want to leave me. I thought I was worthy of her, that I could love and be loved. But the universe always reminds me, slaps me in the face and tells me that it’s not the case.
My path is alone.
“Granger?” Ace’s concerned face comes into focus.
“Fuck it.” I turn and look out the window as Mother Nature weeps for me.
GIA
Past – Eighteen years old
San Francisco, California
“Ace, what the fuck are you saying?” Rafe yells next to me on the phone.
I’m wet and cold, and to be honest, I’ve never been more miserable in my life. Rhys didn’t come back last night. My mind was my only company, and it’s an awful friend. Every horrible scenario played over and over in my head all night. I might have dozed off around 4:00 a.m., but let’s be honest—my nightmares might’ve been worse than being awake.
I can’t eat, and if those fucking groupies shoot me one more dirty look, I will not be held responsible for my actions.
I pull my hand through my long hair trying to keep it out of my face as I hear Rafe saying, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Does he need a medic?” He looks around, his frown landing on me, and I know something bad has happened.
Is happening.
“Oh God,” I whisper, and for the first time in my life, I wish I was religious and believed because it’s time to start praying.
My eyes veer back to him. With his tall frame and expensive black suit, he appears strong, confident, and perfect. I barely put on makeup. I’ve cried so much my eyes are swollen and my cheeks are flushed. I might have made myself sick. My skin’s so hot, it’s as if I have a fever.
I think I slathered on some red lipstick before I left the hotel. I was going to stay, wait for him to finally come back. But my mind wouldn’t stop. I kept imagining Rhys with one of the band’s many groupies.
It would help if I could stop crying. But I’m biting back tears while I watch everyone else getting pumped up—all but the lead singer and his guitarist.
Rafe breaks our gaze but continues to yell out demands on the phone and at the road crew. Shivering, I bite my bottom lip.
It’s coming.
The final straw. The nail in the coffin. The thing that’s gonna send me over and make me start screaming and never stop.
Cash is jumping around, stretching in a silver Adidas sweat suit. Thankfully, the rain isn’t getting worse. It’s sprinkling, and the stage is wet. Numerous guys are on their hands and knees with bar towels trying to make sure no one slips.<
br />
Rafe looks down at me, his arms crossed. “How you holding up? You look a little pale.” His voice is almost kind, but I’d rather he were a dick.
“I’m fine,” I snap at him. Rafe has never been my fan, so being nice tells me it’s bad, whatever it is.
I point at Renee. “Why is she here?”
Only women who are getting fucked by someone in the band are allowed backstage. I guess since she’s telling everyone she’s Rhys’s baby momma, she thinks she’s Queen Bee. Either that, or Rafe is behind it.
“Gia.” He looks down at me and sighs. “Look. I told you from day one, something like this would happen. I warned you, did I not?” I go to speak, but he holds up his hand. “This isn’t the first time, nor will it be the last.” He looks back at the stage. I grab his forearm, his suit feeling like silk, as I fight my need to beg him to help me.
“She’s lying. Right?” I need him to say yes, say everything is okay, that whatever it was on that phone call is not as bad as I think.
Just help me.
He frowns at me. “I have no idea, Gia. Rhys fucked her on and off. I’d prepare myself that it’s his.”
The floor rumbles as the crowd becomes electrified, but all I want is for it to open up and take me with it. Swallow me into the earth, just disappear, because my lack of sleep, no food, and fear that I’ve lost him is making me break.
The crowd roars again, causing me to jump as Nuke walks onto the stage. Strobe lights flash on and off and I think I might puke.
“Then it’s true. He fucked her?” I yell at Rafe who’s right next to me, his knowing eyes boring down into my head.
“Oh, sweetheart, yes, he’s fucked all of them.”
“I can’t do this.” I back away as again the crowd goes wild.
He nods and looks to the stage. “I know you can’t.”
“Rock Godddd. Aaaccce of Spades. Rock God. Ace of Spades!” they chant.
“Don’t make yourself any more sick. You look like you might pass out. I have someone who’s going to help you.” He speaks to me soothingly like I’m a wounded animal or hurt child.
I nod like a zombie, not understanding anything he’s saying except that Rhys fucked her and that he warned me.
“It was nice meeting you, Gia Fontaine.” My eyes dart to him, watching as he walks away. And I’m alone.
Alone with forty-thousand adoring fans.
“Gia.” I take a breath because this might be when I really do snap. His whore can’t really have the gall to speak to me. I turn and stare at her stomach as though I’m watching a car accident and can’t look away.
“I thought you might want to see a picture of his son?” Her fucking accent makes me grit my teeth as I look up at her pretty face. Glancing over her shoulder, I see her posse of bitches behind her.
It dawns on me that I never fit in. The whole time I’ve been on tour, not once have any of them ever smiled at me or said hello.
“What?” I yell, barely able to hear. Cash has taken the stage. His bass guitar is so loud my ears are ringing.
“Our baby. Mine and Rhys’s. I have my latest ultrasound photo, and I figured since you might be like his second mommy, you and I should become friends.” She shoves it into my numb hands as I stare at a black-and-white picture of an ultrasound, I guess.
Tears fall, and for the first time in my life, I couldn’t care less that I’m showing this woman my pain.
“Look, I’m going to be honest since you look like you’re… not well. I’m not going away, Gia. I’m having his baby. It’s only a matter of time before I’m back in his bed. Having a child with someone creates a bond that can never be broken.”
“Get the fuck away from me,” I yell, dropping the picture.
She cocks her head as if she’s trying to decide if I’m gonna fight, and like a dumb bitch, she has to have the last word.
“I will, but your days are numbered.”
I almost start laughing, because numbered? My days are done. He’s stripped me of my dignity. I don’t even recognize myself.
Except that I can feel him. He’s coming. No matter what logic my head tells my heart, it still beats for him.
Only him.
I watch as he and Ammo enter. He’s everything, a god surrounded by mere mortals. I wanted so badly to be what he needed. I believed that I could be enough for him.
My eyes move to Ammo who drinks from a bottle of Jägermeister and strips off his wet shirt. He slings his guitar over his neck.
I back away, wanting to run, but can’t because no matter how much he hurts me, he is and always will be my soul.
He holds up a hand and takes a towel to wipe his face, then looks up, his eyes searching for me.
Everything fades.
Time stops.
Voices, music, the crowd gone.
He looks at me, and my heart, which I didn’t think could break any more, rips in two as I watch him come for me.
My throat tightens and it’s hard to breathe. I barely notice that his nose is bloody and his lip is swollen. He looks like he got hit by a truck, but I know better.
“What happened to you?” The hurt that’s been piling up seems to reflect in his eyes.
“Everything.” The crowd roars as Ammo takes the stage, and I can tell I’m losing him. I can’t share him anymore. He wasn’t mine to begin with; he was always theirs.
Rhys belongs to his fans, the nameless masses that adore and worship him.
“If this baby is yours, do you plan on being in its life?” He cocks his head as his eyes caress my face.
“All I do is make you cry.” He frowns as he reaches to touch me, but I back away. His hand drops and his eyes change.
And I know that he’s guilty of all his sins.
“I have to go.”
I nod yes, then fight myself and almost grab his hand. Almost beg him to reassure me about way too many things. Because in twenty-four hours, everything has changed.
He starts to walk to the stage, and I yell. “Yes or no?”
He looks up and his eyes mirror my pain. A knife twists deep in my heart as I wait for him to make me bleed.
“If that child is mine… Yes. I will raise it.”
I choke back the lump that seems to want to strangle me, and nod again as I watch him walk onto the stage.
The floor seems to be alive with their excitement. Only a few lead singers are great. Rhys Granger is one of them.
This is our goodbye. I allow myself this last bit of love, knowing I will never listen to him again.
“Gia.” Slowly, as if in a dream, I face my big brother. He takes one look at me and pulls me into his arms, shielding me like he always has from any pain.
But he’s too late. I’m bleeding like someone has opened a vein and I’m drowning in blood.
“This hurts,” I cry into his shirt.
“Fuck him.”
I close my eyes as Rhys’s voice ricochets around the stadium. Burrowing my head in Axel’s shirt, I finally let it out in loud, gut-wrenching tears. His arms hold me as I sob and try to talk, knowing he can’t hear me with all the noise. It doesn’t matter. I don’t even care that I can’t seem to stop. It doesn’t matter because Axel is here and I’m not alone.
“Piece of shit.” Axel strokes my hair. “I’d kill him, but by the look of things, I think you did the job for me. He can fucking wallow and slowly die in his own misery,” he snarls.
I shake my head as I gasp for air. I’ve cried so much, I’m forced to breathe through my mouth.
“I love him.”
He takes a deep breath and releases it. “You’re eighteen,” he grits out, as though trying not to lose patience. “You’ll go back to college and find someone else. Fucking Granger will be nothing but a bad memory.”
“You think he got her pregnant?” I say to the air, since I’m holding onto his T-shirt, staring blankly at all the insanity happening around us.
Axel snorts. “Of course, he did. This is his pattern, Gia. Why woul
d you want to surround yourself with this shit? You’ll be miserable. Look at you already.” My heart squeezes. He’s right—I know he is.
“He’s my everything. You don’t understand what that means, that I’m not me without him.” I pull back so he can see the truth. The music is so loud it’s vibrating through my chest.
“He’s not good. He’s not the man for you.” I stare blankly as his words almost take me down.
“He’s good,” I yell.
Axel stares at me as if I’m lying. My mind battles my heart. Can I really live with all this? Can I let him destroy me with other women and being a father to babies that are not mine?
I can’t.
But thinking that and actually making myself leave him, giving up on everything that I dreamed about? That’s the crazy thing about dreams—they can turn into nightmares real fast.
“I’m gonna get my bike. If I stay any longer, I may get violent. The decision is yours.”
I back up and wipe under my eyes as I try to smile reassuringly at him. If I don’t want him to kill Rhys, I need to go.
“Give me a second.”
He looks down at me, then over at the stage. “Make it fast.” His blue eyes hold mine, and that’s the last of his patience. He’s done.
Nodding, I turn to watch Rhys one last time. He’s mesmerizing. Beautiful and not mine.
All I do is make you cry.
One foot in front of another, I walk. Passing roadies that give me sympathetic nods. Passing Rafe and Renee as my face burns with humiliation.
I. Don’t. Belong. Here.
I push back my hair, vaguely caring that I’m leaving without my suitcase. All it would do is remind me of him anyway. I have everything I need in my bag.
I start to run and nearly trip down the steps leading to the parking lot. Stopping, I look up at the dark sky.
“Why?” I scream as the rain picks up and my body shivers. I want to sink to my knees and let the water sweep me away.
“Why?” I scream again, this time turning, knowing that he’s here. My heart races as an angry zigzag brightens the night and I see Rhys’s beautiful face. He stands in the rain, his dark hair wet, his eyes full of pain. I open my mouth to scream my rage at him, wanting to beat on him, scratch him, make him bleed like me.
Rise: A Second Chance Rockstar Romance (Rock God Book 1) Page 18
