by Leta Blake
Aaron drowned that desperate thought with another mouthful of whiskey. Fixing his attention on the band, he noted that it was made up of two girls and two guys: a glittering, probably Korean woman on drums, a pixie-looking lady with blue hair seated at a decorated, stand-up piano, and two fine, wiry pieces of man-flesh on bass and guitar. Both of the guys weren’t too precious to play up the Christmas theme either. One wore jingle-bells on reindeer antlers, and the other had tinsel bracelets and necklaces shimmering with every move.
Aaron’s gaze hung on the lead-singer-slash-guitarist. Beneath the reindeer antlers, the man wore his light brown hair shorn close to his scalp, and he possessed an easy sexuality that made Aaron’s nipples tingle and his overeager cock rush hot with blood.
Aaron rolled his eyes at his own horniness, annoyed to be like a raw nerve, needy and twinging with every semi-arousing stimulus in sight. Like this tall, handsome singer with his beautiful, angular body. Damn. Nothing semi-arousing about him. More like a total hard-on.
Finally finding an empty corner to lurk in while he waited for CaptainKY to arrive, Aaron stared at the stage, chewing his bottom lip and nearly drooling over the lead’s muscled arms and attractive hands. It was like a poem, the way the tendons of his forearms moved with each chord change. Aaron’s skin felt alive just watching.
As minutes passed and Aaron slowly sipped his whiskey sour, letting the alcohol relax his high-strung nerves, he admired the singer’s strong jawline and the wiry ligaments of his neck as he sang Christmas songs both strange and familiar. His voice was a scratchy baritone that sent shivers down Aaron’s spine.
Aaron licked his lips again, spinning out a fantasy where he got this man on a bed somewhere, straddled his long legs, and unwrapped the nice package showcased by the tight fit of worn jeans.
Flushing with want, Aaron fanned himself. He shouldn’t have worn a sports coat. Christ. Given that he’d been horny as hell before he even arrived at the pub, it wasn’t surprising that he was steaming hot in here now, or that his imagination had taken such a dirty turn when faced with a man exactly his rough-looking type. This was the kind of man who clearly knew what to do with his hands—based on the work those fingers were doing on the fretboard, anyway.
Standing there, sporting wood beneath his sports coat, Aaron was unprepared for the effect a certain toss of the lead’s chin would have. That quick move, followed by his piercing gaze raking over the crowd, triggered Aaron’s memory.
In a flash, he knew him.
RJ Blitz, former high school senior, sat in back row of Aaron’s very first English Composition class as a teacher. He’d glared at Aaron like he’d wanted to turn him inside out, or beat him up, or do something else that had left Aaron feeling eternally anxious for that whole school year.
Fuck.
Even now Aaron battled the fear that a student would guess his sexuality and use it to hurt him—either professionally or physically. He only needed one more strike and he’d be out. Even five years ago, before the mistake and the humiliation, RJ Blitz had been a student Aaron had avoided interacting with.
RJ had been just as tall and lanky as he was now, but he’d also radiated an intensity that had shaken Aaron to the core. Violence. Attraction. Aaron didn’t know, but he didn’t risk reaching out, even when RJ’s grades had been subpar despite his clear intelligence.
Once RJ had graduated, not only had Aaron been glad, but he hadn’t ever anticipated seeing him again. Well, maybe on the local news, arrested for God only knew what. Drugs probably. Though, to be fair, that had been a mostly subconscious opinion he’d formed of RJ’s possible future based on the anxiety RJ had always made him feel, the lack of effort he put into his work, and classist biases that Aaron was ashamed even now to admit to.
He blinked at RJ on the stage, all coiled sexuality and shimmery Christmas-coated lust. How was his former student the total hottie he was hungering for as he owned the small stage at Scruffy City Hall? A student. His student. And here Aaron had been ogling him for nearly thirty minutes. Hard for him even.
Fuck.
Based on the friendly smiles shot out to the giddy audience, as well as the affectionate, happy glances sent toward his bandmates, RJ was no longer the furious young man he’d once been. But there was still some underlying something in him that sent a shiver through Aaron’s body, riled him up, and, at least tonight, engaged his lust.
Maybe it was because on stage, all of RJ’s formerly pent-up, hostile energy was transformed into pure sex. No matter what song he pulled out—a rock version of an old Christmas standard, or a cheesy rendition of “Frosty the Snowman”—sexuality simply rose from him like a glowing aura of hotness.
Yes, his former student was quite possibly the most delicious thing Aaron had laid eyes on in ages. At least since the last Cocky Boys porn clip he’d jerked off to several days before.
RJ tossed his head again, and Aaron groaned. Definitely even yummier than porn.
Aaron stayed in his corner, sipping his drink. Watching. In the dark privacy of his mind, he allowed himself to imagine all sorts of dirty things: RJ shoving him against the alley wall behind Scruffy City Hall, RJ’s hand against his neck as he jerked Aaron off, huffing small growls in his ear like the ones he’d just let loose in the middle of an artsy rendition of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” RJ plowing him as Aaron cried with joy.
He squirmed against the wall and took slow breaths. He wished CaptainKY would arrive already so he could get fucking laid. And he also hoped CaptainKY took his time, so he could watch RJ’s whole set. He didn’t want to miss a single, sexy minute.
Jiminy Christmas. What was wrong with him? He seriously needed to get fucked tonight. That was the only explanation for the appealing wrongness of wanting a former student—one wearing tinsel on his wrists, jingly reindeer antlers on his head, and a sexy smirk on his face—to fuck him silly. As messed up as it was, there wasn’t much Aaron wouldn’t do to get a chance at RJ Blitz. Just look at him, for God’s sake…
But Aaron had never been quite that good, or quite that bad. Santa didn’t give out presents like that. At least, not in his experience.
CaptainKY would just have to do. Now where the fuck was he?
Hopping down from the stage with adrenaline still rushing all wild and jangly, RJ tugged off the reindeer antlers and tinsel bracelets. Tossing them into the small crowd to the sound of a half-dozen girlish squeals, he made his way to the bar. Strange hands clapped his back, guys offering up congratulations, and young women trying to catch his eye to offer up more than congratulations. Unfortunately, girls in general weren’t his type, and he had eyes for only one thing at the moment: a cold beer.
RJ motioned for the bartender and was rewarded with a frosty, freshly poured mug. He took a deep gulp, closed his eyes, and moaned as the bitter barley taste filled his mouth and slipped down his dry throat. Perfect.
“Did you hear them?” Madison, the band’s pianist said, appearing at his elbow with the rest of the band just behind her. She grinned up at him with shining blue-green eyes they same color as her hair. “They love us.”
RJ shrugged. “Hard not to love Christmas music if you’re a fan of the season.”
Still, he knew just what Madison meant. The crowd had really loved them tonight. They could have played another hour if they’d had the material ready. His entire body thrummed with the kind of giddiness that only performing well in front of a receptive crowd could arouse. It was almost as gratifying as playing stadium tours as a professional guitarist with big-name bands. The roar of the crowds, the lights from the cellphones held up in the air, the screams… It all got his heart pumping like nothing else.
“Well, what now?” Madison asked, leaning against the bar and peering up at him. “Are we all going to party or…?” She shrugged.
“No partying for me,” Joel, the bassist and RJ’s old friend from high school, cut in. “I have a store to open in the morning.” Joel owned a local home and garden store, and t’was
the season for fir trees and poinsettias. He squeezed RJ’s shoulder. “Casey and I are gonna pack up and head home. Want us to grab your stuff too?”
RJ glanced toward Joel’s boyfriend standing nearby, smiling, blond, and oozing with pride. Casey was RJ’s friend too, and he’d been closer to him over the years than he’d been to Joel, but now that they were a couple, RJ hardly ever saw Casey alone. “That’d be great. Thanks. Let me finish this beer and I’ll come help load out.”
“You stay here and enjoy your drink,” Joel countered. “Casey and I can take care of loading out. It’s just your guitar and amp. Becca always deals with her drums. How she fits them into the back of that Forester, I’ll never fucking know. It’s magic or something. But, yeah, man. Relax. Have a beer.”
Casey approached, gripped RJ’s arm, and squeezed warmly. “You don’t have to get up early tomorrow. Unlike us.” He winked. “Have fun tonight. You deserve it.”
RJ wasn’t sure why, exactly, Casey thought he deserved to get off scot-free from the pain-in-the-ass job of breaking down their equipment and loading it out, but he didn’t argue. He’d gotten used to roadies handling that stuff when he toured with big groups, and it was nice to pretend that he was a big enough act all on his own to not need to bother with it now either.
“Practice on Friday again?” their friend and drummer, Becca, asked, sidling up closer behind Madison and wrapping her arms around her middle. Becca’s long black hair was shimmery with glitter product, and she hadn’t removed her tinsel halo.
“Yeah. Seven o’clock at Joel’s place.” RJ nodded.
“Good. ’Cause we need it.”
Casey scoffed. “From where I sat, you guys already sounded great.”
Becca laughed and tweaked his chin. “Like you’d know. You always think anything Joel does is amazing.”
Casey kissed Joel’s cheek and shrugged his agreement. A vague jealousy settled under RJ’s skin. What would it be like to have someone to greet him like that as soon as his feet were off the stage? What would it be like to have someone who looked at him that way? Even Pan, his last boyfriend, had never shone with love like that.
Then he let it go. Casey and Joel were cute, but they didn’t live the kind of life RJ wanted for himself. Too settled. Too domestic. Too…sweet. If he ever committed to a relationship, he’d want something with more of a bite to it. A sharp, hot spark.
After final goodbyes and reassurances that Joel and Casey really didn’t mind loading out without him, RJ grabbed another beer and headed out the front door. Scruffy City Hall’s patio faced Market Square proper. Though a few people lingered, chatting with the bouncer, it was mostly empty, folks preferring to be inside on this chilly December night in Tennessee.
RJ wore only jeans, combat boots, and a black T-shirt, and he dropped into a chair at a wrought-iron table, shuddering as the sweat on his skin prickled in the cool breeze. Normally, he’d want a jacket at the very least. But after the heat of the packed interior and the bitter cold of the winter he’d spent in Finland last year, the chilly night air felt good on his sweaty skin.
Stars popped between folds of darkness, obscured by the lights of the square, and the scent of buttered popcorn drifted over from the outdoor ice rink the city slapped up every year at Christmastime. Squeals and gurgles of laughter spilled out from the walled oval of ice, providing a bittersweet sense of innocence offset by the thrum of dance music coming from inside the pub behind him.
RJ scrubbed his hand over his closely cropped hair and sighed with pleasure. Kicking his feet up into the chair next to him, he slung back another gulp of beer, then pulled out his phone to open his latest hookup app. There had to be a hard-up hottie in the holiday crowd somewhere, either in the pub itself or in another establishment in Market Square. It was Knoxville, for God’s sake. Home of tons of closeted, horny men.
As he swiped mindlessly, holiday shoppers went in and out of the Market Square stores. All of the windows were beautifully decorated with greenery, lights, colorful ribbons, bows, and shining stars. RJ had just decided to give up on the app and on getting laid when Scruffy City Hall’s door flung wide and a slender man in his late twenties stalked out with a cell phone pressed against his ear. His shoulders curved against the punch of cold wind, and he shivered hard despite his tweed sports coat.
“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you,” the man said breathlessly. “Are you running late?”
RJ’s heart stumbled. The man might have his back to RJ, but RJ would recognize that voice and that hot ass anywhere. Any. Fucking. Where.
An electric thrill shot up RJ’s spine.
Sitting up straighter, he dropped his feet to the ground and ran a hand over his hair to smooth it again, before quickly sniffing his pits. Not too ripe. Not too fresh either. Sweaty, like a man should be.
Yes, a man.
No longer a boy. It’d been five and a half long years since he’d last seen Mr. Aaron Danvers in person, and RJ most certainly hadn’t been a man back then.
“Oh.” Mr. Danvers’s head and shoulders dropped. Puffs of condensed breath lifted around him, and he shifted from one foot to the other. Suddenly, he raised a hand and flipped off the sky. Then, totally casually, like he hadn’t just expressed rage to the heavens, he said, “Of course. No problem. I completely understand. Have a good night.” Mr. Danvers ended the call and cursed softly before dropping his phone into his jacket pocket.
With his back still to RJ, he leaned his weight against another empty patio table, gazing toward the skating rink. Several slow seconds ticked by with music from the rink drifting over to them, Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” along with the giddy yells and bubbling laughter of people too young to know how crap the world could be. Or what it was like to be let down.
Mr. Danvers loosed a long, frustrated sigh. “Fuck,” he whispered finally.
“Get stood up, Mr. Danvers?” RJ asked. His insides trembled with fizzy-popping excitement, like someone had slipped Pop Rocks into his beer. But he leaned back in his chair, crossing his boots at the ankle, and tried like hell to look calmer than he felt.
Mr. Danvers’s shoulders tensed again, and he whipped around.
RJ caught his breath. God, he’s still perfect.
Mr. Danvers’s golden-brown hair, highlighted by the white twinkle lights all around Market Square, shifted in the breeze and looked soft to the touch. He’d maintained the compact, twinky build that had made even teenaged RJ feel like a hulking giant next to him. Everything about Mr. Danvers’s lithe body had always been arousing—his long neck, his delicately tapered fingers, and especially his juicy ass, which was currently encased in sexy, fitted trousers that hung perfectly to show off its shape.
Fuck.
RJ had often fantasized about biting into that bouncy flesh. Of course, he’d never had the pleasure. After all, Mr. Danvers had been his teacher. Off-limits and out of bounds. Not to mention completely oblivious to the desperate crush suffered by the gangly, acne-faced, long-haired, queer kid in the back of the sixth-period Senior English Composition classroom.
A surge of confidence lifted RJ’s chin. His face had cleared up since then, and he’d cut his long, greasy hair years ago. He was an attractive, grown ass man now. He’d traveled the world, for fuck’s sake, and screwed a lot of dudes. He wasn’t the awkward kid he used to be. As Mr. Danvers stared at him in surprise, and with a hint of confusion in his furrowed brow, RJ tried to put all that hard-earned adult experience into his expression.
Because, while there had never been any confirmation, or even any real rumors around school about Mr. Danvers, RJ had killer gaydar. And Mr. Danvers was as gay as a rainbow flag busting out its best colors over the Pride Parade.
He just knew it.
Mr. Danvers stared at him for a long, awful moment, and RJ’s bravado wore terrifyingly thin—had Mr. Danvers forgotten him?—before a smile of recognition broke across Mr. Danvers’s fine-featured face. “RJ Blitz? Is that you?” His adorable dimples grew deeper. “
I didn’t recognize you up on the stage.”
RJ cocked a brow.
Weird. RJ wasn’t sure why Mr. Danvers had lied, but he knew bullshit when he heard it. Maybe Mr. Danvers hadn’t recognized RJ for a moment in the dark of the patio outside the bar when he’d first turned around, but he’d damn well known who he was on stage. Small inflections of Mr. Danvers’ voice and a sudden strain in his eyes had given that much away.
Curiosity about Mr. Danvers’s lie bit into him, like the way he wanted to bite into Mr. Danvers’ butt. What had prompted such a denial? Surely it couldn’t be…
There was no way…
Right?
And yet, in an instant, he knew. Mr. Danvers had found him attractive. Mr. Danvers thought he was hot. Mr. Danvers…yes.
A plan formed.
First, he’d get Mr. Danvers to chat with him right here and now. Then he’d convince him to get a drink and talk longer. And then, the coupe de grace, he’d seduce the man. Though he’d start with just the drink. Thinking too much about anything more would cause him to explode like a cheap amp plugged into an overcharged circuit. But, with any luck, he’d find out just how tender Mr. Danvers’s ass truly was tonight.
“Did you enjoy the show?” RJ asked, taking another slow pull of beer, pleased his hand didn’t shake.
“Of course!” Mr. Danvers’s dimples blessed RJ again. “You guys were great. You are RJ, right? I didn’t misremember, did I?” Mr. Danvers shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. It was that familiar, smug, teacher-stance that used to make RJ want to bend Mr. Danvers over his wide, messy desk, and spank the man until he didn’t act so distant and adult.
After all, Mr. Danvers was only four or five years older than RJ. That small age gap had been a thorn in RJ’s side back then, keeping him from even hoping he could have what he wanted, and he wasn’t going to let Mr. Danvers act like he was that much older than him now, either.
