by Leta Blake
“Well, you could,” Joel said. “It’d make things interesting.”
“Nah.” RJ didn’t think Aaron would want that kind of attention.
Besides, he was pretty sure that saying no to the dance invite had hooked Aaron in even more. Aaron wouldn’t have agreed to whatever was going to happen at his apartment tonight if RJ had accepted the invite to the dance. In fact, RJ was willing to bet that Aaron would have withdrawn the invitation entirely if RJ had actually said he wanted to go.
Some part of Mr. Danvers wanted to feel in control—wanted to be the one to invite, and offer, and sext. But what Aaron really needed, deep down, was to feel like someone else was in control. And that the other person truly wanted to be in control, and knew to be, and when.
By refusing the invitation, RJ had taken back the reins, and Aaron had given them over easily. It seemed clear: Yes, Aaron wanted to be wanted, but more than that, Aaron needed someone who could hold appropriate boundaries while Aaron lost his. That, more than being in control, made Aaron feel safe enough to do this again.
RJ had sensed that truth in Aaron all the way back in high school. He’d always dreamed of being the one Mr. Danvers surrendered to, and when they’d had sex the other night? Mr. Danvers had surrendered fully. Like a sweet bitch in heat—needful and desperate. And everything about it had been just as good as RJ had known it could be.
But none of this understanding was anything he could share with his friends. That would be a violation of the trust Aaron didn’t even know he’d given RJ. But he knew he’d made the right choice in declining the invitation to the dance. The choice that would lead to Aaron willingly spreading his ass tonight to take RJ deep and hard.
Or maybe he’d ride Aaron’s cock instead. RJ wasn’t picky.
“I think you’re missing an opportunity,” Joel reiterated. “This school dance is the perfect way to show him you’re serious.”
“I want to fuck him, not marry him,” RJ said, putting his guitar aside. “I’m not serious, and frankly, I think that’s the last thing he’d want me to be.”
“He just wants a holiday fling?” Casey said with an arched brow and a flash of crinkle-eyed amusement aimed at Joel.
“He wanted a one-night hookup. The fact that he’s back for more at all is down to my ability to play it cool. I promise, I’m not blowing anything. Except him.”
“So, deep down, you really think Mr. Danvers likes that you rejected him? Even though he asked you out?”
“Pretty much.” RJ shrugged.
Down deep, Aaron liked a lot of contradictory things. But RJ didn’t mind. He liked that about Aaron. Wanted to be the one to get to see that prissy, filthy man embrace all the naughty, sexy sides to himself.
“I’m not buying it. A guy that uptight wants a hell of a lot more than no-strings-attached fucks,” Joel said, shaking his head. “He screams ‘in need of commitment.’”
Given how tightly Joel had held himself back from what he truly wanted before Casey busted through his defenses, RJ figured he was probably speaking from personal experience. But that didn’t mean the same techniques that had worked on Joel would also work on Aaron, or that RJ even wanted them to.
“Well, sure, Aaron probably wants more than he’s asking for, just like anyone. But he’s skittish.” RJ left out the part where Aaron clearly needed someone to force him to come undone, to break him down into a puddle of goo just to relax enough to be held. “Coming on too strong will drive him away. Besides, neither of us is looking for more than sex right now.”
“It’s like petting a deer,” Casey said, thoughtfully, poking away at the iPad again and not looking at either of them. “You set the feed out and let the deer come to investigate it. First, she’ll come up, sniff the food and run off. Then she’ll come back, sniff the food again, run off. And then, if you’re very relaxed, and also lucky, she’ll come back and eat right out of your hand.”
RJ pictured Aaron as a deer and had to admit that Casey was on to something. And, just like the deer, even after Aaron had eaten out of RJ’s hand, he’d scamper off to his forest again. Because that was the natural order of things between men like them. Aaron was far too edgy, and RJ traveled too often to ever train Aaron to be the kind of “deer” to come when called, or the kind of man to stay open and trusting between far-apart fucks.
“Is that what you do with your time while I’m slaving away at Vreeland’s? You lounge around in the yard luring deers?” Joel asked Casey, laughing.
Casey shrugged. “Before I got enough clients to stay busy, let’s just say I had some free time. And I only did it once.”
Joel snorted.
“What? I got to pet her. She was beautiful.”
Joel put his guitar aside and crawled on the floor to Casey. RJ rolled his eyes and started to put his things away. The murmurs and kissing sounds were more than he needed to witness. He was glad for their sake that they’d finally accepted what they were to each other, but they didn’t need to turn everyone else’s stomach with their sweetness.
At least Aaron was more into spankings and keeping things kinky. RJ knew what to do with a man who wanted that. But in his experience, attempting to build something based on true affection and tenderness always backfired. Not that he was building anything with Aaron, other than a possible connection for future hookups whenever he came to town. Not that he wouldn’t be tender with Aaron, especially as a reward for taking cock so well.
He grinned and zipped his guitar into the soft case, rising and slinging it over his back. He’d definitely reward Aaron for that.
“I’m out.”
Joel started to heave himself up and away from Casey’s arms, but RJ waved him off. “I can see myself out. You keep on being disgusting. It’s nice.”
Joel and Casey laughed, and RJ left them to it.
After buckling up, he checked the time on his phone again. It was only six-thirty, but he had some errands to run. He needed to pick up a wooden ruler, and if he could find what he wanted at Wal-Mart or Target, he’d up the ante on their naughty list joke too.
A message popped up on his phone.
When will you be home? Doug’s out with Carter tonight. The kids and I are going to watch Star Wars. Remember how often you watched it as a kid? Wore out the VHS tape. Want to join us?
RJ smiled at the vision of his brother and sister on the sofa with his mom. It was sweet to be invited, and he should probably take her up on it, given that spending time with his family was his number one reason for being in town at all. But there was no way he was missing out on a second night with Mr. Danvers.
Sorry. Have plans. Don’t wait up. See you tomorrow sometime.
His mom didn’t reply until he was in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Be sure to cover your light saber.
RJ sent an eyeroll emoji back and was rewarded with a kiss emoji in return. Maybe he and his mom would figure out how to be in each other’s lives again, and maybe they wouldn’t. But he supposed this was a good start.
He swung by the condom aisle after getting what he needed from the school supplies, electronics, and holiday sections, and picked up a fresh box, along with his favorite lube. He had just one more stop to make, this time at a local sex shop.
RJ hoped Mr. Danvers was ready for a night of Christmas kink. Because he sure as jingle-hell was.
Chapter Thirteen
Middle school dances were pretty easy to chaperone. No girls or boys really wanted to be anywhere near each other, so it really was all about making sure the guys didn’t come up with a dumb idea that would endanger them physically. Like, say, doing a back flip off the top of the gym’s bleachers or something.
Aaron stood off to the side of the basketball-court-come-dance-floor sipping red, fizzy punch and trying not to think about RJ and what sexual pleasure might be waiting for him after the dance was over. Despite ruthless attempts to corral his thoughts, jittery excitement still climbed around inside him like a five-year-old on a jungle gym.
He couldn’t wait for the dance to wrap up, and he hoped to duck out before he could get roped into any kind of cleanup. With his mother present, though, he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to escape her clutches.
Carter Ward danced—if that’s what all that flailing could be called—with his pals near the middle of the court to the latest dreadful song-sensation. There always seemed to be a new one, ever since the long-lost “Macarena” hit the charts when Aaron was just a baby. At least this one didn’t have a required dance to go along with it or ask questions about what red-furred animals might say, though the repetition of a high fashion brand turned slang-word was a bit boring. It was only the fourth time the song had been played tonight. Aaron figured he’d have to endure at least two more.
The saving grace was that he knew old-school Whitney Houston had been cued up. He’d made sure of that himself, placing the request with the DJ during his last pass that direction.
“Nice tie,” an adult male voice said from his left. Aaron turned to find Doug Ward wearing a green polo shirt and khaki pants. Tall and fit, he was handsome for a harried father. And if Aaron remembered correctly, he was a doctor, too. He wondered when Doug found time to work out.
Doug lifted his cup of punch at Aaron and asked, “Get it around here?”
“Picked it up in Atlanta, actually,” Aaron said, glancing down at the subtle weave of color through the silk. Greens, reds, and whites. A Christmas tie for sure, but not an overt candy cane of stripes. “Can’t recall the store. Sorry.” He’d been there with a hookup, actually. A long weekend trip to Atlanta over his last Christmas break had satisfied his needs for nearly six whole months.
During the trip, he’d indulged in a series of Grindr fucks with a few different guys, but the real reason he’d gone down to the big city had been for a paid session with a Dom with a very good online reputation. And well-deserved, as it turned out. The man had spanked Aaron until he’d cried, made him come, and then took him shopping at a very fancy mall for silk ties as his reward for taking the pain so well.
Aaron hadn’t even gotten fucked by the guy, and yet he still counted that experience as one of the most satisfying encounters of his life. Topped only by his night with RJ Blitz. Man, he was a kinky bastard, wasn’t he? And he shouldn’t be thinking about that now with Carter Ward’s dad standing next to him watching the kids with a small smile on his face. This was a night for innocence. Aaron should have worn a different tie.
“So, how’s Carter doing?” Doug asked. “He’s been sullen around the house lately. I can’t make heads or tails of it. Wondering if I should brace myself for his report card.”
“His grades have held steady in my class. I can’t speak for any of the other teachers, but I get the impression that it’s not school that’s bothering Carter,” Aaron said carefully. He couldn’t violate Carter’s trust by revealing the content of their conversation to his father, but he might be able to hint around at it.
Doug nodded. “Me too. He’s been squirrely lately. Do you think the other guys are bullying him? For being…” Doug trailed off and frowned. “He’s never said the words to me. I don’t know. Maybe he’s not.”
“Not what?”
“Gay. Or bi, like me. I don’t know. I’ve just always thought…” Doug glanced around, confirming they were still mostly alone and that no kids were lingering nearby listening. “When he was a kid, he had a pretty big crush on his mother’s male tennis instructor. I just assumed…”
“You’re bi?”
Doug nodded. “Prefer women for the most part, but I’ve dabbled.”
Aaron also confirmed their relative privacy before asking, “And Carter knows about that? The, uh, dabbling?”
“No! No, why would I worry him with that? If I’d started seriously dating a man after his mom and I split up, I’d have told him, of course. But I met my current wife and fell for her pretty fast. She’s a great woman.” His eyes went distant and happy, and Aaron felt they were in danger of losing the thread, so he directed Doug’s thoughts back toward his son.
“If Carter is…how should I put it…not-straight—and I’m not saying that’s his truth, because the thought never crossed my mind, frankly—but, let’s say he isn’t entirely straight, then it might help him to know that a man he admires and looks up to isn’t either.”
“He does look up to you,” Doug agreed, nodding thoughtfully. “I think you’re a good role model for him. I mean, from what I can tell. He speaks so highly of you at home. It’s always Mr. Danvers this, and Mr. Danvers that. You’re his favorite teacher.”
How could the man be so oblivious? And given such an obtuse man had guessed his sexuality, it was clear that as Aaron had aged he’d become more obvious in his preferences despite his best attempts to keep it covered up. Was it his voice? His mannerisms? Or, fuck, the tie?
“I mean, I’m sorry.” Doug flushed. “I assumed…you are…” He cocked his head, observing Aaron’s discomfiture. “I’m not usually wrong.”
“You’re not wrong,” Aaron said quickly. “But what I meant was that Carter could use a role model closer to home.”
“His mother’s brother is gay,” Doug said thoughtfully. “Maybe I could ask him to talk to Carter.”
“Maybe you should talk to Carter,” Aaron suggested. “You don’t have to confront him about his feelings but telling him about your own might help him feel safe to volunteer information about his, if he has any.”
“I don’t know,” Doug said, shifting awkwardly. “Does he really want to know anything about what his father likes in the sack? Does any kid want to know that?”
Aaron blushed. “Well, no, but—”
“Mr. Danvers!” his mother’s voice was sharp and demanding and coming from directly behind his back. It was like a knife plunging in, and his heart dropped into his stomach. How did she have such an instantaneous effect on him?
“Principal Shock,” he said, turning around to smile at her. He motioned toward Doug. “This is Carter Ward’s father, Doug. We were just talking about Carter.”
She lifted a narrow, overplucked brow at Aaron, and then turned a less icy expression on Doug, offering her well-manicured hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Ward. Carter is a great asset to our school community.”
Doug laughed. “That might be laying it on thick, Principal Shock, but I’m glad you don’t have anything bad to say about him.” He glanced between Aaron and his mother and then said, “Pardon me. I’ll get some more punch. Thanks for the chat, Mr. Danvers. Carter likes your class a lot.” He headed away, eager, no doubt, to get away from the crackling tension between his son’s teacher and the principal.
“What do you think you’re doing?” his mother hissed, tugging Aaron farther away from the dance floor into a dark shadow behind the bleachers. “Flirting with a student’s father like that?”
“I…what?” Aaron stared at her.
“That is utterly inappropriate.”
“We were literally discussing his son, Mom. My student. I was not flirting with him.” Aaron’s temper rose hot and frustrated. “You’re the one being inappropriate.”
She loomed over him, using her height to dominate. “I know what I saw, and what every other adult with eyes saw. I’ve warned you not to embarrass me in this school. Not to embarrass me ever again.”
“He’s not even my type.” Aaron could have bitten off his own tongue for saying that. He didn’t need to defend himself. He’d done nothing wrong.
“God forbid this school ever knows what your type might be. We agreed when you came aboard here that you’d keep all of this—” she motioned at him, like whatever she disdained it encompassed the whole of him “—to yourself.”
Ears burning, the words spilled out before Aaron could stop them. “You’re treading perilously close to harassment, Mom.”
“Excuse me?”
“If I were a straight teacher, talking with a student’s father, this would never have come up. You’re harassing me because I�
��m gay. Which, fine, it’s something I’ve learned to live with at home, because God knows you’re unable to accept me for some reason—”
“I accept you. How dare you say I don’t accept you, Aaron? I simply don’t condone your behavior. Especially not on school grounds. After what happened before, you should know better. You and I have made agreements.”
Aaron’s chin came up, righteous rage giving him courage. “For the sake of our relationship, yes. I’ve agreed never to bring a man into your home. I’ve agreed not to come out at school. I’ve agreed to hide who I am to make you more comfortable, but it’s not working anymore.”
“In what way?”
“You see homosexual intent where there is none, and you’d deny me the natural expression of my feelings with men that might actually matter—”
His mother shushed him, her nostrils flaring. “Keep your voice down.”
“Fine.” There were a few wallflowers who had scooted in their direction, seemingly to eavesdrop. A reckless part of himself wanted to let them hear. Maybe one of them could learn something about being true to themselves and standing up to their parents, even if it was years and years too late. But a more cowardly part of himself wanted to scrunch down and be small, unobserved, unnoticed, and safe.
He lowered his voice. “You already ask a lot of me, Mom, but it’s never enough. I do my best not to embarrass you, to keep my love life to myself—”
His mother dragged him deeper beneath the bleachers. She hissed, “A ‘love life’? Is that what you call these illicit and, quite frankly, dangerous assignations you engage in?”
Aaron had no idea how his mother knew anything at all about his sex life, but he wasn’t going to ask. It was a small city. No matter what lengths he went to for privacy when getting a sexual fix, gossip would get around. It was why he so rarely indulged. His heart hammered, and he went sweaty and flushed.
