“How can that be, Roz? How is it possible?”
She was crying again, weakly, the tears running slowly down her cheeks. Roz wiped them away and grabbed her hand again, kissing it.
“I’m sorry, Fiona. I shouldn’t have told you now. I should have waited until you felt a little stronger.”
Fiona choked on a sob and wiped her face clean again. “No. I’m sorry. I…I don’t know why I’m crying. Just scared, I guess.”
“We’re all scared.”
“Who’s scared?” Jill asked from the doorway. She too was in a wheelchair, but she was still wearing a hospital gown. Unlike Roz, she looked beaten down, battered. In addition to a large cast on her lower leg, she was bandaged and pale, her eyes still black and her cut lip swollen and bruised. Even in the last couple days, she appeared to have lost a lot of weight, her hair thin and lank.
Dr. Lata appeared behind her. “Ms. Delmonico? It’s time. Let’s get you checked out. Your ride is here.”
“Can I come back here when I’m done with the paperwork?”
Dr. Lata shook her head. “No. That wouldn’t be a good idea. She needs her rest, and visiting hours are almost over. I’m going to ask Jill to keep this short. But you can come back tomorrow.”
Roz met Fiona’s eyes and then levered herself out of her chair, kissing her, hard. She ran her fingers along Fiona’s cheek and then sat back down. “I’ll be here tomorrow morning. Try not to worry too much, okay? The police are here, and they and the staff are watching you. No one will hurt you.”
“Okay.”
“Get out of here, Roz,” Jill said. “You two can canoodle tomorrow.”
Roz wheeled past her, swatting her arm, and threw a quick wave back before letting herself be pushed out the door by the doctor.
“So,” Jill said.
“So.”
Jill grinned and wheeled herself closer. “You saved my life, lady.”
“Everyone keeps saying that.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“But they got away, Jill. And I shouldn’t have made it.”
“But you did.”
“No—that’s not what I mean. Right before I got to the road, I saw that woman.”
“You did?”
“Yes. She had a gun. She had every opportunity to kill me. I even told her to shoot me and get it over with.”
Jill laughed. “You did? Badass.”
Fiona shook her head. “I don’t know why she didn’t. And now she’s still out there. They’re all still out there.”
Jill scooted forward in her chair, wincing slightly, and grabbed Fiona’s hand in both of hers. Fiona was reminded with a sweeping wave of déjà vu when she’d done this same thing, in the woods, just before she and Roz left her by the river. That same cold determination was there in her eyes.
“You listen to me now, Fiona. Are you listening?”
“Yes, but you’re hurting my hand.”
Jill didn’t let up, still squeezing it. “Listen carefully. You can’t let this ruin your life. You have to let it go. I was out there by myself all night. Every sound I heard, I was sure they were coming for me. Then, finally it was someone, well, something, whatever—a great big, goofy search dog. He let me cry on him until his handler showed up. They dragged me out of those fucking woods on a stretcher. We finally got here to the hospital, and when I heard that those assholes had escaped, I almost died.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I literally almost died. Technically, I had a ‘cardiac event,’ but it means the same thing. They had to use the paddles and everything to get me going again.”
“Oh, Jill.”
She nodded. “Exactly. When I came out of it, I made a choice. Either I could fret on this for the rest of my life, or I could let it go. Fiona, you have to do the same. It’s the only way we’ll keep going.”
“But how? How can we keep going, knowing those people are still around? That they could show up any minute? Our names are in the news! They’ll know who we are!”
Jill shook her head. “Stop it. Stop it right now. What the hell can you do about it? Do you want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder? No one can live like that forever and not lose their mind. Just let it go. Let’s put this whole shitty thing behind us and never look back.”
“But—”
Dr. Lata entered then, and after one glance at Fiona, her expression darkened with annoyance.
“Are you upsetting my patient, Jill?”
“No, ma’am! I promise. I was just about to leave.”
“Good, because I was just about to come get you.”
“Remember what I said, Fiona,” Jill said. “Think about your choices here. Choose life.”
Dr. Lata, perhaps more annoyed than she was showing, quickly wheeled Jill out of the room before Fiona had a chance to respond.
She lay there, thinking about what she’d said, not moving, long into the night.
Epilogue
“So how long have you been brewing beer?” Roz asked, sipping from her Solo cup.
“Gosh, it’s almost fifteen years now, though a lot of that was training,” Erin said. “We’ve had the brewery for only six of that.”
“Has it been that long?” Fiona asked.
“Yeah. I know it’s hard to believe. It’s downtown. Bennet Sisters’ Brewing. Ever been, Roz?”
“Nope. But I don’t live here in town. I’ll have to have Fiona bring me over. This porter’s fantastic.”
“Thanks. We’re tapping the Watermelon Gose on Wednesday. Also, Fiona, the expansion is finally finished. I’d love to show both of you around.”
“It is?” Fiona asked. “That’s good to hear.”
“Yes,” Erin said. “We’re really pleased with how it turned out. Now Darcy’s trying to get me to diversify. She thinks we should start distilling vodka and gin.”
“Imagine,” Darcy said, spreading her hands, “homemade gin and tonics.”
“Ever thought of doing whiskey?” Roz asked.
“Roz is a scotch person,” Fiona explained.
“Ah,” Darcy said, “a woman after my own heart.”
Fiona settled back under Roz’s arm, happy the three of them were hitting it off and happy to let them keep talking without her input. She closed her eyes, sleepy from the heat and day drinking, and leaned farther into her girlfriend’s body. They were sitting on an outdoor loveseat together, across from Erin and Darcy. Everyone at the party was on the patio under the pergola in Jill’s backyard. Usually Jill set up her badminton/volleyball net, but even with the water misters spraying liberally, it was far too hot in the sun to consider doing anything active right now. Fiona couldn’t remember a Labor Day this warm.
A little over five weeks had passed since their rescue, and everyone was on the mend or past it. Jill and Carol were still in casts, but both had recently upgraded to the walking type. As she’d predicted, Roz was already fully healed, only two or three tiny pink scars on her calf to mark where the trap had pinned her. Fiona’s shoulder was back to normal, the scar faint, her fingernail was growing back, and the minor plastic surgery on her face injury had gone well. She was down to a small bandage on her cheek. Everything was almost back to normal.
No, better than normal. She and Roz were basically living together, spending every night either at her place or Roz’s. Though they hadn’t talked about it yet, it was probably only a matter of time before they got their own place together either here in Loveland or up in Fort Collins. Her friends and family had given her a hard time at first, the usual U-Haul jokes, but even those had let up, and neither she nor Roz had really cared about the teasing. They were happy, and they needed each other, especially those first days and weeks.
The nightmares had lessened, but plenty of nights one or both would still wake up in a panic. Sometimes it had nothing to do with bad dreams. Sometimes one or the other was just terrified. A shadow would pass by a window, they’d see movement in the backyard, and one or the
other would get a faraway look in her eyes. Fiona always knew what Roz was thinking about when she did that, and she imagined it was the same for her.
Still, their time together since the hospital had been the best weeks of her life. They’d been honeymooning, mostly, so, besides a few visits with family and a couple of friends, this was their first real outing as a couple in public. Lots of Fiona’s friends would be here today, so she’d been a little anxious about how well Roz would fit in. Now she knew she shouldn’t have worried. Everyone loved her.
“What do you think?” Roz said, shaking her slightly.
“Hmmmm?” Fiona asked, sitting up and rubbing her face.
Roz and the others laughed.
“Were you asleep?” Roz asked.
Fiona grinned at her, scooting up for a quick kiss. “Sort of.”
“Ah. Well, Darcy, Erin, and I were planning a trip together.”
“Oh?”
“To Scotland, to see the Highlands, tour the distilleries.”
“I’m doing a long trip there next summer for an article I’m working on,” Darcy explained. “Erin’s already coming with. You two should join us.”
“Sounds great,” Fiona said. “Count me in.”
She and Roz kissed again, and Erin and Darcy chuckled.
“You’re really cute together,” Erin said.
“Aren’t we?” Fiona asked.
Everyone laughed again, and Fiona looked up at her girlfriend. Seven weeks ago, she would never have believed this would be her life now. She’d had to go through hell to get here, but she thought if she had to go through it again to be where she was now, she’d do it. Most of the time, anyway.
“Have you guys seen Jill?” Erin asked, peering around. “We’ve been here for half an hour, and she’s MIA.”
“She was out here when we got here,” Fiona said, likewise scanning the crowd. “We met her new girlfriend.”
“And her boyfriend,” Roz added. “Well, we didn’t meet him, actually, since I already knew him. He’s a friend of mine. Jon.”
“Oh, gosh, that’s right,” Erin said. “I remember now. She’s dating one of our servers, right?”
“Gina, yes,” Fiona replied.
“I bet you anything that’s where they are,” Roz said, tilting her head at the house. “Somewhere inside together.”
Fiona wouldn’t put it past Jill to do exactly that. Disappearing for a booty call was par for the course at Jill’s parties.
“Well, I don’t know about you, hon, but I could use some food,” Roz said, squeezing her shoulder. “I can’t drink this much on an empty stomach.”
“I’m sure we’ll catch you guys again later today,” Erin said, “but just in case, come by the brewery later this week. Any day but Tuesday and I can show you around.”
“Will do,” Roz said.
She helped Fiona up, and they fought through the crowds to the food tables set up in the garage. Huge fans were set up in here, and the big door on the far side was open, so it was relatively pleasant, though quite loud. Fiona knew perhaps half of these people. Despite her abrasive personality, Jill was incredibly popular, and her Labor Day party was the final queer event of the season in their small town.
Carol and Sarah were standing near the desserts, and Fiona was surprised to see Jill there with them, especially without one of her new lovers. The three of them were laughing together, which was a relief. Two weeks after the hospital, when they’d been interviewed, yet again, by the police, Carol and Sarah had given Jill the cold shoulder at the station. Fiona was surprised they’d even come to the party. Jill, spotting them, waved them over.
“Hey, ladies!” Jill said, giving both a big hug. “You enjoying yourselves?”
“Great time,” Roz said.
“Yay!” Jill said, jumping up and down despite her cast. “I’m so glad we’re all here together. Bygones and all that, right?”
She was clearly a little tipsy, and the four of them nodded in agreement with her, each of them hiding a little grin.
“Well, I have some hostessing to do, but I’ll try to catch y’all later. Eat up! Drink up! It’s all on the house!”
The four of them watched her leave. She was hugging and kissing her way through the crowd, hardly even limping.
Roz shook her head. “Well, she’s chipper.”
“She’s wasted,” Carol said. “She came over here and gave Sarah a great big sloppy kiss.”
“I was so surprised, I didn’t know what to do besides lean into it,” Sarah said. “She’s a good kisser.”
“Hey!” Carol said, swatting her.
“I’m so glad you guys came,” Fiona said. “I wasn’t sure I’d see you two today.”
Carol and Sarah shared a quick glance, and Carol shrugged. “Yeah, well. We talked about it, and we both decided it was time to move on.”
“And Jill left us about a thousand voice mails, apologizing,” Sarah added. “It seemed kind of, I don’t know, petty to keep being angry.”
No one had to say more than this. Jill had left the two of them, hopeless and helpless and alone in the woods. Still, Jill had suffered, too. They all had. No one, it seemed, wanted to rehash all of that, however, so no one brought it up. They hadn’t talked about any of it, in fact, as a group. Fiona wondered if they ever would.
“You guys look great, by the way,” Carol added.
“For real,” Sarah said. “Dynamite. Is that a new haircut, Fiona?”
“Yes, it is. Thanks for noticing.”
Fiona smiled up at Roz, proud. They’d been honeymooning, yes, but they were also taking care of each other in other ways, too. Roz had a much better diet than Fiona, and she’d adapted to it without a struggle. Fiona, on the other hand, had a decent sense of fashion, especially when she dressed other people. Roz’s closet had been filled with nothing but hiking and ski wear. While this was a standard Colorado wardrobe for a lot of people, Fiona had bought Roz her entire outfit today—red Bermuda shorts and a pineapple-patterned, blue button-up. She was seriously gorgeous in these clothes. Yesterday, Roz had taken her to her barber, and the man had done something incredible to her usual mousy blob. Roz would always outmatch her in the looks department—nothing would ever convince her otherwise—but she had to admit they weren’t entirely mismatched now. She liked to think they complemented each other.
“We’d love to have you guys over for dinner soon,” Carol said.
“Yes! That’s right!” Sarah said. “Thanks for reminding me, honey. Carol’s birthday is in a couple of weeks. Can you come by?”
“The twentieth, right?” Fiona asked.
“Yes.”
“We’ll be there,” Roz said.
“Good,” Carol said. “And don’t bring anything—just your gorgeous selves.”
The four of them loaded their plates. Most of the chairs were taken on the patio, so the two couples were forced to separate to hunt for places to eat. Roz led Fiona back to where they started, but Erin and Darcy had wandered off somewhere, and the two empty chairs by the little table there weren’t next to each other. They sat down anyway, Roz introducing herself to the woman next to her—someone Fiona had never seen before. It was too loud out here to hear their conversation, but Fiona was amused to see the woman preening and flirting with her girlfriend. Roz was clearly oblivious or polite enough to pretend not to notice.
Fiona turned her attention to her own plate, polishing off her food quickly before realizing she’d left her drink somewhere. Roz was still listening to the other woman, bent slightly toward her, and she waved a dismissive hand at her when Fiona mimicked raising a drink to her mouth. She took her empty plate back into the garage, relieved to see that the crowds had thinned out a little in here.
Jill was there, standing by the drinks table, her back to Fiona.
“Hey, girl,” Fiona said, touching her shoulder.
Jill turned, and Fiona was surprised to see that she’d been crying. She wiped her face and gave her a sickly smile.
“What’s wrong?” Fiona asked.
Jill flapped one hand. “Nothing, everything. I think I drank too much. Just being maudlin.”
“So maybe you should give this to me,” Fiona said, taking her drink.
Jill grinned and nodded. “Maybe you’re right.”
Fiona took a couple of sips from it, eyeing her friend. Unlike herself and the others, Jill hadn’t quite bounced back the same way they had. She was still too thin, her face pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes. Still, Jill was dating two people, so some of this, she hoped, could be the result of sleepless nights. But probably not.
“Wanna talk about it?” Fiona asked.
Jill lunged forward, grabbing her shoulders and digging her fingers into Fiona’s skin. “Do you think about it?”
Fiona didn’t have to ask her what she meant. “Of course I do. All the time. We all do, I’m sure.”
“So how do you keep going? How do you forget about it? You and Roz, and Carol and Sarah—you all seem like you’re past it, like you’ve moved on.” Jill’s lip quivered, and she put her face in her hands. “It’s all I think about. All the time, every minute of the day.” She dropped her hands, her eyes dark pools of terror. “It’s breaking me, Fiona. It’s ruining my life. I’m not even sure I can keep my job anymore.”
“I thought you were doing okay, Jill. Jesus. You told me to put it behind me. That’s what I’ve been trying to do.” She paused and squeezed Jill’s hand. “Are you talking to anyone about this?”
“Who would I talk to? You and Roz have been locked away the last four weeks, and this is the first time Carol and Sarah have talked to me since…everything.”
“I don’t mean us, Jill. I mean have you talked to someone? A therapist? A counselor of some kind?”
Jill made a dismissive gesture. “Oh, come on. How would that help? All of it is crazy. No one would believe me.”
“What are you talking about? Of course they would!”
From the Woods Page 25
