* * *
The forbidding sight of Strangeways Prison wasn’t enough to dishearten her. Neither was the long wait and the curious stares of the wardens, nor the miserable room into which she was eventually shown; though she did feel highly apprehensive while seated at one side of a table, with a prison warden behind her and a vacant seat for Doug opposite.
Rosie believed she had prepared herself for anything. But when Doug came through the door, she gasped aloud. He was a shadow of his former self. In his drab prison garb and with his hair cut within an inch of his head, he was almost a stranger. Yet there was something horribly familiar about him, a kind of intimacy that shook her to the core. For one unnerving moment, when Rosie looked into these wild odd-coloured eyes, it was Martha who stared back at her. And it was Martha’s voice that addressed her in clipped tones. ‘You’re late!’ Grabbing the back of the chair, Doug drew it out and sat down. ‘Couldn’t face the thought of seeing me, eh?’ he demanded sharply.
‘I missed the tram.’ It seemed such a lame thing to say, but it was the truth. ‘I’m sorry.’ She half smiled, but it died on her lips when he sat before her, his peculiar eyes boring into her face.
‘I suppose when it came right down to it, you couldn’t stay away. Curiosity got the better of you, did it? Wanted to see the kind of place you’d put me in, did you?’ When she hesitated, he raised his voice. ‘ANSWER ME, BITCH!’
At once the officer stepped forward. ‘All right, officer,’ Doug acknowledged humbly. The officer stepped back, and Doug returned his gaze to Rosie. It wasn’t humble now. It was hard and penetrating. ‘I’ve had time to think in here.’ Though he spoke in a quieter tone, his voice was sharp and cutting. ‘Oh, yes, I’ve had plenty of time to think.’ His hands were clenched together on the table, and while he spoke he rubbed the palms one against the other. They made an odd rasping sound, like two dry pieces of wood.
‘I’ve done some thinking too,’ she told him softly. There was an air of dignity about her that momentarily silenced him. Her eyes regarded his ashen face. ‘There’s been a great deal on my mind of late.’
‘Hmh! Not about me, that’s for sure.’
‘Yes. About you, and Martha, and how desperately sorry I am for what happened.’
‘Sorry!’ he sneered. ‘Won’t bring her back, will it, eh? Won’t save me from the gallows either.’ He watched her reel back at his words and was glad to have shocked her.
‘Surely to God it won’t come to that? I mean, they can’t hang you for defending your own son.’ The idea that he could be hanged had never seriously entered her head. ‘She would have killed him, Doug. I know she would have killed him.’
‘Happen I should have let her.’ His lips curled wolfishly. There was so much loathing in his eyes that Rosie could almost feel it.
‘Why would you even think such a terrible thing?’
‘Because he ain’t mine, that’s why.’ His fingers shot out and gripped her hand. ‘That’s what she said, weren’t it, eh? The little bastard ain’t mine.’ His fingers closed tighter until she winced with pain.
‘You know he’s yours.’ Shocked and enraged, Rosie wondered how in God’s name Doug could think otherwise.
‘Mine, eh! And how would I know that? You were always yearning for Adam. Even after we were wed, you still wanted him. Oh, don’t deny it. Every time I looked at you, I could see it. I could feel it whenever I took you, and as far as I know you still want him! How can I be sure you and that bugger didn’t copulate behind my back, eh? Come to think of it, the boy don’t even look like me.’ All these things had been churning over in his mind since he’d been put away. Now it was all he could think of. Eating, waking and sleeping, his mother’s vicious accusation burned in him until he was almost crazy. ‘If you ask me, it were all a set-up!’ His finger-nails dug so hard into Rosie’s skin that they drew blood. ‘You deliberately antagonised my mother. That night, you could have handled her, but you called out for me. Why? I’ll tell you why! Because it were all part of your plan. You wanted me locked up, so you and Adam Roach could have it all your own way.’ Kicking away his chair, he dragged her up by the hair. ‘My mam knew what you were up to, and you wanted her dead, didn’t you, eh? You wanted me out of the way and her dead! That’s right, ain’t it?’ In his madness he had lost all reason.
The pain was so bad, Rosie couldn’t even scream. It was as though her scalp was being torn off. Suddenly the officer was grappling with Doug, and she was caught in the middle. A whistle sounded, and the door was flung open. It took four burly men to tear him from her, and when he was led away, she was left bleeding and deeply shocked. ‘It’s all right, luv.’ The officer gently showed her to an office. From a distance she could hear Doug yelling: ‘He can have you… you and the little bastard! But I’ll find you. I swear to God, if I get out of here, I’ll hunt you down wherever you are!’
‘Not the nicest fella that ever walked, is he?’ The officer stayed with her while she received first aid. Handfuls of hair came out with the bathing, and there were deep scratches all over her forehead. ‘You can press charges, you know.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want that.’ Even now, Rosie was reluctant to make things worse for Doug. But, as far as she was concerned, they were even. If she had ever blamed herself for what happened to Martha, her guilt had now turned to contempt. How could he have believed his mother’s vindictive lies about Danny being Adam’s son? God! If that had been true, she would have gone with Adam right from the first. Marrying Doug was the biggest sacrifice she had ever made. And the reason was because she was carrying his child. When Danny was conceived, Adam was serving in the forces. Doug knew that. And still he was taking Martha’s word against hers. If only she’d been given the chance, Rosie would have argued this with him.
The kindly officer escorted her to the front gates. As he let her through, he eyed her up and down. ‘You don’t deserve a man like that,’ he declared. ‘But when he’s allowed visitors again, you’ll be safe. I can promise you that.’
Glancing beyond him to the barred windows and the open yard, she replied simply, ‘I won’t be visiting again.’
His lined face softened slightly. ‘I understand,’ he said, closing the gates.
The sound of the huge bolts being thrust home sent a shiver down Rosie’s spine. For a long poignant moment she remained perfectly still. In her mind’s eye she recalled the awful scene in that tiny room. When Doug accused her of bearing Adam’s son there was such loathing in his voice it had made her blood run cold. When he’d dragged her up by the hair, there was murder in his eyes.
There in the street, with the smell of the prison still on her, Rosie made a heartfelt vow. ‘Doug Selby, even if you were to be set free tomorrow, it’s all over between us. As long as I live, I can never forgive you for renouncing Danny.’ Danny was Doug’s son. Now, he was an outcast without a father. ‘But he’ll have me,’ she murmured, making her way to the tram-stop. ‘With the help of the Lord, I can be mother and father to him.’
* * *
Peggy knew as soon as she opened the door that there was something wrong. She saw the way Rosie’s hair was pulled over her forehead, saw the determined expression on that lovely face, and sensed there had been trouble of a kind. But the only comment she made was to assure Rosie, ‘Danny’s been as good as gold. He ate all his breakfast and now he’s playing in the yard.’
‘Thanks, Peggy.’
‘I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?’ Peggy suggested. When Rosie gave no answer, but instead closed her eyes, Peggy went to her. ‘Was it such a dreadful ordeal?’ she asked kindly.
Turning, Rosie smiled, but it was a sad little smile. ‘I shan’t be going to see him again.’ Coming away from the door, she sat herself at the table. ‘Doug and I have nothing more to say to each other.’
Astonished, Peggy followed and sat in the chair opposite. The tea could wait. This couldn’t. ‘I can’t say I’m sorry,’ she confessed. Leaning forward on the table, she put her
chin in her hands. ‘I knew there was something the minute I saw you. What happened in that place?’
Rosie described everything. About how Doug believed Danny was not his, and how he’d viciously attacked her and had to be dragged away screaming. ‘There’s no future for us, not now,’ she explained decisively. ‘For Danny’s sake more than mine, I’ve turned a blind eye to many things. Now that he’s rejected his son, there’s no need for me to go on pretending.’ Though her heart was breaking for Danny, the fact that she would never live with Doug again was a great relief.
‘You could go to Adam?’
‘I could no more go to him than I could love Doug! You know how I feel about Adam taking Ned’s business. Besides, one way or another, Adam is at the bottom of everything that’s gone wrong in my life.’ She could hear herself saying these things, but she was not entirely convinced. She might hate herself for loving him, but she couldn’t stop that same love from growing more intense over the years. Adam was her first love. He was her only love. Now, though, it was all too late. ‘Please, Peggy. Don’t ever speak of him again.’
‘If that’s what you want?’
‘Haven’t I said?’
‘Okay. But there’s something I want to say, and the sooner I get it off my chest, the better.’
For the first time since she came through the door, Rosie smiled, a one-sided, knowing little smile. ‘Go on then,’ she suggested. ‘You’ve been itching to tell me something since this morning, so you’d best let it out before you burst.’
‘I want to come and live with you. I’ve been thinking about it for ages, gal. You and me, in this little house with Danny. It’ll be really cosy. I can pay you a proper board, so you won’t be too strapped for cash. I’ll help with the cooking and washing, and I’ll even mind Danny if you want to go out once in a while of an evening…’
‘Whoah!’ Rosie laughed. ‘What brought all this on?’
‘Well, it makes sense, don’t it?’
Rosie shook her head. ‘Thank you, sweetheart, but no,’ she said. ‘I know why you want to do this, and I’m deeply grateful.’
Looking Rosie in the face, Peggy blushed, ‘I never could hide the truth from you, could I?’
‘Not that I can remember.’ She met Peggy’s contrite gaze and her heart was warmed. ‘Like I said, Peggy, no one could have a better friend. But your place is with your mam, and you know it. Danny and me, we’ll manage well enough.’
‘I’m really worried about you, Rosie, especially now, when you say you and Doug are finished for good an’ all. You’re on your own, and it’s a cruel place out there for a woman on her own.’ There was genuine concern in her voice. ‘It’s going to be real hard.’
‘I know.’ In fact, Rosie was acutely aware of her desperate situation. A short time ago she was a married woman with a regular, if small income. Now, suddenly, she was on her own, with a child to care for and no man in her life. What with her meagre savings all gone, and the authorities dragging their feet to help out, the time had come to make serious decisions. The last thing she wanted was to receive her friend’s charity. Such a thing didn’t bear thinking about! ‘I intend getting a job,’ she announced proudly.
‘What about Danny? He can’t start school until next year, can he?’
‘I’ve thought about that.’ Rosie hesitated, not certain how Peggy would react. ‘And I’m going to ask your mam if she’ll mind him. I know he’ll be well taken care of, and I’ll pay her good money.’
Peggy was thrilled. ‘She’ll like that. She keeps on about how we’ll all be leaving home afore too long and nobody will want her then.’ She laughed aloud. ‘Honestly, the way she carries on at times, anybody would think she were headed for the rubbish tip.’
‘So, you really don’t think she’d mind me asking?’ Rosie was visibly relieved. ‘Only I wasn’t sure.’
‘What! She’ll bite your hand off!’
‘I’ll ask her first thing in the morning.’ Rosie felt as though she was once again in charge of her own destiny. ‘Then all I need to do is find a job.’ That would be the hardest thing because well-paid jobs without Saturday work were still hard to come by.
Sitting back in her chair, Peggy quietly regarded her. ‘Are you any good at figures?’ she asked.
All right, I suppose.’ Rosie was curious. ‘I managed to feed and clothe us all on what little I got from Doug. And I was never more than two weeks behind with the rent.’ She sat up, frowning. ‘Why?’
At first Peggy was coy. Rosie didn’t realise how lovely-looking she was. Once she was let out, men would fall over themselves to court her. Someone like Rosie could bring trouble on her own head without even realising it. ‘There’s a job going in the offices,’ she said reluctantly. As soon as the words were out, she regretted them. It would be ironic if Robert, the office manager, took a liking to Rosie.
Rosie’s brown eyes danced. ‘Oh, Peggy, do you honestly think I stand a chance?’ The idea of making her own way in the world was both daunting and exciting. ‘Won’t they want someone with experience? After all, it’s been a long time since I went out to work. And anyway, I’ve never worked in an office.’
‘You’re right. They may not want you. But then again, the job’s been vacant for a couple of weeks and, as I understand it, they haven’t found anyone suitable yet. I even considered going after it myself, but I’m hopeless at figures and wouldn’t know one end of a ledger from the other.’ She giggled. ‘Give me twenty-four hours and I’d have the whole place in chaos. The orders would be all wrong, and I’d be bound to get the sack.’ She looked at Rosie and saw a different kind of trouble ahead, but knew that nothing she could say would stop her friend now. ‘It’s up to you,’ she said. ‘If your mind’s made up, give it a try. What have you got to lose?’
While Peggy was talking, Rosie was thinking and now could hardly contain her excitement. ‘I’ve got nothing at all to lose,’ she said, suddenly pacing the floor and thinking aloud. ‘I do have a bit of experience because a couple of times I prepared Ned’s ledgers for the accountant. It was easy. All I did was copy some invoices into the book, and tot up the total at the end. But in a big store like Woolworths, there must be mountains of paperwork.’ Her courage began to waver. ‘Oh, Peggy! I’m so afraid something will go wrong… either I won’t land a job, or your mam won’t agree to have Danny.’
‘She’ll have him all right.’
‘If I don’t see her right now, I won’t sleep tonight.’ For the first time in years, Rosie was beginning to think of herself. It was a good feeling. ‘If she says yes, that will be the biggest obstacle overcome, because I wouldn’t dream of leaving Danny with anyone else.’
‘By God! You don’t let the grass grow under your feet, I’ll give you that.’
‘Will you mind Danny for a few minutes?’ Rosie didn’t want to take him with her. ‘I know he wouldn’t object to staying with your mam because he likes her a lot. But I won’t mention it to him until it’s all settled.’
‘Go on then.’ No sooner had she said it, than Rosie was out of the door and away down the street. ‘Me and my big mouth!’ Peggy chuckled. ‘If Robert takes a fancy to her, I’ve only myself to blame.’
Peggy’s mam was delighted. ‘’Course I’ll have the lad,’ she agreed. ‘And if you’re still at your job when he starts school, I’ll take him and fetch him home. It won’t be no trouble, luv.’ Her face beamed from ear to ear. ‘By! And here were I thinking me useful days were nearly over.’ A shadow crossed her face when Rosie reminded her that she hadn’t yet got a job.
‘Oh, but I will!’ she promised. ‘I’ll have work before the week’s out, you see if I don’t.’ Suddenly the whole world was opening up and nothing would stop her now.
Peggy wasn’t surprised to learn her mam had agreed to have Danny. ‘I told you she’d bite your hand off.’ Strangely subdued, she made her excuses and left soon after. Rosie noticed the change in her mood, but put it down to tiredness. After all, Danny could be a handful when he
put his mind to it.
After Peggy had gone, Rosie couldn’t settle. The idea of being responsible for her own life again, made her nervous. At the same time she was looking forward to it immensely. Strange how unforeseen circumstances can change a woman’s life overnight, she thought. When Doug was here, the idea of going out to work and leaving Danny with someone else was unnecessary and unthinkable. Then, when Martha came to live with them, Rosie became a prisoner. Now, because of a series of tragedies – Ned losing his business and deserting his wife, Martha’s death and Doug’s imprisonment – she was set free. Everything was changed forever.
Thinking of all that had happened, Rosie’s joy faded. Going to the back window, she watched her son at play. He was a fine boy, and yes, Doug had been right because, except for the colouring of his hair, Danny bore little resemblance to his father.
When emotion threatened to overwhelm her, Rosie launched into a fever of cleaning. She cleaned the cooker and washed the curtains. She scrubbed the kitchen floor, then, when Danny came in tired and hungry, set about making the evening meal.
When at last she sat down with him, weariness washed over her like a tide, seeming to take the last vestige of her energy. Watching the boy tuck into his fish-dabs and scallops, she envied him his appetite. For days now she had been unable to eat. She couldn’t recall the last time she had slept soundly, and though she knew the damage she was doing to herself, had seemed powerless to reverse the downward spiral. Now, though, when she began toying with the food on her plate, she was surprised and delighted to find that she was really hungry. She took one mouthful of fish, then another, and before she knew it, had finished the meal, leaving her plate as clean as Danny’s.
Rubbing his eyes, he climbed down from the table. ‘I think it’s time you were in your bed,’ Rosie told him. And he didn’t argue.
When he was washed and in his pyjamas, she took him by the hand and led him upstairs. Normally he would talk all the way, but tonight he was unusually quiet. ‘Where’s my little chatterbox then?’ she asked, tucking him into bed. She felt his forehead. There was no fever. ‘It’s all that fresh air made you tired, I expect,’ she surmised. ‘Peggy told me you played out all the time I was gone.’ Reaching out, she took his favourite teddy from the bedside cabinet and laid it beside him.
More Than Riches Page 25
