by Claire Fogel
I just nodded. There was nothing more to say.
Two days after Christmas I got in touch with Jeff Anderson, the contractor. He promised to review the plans for my studio to see if there would be an easy way to expand my living space. He said he’d call me back before I left for school.
I was spending part of every day in my studio working on more drawings and some watercolors for the next show up in Albany. At the same time, I was mentally designing my redesigned living space, trying to see what I’d need to add to make it more livable. I was hoping there would be enough space for the furniture I’d bought in Syracuse. I had a bed, a couch, an easy chair, and a TV to make room for. I thought it would be cozy rather than roomy, but I could make it work. I would just have to be happy with a smaller studio. Having a home of my own, no matter how small, felt like a step in the right direction.
I was beginning to feel like a grown up. Finally.
Kevin spent New Year’s Eve with us. We taught my dad to play poker; he was a natural. We played for pennies, and he cleaned us out.
After we watched the ball come down in Times Square, we drank champagne and apple cider with my parents, exchanged hugs and wished each other Happy New Year. Then they went to bed, leaving Kevin and me at the kitchen table.
He wanted to hear all about our plans for the Blackthorne Art Gallery. Well, that’s what I was calling it. Mr. Callahan had cast his vote for the Thornewood Art Gallery.
“It’s amazing, short stuff. Your own art gallery! Will you be showing the work of other artists as well?”
“Of course. I’m planning to send out invitations for submissions to several other art schools and colleges. I’ll bet I’ll find a lot of great new artists, some of them from Barrett.”
I smiled. “I’m also going to ask Francis Sullivan for one of his paintings for our gallery. Just one, which may never sell because his work is so expensive. But it will attract art buyers from the city, which will help us become known.”
Kevin nodded enthusiastically. “You’ve really given this a lot of thought.”
“Of course. The gallery is my future, Kev.”
His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “Cara, is that because Adam still hasn’t come back? I think you’re making this gallery your life because you don’t think you’ll ever love anyone again.”
“I know I won’t. He’s my mate. You know, even if he did come back some day, I think I’d be too angry with him to even speak to him!”
Kevin shook his head slowly. “Okay. Anger’s good. Nobody would blame you for being angry. But I know you’d forgive him.” He shrugged. “You’d have no choice, babe.”
I snorted. “We always have a choice, Kev.”
It was time to change the subject. We talked about his life at NYU. He had one more year after this one, and had decided to take a break after graduation.
“You know, I haven’t really had a life since I started NYU. Granted, that was partly my own fault, overestimating what I could handle without killing myself.” He snorted. “Won’t make that mistake again. But I think maybe I could take a year off, nothing but R&R for a while. Maybe on a beach somewhere.” His hazel eyes had a dreamy look.
He grinned. “With someone to rub oil on my back and mix up pitchers of Margaritas every afternoon. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”
I smiled. “For you, yeah, definitely. Send me a postcard, okay?”
“Hey, come with me! By next year, you’ll be a huge success and you’ll need some R&R. Don’t you like beaches?”
“Too much sand.”
“I’ll find a beach with trees, babe! Just pack your paint brushes and come with me. We’ll have fun!”
We were both laughing as Kevin finished off the last of the champagne. He was obviously feeling no pain.
“Kev, maybe I should drive you home. You probably shouldn’t drive, not even around the corner.”
“Nah, just lead me to my car. It knows the way.”
I walked him to his car and watched as he drove around the corner at no more than five miles per hour. I couldn’t help laughing. He could have walked faster.
I was still smiling as I walked back in the house, wondering why I’d gone outside without a coat. It was freezing!
The day before I left for Barrett, Jeff Anderson called to tell me what he proposed doing to enlarge the living space in my studio. He thought it made more sense to add on space to the front of the building rather than moving a wall.
“It will be more expensive but more structurally sound. If you want to proceed, we could get started by the beginning of February and finished by the end of that month. How does that sound?”
“Thanks, Jeff. That sounds great. Please put the job on your schedule and email me your cost estimate.”
If all went well, I would have my own home when I graduated from Barrett in May. Now I had to break the news to my parents.
Mom made Meat Loaf my last night at home, which put a big smile on my father’s face. I hoped they’d both be in a good mood when I told them my plans.
As usual, there were no leftovers, and Dad was definitely in a good mood.
I poured coffee for all of us and began telling them what I wanted to do to my studio.
Mom’s first objection, of course, was the expense of the additional construction work.
“My next art show is in Albany in February, Mom. I think I’ll sell enough of my work there to pay for the construction.”
“But you’re only nineteen, Cara. That’s so young to be moving out on your own.”
I had to smile at that statement. “Mom I’ll be twenty in a few months, and it’s not as if I was moving out of state. I’ll be right next door! Besides, I’ve been living on my own for the past two and a half years.”
My father looked as though he had no problem with my plans. “She’s right, Alicia. I’m delighted she’ll be next door, rather than farther away. Our daughter has grown up. You knew this day would come.”
Mom was actually tearing up, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin.
“But Brian, she’s my baby. Having her away at school has been hard enough. At least she’s home on the weekends.”
I was surprised how emotional Mom had become. This really wasn’t like her. She might get mad, but she didn’t often cry.
My father whispered something in her ear as he wrapped his arm around her.
She nodded, saying, “I know, I know.”
She looked up at me and tried to smile. “Of course you’re all grown up, Cara. But try to understand if you can. You’ve always been my little girl. You always will be. But if living next door in your own studio is what will make you happy, then I guess that’s what you should do.”
I gave a huge sigh of relief. Arguing with Mom was the last thing I wanted.
My father gave her a look, as if he thought she should say more.
Mom wiped her eyes again and smiled at me. “Sorry, dear. Most women do get over-emotional when they’re pregnant.”
Dad was grinning.
I leaped out of my chair! “Pregnant? When were you going to tell me? When’s the baby due? Holy cow! I’m going to have a little brother or a little sister. This is amazing! I’m so happy for you.” Now I was the one in tears.
Mom was beaming. “Honey, I wasn’t sure how to break the news to you. But you gave me the perfect opening. I’m so glad you’re happy. Your dad and I are beyond happy. The new little Blackthorne is due in July sometime. And since you’ll be right next door, maybe I’ll be able to talk you into babysitting once in a while.” She gave me a hopeful smile.
I had to hug both my parents, a lengthy three-way hug. This was the best news I’d had in years. Finally, something to be truly happy about.
My ever-practical mother had one more announcement to make: “Since you won’t be needing your bedroom much longer, dear, I can turn it into a nursery.”
They say timing is everything.
I drove back to Syracuse the next day in a much better mood. The kind
of good news I’d just received was a great pick-me-up. I sang along with the Beatles for two hours, belting out “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and “Love, Love Me Do”, and carefully avoiding “Yesterday.” I didn’t want anything raining on my parade today.
It started snowing while I was still on the road, but I kept right on singing.
By the time I pulled up in front of the yellow house on Birch Street, there were at least two inches of snow on the ground. I was glad I wouldn’t have to do any more driving this week. But that was before I got inside and checked my kitchen cupboards. I was down to two cans of soup and a box of cereal. No milk, of course.
I had two options. I could slog through the snow to the Café and eat all my meals there. Hmm. I thought about it for all of two minutes and decided to bite the bullet and go shopping. In the snow. At least I had snow tires.
Timing being everything, my phone began to ring. It was Aidan.
“Hi, Cara. How was your Christmas? Just get back today?”
“Yes, just got in. My Christmas was fairly quiet, but it ended really well. I have lots of news to share with you. And I’m afraid my cupboards are bare.”
He laughed. “Okay, first things first. I can get off early today, so this is a good day to go shopping. Maybe we could stop at Rudy’s for burgers first. You up for both?”
I said I was.
“Good. I’ll pick you up at four.”
When I opened the door to Aidan at four o’clock, I was struck again by what a good-looking man he was, even covered in snow. His light blue eyes sparkled as he grinned at me. “Happy New Year, Cara!”
“Hi, Aidan, Happy New Year.” I couldn’t help smiling. With snow in his hair and a smile on his face, he was almost irresistible. Almost.
“Let’s get the groceries out of the way first, okay? Then we can relax at Rudy’s.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Once seated at Rudy’s, we got our ordering out of the way, and then Aidan asked, “So let me hear your news. It must have been good because you sounded happy over the phone.”
I nodded, grinning at him. “Well, I spent most of my two weeks at home with my folks and painting in my studio. For some reason, I began thinking about expanding the studio to make the living space larger. I was thinking maybe it was time for me to move out of my mom’s house and live in my own space.”
I giggled. “Of course, my studio is next door, so it’s not exactly a big move.”
He smiled. “Sounds more like you’d be making a statement rather than actually moving away.”
“Yeah, exactly. So I called the contractor who built it for me and asked him to give me an estimate. We made our plans, and he’s going to start construction in February. Of course, I won’t actually be living there until I graduate from Barrett because all of my furniture is here.”
“How did your parents take it?”
“Well, Mom fussed a bit, but my dad agreed that I’m grown up enough to move out, as long as I’m not going far, and she agreed that I should do what makes me happy.
“Then, she dropped a bombshell, Aidan. Mom’s pregnant and she’ll need my bedroom for a nursery this summer!”
His eyebrows shot up. “What fantastic news! You’re going to be a big sister. I take it you’re happy about this.”
“Of course! I’ll have either a little sister or a little brother.” I couldn’t get the happy smile off my face. “I’m so happy for my parents. They’re totally thrilled, of course. After being separated for sixteen years, they’re finally making up for lost time.”
Then, of course, I had to explain why they’d been separated for sixteen years. By the time I’d told Aidan as much of the story as I could, we’d finished our burgers and were ready for dessert.
“I recommend the cheesecake if you still have room, Cara.”
I had room. Good news definitely deserved dessert, or so I told myself.
Over our dessert, I asked him what he’d done while I was away.
He smiled but hesitated for a few seconds. “Well, you’ll probably be surprised, but I’ve actually been dating.”
“Wow! Good for you. Tell me how that came about. You said you never met anyone at work, or through your job, so where did she come from?”
He was still smiling. “She’s a girl I went to school with. I haven’t seen her in close to ten years. We ran into each other while we were both out Christmas shopping. She’s teaching at the junior college here in Syracuse, was married, now divorced, no kids. We went for coffee and we’ve been dating for the past couple of weeks.” He was actually blushing.
I couldn’t help laughing. “She must be special, Aidan. You’re blushing!”
He looked up at me and smiled. “Well, time will tell, I guess. Now, how about you? Didn’t you see any of your old friends while you were home?”
“Oh, sure. Kevin and Amy are my two best friends. We go back to our kindergarten days. I spent time with both of them, but I felt I should avoid all our usual hangouts. I didn’t want to run into my ex-boyfriend.”
“I see. He’s the one you were talking about when you said you were cutting ties after Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah. He decided it would be better if I were completely out of his life. I couldn’t disagree. He deserves to be happy.”
“And you didn’t want to run into him over the holidays. So you stayed home.”
“Yep. If it hadn’t been for my parents’ great news, it would have been pretty depressing. But I’m feeling lots better now.”
He looked more serious and his voice was soft. “And the one who got away? The one you’re still in love with?”
I took a deep breath and looked away for a few seconds. Then I focused on Aidan. He sounded concerned.
“I try really hard not to think about him because it always hurts so much. But recently I guess I’ve changed. Now when I think about him, I feel angry. Still hurt, sure, but mad! He left without even saying goodbye, Aidan. Who does that?”
He nodded with a rueful smile. I could see that he understood my feelings.
“Well, when he does come back, give him hell, Cara.”
“What makes you think he’ll ever come back?”
He shook his head. I saw the affection in his eyes. “I can’t believe that any man would leave you willingly.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
There was another inch of snow on the ground when we left the restaurant. I was grateful I wasn’t the one driving.
Back on Birch Street, we unloaded the groceries from the trunk of his car, and hurried into the house. It was snowing more heavily now. I put on a pot of coffee as I put my groceries away. While it was heating, I slipped into my bedroom to get a small package out of my suitcase.
Aidan was sitting in the breakfast nook trying to brush the snow out of his fair hair.
I handed him the package. “Merry Christmas, Aidan.”
He looked startled. “You got me a gift? You shouldn’t have done that.” Then he grinned and pulled a long, thin package out of his pocket. “Merry Christmas, Cara.”
We both laughed. “Great minds and all that,” I said.
He unwrapped his package. It was one of the Elf drawings I had kept out of all the galleries. Melissa was featured, half hidden in the landscape, but she was more obvious than most of the Elves I had drawn, so I didn’t want to expose her to public view. I thought Aidan would enjoy this particular drawing.
He looked shocked. “Cara, this is too much. This would draw a pretty penny in any good gallery. It’s beautiful.”
“I want you to have it, Aidan. To be honest, I’ve never exhibited this drawing because I know the girl in this picture and she’s very shy. She wouldn’t want hundreds of people seeing it. In most of my pen and ink drawings, I’ve made the people far more subtle, harder to see. But I couldn’t seem to hide her well enough. I thought I could trust you with her.”
“I’m honored to have this.” He looked into my eyes. “Thank you.”
“Okay, now I�
��ll open mine. Hmm. Strange shape . . . unless it’s a paint brush!” I ripped the paper off to find a set of three paint brushes, beautiful sable brushes, all different sizes, probably the best brushes made.
“Aidan, you must be psychic. My old brushes are on their way out, and these are perfect. Sable brushes are the finest. Thank you. I really appreciate them.”
I got up and hugged him, dropping a kiss on his cheek.
He chuckled. “I don’t know the first thing about artist’s brushes, but I was told these were the kind most artists want. I’m glad you like them.”
We drank our coffee slowly as we digested dinner and the super-rich cheesecake, and then Aidan had to leave. I walked him to the door, gave him another hug, and he kissed me quickly before he ran out to his car. There was another inch of snow on the ground.
“Drive carefully,” I called out to him. He waved and got into his car, moving slowly down Birch Street. I thought I saw the tail end of a green van turn the corner. For some reason, that pleased me.
As I got ready for bed, I thought about something Aidan had said. “I can’t believe that any man would leave you willingly.”
It was such a sweet thing to say.
For the Albany Gallery art exhibit, I concentrated on pen and ink “Elf” drawings. Mr. Jourdan, owner of the gallery, had emailed me requesting them on behalf of one of his best customers.
Since I still had my sketches of the younger Elves who had posed for me a few years ago, I simply had to find ways to hide them in the landscapes I was drawing. Everything was covered in snow outside, so I made some of my drawings winter scenes, which I hadn’t done before. I hoped Mr. Jourdan’s customers would like them as much as the earlier drawings.
When I drove home one weekend to drop off the drawings to be framed, I was happy to see construction on my studio expansion had started.
Mom was excited to show me the baby clothes and paraphernalia she had begun buying. There were now boxes of Pampers and baby clothes stored in my bedroom. I would have to move out soon.
