by Chant, Zoe
“You saw what happened back there. I… thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I could defeat him. I should have known better.”
“…What were you trying to do?” Sheena picked up her knife and fork, and Fleance couldn’t help thinking that she was just trying to act normally. Like everyone did, when faced by hellhounds. Promising herself that if she just kept acting like nothing was wrong, her magical thinking would make the world a less scary place. “When you were fighting… You two were really going at it.” She trailed off, awkwardly.
“I thought I could force him to not hurt anyone anymore,” Fleance said. “Like Caine forced him to free us and leave Pine Valley. But I’m no alpha. I should have known it wouldn’t work.” The words felt like gravel in his throat. He ate a forkful of food without tasting it and washed it down with the wine. The menu hadn’t been joking about it being selected to compete with Rotorua’s pungent air; the wine was so strong he almost choked.
“It’s a bit overpowering, huh?” Sheena waited for him to stop coughing. “What do you mean, you could force him to stop hurting people? You mean using that… fear magic?” She shivered. “You’d need to constantly chase him around, herding him away from people.”
“Not exactly. I’d thought—” Fleance broke off. What had he thought? He’d been so set on coming here, but what had he really planned to do once he arrived?
I thought that just because I was free, I could take control of him like he did me. Force him to swear he’d never hurt anyone again.
No. That’s just what I told myself. His skin prickled as he looked out the window, across the steaming lake. You know what you came here to do, a voice in his head sneered. It wasn’t his own voice, or his hellhound’s. It sounded so much like his uncle, his fists clenched. You tried to tell yourself a story, but you knew all along what this would come to. Parker knew, too. And he knew you’d never go through with it.
You’re no alpha. You can’t command another hellhound. There’s only one way to stop Parker.
“You said Parker controlled the hellhounds in his pack, and you were in his pack. You’re so scared of what he might do to your new alpha’s children that you came all the way to the other side of the world to confront him. What—what did he do to you?”
The bond of light between them pulled at Fleance’s chest, as though she was trying to psychically draw him closer. If it wasn’t for the table between them, Fleance might have crumbled to temptation and let himself be drawn.
Then Sheena winced again and rubbed her leg, and that one reminder of how he’d failed to protect her gave Fleance the strength to hold back.
The scars on his neck itched in sympathy as Sheena clutched her leg. He stopped himself from scratching them; the last thing he wanted was to draw Sheena’s attention to them. Instead he sat up straight, hands clenched hidden under the table.
“I wasn’t some innocent victim. I was part of Parker’s pack for years. The first member of his pack. I already told you what Parker’s game is. Using his hellhound powers. Turning invisible, walking through walls, making people afraid just by our very presence—in his hands, those powers were weapons.” He flexed his own hand, staring at it as though he’d never seen it before. “Except he didn’t like to get his hands dirty. We were the ones who scared people. Who hunted them down and terrified them until they’d do anything to get out. And Parker was always there, waiting in the light with the contract and a pen ready for them to sign away everything they valued.”
He wasn’t looking at his hand anymore. He was looking into the past. Every painful moment of it. “He always made sure that while the worst of it was going down, he was seen somewhere else. So that even if someone did dare to mention they thought they were being followed by creatures that disappeared into thin air, or their homes and businesses were trashed but there was no sign of a break in, doors and windows still locked tight, people would think they were crazy. And if the authorities did think there was something to it, there wouldn’t be any proof Parker was involved. Not when he had been busy at a charity function or filming an interview about his not-for-profit work.” Bitterness tightened his throat. “He always got away with it. Whatever he wanted, he took.”
“And you couldn’t go to the authorities? Even here there are a few shifters in the police. They can’t put it in the official books, but they help when shifters are using their shapeshifting abilities to break the law.”
“Would they believe the rest of it? Even shifters have trouble accepting what we can do.” Fleance knew he sounded defeated. He felt defeated. Remembering his past was like pulling on an old coat that was perfectly worn into the shape of his body. He’d managed to shake it off for a few brief years, but now… “We could have shown people what we could do, but Parker had thought of that, too. He made sure we behaved. Forced us to keep our powers secret. And eventually…”
He looked down at his hands. “I want to say that I fought him all the way. But I didn’t. I told you I’m not blameless. I had more chance than any of the others to fight back, and I never acted. You need to know that. I’m no hero. That’s Caine, my alpha. I’m just…” His shoulders sank. “Here to try to do what’s right, for once in my life.”
When he forced himself to look at her, she didn’t look convinced. He took another mouthful of the paint-stripping wine and squared his shoulders. “I’ll explain from the beginning. Maybe then you’ll understand.”
“Maybe.” She looked troubled.
“When I was eighteen, my parents died in a car crash,” he began, and Sheena jerked.
“Jeez! I mean—sorry.” She stumbled over her words, but the swell of light down the mate bond told Fleance everything she wanted to say. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “It was a long time ago—”
“Still.”
“Still,” he echoed her. “Thank you. But that’s not—important. It’s just to set the scene, so that you understand what happens next.” As though his life was a screenplay, where every page of action made sense. He swallowed. “I’d just moved out of home. The last thing my parents and I did before I left for college was pack up all the shit in my room—my uncle was coming to stay while he was in town for business, and Dad joked that if he did his own laundry they might just keep him, and I could fend for myself over the break.
“I got the call in the middle of my first class. I hadn’t even unpacked my bags. There’d been an accident…”
He broke off. “I didn’t hear the details. Or I don’t remember. I still don’t know if anyone actually told me exactly what happened, or how, just… It didn’t matter, anyway. I couldn’t stop thinking about that last joke my Dad made. Then I was home again, and they were both dead, and the only reason I wasn’t left to fend for myself was that Uncle Angus was staying, after all. He managed all the—the legal stuff. I tried to go back to college, but I couldn’t cope. Mom and Dad had given up so much so I could get into a good school, and I couldn’t even finish my first year.”
“No one could blame you for that.”
“I could. I couldn’t not blame myself. What happened to my parents was so random, so unexplainable, I thought at least if I could blame myself for something I could have controlled, I’d…” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I thought. It felt like it made sense at the time.”
He should be angry at his past self, he knew that. But those days were the last he’d had as himself. He’d been young and stupid and thoughtless—and human.
Inside him, his hellhound shivered and whined softly.
“And at the same time as all that was happening… My uncle was there. No matter what was falling apart, he was there for me. Maybe I should have been more suspicious of that, but I was just glad to have anybody. I’d only met him a few times before. A couple of Thanksgivings, a summer holiday when I was in elementary school. Mom said he was always too busy with work to be around much, but he was the only family I had left and when he stepped in, I thought it was just because that
’s what family does.” Fleance paused. He’d never talked about any of this and now, it seemed too easy. The words kept coming, slipping out as thought they had a life of their own. “He arranged for my parents’ home to be sold, gave me a place to live in a new city, and… offered me a place in the family business. I didn’t even ask what the business was. I was sick of being sad and useless and—I wanted to show Uncle Angus that I was worth all the time he’d spent on me.”
“That makes sense,” Sheena said awkwardly. Her fingers tightened around his hand. “Awful sense, but—you were a kid and you’d just lost your parents. Of course you trusted him, of course you wanted him to stick around.”
“I would have done anything for him.” Fleance stared down at his plate without seeing it. “I told him so, and he said… he was glad to have me on board. I thought he was offering me a job. I told him I didn’t have any experience. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted to show him I could be useful. I was going to give college another go, get a degree in business studies, but…”
His uncle had gone along with it, that was the worst thing. He’d let Fleance fill his head with dreams, while he put his own plans in motion. And then the timer had run out.
“…that didn’t happen. My uncle took me out on a fishing trip one weekend, to this cabin way out in the woods. He said he had two days off before his next business deal, so I guess that’s why he didn’t waste any time. The moment we were out of the car, he shifted and attacked me.”
Clang!
Sheena dropped her wine glass. Red wine spilled over the table, but she barely noticed.
“He attacked you?” Her eyes opened wide. “Wait—we were talking about Parker. Your uncle isn’t…”
“Angus Parker. My mom’s brother. And my old alpha.”
He’d expected her to back away, but instead, she stood up so quickly she bumped the table. The wine bottle only just remained upright as she stumbled around and grabbed the front of Fleance’s shirt in both hands.
“You could have led with that, you know!” she exclaimed. “You—” She stretched out both hands flat against his chest, fingers wide, as though she was trying to hold his heart in place. “You…” she repeated, and a blush spread across her face. She dropped her hands. “Sorry,” she muttered, grabbing her chair and pulling it around the tiny table until it was jammed close against his, “but in my defense, you can’t just bloody say something like that! Parker is your uncle? And he treated you like that?”
Instead of backing away, she dropped into the chair, eyes fixed on his.
“Yes,” Fleance said, not sure whether his brain was falling behind his mouth or it was the other way around. Sheena swore and took his hand.
“Then I can guess that whatever happened next, isn’t good. He attacked you? Why?”
“He… wanted me to join the family business. His business. I told you he used his pack to do his dirty work. He started with me.”
“So he… let me get this straight. He attacked you to control your hellhound, and because he was an alpha and you weren’t, you had to do what he said?”
“No, he—” Fleance rubbed the scar on his neck reflexively. Sheena’s eyes tracked the motion and when she saw the marks on his neck, she went very still. “I already told you hellhound shifters aren’t born. They’re made. It’s like an infection,” he said, and deep inside him, his hellhound shivered with shame. “And Angus Parker turned that infection into a key business practice.”
“He… turned you? Your own uncle? You trusted him, and you’d just lost your parents, and—” Her face twisted, and she grabbed him by the shoulders. “He’s a monster. No wonder you came after him to protect your pack. I want to kill him myself!”
He gently eased her hands from his shoulders. Somehow, he didn’t quite manage to let them go. “I know I’m making myself sound like the victim. But I was the one who walked straight into Parker’s trap. And then I became part of the trap. Everything he did? Terrorizing people into leaving their homes, destroying their lives? That was me. I hurt people. And then, when Parker turned Rhys and Manu—”
“You must have tried to stop him,” Sheena protested.
“I didn’t. I couldn’t. I tried, when he started turning the others to add to his pack, but trying isn’t doing. There was nothing I could do to save any of us.” His muscles were so tense, Fleance felt as though he was encased in a suit of armor. “Everything Parker did, he managed because I was there to help him. I’m as culpable as he is. I couldn’t stop him then, I wasn’t strong enough, but even after my new alpha broke Parker’s control I didn’t do anything to put right the damage he caused. My hellhound…”
He dropped her hands. His hellhound hadn’t said a word since he said that being turned into a hellhound was like an infection. He could feel it listening, so intent it was shaking.
“…My hellhound has been having problems since last Christmas,” he said. “I thought at first that it was broken, somehow, that after everything else Parker had left me with a part of my soul that wanted to hurt people like he made me do. But I’m the broken one. I saw everything that Parker did and when I had the chance to finally put an end to it… I did nothing. I hid behind my new alpha and told myself I’d put the past behind me. Like it wasn’t anything to do with me anymore.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.” Sheena’s words struck the shell he’d constructed around himself like rocks. “You just said he forced you to do all those things. And he’s your uncle. You didn’t fail anyone. You weren’t hiding, you were recovering.” She tucked her hands into the too-long sleeves of her robe and scowled. “I was born too early. Some of my organs weren’t even finished growing. Which means I’ve been sick enough of my life to know that you have to be easy on yourself while you’re getting over bad stuff. My bad stuff was mostly my lungs, not my—”
“Not your soul.” Fleance didn’t mean to interrupt. He didn’t mean for the words to come out jagged-edged and bitter, either, but that didn’t stop them. “Being easy on myself didn’t help, it made it worse. And knowing there was nothing I could do doesn’t help. It didn’t stop my hellhound from attacking people to try and make them stop breaking the rules, because it spent so long unable to stop my uncle, and it doesn’t help…”
He stared at Sheena’s thigh, as though he could see through the fluffy bath robe to the bandaged bite marks beneath. Even if Parker couldn’t turn Sheena, he’d proved to Fleance how weak he still was in comparison to his uncle. “It didn’t help you. Parker is still hurting people, and after today, I can’t avoid the truth anymore. I know what I need to do.”
Sheena frowned. “Parker said you couldn’t control him because you’re not an alpha. Are you going to ask this guy Caine to come all the way here?”
“No. I’m going to kill Parker myself.”
6
Sheena
“You want to kill him?” Sheena was suddenly very glad they’d decided to eat at the hotel. The words came out far louder than she’d planned and that was not the sort of thing you wanted to say in a restaurant. “That’s… a bit dark. And illegal. Er, a lot illegal.”
I sound like the scared girlfriend in some B-grade action movie, she thought as the words leaped out of her mouth. Her heart was hammering. She wanted to tell herself that she’d misheard him, that this was all a mistake, but the expression on Fleance’s face left no room for her to lie to herself.
“I don’t want to do it. But I don’t see any other way out.” Fleance stared out over the lake. The sun had set and the city lights only just touched the steam rising from the water, giving the impression that there was something out there, wrapping itself around the town. Fleance’s expression became guarded. “When Caine took over from Parker, I thought that was it. New alpha, blank slate. But my hellhound won’t rest until I’ve done something about him.”
“Done something doesn’t have to mean murder, though,” Sheena said, and Fleance flinched.
“I have to make sure he’s no
t going to come back and hurt anyone. You’ve already seen what he did to your aunts. And… if I can’t stop him, I’m worried I won’t be able to stop my hellhound from being a danger to everyone around me.”
Sheena’s heart sank as Fleance told her what his hellhound had been like the last few months. Jumping at shadows, overreacting to the slightest misdemeanors.
“It stopped as soon as I connected the dots. Parker was the reason my hellhound was acting up. It couldn’t reach him, so it was transferring its need to put things right to anyone it could reach.” His mouth formed a grim line. “I didn’t like who I was under Parker’s control and I didn’t like who I was when my hellhound wanted to chase down every poor asshole who accidentally knocked someone over or—hell, pulled a dog’s tail. Any damn thing. I don’t like the idea of—what I have to do here, either, but I know it’s what I’m meant to do. Parker made sure of that when he made me what I am. Maybe once I’m done here… I’ll find peace.” Bitterness threaded through his voice.
Sheena shuffled her chair closer to his, wincing as her leg twinged. He hesitated as she leaned against his side, then put his arm around her, fast, as though he was afraid she’d move away.
He buried his face in her hair and breathed in deep. “And I’ll be protecting you, too. That is the right thing to do. Knowing you’re safe will bring me peace.”
“There has to be another way.” A knot formed in her stomach. Her fated mate couldn’t be a murderer. No matter how trapped Fleance felt, or how guilty he felt about what Parker had put him through—which was a whole other steaming pile of shit Sheena had to hold herself back from slamming her fist into—there had to be an alternative.
That’s not just me being sheltered, though, is it? After all, she’d never had to deal with anything like what Fleance had been through. She was a sheep shifter from a huge, overprotective family who’d gotten over the worst life had to throw at her before she could walk.
