“Just need to run to Target to pick up a few last-minute essentials. Almost everything is already purchased and in my luggage.”
Nodding, I do mental calculations over what of mine I can send him off with. “So, lets get to it. We’ll call Evan and Crissy…shit.”
“What?” Nick asks, alarmed.
“He’s leaving too. Right?”
“Yeah.”
“Crissy has to be getting this very same conversation and it’s…rough.”
Understanding dawns over his features; he nods and exhales a rough breath. “How can I make this easier for you?”
“Promise me to come back without a single scratch.”
“Done.”
“Also, I want souvenirs from wherever you are…” I run lazy circles over his chest “…don’t care what it is.”
“Deal. Anything else?” He presses closer, his cock rubbing against my thigh.
“Are we meeting with Evan and Crystal today?”
Pausing his violation of my leg, he nods. “Around three.”
“Then we have just over an hour before we need to go. Take me upstairs and…oh my God!” I laugh, looking at his sexy behind as he marches back to his room with my body thrown over his shoulder. The time we have left isn’t enough, but I plan to soak up as much of his warmth as I can. Burn these moments into my memories to carry me through.
To live is to love. To love is truly never letting go.
eleven
Grabbing the travel-size toiletries we bought at Target, I arrange them inside his new carrying case. It’s a bag full of compartments that my mother sent me for my trip to Europe over a year ago. Charcoal colored and spill proof, it’s meant to keep everything inside your bag protected from an accident.
The bag is useful and works; I can attest to that, and now it’s his.
Closing the zipper, I slip the bag between a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt he claims is a must for traveling up mountain terrain. That it’s a lot colder than one would think, or so he said when noticing the strange looks I gave him.
But aside from that short conversation, we’ve been silent, lost in thought as the hours continue to tick by.
Six hours. That’s all we have left.
His flight leaves tonight at nine, and we’re heading to the airport in North Charleston around four. It gives us just enough time to drop my things off at home, and then I can drive him back to catch his flight.
I’m losing him for six months.
I can’t stop myself from focusing on this. In just a few short hours, he’ll be gone after barely getting a few days in with him. A few days where he’s become my everything.
My heart is his. Will only ever be his.
“You know it’s okay to be upset, babe,” Nick says, pulling me from my thoughts. They bring me up short. “Being upset is normal…a human emotion that I expect you to experience.”
Am I being that transparent?
“Yes, you are.” He comes around to my side of the bed where I’ve been packing things for him. “Moreover, its okay to be. I hate the fact that I’m leaving…that I won’t be able to see this gorgeous smile—wake up with you in my arms.”
“Someone needs to be strong for the both of us.”
“Fuck that.” Nicholas half closes the luggage and practically throws it off the bed, spilling some of the contents within that I’ve been organizing for the past hour. “Let it out, Mimi. It’s okay.”
I’m looking at him with eyes wide, not knowing how to react. In all honesty, I’m afraid of the dam bursting and the emotions I’m fighting to keep at bay bursting forth.
“I’m okay.”
His eyes narrow, lips pursing at my blatant lie. “No, you’re not.”
“Just leave it—” is all I get out before I am airborne with the mattress meeting my back a few seconds later. He lies above me—body spread out over mine and his face serious. There’s concern in those hazel orbs, and a knot forms in my throat.
“Please don’t hide from me. The good and the bad, I will be here for it all.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Another lie.
There’s a grunt, this small noise of disappointment that comes from the back of his throat as he lets out a long exhale. He shifts, braces some of his weight on his elbows, and then brings his lips to mine. At once, warmth fills me. It’s everywhere. He is everywhere.
A clear reminder of what I’ll be without for months.
I hate it, but at the same time, I do admire his generosity. The need to help others.
And with the hate comes guilt.
People need him. Are counting on him.
This isn’t the end of us, but the beginning. I just need to wait for him. Six months is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
“How about you start with I love you, Nick, but this is all hitting me at once and I’m upset.”
“I love you, Nick…” There’s a knot in my throat, and I pause. Take a second to collect my thoughts while his eyes beseech me to talk. Tell him the truth and hide nothing. Problem is that once again I can’t function, especially with his lips on mine.
Just slow little sweeps across my mouth that break the hold on my emotions. My lips tremble against his, and tears gather at the edge of my eyes.
Goodbyes are hard, and he’s giving me a chance to let it all out while he’s here to hold me.
“I got you, baby. Let go,” he speaks low, just a whisper against my lips, and a sob rips from my chest. Nick flips us over, lays me over him while he swallows my cries. His hands sweep up and down my body as I bury my face in his neck. Breathe him in.
Those warm hands are running soothing little circles while I try my best to calm down.
For a while we just lie there and bask in the other’s warmth.
It helps. Soothes me.
It takes a while, but I do calm down enough to lift my head and look at him. His eyes are sad, and I hate it. Hate that I put that expression on his handsome face.
“This isn’t going to be easy, baby,” I whisper, nipping his bottom lip. “I’m going to miss you so freaking much.”
“I might not be here in the physical sense, but I’m leaving my heart with you. It’s yours.”
Nodding, I give him a small smile. “You have mine.”
“I’ll call you as soon as I land.”
“And email every chance you get. Let me know you are okay,” I add in. This is something I need.
“Agreed.” This time, he’s the one that bites. A gentle little nibble on my chin. “Plus, we can schedule a few Skype dates, depending on where I am. If the power grid wasn’t affected, we have satellite equipment that the company travels with. All personnel have access to it, but I must warn you that the reception sucks balls at times.”
A snort escapes, but I won’t deny that knowing I can see his face at times helps. A lot. “Letter, Skype, or smoke signal…all I need is to know you are okay.”
“Deal.”
We both know that we won’t talk every day, but the promise to communicate as much as possible does lessen the emptiness. We’ve talked, and I know that it’ll be hard depending on where he is. That it could easily be two weeks until he settles into the routine and his hours become manageable, but the gift of a promise means everything.
It’s something to hold on to.
Knowing he will try to reach me as often as possible is all the reassurance I need.
“I’m going to miss you,” he whispers against the top of my head. We’re standing just outside of the security line, hugging each other tight while the clock ticks down.
It’s real.
He’s leaving.
His flight’s on schedule, and Evan sent him a text fifteen minutes ago that he was on his way. Weird enough, I’ve only heard from Crystal once since we got the news, and that was only a brief text. All I got was:
This bullshit sucks. ☹ ~Crissy-Boo
That’s it. She hasn’t answered my reply or the few phone calls I’ve made sinc
e then.
“I love you.” If there’s anything that he takes with him—apart from my sleep shirt and the pair of baby-blue boy shorts he pilfered—it’s how deeply I care for him. With all my heart.
“You’re my everything, Mila.” Gentle fingers tip my face up; his eyes are warm and full of so much love. “There is no me without you anymore, and baby, I’ll be back. Please trust me on that…I will be back.”
“I do trust you. Trust us.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stand on the very tips of my toes and kiss his lips. Its chaste and sweet, until his tongue sweeps over my bottom lip asking for entry.
He fists my hair, grip tight while angling my head back a bit. Manipulating me to his liking while exploring very corner of my mouth. Passion burns between us like a volcanic eruption that wants to explode—destroy the world around it so it can uncover more. Taste more. Own more.
“Fuck, baby.” A growl passes over my lips while his hold on me tightens, his other hand digging into my hip. I can feel his desire for me against my midsection, and he is throbbing. Hard.
“I know…” my teeth bite down on his bottom lip, earning myself another hungry sound “…but we can’t. You have to get on that flight.”
“How am I supposed to just leave—”
“I’m coming to visit you for the weekend in a month.” His entire body freezes, while his lips curve into a smile at my promise. “Don’t know how or what date, but I’ll make it happen.”
“You’d do that for me?” There’s a tinge of amazement in his tone. At my nod, he gifts me the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Nick is serene for the first time since he got that call.
As if the worry—the weight he’s been carrying—has been lifted.
As if I’ve given him a billion dollars and solved world hunger all at once.
Silly man. “As soon as you tell me I can come down, I’ll be there. Promise.”
“Thank you,” he breathes out, dipping his head to taste me once more when a throat clears behind me. He lifts his head and then frowns. “You alone?”
“Yeah.” Evan’s solemn tone causes me to look back myself for confirmation. No Crystal.
I turn to face him; our eyes meet, and there’s regret there. “Where is she, Evan?”
“At home. Dropped her off before coming here.” That’s all he says before giving me a quick hug and walking through the security checkpoint and into the line. He doesn’t look back or acknowledge that we’re both standing there not understanding what the hell just happened.
“This doesn’t make sense,” Nick says after a while. Our moment passed, and now we’re both trying to make sense of things. “Have you spoken to her?”
“She’s not answering me.” Dread fills my stomach and I pull out my phone, shooting her a quick text. Just two words: call me.
“Maybe they already exchanged their goodbyes in private?”
“Maybe.” My phone pings, but it’s not a response from her, just another spam email offering me free enrollment to some fishy-looking dating site. There’s a vibration coming from the device in my hand, and I realize it’s an alarm. For him. “Crap.”
“What?”
“You’re going to be late if you don’t get in that line.”
“Fuck,” he hisses, face sad.
“I know.” Throwing myself at him, I hug him tight and whisper my love a final time before pulling back. Place enough space between us that he won’t be tempted to touch me. “Now go…” a knot forms and I swallow back tears “…go be my Hot Doctor Champ and save lives.”
There’s a lone figure standing on my porch as I pull up. They’re sitting on the step, head down and with the hoodie of a sweatshirt I will recognize anywhere over their head. To be honest, this doesn’t surprise me.
Stepping out after parking, I walk her way and pause just beside the step. “Want to tell me why you skipped the airport?”
“Not really.” Her voice is meek, her eyes cast down.
“Too bad.” At that, she looks up with tears in her eyes. “Did you guys fight? Want me to tell Nick to kick his ass?”
Crystal shakes her head. “This was all me. I metaphorically ran.”
“Ran? Evan said he took you home?”
“He did, but I checked out before that.” Crystal fiddles with a large take-out bag beside her. I recognize the label; it’s from our favorite Chinese place in town. “The moment he got the call, I shut down. Got scared.”
“So you hurt him, instead? What the—”
“No…yes…fuck, it wasn’t intentional, Mimi.” Suddenly, she stands and begins to pace in front of me. Her hands are shaking. “I told him that I love him. That I would wait for him, but I couldn’t see him off. I couldn’t say goodbye.”
“Oh, babe,” I whisper low, standing up and pulling her into a fierce hug. “Have you spoken to him after he left your house? Sent him a text?”
“Just a text.” Crystal pulls back and bends to pick up the bag with food. She walks up the stairs, and I follow, already taking my keys out. “I sent him an I’ll see you soon right before they were set to take off, which he replied to with a heart emoji and an eggplant to make me laugh.”
“So, things are okay-ish.”
“Just sad as fuck and missing him like crazy.” She passes me after I open the door, heading straight for my kitchen while I lock up. When I meet her there, Crissy is pulling out paper plates and placing them down beside two ice-cold beers on the island. “Sit.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Hopping up on the barstool, I grab my drink and pop the cap before taking a deep pull. The crisp apple taste explodes on my taste buds from my favorite hard cider. It gives me a moment to set my own misery aside and remind myself that Nick will be calling me in just a few hours. That this is one of those moments where I needed to rally around my girl and help her face this head-on. “Are we stuffing our faces or eating like birds? Cause let me tell you, all day I’ve barely managed a toast.”
“This situation calls for a serious case of pigging out.” Crystal pulls out container after container full of yumminess, setting them all in front of our seats. “Help yourself. It’ll be a long time before they land and we get a call.”
“Sleepover?” I ask, adding some fried rice to my plate. How will I sleep without him tonight?
As if she’s reading my mind, Crissy snorts. “More like an up-all-night while we wait like love-slash-worried-sick fools. This BS is going to be so hard.”
“Agreed.” Nodding, I pass her the container in my hand. “But they are worth it.”
“How many hours before they land in El Salvador?”
“This is going to be a long-ass night, babe, and it’s only day one.”
twelve
It’s been seven days since I left South Carolina, leaving more than just my heart behind. The hours merge into each other, time stopping its flow as chaos ignites all around me.
So much destruction.
So much loss of life.
And yet through all the craziness—the endless hours accompanied by haunting images—I can’t put her out of my mind. Mila remains my focus. My beacon of light inside these moments of darkness.
So far, we’ve squeezed in two phone conversations and the one FaceTime call when I landed in San Salvador. Between the rush of getting set up and traveling to San Miguel, communication has been limited.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” I growl low, my eyes taking in her sweet face after a few days of absence. This—seeing her—means everything to me. I’ve been here a few days now, and I miss her like crazy. Miss her soft lips and the smile she gave me after waking each morning in my arms.
“You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.” She lays the laptop at the end of the bed and then crawls into position in front of the screen. The way she moves—lithe and sensual—causes my cock to throb inside my scrubs. “I’m going to need a picture of you just like this, by the way.”
“Like what?”
“With a bare chest and in a pair of scr
ubs. It’s going to be my new screensaver.”
I give my hardness a quick squeeze, an action she doesn’t miss, and licks her lips. “Is that so? What do I get in return?”
“Me in your shirt and nothing else? No panties.”
“Motherfuck, sweetness. Are you trying to kill me?”
She laughs, a throaty little giggle that rushes through my body and settles on the engorged head of my dick. “Maybe?”
“I’ll make you pay for that when I get back.” The thought alone has me biting down on my bottom lip. It’s going to be a glorious sight.
“Holding you to that promise.” Mila winks at me, and then her face turns serious. “How’s it going over there? How bad, babe?”
“Crazy.” It’s the truth. Nothing else can describe the world I’m inhabiting at the moment. “The need is greater than we ever anticipated. So much of the city is under soot, and there’s been a few small earthquakes that caused structural destruction; people are still being pulled from underneath the rubble. Most of my patients here are being treated for ash inhalation—breathing problems.”
“You’re amazing,” she breathes out, the expression on her face a mixture of awe and pride.
“And I love you more than I thought was humanly possible.”
Swiping my finger across the screen of my phone, I pull up the last picture of her I captured. Mila doesn’t know this, but I took one while she was sleeping. Peaceful and warm, she was curled up against my side with her leg thrown over my hip.
My arm was around her shoulder, holding her close while her tiny hand laid over my heart. Capturing it on my phone had not been easy, but I managed a decent shot on selfie mode. From the angle, her face is serene and lips slightly parted. Sweet and soft, just how I love her.
And fuck, I do. Love her with a madness that makes every lick of sense to me now.
She’s my person.
The other half of my soul.
Suddenly and without warning, I fell for her. Moreover, while it’s her beauty that drew me in, it’s her warm heart that owns me. Mimi is everything I never knew I wanted and now can’t live without.
Back To You (Sweet, Safe, & Sexy AF Romances Book 2) Page 8
