A Rebel at Pennington’s

by Rachel Brimble

  Everything looked spectacular, which meant the cause of Esther’s persistent nerves could only be the worry of whether Lawrence would come and if lovely Rose would accompany him.

  Lovely Rose? Esther sighed. She could not look at Lawrence’s daughter that way. Neither should she constantly ponder Nathanial’s cheeky loveliness. Why had this beautiful family appeared so unexpectedly in her life? Of course, she’d like to think that one day she would fall in love and grow to trust her lover enough that marriage, a home and children lay on her horizon. But, for now, her work and commitment to the Cause superseded any intimate desires she might have.

  Yet, if or when love and a family appeared, she would model her parenting on her mother and use her father’s later attitude as a reminder that lives change, her children would change and with that should come parental understanding, patience and the ability to listen rather than merely judge and discard.

  Esther inhaled a shaky breath. Her commitment to the women’s movement provided safety from further heartbreak. If she allowed herself to muse about the kiss she’d shared with Lawrence, to daydream about a handsome, kind and intelligent man, then the distraction would most certainly destroy all her hard work. The passion that had emanated from him in that moment had taken her breath away, making her itch to explore the mystery within the portrait he unwittingly painted of a possible future.

  She’d once thought of children constantly. Wondering how and when she’d meet the man she would marry. When and how many children they would have. ‘An incurable romantic’ her father had often smiled at her. Incurable, and then ridiculous, as her involvement in the Cause gathered momentum and ferocity.

  Pulling back her shoulders, Esther shook off her regret and forced her mind to the evening ahead just as the soft scent of Elizabeth’s signature perfume drifted into her nostrils.

  Esther turned. ‘What do you think?’

  Her friend and employer stood beside her and narrowed her eyes, surveying the room. ‘It looks wonderful. Congratulations.’

  ‘Don’t congratulate me until we know the evening to be a success.’ Esther smiled, glad of Elizabeth’s approval. From this day forward, she would not allow another drop of doubt in her ability to worry Elizabeth.

  ‘How can it not? I’m expecting plenty of people here tonight, not just on the impetus to hear Mrs Hadley speak but also to see if we’ll reveal any titbits of what we have planned for the Coronation.’

  ‘You are really excited about the Coronation.’ Esther grinned. ‘I’ve never seen you so full of animated energy.’

  ‘I could say quite the same of you. You’ve had much more vitality and verve today when I’ve spotted you around the store. It pleases me that we’re approaching this with renewed creativity.’

  Esther’s stomach knotted. Her vitality and verve had not come just from the anticipation of the upcoming Coronation. She glanced at Elizabeth as she stared ahead. Should she tell her about kissing Lawrence? Her and Elizabeth’s friendship grew ever deeper and suddenly Esther really wanted to share news of her recent tryst.

  She lightly coughed. ‘I’ve something to tell you.’

  ‘Oh?’ Elizabeth turned, her eyes immediately filled with concern. ‘About the Coronation?’

  ‘No, about me.’

  Elizabeth’s gaze lit with avid interest as she smiled. ‘Well, judging by the way your eyes are sparkling, I’m guessing this is of a personal nature?’

  ‘Very.’ Esther looked about her and took Elizabeth’s elbow, urging her away from the hubbub going on around them. ‘Lawrence Culford and I shared a meal at The Orchard… a meal that ended in a kiss.’ Her traitorous smile broke, no doubt revealing every inch of her happiness.

  ‘Oh, Esther, that’s fabulous!’ Elizabeth grinned before she seemed to think again. ‘Isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, of course, it is. Even if I’m not entirely sure where things will go from here. I’m not even sure I want to pursue a relationship right now, but Lawrence… he makes me feel that maybe, just maybe, he would not stand in the way of my work or campaigning. He’s… a good man.’

  ‘Then stop questioning your time together and enjoy it.’ Elizabeth clutched Esther’s hand and squeezed. ‘Falling in love does not have to spell disaster for a woman, you know. This is your life. Your destiny. Don’t turn away from something that could be wonderful.’ She smiled. ‘I knew there was something about Mr Culford I liked.’

  Esther laughed and, as they turned, she fumbled to change the subject. Entirely unsure of her feelings for Lawrence, she wasn’t ready for them to talk at length about him. Standing back, she admired Elizabeth’s clothing. The dress she wore was a deep emerald green, enhancing her eyes to perfection, the neck low-cut and beaded. ‘You look beautiful. Is that dress one of Joseph’s?’

  ‘It is indeed.’ Elizabeth executed a semi-curtsey. ‘My husband’s talents continue to grow and astound me. If only he could find every happiness in his work as I do.’

  ‘Joseph is unhappy? I never would have believed it. He’s been at the store for well over a year now and his glove designs are a major success. Not to mention his innovation and influence over other departments and Pennington’s marketing. Joseph has established himself as your partner, personally and professionally. Surely he sees that?’

  ‘Oh, he does, but it’s not his work causing him unhappiness.’ Sadness darkened Elizabeth’s eyes. ‘But I can’t talk about this here.’

  ‘But you do want to talk about it?’

  ‘Unfortunately, I think I must. I’m no longer convinced I can carry this burden alone and still be as supportive to Joseph as I want to be.’ She looked left and right and lowered her voice. ‘Joseph is carrying a pain so deep, I’m afraid he’ll one day do something irreparable to heal it. And whatever that might be, he’ll still never get over what happened.’

  Esther touched her hand to Elizabeth’s. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’

  Elizabeth sighed. ‘Not at the moment, but there might come a day when Joseph and I need your help outside of the store.’

  ‘Can you not tell me what it is? I hate to think of you and Joseph suffering.’

  Elizabeth’s eyes turned glassy with unshed tears. ‘I will tell you, but not yet. It’s not my secret to share, but I hold hope that Joseph will come to see he can’t fix his trauma alone. Or even with my help. We need to enrol other people. Share ideas and skills. I fear we’ll never move on with our lives, start making plans for our personal futures, until Joseph finds peace.’ She shook her head and looked across the department and then stopped, a flush darkening her cheeks at whatever, or whomever, had caught her eye. ‘Speak of the devil.’

  Esther followed Elizabeth’s gaze to Joseph Carter as he directed a member of staff to realign the backboard banner displaying a picture of Grace’s book as well as her photograph.

  She glanced at Elizabeth. ‘If only all men could support women as Joseph does.’

  ‘The ones who don’t aren’t worth our time.’ Elizabeth faced her, her momentary expression of love replaced with businesslike sobriety. ‘You and I know to hold back women these days is a grave mistake, and one Pennington’s will not be making under any circumstances.’

  Previously, Elizabeth had made it clear that Pennington’s could not be seen to be supporting one women’s society over another. Could it be that the increased ferocity and uproar surrounding the Cause had ignited a deeper connection to women’s progression than Elizabeth might have previously felt? Esther glanced at her friend. To have Elizabeth’s agreement to promote the Bath Society chapter at Pennington’s would be a real advantage.

  She gently touched her friend’s arm. ‘Lawrence has offered to do something at The Phoenix in support of the Society. Holding an event right in the centre of the city would help the Bath group so much. I wonder…’

  Elizabeth frowned. ‘Yes?’

  ‘I wonder if maybe Pennington’s could help in some way, too? A sale maybe, with the proceeds going to help the Cause? Not new it
ems, of course, but items that have been languishing in the stores from previous seasons.’

  Elizabeth tilted her head to the side, her gaze showing her consideration. ‘I’ve stayed away from the movement in case we ostracised certain women, but as the fight grows in momentum, I no longer want my opinions and support hidden.’ She nodded and glanced towards Joseph again. ‘Once the Coronation is over, I’ll speak to Joseph about the vote and see if he has any ideas of how we can show support without pushing our views too harshly.’

  ‘Anything you can do to help would be so appreciated. Thank you.’

  ‘And, on that note, let’s get to work. There are people queuing outside the department and Grace is waiting in my office. I think it’s time to begin our evening, don’t you?’

  ‘Absolutely. Good luck.’

  ‘Luck has no place in Pennington’s, Esther. It’s action that counts.’

  As Elizabeth walked away, Esther’s mind mulled over her friend’s words. Action. Didn’t everything come down to that? Whatever happened next between her and Lawrence, whether personally or professionally, their kiss couldn’t be retracted. Maybe she’d been foolish to reciprocate his advances so passionately, but to do so was all she’d wanted in that moment. Today, however, she had to remain stalwart. If she allowed Lawrence, Rose and Nathanial to come anywhere near her heart, what then? To weaken would surely mean another heartbreak. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – expose herself to that risk.

  The tapping of shoes against the department’s floorboards and murmured voices broke Esther from her thoughts. She stepped back as the audience filed into the room. As expected, the crowd was predominantly female, but it pleased her to see a good number of men, too.

  She wandered to the back as the attendees were seated. Grace’s grand entrance would follow, along with a brief introduction from Elizabeth.

  The crowd thinned and so did Esther’s hope that Lawrence would attend.

  Ignoring the kick of disappointment in her heart, she focused on Grace Hadley as she entered the department ahead of Elizabeth. Tall, with copper-brown hair styled beneath a beribboned, burgundy hat exactly the same shade as her stylish ankle-length skirt and jacket, the bakery owner looked the epitome of female chic and success.

  Grace took to the platform, standing to the side and smiling at the audience as Elizabeth stepped to the small podium in the centre.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, it is my absolute pleasure to welcome you here this evening to what promises to be a wonderful and inspirational talk. Let me start by telling you a little of Grace Hadley’s journey after the loss of her husband, the coping mechanisms she employed to struggle from her grief and, of course, her ensuing business success.

  ‘Grace fell in love with Ernest Hadley when they were barely nineteen years old. She…’

  Whispered voices turned Esther’s head to the department entrance and, at the sight of Lawrence and Rose, Elizabeth’s voice faded into the background.

  Esther’s heart lifted, and her smile bloomed as Lawrence walked farther into the room, tipping her a wink as he steered Rose towards two seats a couple of rows from the back. Once seated, Rose turned and waved at Esther. She lifted her hand, fondness for the little girl twisting inside her.

  What could she do but fight the terrifying pull towards this family? She had to protect herself. She had to…

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mrs Grace Hadley.’

  Esther dragged her gaze from the back of Lawrence’s head and gave Mrs Hadley her full attention. Tonight was about inspiration. For both her and Rose. Maybe the little girl was too young to fully understand what she might learn, but maybe, one day, a nugget of Mrs Hadley’s wisdom would develop and make Rose shine brighter than she ever thought possible.

  That was what Esther wanted for Lawrence’s daughter and every other woman and girl present. A fair chance. An equal crack of the whip. Why couldn’t the government see women were as important and valuable to the success of the country as men were?

  Grace Hadley smiled at the audience and gripped the sides of the podium. ‘When my husband died, I thought my life over. Not only was he kind and considerate, but he also fervently believed in me. He gave me self-confidence, courage and support. I’m not even sure he was aware of how rare a man he was. A man I lost far, far too early.

  ‘My grief was debilitating. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I could barely get out of bed. All I wanted to do was lie under the blankets and blame God for all he had taken from me. A future with the man I loved… children. Alas, it was not to be.’

  Esther’s heart saddened for Mrs Hadley, her remembered grief clearly etched on her beautiful face, her eyes glassy under the department lights. Here was a woman who had known real heartbreak. The loss of the man she had loved with her entire being, and it was deep fear that Esther might love and lose one day that held her back from seeking a partner, a man to have beside her through good times and bad. Would that ever change?

  She looked towards Lawrence.

  He softly studied her and her cheeks warmed. The way he looked at her inferred he was equally moved by Mrs Hadley’s sadness. Esther looked away. He, too, was widowed. Had he and his wife once shared the same love that Grace Hadley spoke of?

  Shamed by the jolt of jealousy that shot through her, Esther walked to stand behind a pillar that blocked Lawrence’s sight of her but gave her full view of Mrs Hadley. A familiar sense of unworthiness knotted Esther’s stomach. If Lawrence understood Grace Hadley’s words and sorrow, then, he too, must have known deep and meaningful love with his wife.

  She would never be enough to compete with such a ghost. Would never be enough to be with a man who bore such longing for a person he’d lost. If she listened to her body and how it so treacherously reacted to Lawrence, her attraction to him would only end badly.

  She could not forgo everything she had built. Somehow, she had to find the strength to fight the temptation of Lawrence’s gaze and quash the yearning to see him again… to see his children again. The emotions he’d evoked in her proved her capable of feeling. Something she had doubted for so very long. Her meeting him had been worth that, at least.

  Esther ran her gaze over the assembled audience and then caught the eye of the one woman in the whole of Bath she had absolutely no wish to encounter and would never have an ounce of affinity with.

  Viola Stanbury.

  Her stepmother.

  Fourteen

  Lawrence applauded along with everyone else as Grace Hadley finished her talk. Anyone who’d clawed their way out of despair had his admiration and respect. The most important lesson he’d learned from his father’s physical, and his mother’s mental, cruelty was that everyone had a history. Everyone had parts to their lives no one else knew of or had the right to judge. Grace Hadley had found the courage to tell her story and reveal her emotional scars to anyone who wished to listen.

  If only he could be that brave…

  A smartly dressed man walked onto the platform and the audience quieted as he approached the podium. Whoever this man was, he held a unique authority, his stature tall and commanding. Was this Joseph Carter? The man recently married to Pennington’s heiress and whom Esther had spoken of so fondly?

  The man opened his arms, his smile wide. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Joseph Carter and, as co-manager of Pennington’s, I cannot thank you enough for being here tonight to hear Mrs Hadley speak. I am continually impressed with the strength of women in a world that is often seen as a male paradise. I’m married to the strongest, most influential and caring woman I know, and because of her and her experiences, I know there are other women who are capable of so much more than they’ve been given the chance to demonstrate. Please join me in a final round of applause for Mrs Hadley before she moves into the corridor to sign the copies of her book I suspect you’re dying to get your hands on.’

  Joseph Carter winked and a ripple of laughter filled the room. Lawrence smiled. Pennington’s co-manager certainly had an unarguable
charisma that Lawrence imagined went a big way to improving the store’s profits.

  Grace Hadley stepped forward and accepted a kiss to her cheek from Mr Carter and the room burst into applause. Lawrence clapped as he scanned the room looking for Esther just as he had for much of the evening.

  She was nowhere to be seen.

  He turned to Rose, her eyes glazed, and her brow furrowed as she stared at the now empty platform. Lawrence silently vowed to do all he could to ensure she became the woman she wanted to be. Whatever course Rose wished her life to follow, he would do his utmost to empower her with whatever she needed to succeed. Esther was right. It wasn’t enough to love and protect his children. If he didn’t do all he could to ensure Rose and Nathanial reached for the stars, he, their father, would be little more than their warden. The man who clipped their wings.

  He slipped his arm around his daughter’s slender shoulders. ‘Are you all right, darling?’

  ‘That lady was sad. Then happy.’

  Lawrence smiled. ‘She was. Quite a lady, wasn’t she?’

  ‘Yes. I like that she bakes cakes in her own shops. Not one, not two, but three.’ Her frown deepened as concern flashed in her eyes. ‘Will she find a new husband one day?’

  Startled by such an unexpected question, Lawrence’s throat tightened with disquiet for his daughter’s musings. ‘I don’t know. Do you think she should?’

  ‘She doesn’t have babies, so there’s no one to need a daddy, and…’ She looked to her dress and plucked at the skirt. ‘I’m only sometimes sad I don’t have a mummy. Maybe the lady can be happy on her own.’

  Lawrence’s heart lurched. ‘Do you want me to marry again someday?’

  Rose shrugged, her mouth pulled into a tight line as though stopping herself from elaborating further. He pulled her close and kissed her hair, inhaling his daughter’s soft sweetness. His children had been his life ever since Abigail had passed and he couldn’t help feeling he failed them by remaining unmarried. The first woman who had thoroughly moved him to feel again was Esther, but she was proudly independent, and he did not imagine she’d ever wish to be stepmother to his children… no matter her clear fondness for them.