His gaze softened further. ‘I saw Cornelia a couple of months ago, but it’s longer since I’ve seen Harriet. I’m glad Cornelia has brought my nephews. They are growing up so fast.’
‘And their father?’
‘Is a different story. One I intend getting to the bottom of. I will be paying David a visit tomorrow. So…’ His tone was soft, his gaze gentle on hers. ‘Do we have a chance to make one another happy? Because I am the man my father made me, Esther. The anger is the part of me I hide. The side to which I never wish Rose or Nathanial, Charles, Helen or Mrs Jackson to bear witness. You say you’re scared of losing your independence. I’m terrified of losing my pretence. But you…’ He inhaled. ‘You have a way of lessening my anger and making me feel entirely human. When I’m with you I’m a better man than anyone has made me before. Because of that, I want to live authentically for what could quite possibly be the first time in my life.’
Esther closed her eyes against the hope in his. Responsibility weighed heavy on her heart. He bore a pain so much deeper, so much rawer, than hers. Since she’d left home, there had been times when she’d barely held herself together. The last thing Lawrence needed was for another person he loved to fail him.
She opened her eyes. ‘You’ve had to live with so much more pain and heartache than I have, Lawrence. I just hope I have the strength to support you as I’d want to.’
‘Your father’s treatment of you was no less harsh. I left my family home and made something of myself through sheer will and determination, but I’m not arrogant enough to deny being a man made that easier than if Cornelia or Harriet had left. You’re wonderful and strong. A woman who wants to make a difference in the world and I want to be a part of that, right beside you. Let me show you, and you show me, that there’s more to life than protecting yourself and those you care about.’
She ran her gaze over his dark hair and beautiful smile. Want and the tiniest flicker of daring ignited deep in her chest.
‘Will you trust me, Esther?’
She stared into his eyes. How could she not? He had become so important to her. Had proven his strength and commitment to both her and his family. She wanted him and no longer wished to fight their possible happiness. She nodded. ‘Yes, I think I will.’
He stood and walked around the table, offering her his hand. ‘Then come with me.’
She glanced from his hand to his eyes. They burned with the hunger and desire she hadn’t been able to resist the last time he’d looked at her that way. Her body heated and her centre pulled, as his honesty dissolved all the apprehension and concern she’d had when she’d left his house days before. She picked up her purse, slid her hand into his.
Anticipation thrummed through her as they left the restaurant and entered the lobby. He led her past the reception to the lifts and she tightened her fingers around his. His gaze burned into her cheek, but she couldn’t look at him for fear he’d misinterpret her desire for nerves. She didn’t doubt her eyes were wide with what he could mistakenly assume to be unease. She didn’t doubt her trembling would make him hesitate if she didn’t get a hold of herself because she wanted their lovemaking to happen, if that was indeed what he intended. She suddenly wanted his hands on her skin. Him inside of her, deep and wanting.
Just the thought sent a pulsing between her legs and a tingling in her breasts. Never before had she desired a man this way. Never before had she felt more needed or beautiful. And never before had she thought of a man day and night or longed for him to be beside her.
Her passion, excitement and yearning for Lawrence pushed her to step into the lift. This was her decision. She was a modern woman. One in control of her choices and destiny.
His eyes met hers as the doors closed. He pressed a button and the lift shuddered to a stop. Alone and unwatched, he took her in his arms, pulling her firmly against his hard chest. The adoration and fire in his gaze melted the last of her anxiety and Esther softened in his embrace, lifting her mouth to his as he slowly closed his eyes and dipped his lips to hers.
The contact further fuelled her desire and she pressed closer, easing her tongue into his mouth. His grip tightened around her, pushing her breasts against his solidness, his erection rigid against her abdomen. She wanted to explore him. Touch and learn from his reactions.
Slowly, they parted and he brushed a stray curl from her brow. ‘Are you sure you want this?’
She smiled, having never been so sure of her heart. ‘Yes.’
‘I don’t want you to think I’m asking—’
‘You’re not.’ She shook her head, her stomach knotting. ‘I am.’
He kissed her again before restarting the lift and, when it stopped, he gripped her hand and they walked into the corridor.
Closed bedroom door after closed bedroom door stretched in either direction and her heart thundered as he walked forward, seemingly entirely sure of his destination. Was this madness? If she laid with him, would he then abandon her, his hunger satisfied?
She glanced at him, hating that her insecurities rose again. As much as she wanted to think herself grown and ready for such a big step, she should not risk regretting her first time, no matter how wonderful and sensual the man.
She tugged on his hand. ‘Lawrence, wait.’
He immediately halted. ‘What is it? Have you changed—’
‘Why do you have your own room here? You have a beautiful home. I see no need for you to have permanent access to a room unless—’ Heat crept into her cheeks as she glanced along the corridor. ‘Am I one of many women you’ve brought here for… for this?’
He trailed his fingers along her jaw to gently lift her chin. ‘I keep this room so I have somewhere to stay if I am hosting business late into the night. For when I hold parties for the staff at the end of each holiday. I keep this room…’ He brushed his lips over hers. ‘For nights when I’m so exhausted, so miserable and down that I cannot bear for Rose and Nathanial to see me that way.’
She studied him before her heart was eased by the sincerity in his eyes and the honesty of his words, but still she needed to be certain. ‘No women? Am I really to believe myself the first?’
‘Would it matter if I said you’re the first I’m petrified I’ll fall woefully low of her expectations. If I told you I have brought two women here in the last four years, but neither of them has mattered to me as much as you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, would you stay with me? Trust me?’
A jolt of jealousy shot through her before she staunchly quelled it. Lawrence was a passionate, virile man. Why would he not seek company elsewhere when he’d been alone for so long? Her heart swelled with confidence and – dare she think it – love.
‘Come.’ She pulled on his hand. ‘What is the room number?’
He smiled, and they walked along the cream and gold threaded carpet. Soft music drifted from one of the rooms they passed, from another came laughter and banter of what sounded to be a mid-afternoon party.
Excitement whispered through her as Esther contemplated whether there were others like her and Lawrence behind some of the closed doors. She couldn’t imagine another woman feeling so risqué and wanton. Yet, she hoped someone, somewhere, experienced the same thrill and exhilaration.
He stopped in front of one of the rooms and released her hand to pull a key from his inside jacket pocket. Esther glanced either way along the empty corridor, thankful no one was around. He pushed open the door and waved her inside ahead of him.
She entered, unable to drag her gaze from the thick cream drapes, edged in gold, the plush ivory carpet an endless pillow beneath her feet. Slowly, she walked around the circumference of the room, running her fingers over the oak furniture, the delicate lamps and tiny bowls of perfumed buds on every surface. She strolled to the window and stared at the street below. She was so high, the people looked like insects darting back and forth, trams and horses like tiny playthings.
‘Goodness.’ She turned, her smile so wide her cheeks ached. ‘It�
�s beautiful.’
‘So are you.’
He stole his hands onto her hips and Esther gripped his upper arms, her stomach pulling at the feel of hard muscle beneath her fingers. ‘So, what happens next?’
‘I make love to you.’
Happiness and anticipation whispered through her. Dropping her purse to the floor, she kissed him firmly and with every ounce of her desire.
With his mouth on hers, he gently guided her backwards until the bed bumped the back of her knees. She waited for the hesitation, the fear, but only delight and pleasure came.
Gently easing from his kiss, she lifted her hands and helped him to shrug out of his jacket. She then unknotted his tie and tossed it to the floor. Once she’d unbuttoned his shirt and hitched it from his trousers, raw craving pulsed through her, her nipples tightening as she pulled the shirt from his shoulders and moved her hands over his chest, scoring her fingers through a fine smattering of hair, lower over his ribs and hard stomach.
Silvery welts and scars shone at his upper arms and across his stomach and tears leapt into her eyes as she purposefully, gently, smoothed her fingers over them. Her heart ached for all he’d endured, yet he had fought back. Now, standing before her, was a decent and honourable man that she wanted with every part of her.
He quivered, releasing a low breath between clenched teeth.
Emboldened, Esther bent her head to his nipple and gently grazed it with her teeth. His fingers moved into her hair and he carefully plucked out the pins until the tresses fell heavy down her back.
She leaned back and he flipped the clasps on her jacket, revealing the silk blouse beneath. He kissed her, his thumb rubbing back and forth over her nipple until moisture gathered at her core. Insecurity threatened at the prospect she could be so easily malleable to his attentions, and she quickly pushed her doubts away and unbuttoned her blouse, drew it from her shoulders.
His gaze lingered over her brassiere. ‘My God, look at you.’
With their eyes locked, Esther removed the rest of her clothes, until she stood in only her underwear, erotic sensations coursing through her.
He gently eased her to the bed and lay down beside her. Torturous seconds passed, as his gaze feasted on every part of her stockinged legs, her silk drawers and breasts spilling over the cups of her brassiere. He expertly flicked open the front fastenings and cupped her bosom as he trailed kisses over her shoulders and upper arms.
Esther closed her eyes and rejoiced in his caresses, her body heating to these new and welcome sensations. Slowly, he eased back, and the rustle of clothes filled the room before his warmth enveloped her again. She breathed in the musky scent of him and tugged on his arm, inviting him closer.
‘Open your legs a little.’
She did as he bade even as her mouth drained dry. What would happen next, she had no idea and her body tensed with erotic anticipation.
His tongue had been the last thing she’d expected or imagined.
She sucked in a breath as warm wetness trailed from the top of her stockings, higher until he gently eased the leg of her drawers to one side and then…
She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut, curling her fingers into the bedspread. ‘Lawrence, you can’t. Don’t. I…’
Yet, she didn’t move away. Instead, she writhed against the firm pressure of his tongue as sensations throbbed and pulsed through her. His finger eased inside of her and Esther snapped her eyes open, her mouth dropping, too.
Deeper and harder the sensations built and, still, she didn’t move away from him. He slowly inched up her body, drowning her stomach and torso in nips and kisses.
She wanted more. Needed more.
A desperate moan escaped her, and she clamped her mouth closed for the shame and fear of it.
His fingers stopped their exquisite teasing, and he eased her drawers down her legs and over her feet. Her heart raced. There was only one thing left that could happen and her centre pulsed with wanting.
He entered her slowly and she closed her eyes, her body entirely ready.
This. This was what she wanted. Lawrence close. Closer than any man had been before.
Slowly, he inched inside her. A little more. A little more…
There was a shot of pain and then the brush of his pubic hair. He filled her completely. She released her breath as he moved within her and, after a few moments, she instinctively moved, too. He slipped his hands over her perspiring skin, cupped her breasts, pinching her nipples which amplified every sensation he awakened.
Harder, she pushed, and harder he thrust.
Until…
She gritted her teeth as she clenched around him.
A power like she’d never known rushed through her veins, causing a forceful climax that she’d never experienced alone.
His hands gripped her hips tighter, his fingers digging into the flesh.
‘Esther.’
His breath whispered over her breasts as he shuddered again and again, until at last he was spent. He lowered his head to her shoulder, the rapid beat of his heart banging against hers. She had no idea how long they stayed that way, in each other’s arms, their breaths fast and shallow.
Slowly, she regained her equilibrium and he slid gently away from her, grasping her hand tightly.
How was she to explain that she had just become entirely his? That – for her at least – they were joined. Possibly forever.
Tears threatened, and she fiercely blinked them back.
Now was not the time for doubt or to submit to the consummate fear that Lawrence would one day tire of her… Now was not the time to contemplate the risk of a babe being born in nine months’ time.
For now, she would bask in the pleasure he’d given her and nothing else.
Twenty-Eight
Lawrence studied Esther as she sat on the settee in his office, her brow furrowed and her clothes slightly rumpled as she flipped through his pages of plans for the auction in aid of women’s suffrage. His heart had yet to slow since their lovemaking. His gaze yet to be sated as he watched her.
She had been a virgin and trusted him enough to give him the honour of her first sexual encounter. He would guard the privilege with passion. Stay with her for as long as she wanted him. Whatever happened next, he would let Esther set the pace and lay down her conditions.
He was hers.
Smiling, she met his gaze where he sat in the armchair beside her. ‘These are wonderful, Lawrence. The Society will be absolutely thrilled.’
‘You’re pleased?’
‘Very. In fact, I can’t wait to get started. I wish I could do more to help right away, but with the Coronation looming and tomorrow night’s rally, it will be impossible for me to be involved until the end of the month.’
He slid the papers from her hand and pushed them onto the coffee table in front of them. Taking her hand, he pressed his lips to her knuckles. ‘Don’t worry about that at all. The girls are working on it and loving every minute, as far as I can tell.’ He inched closer and kissed her, relishing the soft warmth of her mouth and how her fingers lightly dug into his thigh. ‘You’re going to make me a changed man, Miss Stanbury.’
‘Am I really, Mr Culford?’ She eased back, her big hazel eyes twinkling. ‘Well, that makes me very happy.’
The knock at the door made Esther jump and Lawrence stood. He smiled in a bid to reassure her. ‘You have every right to be here. Remember that. Always.’ He took a few steps to the door and stopped. ‘Enter.’
William Moorebrook stepped into the room and visibly flinched when he saw Esther sitting on the settee. Lawrence bit back his smile as William’s gaze darted between Lawrence and Esther, two spots of colour appearing high on his cheeks.
Lawrence lifted his eyebrows. ‘What can I do for you, William? I didn’t know you were working today.’
‘I…’ He looked at Esther again before snapping his gaze to Lawrence and lifting his chin. ‘I wasn’t aware you had company, sir. As your secretary isn’t here and others
saw you come in here, I assumed you to be alone.’
Lawrence turned to Esther and held out his hand as she slowly rose. ‘This is Miss Esther Stanbury, William. Esther, this is my manager, William Moorebrook. Esther is the head dresser at Pennington’s and a suffragist. If you’ll remember, I told you I have plans to hold an auction in aid of the Cause at the hotel?’
‘I do, sir.’ William nodded at Esther. ‘Miss Stanbury.’
Esther returned his nod, her wide gaze illustrating her nerves. ‘Mr Moorebrooke.’
William faced Lawrence. ‘I think it best I speak with you later, sir. Shall I come to your office around four o’clock?’
‘Perfect. Clear your duties for an hour, if possible. I’ll bring you up to speed with mine and Miss Stanbury’s plans and then I must get back home.’
William’s cheeks darkened, his gaze shadowing with concern. ‘You’ve already decided to definitely go ahead with the auction?’
‘I have. Also, a ball near to Christmastime.’
‘A ball? For the Cause?’ William’s eyes widened, and he flitted another glance at Esther. ‘But, sir—’
‘An auction and a ball, William. These two things will go ahead with or without your help.’ Lawrence raised his eyebrows. Whatever his manager’s reservations about the events or even the Cause, the fundraising would happen. ‘Now, which is it to be?’
‘Well, with, sir. Of course.’
‘Good.’ Lawrence smiled and clamped his hand to his manager’s shoulder, steering him towards the door. ‘I look forward to sitting down with you at four.’
‘Yes, sir.’ William slid another glance at Esther, his eyes ever so slightly narrowed. ‘Four o’clock.’
He left the room and Lawrence firmly swung the door closed behind him. He turned to Esther and laughed. ‘Oh, dear. Did you see the poor man’s face? I wager he might take a little persuading to get on board with our plans, but I’ll bring him around.’
A Rebel at Pennington’s Page 20
