by Brent Miller
“That isn’t what this is about.”
“Yes, it is. I know you’re hurting about Chase, but part of it is that it was you who did it. I would have in your shoes.”
“You wouldn’t have been there.”
“If I were. I would have done it. I know the consequences, the suffering, if you didn’t. Look, Garrick, you’re a good guy. You deserve her. And I know things will work out. I just don’t like training with you both like this. But I’ll back off. As long as you promise to stop with the pity parties. And quit acting like you’re the scum of the Earth.”
“Okay,” Garrick accepted. Cailen was right, to an extent. Garrick would at least try to honor that request.
“Hey guys,” Hayden said, walking around the corner. Garrick turned to face her, but in an attempt to look natural, he placed a hand on the wall near Cailean’s head. As he did so, he leaned uncomfortably close to Cailean. Hayden gave him a questioning look, and he just nodded at her with a smile. “Brooke’s here. You ready?”
Chapter 18
Thirteen months ago
Garrick stood in front of Hayden’s door, working up the nerve to knock. When he thought he was ready, he placed his hand on the door, but was unable to force himself to knock. Frustrated, he leaned his head against the door. He could hear Hayden’s muffled footsteps on the other side of the door. Every day for the past week, he’d done this same thing, trying to finally talk to her with no success, and she had never known he was there.
This time was different, though. This time, he had the courage to lift his hand and bring it back down against the door. It was one simple knock, but he could hear her heartbeat speed up through the door, and he wondered whether it was from fear or excitement. When she opened the door, she was able to hide both of those emotions well.
“Hey, Garrick,” she greeted.
Overwhelmed with how much he’d missed her, Garrick pulled her into a hug, failing to keep up his resolve to avoid tears. She buried her face in his chest, sobbing as she kept muttering “I’m so sorry,” into his shirt. After a few minutes, when they let go of each other, she turned and walked inside, wiping tears from her face as she did. Garrick followed her, sitting on one end of the couch. Hayden sat awkwardly, her hands folded in her lap and her legs closed tightly around them, her eyes downcast.
Waiting for her to speak up, Garrick just stared at the coffee table in her living room. He could practically smell her anticipation. Clearly, she was unsettled – with no idea how to begin the conversation. If Garrick had any ideas himself, he would have broken the ice, but he was also at a loss. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs and sighing.
“What are you?” he finally muttered, looking toward her. Tears still pooled in her eyes, but the sobbing had died down as they sat in silence, so she was able to answer.
“I’m Hayden Faye. I’m the girl you fell in love with.”
“Except on a full moon.”
“One night a month, Garrick. That doesn’t change who I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
“Then why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I wanted to. But Aldric said it was safer for everyone if no one knew. Against his advice, I decided to tell you a little while back, but Cailean stopped me. You heard him trying to talk me out of telling you about werewolves, and everything just started spiraling.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have trusted you.”
“I should have told you,” she admitted.
“Yeah,” Garrick agreed quietly.
Again, both fell into silence. Garrick was relieved to at least get part of the concern off his chest. At first, he’d been unreasonably angry at her for what she was – as if it were her fault in any way – but he could feel himself moving past that. As for hiding it from him, he was hurt, but she was just trying to protect him. Garrick had long since forgiven her for that, because he was completely unable to hold a grudge.
“On the next full moon, will I be one?” He finally asked the question he had been terrified of.
“Yes,” she responded slowly after a brief sigh. She’d seen his scar one day and asked him about it. He’d come up with a weak excuse, but he had known it was completely unconvincing. Garrick just hadn’t been ready to talk about it, and he was not sure what it meant. Because their relationship was already strained, if not completely shattered, she hadn’t pressed for more information.
“We’ll help you. All of us, we’ve been through it,” Hayden empathized.
“Who?”
“Cailean, Brooke, Chase, and Aldric.”
“I don’t want anything to do with Cailean.”
“I know he is rough around the edges. But on the inside, he’s slightly less rough. I swear he grows on you. He can be a good guy, and he really cares about… his own.”
“About werewolves.”
“Yeah.”
“I love you, Hayden, and I trust you. I don’t trust them, but if you say they can help, I guess I don’t have a choice.” She took his hands and he turned to look at her.
“It’s going to be okay,” she comforted. “We’ll help you.”
“I’m going crazy,” Garrick complained. “I can’t listen to music; it’s always too loud. I feel like I can literally hear your heart beating right now. I can smell everything, and I’ve never seen more clearly in my life. It feels like I should like it, but I can’t handle it. It’s driving me insane. I hear every conversation in the hallway; smell every kid that doesn’t shower.”
He kept rambling as she shifted her position. She wrapped both of her hands around one of his and raised it to her chest, pressing his palm over her heart. As he felt her heartbeat, the rest of the world began to fade away, leaving only that one steady sound. His rambling drew steadily to a close, and his breathing slowed down. Eventually, the sound of her heart faded away, and for the first time in weeks, there was silence.
“It’s okay,” she consoled. “The first week is always the hardest. It gets easier after the first change.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “For the past two weeks.”
“I’m sorry for everything. But it’s in the past – no more secrets. I love you, Garrick.”
“I love you too.” He leaned his head against her chest. Without the strange new sensations of enhanced hearing, he was still able to hear her heart beat steadily. In that moment, that was the single most comforting sound to Garrick. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.
Present
21 Days until the Full Moon
“Okay, Cailean,” Garrick began, “my mom gave me an update this morning, and it sounds like the search is really intensifying.”
“That’s good.”
“How?”
“It’s their last effort. Any leads will become cold soon, and this will be another unsolved runaway case. It’s sad, but that’s how this is going to work.”
“Okay,” Garrick muttered. Understandably, that was helpful to him, but he hated that it was ‘good’.
“Don’t worry, I still have a few tips for today.”
“Right, and what would those be?”
“We’ve focused a lot on what you do, but what you say can be just as important.”
“That seems like a given.”
“So, I know you and Hayden were on a break, but I want to hear about this dinner date with the hunter.”
“Can we please not do this?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Should we avoid any topics which make you sad or uncomfortable? Do you not realize what they’re going to ask you? They don’t care about colors or the beach, Garrick. It’s going to hurt.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. Let’s do it.”
“Okay, so when was it?”
“The twentieth of last month. It was a Friday at 6:00 PM. She made pasta.”
“That’s the first issue. That was far too specific. Not only do you remember the exact day and time, but you started answering questions I didn’t even ask. If you give too many d
etails in a lie, you’re just leaving yourself open to trip over it later – and you usually don’t remember every intricate detail of a true story. Of course, you can’t give too little detail, either. Just answer what I ask, and nothing extra.”
“Right.”
“So why were you with her when you should have been trying to work things out with Hayden?”
“I swear, it wasn’t supposed to be anything but a friendly hang-out or whatever. She just took it to mean more than it was. That’s why I invited Tyler, to cool the situation down a bit.” Garrick felt like everything he’d learned over the past few days had fled his mind in that instant. When the topic actually became something he felt strongly about, he broke down and just tried to defend himself.
“Where to start? Well, saying things like ‘I swear’ implies guilt. You shouldn’t have to constantly assert that you’re telling the truth, and it’s a way of avoiding a simple and direct answer. Even now, when I’m certain you were telling the truth, it screams to me that you feel guilty about it. Also, you gave me more information than I asked for again, and maybe even more than I knew, so that is simply sloppy. That just opens up more questions, and you don’t want the conversation to last any longer than it has to.”
“Yeah,” Garrick admitted. “I guess I lost my cool a bit there.”
“You did,” Cailean agreed. “This is when it gets hard – especially for you - but your emotions have to take a back seat.”
“So I just pretend I don’t feel anything?”
“If that’s what it takes,” Cailean pondered. “But you don’t want to be cold either.”
Garrick wasn’t convinced he would ever get questioned again, and the entire drill started to feel pointless, but he knew he couldn’t give up on being prepared. Things could only get significantly worse if he wasn’t ready. He had to be able to convince his mom of his innocence, or, as Cailean explained, far more people would pay the price.
“So, what happened to Chase?”
“I don’t know,” Garrick said, as calmly as he could.
“You aren’t concerned about him?”
“Of course I am.”
“Well, it looks like you were the last person he talked to. He said he was camping.”
“He never showed up. I assumed his parents just didn’t let him go, and we didn’t get service out there.”
“Has that ever happened before?”
“No. But I didn’t have any reason to think he’d run away, so that was just where my mind went.”
“Okay, just stop,” Cailean groaned. “You sound like a sociopath.”
“What?” Garrick asked.
“Your friend is missing. He has been for days. You’re scared – you wonder if he’s okay.”
“You told me to act like I don’t have emotions.”
“Well, I take that back. This is not at all what I meant. Because that was legitimately terrifying. If you went in talking like that, they’d stop assuming that he ran away and start to assume you murdered him.”
As soon as Cailean said that, the air in the room changed. There was an awkward silence that just lingered for a moment, and Garrick’s shoulders dropped as his eyes fell to the floor. Cailean got caught up in the moment, and he must have forgotten what they were talking about, and the fact that that was actually what had happened.
“Not that you did.”
“I get it,” Garrick responded sadly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Let’s move on. Don’t act like a sociopath, point taken.”
“We’re going to learn a few throws today. It is by far preferable that you don’t get close enough to use them, but we must prepare for the worst,” Aldric explained to the pack.
“Where did you acquire this array of knowledge?” Tyler inquired. Clearly feeling awkward about asking a question out of turn, he added, “I’m curious because it’s apparent you have experience in martial arts, but I can’t determine which one.”
After the others had arrived, they’d all gathered in the basement for more instruction from their alpha. Aldric had been training Garrick since he became a wolf, but Garrick had never actually questioned where he learned everything that he knew. Since it had never come up in conversation, Garrick had just assumed it was knowledge passed down through the family – but Aldric’s family wasn’t something he talked much about either.
Garrick should have assumed that Aldric was using some form of martial art, but of course it was Tyler who would look into it. He had probably spent hours reading everything he could or watching old tapes as he tried to find anything similar to the techniques which Aldric used.
The rest of the pack looked around at each other, everyone wondering if any of the others knew – or had even thought to ask. Even Cailean shrugged when Garrick looked at him for an answer.
“Oh,” Aldric paused. “I suppose that’s never come up. I’m a seventh degree black belt in Tang Soo Do. I also have various degrees of black belts in Shotokan Karate, Judo, Jiu-Jitsu, Taekwondo, and I have experience boxing and kickboxing.”
Not for the first time, Garrick pondered just how old Aldric actually was. While he didn’t look older than thirty – which was already impossible – it must have taken years to earn all those belts, and more training than one lifetime could accommodate. Then again, if he were as dedicated to his own learning as the pack was to Aldric’s teachings, maybe it wouldn’t have taken as long as Garrick assumed.
“From that, you’re instructing us on pieces of each in order to adequately prepare for any situation,” Tyler surmised.
“Indeed. I have, in a sense, crafted my own fighting style; one which I feel suits the needs of a werewolf.”
“That is so awesome,” Cailean enthused. Aldric smiled. Garrick knew that his interest wasn’t to impress the pack, but any father would be overjoyed to see their son so proud of him.
“So, are we ready?” Aldric asked, pulling himself and the pack back to the task at hand.
“Yes, sir,” Garrick quickly responded. The others nodded or verbalized their agreement.
“Okay, pair up,” Aldric ordered. “As I mentioned, we’re practicing throws today, so I want us to pair up differently. Tyler, you’re with me. Brooke, you’re with Cailean, and Garrick and Hayden.”
Though confused, Garrick opted not to say anything. The last thing he wanted was to give the impression that he didn’t want to work with Hayden – even if he didn’t. There was a part of him, though, that wanted to express his concern with this idea.
“I want to give everyone experience throwing someone heavier than yourself,” Aldric explained. “As for Garrick and Cailean, you two can trade off with Tyler throughout practice.”
Although Garrick still wasn’t ecstatic about the idea, he knew it was a wise decision. He and Cailean would just naturally weigh more than Brooke and Hayden, and Aldric’s sheer muscle mass easily made him outweigh the teenagers.
After Aldric explained the technique and demonstrated a few throws on Cailean, Garrick stood next to Hayden on a mat. Exhaling slowly, he wondered if there was anything he should say to try to ease the tension. Instead, he just focused on training.
“Do you want to go first?” Garrick offered.
“I’d love to,” she smiled. Garrick grabbed her wrist firmly, but she quickly turned and threw him over her shoulder, slamming him into the floor. With as much force as she packed into the throw, Garrick was positive he broke something as he landed. He stood up, giving his bones a second to heal.
“That was good,” he encouraged, the pain evident in his voice.
“Yeah,” she responded with a smile. He turned her around and grabbed her from the back, wrapping both of his arms tightly around her. She slammed her heel down on his foot, breaking his toe, then broke free of his grasp. Again, she threw him over her shoulder and onto the floor. He groaned as he got up, and she laughed at him.
“Is this funny to you?” he asked as he popped his shoulder back into place.
&nbs
p; “Not necessarily funny. Cathartic,” she smirked. He was happy to see her smiling, even if it was at his expense. If this was the therapy she needed, he was more than glad to take the pain. She grabbed his wrist. Though he was able to break free from the grasp, he hesitated with the throw. He didn’t want to hurt her – and he’d get his practice with Aldric anyway.
Hayden took the opportunity presented by his brief pause. She dove forward and locked him in a tight embrace in an attempt to knock him down, but he kept his balance and broke out of her grab. As he broke free, her balance faltered, and she stumbled to the ground. Garrick reached down to help her up, and she pulled his arm, tugging him toward her. He fell toward her, landing on his knees, his face inches from hers.
They both breathed heavily, and he looked longingly into her eyes. He wanted more than anything in that moment to kiss her, but he knew that she wasn’t ready for that. It was a hard moment to break – for both of them – but he could see in her eyes that she hadn’t forgiven him yet. She let go of his arm and looked away, and he took that as a sign to get up.
“I don’t know where he is,” Garrick cried. His voice betrayed the pain that he felt, but he tried the best he could to maintain his composure. “I haven’t talked to him since he left.”
“When did you talk to him last?”
“He was supposed to go camping with us. He never showed up.”
“To the best of my understanding, you all camped together a lot. Has he ever not shown up before?”
“No, this was the first time.”
“And that didn’t seem suspicious?”
“Not really. I just figured his parents changed their minds. It was a school night.”
“I suppose.”
“I’m sorry,” Garrick added, tears welling up in his eyes. “I wish I knew more.”
“If he didn’t show up, Garrick, why does the last message that he ever sent say that he would?”
“I don’t know,” Garrick responded, his voice cracking.
“As a matter of fact, it looked like you two were talking about this for a long time.”
