by Brent Miller
No. It couldn’t. There was absolutely no way that everyone could be happy. If he was right, and he found whatever the link was, he might think it would be beneficial to hang around Garrick even when he was transformed. Maybe he could find something else that they could use. Garrick couldn’t allow that to happen. He wasn’t confident that his wolf wouldn’t hurt Tyler, and he knew some of the others would.
If he was wrong, they were just getting their hopes up for nothing. Aldric, who seemed to know most everything there was to know about werewolves, claimed that Garrick’s attempts were futile. It was probably time to just admit he was right.
Tyler had witnessed all of them turn, and he had witnessed a fight within the pack. The only thing that kept him from getting scratched when Garrick had pushed him away was mere chance. Tyler was getting too close to everything.
“No,” Garrick finally muttered, making his decision and shaking his head. Whatever it was that Tyler had to say, he wasn’t going to listen. He couldn’t. For Tyler’s sake, he had to make sure that his friend didn’t try to help him anymore. It was just putting him in danger, and it wasn’t even worthwhile. Nothing had worked, and Garrick was starting to believe nothing would.
The wolf was its own separate entity, isolated from him, and he couldn’t ignore that fact anymore. All he could do was allow it to have its time when the moon was full, and Garrick would be himself for the rest of his life. That was the realization Aldric had come to and tried to share with him, and Garrick finally knew that was the way it had to be.
“What?” Tyler stuttered, clearly shocked.
“We’re done with all of this,” Garrick replied sadly. “Aldric told me it’s impossible, and he’s right.”
“No, this is too close,” Tyler argued, rising to his feet. “I didn’t risk my life bringing you out here to watch you throw away your chance at humanity.”
Tyler’s voice grew louder, gaining conviction as he spoke. Garrick was still crouched to the ground, leaning against the tree. His eyes were downcast; he couldn’t bear to look at Tyler. After countless hours of research, trying to help his best friend, he was being told that it was pointless. Garrick knew exactly how that felt, because Aldric had done the same to him.
This, however, was worse. It wasn’t coming from someone who was expected to say something so harsh. This was Garrick telling his best friend that everything he’d worked for was completely useless – telling him to give up.
“That’s the problem,” Garrick replied calmly. “You came out here because I let you get too close to this curse. You almost died because of me.”
“This is my choice,” Tyler snapped. “I chose to assist you, regardless of consequence.”
And I want to help you, Garrick thought. Even more than that – he wanted to save him.
“I don’t want your help,” he finally responded, fighting back tears in his own eyes. “It isn’t worth the price.”
Garrick lifted his eyes as he spoke, and he saw the complete shock and betrayal in Tyler’s face. He stood and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to collect his thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” he explained. “I just can’t lose another friend because of my attempts to change what happened to me. It’s useless, we both know it. There are no documented cases of someone being in control of the wolf.”
“None Aldric knew of,” Tyler countered.
“There aren’t even rumors in the books. There are all of these different ideas on how, but no one can actually claim that they work.”
“To offer personal testimony would be to paint a target on their back,” Tyler argued. He was right; no one could silently publish a book, so the hunters would be able to trace them back. Everything had to be intentionally vague.
Garrick didn’t say anything for a long time. Though he was desperate to know Tyler’s newest idea, he couldn’t give his friend that hope. He had to cut off his connection to that part of Garrick’s world entirely, or he’d just continue to get put in danger. Already he’d been attacked by hunters, then the other wolves. Garrick couldn’t let Tyler keep going through that for him.
“It can’t work,” Garrick muttered. “The wolf and I are just not the same. It’s a monster. You can’t control a monster. You just have to contain it the best you can.”
“And the best you can –” Tyler started.
“Is to let it out on the full moons,” Garrick interrupted. “To give it one night and to not let it rule the rest of my life. I don’t want this to be what I think about every minute of every day anymore, and I don’t want that for you either. You’re my friend, Tyler, you deserve better than that. You have an actual chance to be human. Please, take it.”
He turned and started walking.
“Is he okay?” Hayden asked as Garrick walked toward her.
“Now he is,” Garrick sighed.
“What happened?” she pressed. “Do you remember?”
“We defended him.” The wolves had been more human than Garrick had ever been. Maybe that was what was scaring him so much. The wolf – what Garrick thought of as a monster – was ready to die protecting Tyler – and he wasn’t. He let Tyler spend all of his time getting involved in the world of werewolves. It was Garrick’s fault that Tyler was in the training sessions and in the woods when the hunters attacked. Garrick decided to take a page from the monster’s book. He had to do whatever it took to protect his friend.
Hayden hugged him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and burying her face in his chest, relieved to know that Tyler was safe. He’d grown close with everyone in the pack. Even Cailean had started to treat Tyler better. It would have crushed all of them to have lost him, especially with the loss of Chase still weighing on them so heavily.
“I told him that we aren’t going to keep trying to control it,” Garrick sighed. He was talking mostly to Hayden, but he made sure he spoke loud enough for Aldric to hear.
Aldric nodded and walked over to Garrick. Remaining silent, he placed a hand on Garrick’s shoulder. Garrick could see a certain level of sadness in Aldric’s eyes, but it was mixed with a sense of understanding. No, not just understanding, but empathy.
“You did the right thing,” he offered. “We’ve pulled him in too far.”
“I know.”
“Weren’t you close to something, though?” Hayden asked.
“Maybe. I thought we’d found a way to stop the change. Tyler explained everything to me right before the eclipse, but I lost track of time, and he had to help me get here. That’s why he was stuck out here. I can’t keep trying to fight this. I have to stop fighting a losing battle and try to just focus on keeping the people I care about safe.”
Even Cailean was solemn. He leaned against a tree, his arm wrapped around Brooke. Garrick hadn’t told all of them how hard he and Tyler were looking for a cure, but they all knew it was occupying at least a large portion of his time. Hayden was the only one that knew it took every minute that he didn’t devote to her or training.
Garrick knew that there was nothing he could do to fight the beast; it was a waste of his efforts to even try. Instead of wasting his time learning to be a human every single day, he was going to have to focus on being one as often as he could. As he looked around at the people with whom he shared his life, and as he thought about having time to actually spend with Tyler without the concern of wolves, he decided he was okay with that.
After a slightly awkward ride home with Tyler, Garrick sat on his bed. Though he was upset, his friend seemed to accept that Garrick didn’t want his help anymore. Soon enough, he’d get over the pain and everything would be back to normal. Still, he completely understood Tyler’s frustration. Garrick had forced him to stop what he’d been working on every waking minute for over a month, and there was no resolution.
He still wondered if he had made the right choice. He could have at least tried the one last thing before giving up. It would have made Tyler being put in danger not entirely useless. Instead, by not hearing hi
m out, Garrick had made it exactly that: a useless sacrifice.
Garrick decided he had to go for a walk to clear his mind. In an attempt to find somewhere comforting, he started making his way toward the woods. If the hunters were still waiting, he’d probably be able to outrun them, but he couldn’t imagine that they just have people constantly scanning the woods for his face.
When he passed by Hayden’s house, he knocked on her door. She always had a way of calming him and putting things into perspective. Maybe she would be wise enough to help him sort through his broken thoughts. Her mom opened the door and called for her. Shortly after, she came downstairs wearing jeans and the same shirt he’d given her a little over an hour ago.
“Want to go for a walk?” he offered.
“Sure,” she shrugged. Quickly, she put shoes on and followed him outside. The two of them were silent for quite a while, but when they approached the edge of the woods, he finally spoke up.
“I think we should find somewhere else to go,” he told her. The two of them had found a hidden area in the woods covered by enough branches that most people wouldn’t try to get through. Hayden, though, had decided she was curious a few months back, wanting to see what was on the other side of the shrubs. She’d climbed through, not without getting a fair share of cuts from the branches and thorns, and then found a small alcove in the trees. Since then, she and Garrick had taken to going there when they wanted to be alone. It was a peaceful place, and the two of them could spend hours sitting and talking, confident no one would find them
“No way,” she argued. “The hunters are probably gone. And they aren’t keeping me from our place.”
Garrick nodded reluctantly. It didn’t seem like a good idea to venture into the woods, but he wasn’t ready to give it up either. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was putting her in danger just so he could walk through the woods and admire the trees though. Was she another victim of his selfishness and carelessness?
Even with all of his doubts, he didn’t fight very hard as she pulled him forward. He just followed behind her, almost mindlessly, as she guided him through the trees.
“Do you remember what you told me when you found out about us?” she asked.
“I assume you mean after I threw a fit and called you a monster?” Garrick hadn’t taken the news of werewolves very well. For a long time, he’d been afraid of Hayden, even though he knew she had protected him from the other wolves.
“I do,” she nodded.
“I told you that I don’t care what happens on a full moon. You were you, and that’s what I love.”
“Right,” she approved. She stopped, turning to face him. “And you’re you. You’re a good man, Garrick Elliott.”
“Maybe,” he responded. Unsure wasn’t really a good word to describe what he was feeling. He was thoroughly convinced that she was wrong.
“Really,” she pushed. “You’re just trying to make the best of what happened. You want to help people. You can’t blame yourself when things go wrong. That’s just the world we live in.”
She kissed him. He tried to believe that she was right, but how could she be? Was he really spending all of that time trying to find a cure because he didn’t want someone to get hurt? Or was it because he didn’t want to keep going through the change? Even he didn’t have an answer, so how could she be so positive about her own?
Hayden started talking again, but it felt like she was miles away. Her words were becoming distant and jumbled. He tried to focus on her, but she just faded away.
“Hayden!” He called. Somehow, she had just vanished, disappearing into the trees.
He knew what was happening, on some level, but it didn’t make it any less terrifying.
He heard that all-too-familiar growl. Garrick turned to run, but the wolf was on the other side. As it walked away from some trees, Garrick backed away, stumbling over his feet. The beast inched its way toward him, but it seemed to approach him with caution, as if it were as scared of him as he was of it.
The wolf was a few inches from Garrick before it stopped moving. Garrick’s heart pounded in his chest. In denial, he hoped that it would just go away if he didn’t move. Instead, though, it started to smell his hand.
In a futile attempt to get his pulse under control, Garrick took a deep breath. At that point, if the creature wanted to kill him, there was nothing he could do about it. Kneeling down slowly, he lowered himself to be eye-level with the animal. It backed away, but he extended a hand to show he didn’t mean it any harm.
The wolf inched closer to him. He looked into the creature’s blue eyes. He wanted to call it a monster, but he couldn’t think of it like that. It was a beast, yes. An animal – but not a monster.
The wolf stood tall. The animal’s paws were about as big as Garrick’s own fist. Each had four claws. Two were more to the sides than the others, so each time the wolf scratched it was only likely to connect with three of the claws, depending on the angle – explaining the scar on his arm.
In a way, the wolf was a creature of beauty. It resembled an actual wolf, only much larger, in both size and build. There were clearly defined muscles in the beast’s front legs, and Garrick could see the traces of humanity that had been left. It also had significantly less fur, with only a thin layer covering most of its body.
On its left front leg, it had three lines imprinted on its body, and no fur seemed to grow to cover that mark. Instinctively, Garrick rubbed his hand against his own scar, lifting his shirt slightly. As Garrick revealed his scar, the wolf seemed to be put at ease.
That was it.
As the wolf stepped closer, Garrick slowly reached out to touch it. The creature didn’t move, but it did tense up slightly. It was ready to attack or run if it had to, so Garrick moved very cautiously. Slowly, he moved his hand closer – toward the creature’s leg.
The phone ringing scared him awake. He shot up in his bed, breathing heavily. Garrick looked around his room, trying to remember exactly when he’d drifted off.
After it rang twice more, Garrick reached out and grabbed his phone.
“Hayden,” he greeted groggily. He hoped his relief to hear from her didn’t show too much in his voice. Though he knew it had just been a dream, after seeing her disappear in front of his eyes, it was just good to hear her voice.
“Hey, Garrick,” she responded. She sounded unfazed, so he guessed she didn’t catch on to his tone. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” he yawned, trying to wake himself up. “Just taking a nap.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if I could come over.” It had taken her a while to start asking that, but Garrick was glad she finally had. She had always said she didn’t want to invite herself over, but Garrick had insisted enough times that she was always welcome that she’d finally started to just ask to go to his house, instead of starting with ‘hang out’ and then having a conversation about where to go. They almost always ended up at his house anyway.
“I’d love that,” he answered. “I’ll see you soon?”
“Yeah,” she responded cheerfully. “Love you, bye.”
“Love you too,” he said. Before he dropped the phone on the bed, Garrick waited for the beep. Garrick allowed himself a few more minutes to calm down from the rush of adrenaline he’d had when he’d awoken, then walked to the bathroom and tried to make himself more presentable by splashing water on his face and hair.
He had finally figured it out. It was always there, he’d just never known it had any significance. It had never been more to him than proof that he’d been scratched. Maybe, though, it was also the key to him regaining his humanity.
Garrick wished he’d come to the conclusion long before. Why was it, after all, that their healing factor couldn’t fix the one scar? Every other wound that they had, even scars from before the turn, disappeared. Those three lines, though, remained.
“How’d you figure it out?” He
texted Tyler, excited to have someone to share the information with. As he waited for a response, he heard Hayden knock on the door. When he let her in, she made herself at home, giving him a quick hug before plopping down on the couch. Garrick checked his phone as he followed her.
“I had my suspicion when you turned, but it wasn’t confirmed until Hayden jumped over me to fight the other one.”
“You could tell who was who?”
“I was able to recognize the two of you. You mentioned a scar on her stomach, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yeah,” Garrick confirmed.
“Who are you texting?” Hayden inquired, leaning toward him and nuzzling her way under his arm and in between him and his phone.
“Tyler,” he answered before he flipped his phone closed and set it to the side. As she set her head in his lap, he wrapped an arm around her and looked down, beaming.
“What about?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to listen to what he thought about controlling the change, but then I had a dream. I saw something odd, and he thinks it is the key to being able to stop the change on the full moon.”
“What is it?” Her interest was clearly piqued, but she was as hesitant to accept it as Garrick himself was.
He lifted her shirt slightly, exposing the scar that ran across her stomach. It ran sideways across almost half of her stomach and continued around her side. As he built up the courage to finally say the words, he traced that old wound with his fingers.
“The scar.”
Chapter 23
Ten months ago
Garrick walked to the gym, wearing a long sleeve shirt and sweat pants. He hadn’t owned a wide selection of clothing to wear to the gym, and his mother didn’t have the money to purchase a new wardrobe, so Garrick had to settle for some poorly-fitting clothes Cailean passed down to him. As he walked, he pondered Cailean’s advice when he’d thrust the attire upon him.
