Tereka gritted her teeth, thinking. Da had lied, but Da had saved her life, cared for her, at the risk of his own life. That was true. She owed him a lot. She swallowed the sour taste in her mouth. It seemed everything she learned made her life more complicated. And gave her knowledge she didn’t want to have. She let out a frustrated sigh and nodded.
Tikul let out a breath. “Good. And one more thing. No one else in living memory has had one of those amulets of power. No one can tell you how they work. All I can say is be very careful how you try to use them if all three find their way to you. I suspect the sky-god won’t allow you to abuse them. And whatever you do, keep those amulets safe.”
30
Tereka stared at the honeycakes Cillia placed in front of her, feeling no desire to eat. Just thinking about Da’s imminent return made her throat tighten.
He entered Cillia’s sunny kitchen just as Tereka finished toying with her food. After greeting Cillia and Osip he nodded at Tereka. She looked down at the mug of tea in her hands. She wasn’t ready to face him quite yet.
“Tereka.” His voice was gentle. “I was going to walk some this morning. I’d appreciate it if you’d come along.”
Her chest tightened and she was about to refuse when Osip spoke. “Good idea. There’s much to be said on both sides that’s long overdue.”
She regarded her grandfather then crossed her arms. She didn’t like being pushed into a conversation she didn’t want to have.
“Won’t get any easier for waiting.” Cillia moved to stand behind Tereka and rubbed her shoulders. “We’ll be here when you get back.” She dropped a kiss on the top of Tereka’s head.
“Fine.” Tereka stood, grabbed her boots from the mat by the door, and put them on. She hugged Osip. “See you later.” She blew a kiss to Cillia and walked out the door. She didn’t bother to wait for Da but strode through the camp. A moment later he caught up with her.
“Thank you for agreeing.”
“Didn’t seem like I had a choice, did I?”
“No one would have forced you if you’d refused.”
“Ha.” Seems like I’m being forced into a lot of things lately.
Da chose a trail lined with birch trees, their white branches gleaming in the sunshine. They walked without speaking, chirping of birds and the wind in the trees the only sounds.
“Are you going to tell me everything you know?” Tereka didn’t bother to take the demanding tone from her voice.
“Knowledge is a dangerous thing and should only be shared when you are sure of your facts.”
Tereka snorted. “You seem to be the keeper of all knowledge. I heard how you didn’t want to tell my parents about the prophecy. Maybe if they’d known, they wouldn’t have died.”
“Perhaps.” He looked at Tereka, eyebrows lifted. “Who told you that?”
“My uncle.”
“Tikul. Yes.” Da nodded. “He’s certain that the truth gives people power.” He sighed. “But that’s the case only if they know how to use the truth wisely.”
“You chose to withhold it from my parents. And me.”
Da shook his head. “You don’t understand. Xico was more to me than a friend.” He studied her face. “Did they tell you how we became so close?” When she shook her head, he continued. “My mother was ill, failing. She didn’t want me to watch her die. So my da sent me to live here for months.” He paused. “While I lost Mam, I gained siblings and surrogate parents, the family I always wanted.”
“You never saw fit to bring me.”
“I couldn’t. After all the trouble with your parents, I knew I was being watched. Those of us with special licenses to trade with the Riskers were always under scrutiny anyway. For many years I made it my business to spend as little time as possible in the Risker camps.”
“Why?” Tereka waited for Da to answer.
He rubbed his jaw, staring off into the distance. She’d never seen Da so indecisive, so troubled.
“After your parents fled, Poales and I did what we could to help them. Poales even offered to make contact with the pirates, to see if they would take them in.”
“Pirates?”
“Just as a last resort.”
“But the pirates slaughter everyone they meet.” Tereka shook her head. Poales wouldn’t be that crazy, to approach pirates. Everyone knew they were worse savages than the Riskers. She tried to ignore what she’d learned of her father’s family, and how they weren’t the barbarians she’d believed them to be. Could it be that the pirates weren’t all that bad, either?
“They don’t kill everyone.” Da smiled. “They will trade sometimes, if the deal is right.”
“So my father not only coerced my mother into marrying him, he was going to carry her off to the pirates?”
“Coerced her? Oh, no. She loved him.”
“Right.”
Da frowned. “You don’t think so?”
She didn’t know what she thought. Everyone seemed to have a different story. “I heard he compelled her to swim in the lake and jump from a rock.” The words burst from her before she could stop them. But she wanted to be certain of the truth.
He laughed. “That’s not exactly how the story went. She was reluctant at first, but once Xico explained that knowing how to swim would keep you safe in case you fell in the river, she was willing.”
Tereka narrowed her eyes. “And the part about jumping off a rock?”
“Well, the way I heard it, she wanted to try. Xico climbed up with her and held her hand. Her knees were shaking, but she decided to make the jump anyway. No one forced her.”
“How do you know? Were you there?”
“No, but I heard about it from Fialka and Tuli.”
She’d met her aunt Fialka, but the topic of the swimming hadn’t come up. Chen told a different story. After all Da’s lies, she was inclined to believe Chen’s version. Even though she didn’t want to.
Da resumed. “Anyway, I kept a close watch on the people most interested in tracking your parents, namely Kaberco and the man your mother was supposed to marry.”
“The chicken farmer. I heard all about him.”
“Somehow they knew where your parents were. I tried to get to your parents first.” He shook his head. “Kaberco was clever. They were a party of four, with another four following. I only knew about the first group.”
“Did they catch you?”
“No. But that’s how they caught your parents. Xico must have seen the first four and thought he could fight them off.”
“Four against one?” Tereka frowned.
“He was that good of an archer. If he had a clear view, he could have killed them all.”
“What happened?”
“He shot two of them. Then the other four, the ones he didn’t know were there, captured him. They dragged him down to the valley to join the others. They questioned him, beat him, and finally killed him.”
“How do you know?”
“I was up on the mountain, watching. As was your mother.”
“My mother?”
“Though I couldn’t see her, she must have seen the whole thing. A few heartbeats after they killed Xico, she came running down the slope. It seemed to me she was trying to lead them away from the place she’d hidden you.” He paused to rub his hand over his eyes. “They caught her, beat her, and dragged her off.”
“Why didn’t you save her?”
“I was too far away. And I had to make a hard decision very quickly. If I tried to save her and was unsuccessful, then there would have been no one to look for you.”
“But you might have helped her! How could you let them kill her?”
“Tereka, I had only a few heartbeats to choose. I saw how they ambushed your father. I had no way to know if others were hiding somewhere else.”
“You should have tried.”
“Don’t think I haven’t thought of that many times over the last seventeen years.” He ran a hand over the back of his head. “But don’t you see? You
r mother, who had been so timid, did a brave thing. She sacrificed her life for you. I couldn’t let her die for nothing. I had to save you. Once they dragged her away, I went looking for you.”
Reluctantly she admitted to herself there wasn’t much else he could have done. “How did you find me?”
“Poales knew of a cave in that area, a cave you could only find if you knew how the entrance was concealed. He’d told your parents to hide there. I knew roughly where it was, judging from the direction your mother had come.” He smiled wryly. “Even so, it took me a while. The whole time I was searching for you I was frantic some ravenous animal would discover you before I did.
“Thanks to Poales, I knew how to find the cave, how it was hidden. There you were, lying on the floor, all wrapped up.” He looked intently at her. “The three amulets were tucked into your blanket. I don’t know how you got the third one.” He shook his head. “They say the amulets of power will find the Desired One when that person needs them most. I’d say you needed one then.”
Tereka stared at him. “You think I’m the Desired One. That’s crazy.”
“I don’t know what to think. That was the first moment I thought it could be possible.” He shrugged. “At the time, though, I was more concerned with saving your life than some outlawed myth. So I took you to Litavye, joined a caravan, and smuggled you home.”
“No one noticed?”
“They didn’t. How that happened, I don’t know. Maybe the amulet did protect you, but we made it back. You know the rest.”
She stared at the ground, trying to reel in her thoughts that scattered in all directions like fluffy milkweed seeds in the wind. “Wait. My parents. What did they name me?”
Da held out his hands, palms up. “No one knows. The old midwife who delivered you died soon after your parents were killed.”
“I have no name?” Tereka’s knees weakened. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. No one knew what her parents had called her? “But in the camp, no one learned my name?”
“Those who came to see you after you were born didn’t know. Iskra always referred to you as ‘baby.’ Xico called you ‘little hopberry.’ Riskers don’t usually make the name of an infant public until the child reaches three months old.”
Tereka looked at him through narrowed eyes. “All this is your fault.”
“My fault?”
“Had you told them of the prophecy they would have been more careful. You should have warned them they were being tracked. You should have saved my mother.”
“Tereka, believe me, we did all we could. We were up against people who wouldn’t give up. They were relentless. And clever.”
“Cleverer than you.”
“Yes, they were. I made mistakes. We all did, even your parents.”
“And why didn’t I ever meet my father’s family?” She scowled at him.
“I sent word to them of what had happened. They agreed that I should raise you as my own.”
“Didn’t they want me?”
“Of course they did. Don’t you see? They were being watched because their son had broken the treaty by marrying a villager. Since he paid for it with his life, the Prime Konamei was willing to write it off as a young man’s folly. Had a newborn orphan shown up in the camp, it would have been a different story. The Prime Konamei can’t afford to let anyone live who could possibly be the Desired One.”
Tereka took a few paces away, turned, and crossed her arms. She felt as though the trees were closing in on her, forming a trap with shifting walls and a heaving floor that kept her continually off-balance. “This all doesn’t seem fair.”
“No, it’s not. Please, believe me. I gave you the best life I could.”
“All based on a lie. You should have told me sooner.”
“Would you have wanted to hear it? That your father was a Risker?”
Her face burned. Would she have wanted to know the shame of it? She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’d rather face a difficult truth than live with a comfortable lie.” She thought about all she’d been told, about Da, and decided his treatment of her was wanting. “I don’t know who to trust. Least of all you.”
“Tereka— ”
“You’ve kept so much from me for so long. Fine, you didn’t want to tell me when I was younger. And I understand that telling me all this would be difficult, so you put it off.” She glared at him. “Longer than you should have. Are you hiding anything else from me?”
He reddened and dropped his eyes.
That told her he was keeping something back. She let out a huff. It was probably better she didn’t know. “And don’t think for a heartbeat I want to be this Desired One. You said yourself you’re not sure I am, anyway.”
“No, I’m not. But you have the amulet of power.”
“Only one. Even if I had all three of them, I wouldn’t do it. Whatever the Desired One is supposed to do. Overthrow the Prime Konamei. Fight off invaders.” She just wanted to have a normal life with a normal family. No secret, outcast fathers. No runaway mothers. No lying pretend fathers or abusive fake mothers.
Da spoke slowly. “If the other two amulets show up, I’m not sure you’ll have a choice.”
“That’s what you say.”
There was a long pause, the only sound the far-off chirp of a bird. Da broke the strained silence. “What are you going to do now?”
Tereka blinked, puzzled by the change in topic. “Load up the wagon with honey. Go back to Trofmose. Be a trader.” She gave him a stony glare. “I know I have to still pretend you are my father. And I’ll still call you Da. But don’t read anything into it. I don’t have a da.”
He recoiled as if she’d struck him, then nodded. “I understand.” He gazed at her, the corners of his mouth drooping. “What about your grandparents? And family here?”
“I’ll come visit. Maybe. Once I can use your special license.” She softened her tone. “If you’ll let me.”
“Of course I will.” He spoke gently.
She closed her eyes. Cillia and Osip loved her. She was sure of that. Maybe she could enjoy their love in little snatches. Even though they were outcasts, at least someone—however lowly—loved her. Her eyes flew open. And that was what Da had done all these years. She pressed her lips together. It was unfair of her, she knew, but she squashed the idea that she owed him a debt of gratitude, and more. She didn’t want to feel any sympathy for him. Not yet.
31
Tereka gritted her teeth as she gingerly made her way down the steep trail that led from Zafrad to the point it met the road to Gishin. Tikul bounded down before her. It seemed he wasn’t bothered by the steepness. Da had disappeared early in the morning, saying he’d meet her later. The tightness in her chest that formed when he took his leave lightened as she walked. She distracted herself from more troubling thoughts by speculating how they were going to transport the barrels of honey Osip and some helpers had moved to the top of the trail.
She wasn’t left guessing long. Da drove up in a new wagon, pulled by the horses they’d ridden when they fled Trofmose. Da jumped down from the seat and slapped a hand against the wagon’s side. “What do you think? I got it in North Rivash, along with a team of horses. I sold the animals this morning since we already had these two, which gives me a good profit for this trip. So you can take all the honey, no need to worry about me.”
Tereka sensed a little sadness in his tone. She had been cold to him, that was true.
He whistled, and another whistle replied from above. Da climbed back into the wagon. “Tereka, if you please, get your bow ready. This is a good time for bandits to attack. They love honey as much as anyone.”
As Da said this, she noticed for the first time that Tikul had already strung his bow and had a full quiver of arrows dangling from his hip.
Da stood on the bed of the wagon, his head tipped back. Tereka gazed in wonder as a barrel of honey was lowered using ropes. As it drew near, Da guided it into place on the wagon’s bed. He untied the
ropes, then shifted the barrel to the side.
Tikul whistled, and the ropes ascended. He looked at Tereka and laughed. “How did you think we got the honey down? Roll the barrels down the mountain?”
She pointed up. “But how— ”
“They call it a pulley,” Da said. “Ask them to show it to you next time.” He tilted his head back. “Here comes the next one.”
Tereka shook her head. These supposed savages knew how to get a job done easily. And safely, as well. She wrinkled her nose. She wished to be part of her Risker family, to embrace all that they were. But that would mean forgiving Da. And she wasn’t quite ready for that.
In less than an hour, they had all four barrels loaded. Tikul embraced Da. “Next time you come, let’s go hunting, shall we? It’s been far too long.”
“Agreed.” Da’s smile was genuine. Tereka could tell he really loved her Risker family. She didn’t have time to consider the idea before Tikul swept her into a hug.
“You have no idea how we’ve longed to meet you. You will come back?”
She stepped back and nodded.
“Then be kept by the sky-god, both of you.” He stared into Tereka’s eyes. “And keep those amulets safe.”
Two days later Tereka and Da arrived in Trofmose, part of the caravan from Gishin. Her stomach fluttered as they trundled through the city gates. But no one challenged them, no one pulled her aside.
Da leaned toward her. “Just act as if nothing has happened. With any luck, Juquila will leave you be for a while.” When Tereka didn’t answer, he nudged her with his elbow. “Tereka, I— ”
“No, Da.”
His eyes flickered, and his lips twitched in a hint of a smile.
“Please. I’m only calling you Da since I have to keep up this pretense.” She paused. “I don’t know who I am or who I belong to. Or what I’m supposed to do about it.” She rubbed the back of her head and tugged on her hair. She’d have to make her own friends, people she could trust. “Until I figure things out, please leave me in peace.”
Flicker of the Flame: A YA Epic Fantasy Page 17
