by DC Alexander
“They know I’m an idiot when they see me comin like this. I can’t see the road. If they somethin layin there I gone run over it and bust a tire.”
“You can see the road way ahead and if they somethin there you go around it. They aint much in the road anyway but other cars, you can see them can’t you?”
He moved the mirrors where he liked them and pulled away from the curb, a horn blared right behind us and he snatched the wheel to the side “Damn, I pulled out in front of that car, I can’t see shit like this.”
“But you lookin good! You see everything like I do when you set like that, and you stylin.”
We went down the road and he started to get a feel for it. He was holding the wheel with both hands, one on each side.
“You too tense. You need to relax. You got too many hands on the wheel. Just put one hand on the bottom there so nobody can see it. If you really want to look spiffy you put one hand on the top but that’s advanced; aint just anyone can do that and still be relaxed.”
He bristled at the suggestion he wasn’t the best and put one hand on top of the wheel, and then he put the other hand in his lap and tried to look laid back. “You happy wid that? We get killed lookin like this but it be ok if we die lookin good, all laid back with the ambulance flashin its lights and peoples usin the jaws of life to pry our mangled asses out of the damn car what be crushed up like a piece a tin foil.”
He was on a roll and forgot to be tense, the man had style, and he had it goin on.
I leaned my seat back and slid down a little. I didn’t have far to go before I was too low to see out the windshield. “Carl, you got it goin on now, we like hit men or maybe that oughta be hit people, ridin round the hood. Doesn’t it just give you a feelin of adventure?”
“The only adventure I need to be around is you. They more strange shit happen round you in a minute than I could see at the movies in a week, every day you got somethin else goin on.”
I said “Yeah, things have been strange. Hey, look here, you aint textin. You got anybody you can text somethin to?”
“That’s the damndest thing I ever heard! What for would I be textin somebody while I’m drivin?”
“That’s what everbody does when they really laid back. You gotta get the right mental attitude, like this; you got somethin way more important to do than drive a car, you just happen to be sittin there and the car movin, but you actually doin somethin else and not payin attention to the car. You see that all the time on TV or in a movie, they talkin to each other and lookin around and not payin no mind to the car, you know?”
“I aint got nobody I want to text anything to, and I aint got no way to text anyway. I don’t think my phone even do text far as I know. I never texted nothin in my entire life and I don’t really want to. If I want to communicate with someone I like to speak to them, it works a lot better.”
I dug in my purse and pulled out my Iphone, “Here, take this and pretend you textin somethin.”
“What the hell I gone do that for? I aint textin nothin while I drivin, I kill us all and other people too and wreck the car. I see fools doin that all the time, you got to dodge ‘em because they aint lookin. Hell no, I aint textin nothin.”
“You aint got to really text anything, you just hold the phone up like you readin stuff and people think you textin, you got so much to do you got to text while you drivin somewhere, you an important, busy man.”
He reached over and took the phone. He glanced at it and held it up on the wheel with his hand that was steering so he could see it. “Damn, this is a nice phone, where’d you get it? I didn’t know you had no phone like this!” He bumped over something and snatched the car back straight. “Oh shit, Rosalee, they a cop behind us. I hope he didn’t see me hit that curb.” He started to straighten up in his seat.
“Carl, don’t you get set up while they watchin, they’ll pull you over for sure then, you look guilty and shit, you got to stay that way and don’t let on you even see them.”
“I know, but it’s hard to stay on the road, I can’t see the center line like this. They’re gonna pull us over if I run over the line and swerve all over the road.”
“Maybe we ought to pull over, he pass us by if we pull over and stop. If we aint moving he can’t give us a ticket. That’s the thing to do, just pull over on the side of the road when you see a spot.”
“I can’t see the damn road ‘cept way the hell off, I can’t pull off nowhere. Maybe if we come to a big turn lane or somethin we can pull over. I’m watchin for it, you look too. Don’t be obvious about it though.”
I rose up enough I could see a little, he was right, I couldn’t see much up close. I needed to get up where I could see. I didn’t want to look suspicious though. I tried to look without rising up too much.
Carl said “Damn, another one just pulled in front of us. That aint coincidence! They’re fixin to pull us over and search the car!”
The blue lights come on behind us, the car in front stayed there. We slowed down and looked for a place to pull over. Carl leaned up so he could see and spotted a clear spot. We pulled over and stopped. Carl cut the car off and put both hands on the wheel and sat there. The car in front pulled over in front of us and backed up closer and turned his blue lights on.
I said “Man, you better get out and go ask them what they want! You set there and make them come up here, they gone be pissed.”
Carl said “Oh hell no, you never get out when they pull you over, you make sure they can see yo hands and you set still till they tell you to get out. They liable to shoot yo ass if you get out.”
A cop got out of the car in front and walked back to us with his hand on his gun, watching us closely through the windshield. I heard the door slam behind us, there was one coming up that way too.
Carl was muttering “Damn it, I knowed better than this, they gone get me for textin, they gettin me for reckless drivin, Christ, I probably got alcohol in me, I was all over the damn road. What the hell wrong wid me, I aint got no sense at all. I oughta pull my dick out and they get me for public indecencies too, why not go all the way, I be in prison now, eatin that prison food, some big bastard gone be callin me bitch. I hate this shit, we caught now, aint no gettin away.”
I busted out laughin, “Carl, get hold yo self man. We aint doin nothin illegal, we was just goin down the road. If they do get you and take you away, I send you letters in prison ever month or two, and I send Vaseline in the letters so you be ok.”
“Not no KY jelly? You goin cheap on me after all we been to each other. I can’t believe that, after the LOVE we shared you gettin me greased for that big ol ugly man wit that cheap ass Vaseline!”
I swear I never knowed he had it in him! I give it up, I laughed so hard I had tears runnin down my face, of course the cop tapped on the window then.
The window was down, he was actually tapping on the top of the door.
Carl turned that way and I knew he was tryin to look serious but he had a big old fool looking grin, he said “Yes sir, can I help you?”
The cop looked familiar, I leaned up so I could see him good, his name tag said Henry something. I knew this man, I said “Hey, how you doin Henry?”
He looked past Carl at me, “Rosalee Piers. Ma’am, we stopped yall because this is your car but it looked like somebody strange was driving it. It began driving erratically and Officer Davids called it in.
I said “David Davids? Aint that Duck?”
Henry said “Yeah, we call him Duck.”
“That’s just a damn shame somebody did him like that, who gone name somebody David when his last name is Davids? Aint no wonder he got a nickname. The car, yeah the car erratic cuz Carl be showin me drivin. We weren’t doin nothing and we got tickled bout a joke and swerved that time.”
He looked at Carl, “You teachin her to drive?”
“Yes sir, it’s her car and I drive her around, I was showin her the basics.”
“You had your foot up on the dash, what was that sho
win?”
“That was foolin, they be people that drive that way, I show her don’t never do that because it dangerous. We was laughin at somebody that drive that way, that’s stupid.”
Duck come up on my side, I said “Duck! How you doin man?”
He leaned down and said “How are you doin ma’am. Thought somebody stole your car, glad to see it wasn’t stolen.”
“I appreciate that, I really do. I don’t think you harassin me at all and I appreciate you lookin out for me. You come on by the house any time, you welcome, and you might not fall in no hole when you come back, I aint seen no holes since the other day, I think they gone.”
“Thank you. I doubt I’ll be back unless you have trouble and call us, but I’m happy to build good community relations.” The shit was getting so deep I needed to put on some boots, but I guess that’s the way it plays. At least he was polite now.
I asked “Why didn’t Duck pull us over, he could a checked us out. I’m glad to see you but just wonderin” over at Henry.
“We not takin a chance on creatin any problems, we didn’t want you to think we were harassing you.” He smiled at me. He was such a happy man.
I smiled right back at him “Well, yall doin a wonderful job. Yall want to go grocery shoppin with us? We’re goin out to get some food. They got free samples at the store. They might have some doughnuts.” I tried to smile bigger.
“No, we can’t do that. I’m curious though, it looked like Carl here was texting. Yall know that’s illegal now, don’t you?” Damn he was happy. I could see his back teeth.
I said “He wasn’t textin, that phone aint on. He was showin me what peoples look like when they textin, how foolish it is.” I was squinting by that point with the effort to keep the big smile going.
He held out his hand and Carl handed over the phone. He hit the button and it was turned off, I leave it off because nobody going call me on that number, it belongs to somebody in a bathroom. I use it for a map or to look somethin up.
He shook his head “Yall go on to the store. You might want to lean that seat up so you can see out of the car. If you want to show her what not to do, please do it while parked from now on. Do yall have any illegal drugs or substances in your possession?”
That last throwed me, what was that? “No, we aint got nothin illegal.”
“Alright then, yall have a nice day.” They loaded up their cars and pulled away. We set there a minute till they was out of sight – you don’t drive where they can see you if you can help it, you might do something illegal and get a ticket - then we pulled out and went on to the store.
We were talking as we went along, and I mentioned that man William who helped in the basement, he was good help and stayed down there long as I needed him.
Carl said “You know that was Willie’s daddy?”
“No! Really? I didn’t have any idea. I wonder if he knowed about what I did to Willie. You reckon Willie’s ass ever healed up? He had him some road rash it looked like.”
“Yeah, he knew who you were. He might have wanted to shake your hand. Willie quit hangin out with the gangs. He’s goin to school regular and readin and hangin out at home a lot. He almost got religion.”
“What’s that got to do with me? I just busted his ass when he messed with my mail.”
“He worried so bad about how that looked and the way you took him down that he don’t want to talk to any of his homies any more, he was embarrassed, then you doin all this hoodoo stuff. I guess he kinda hidin out, he aint takin a chance on runnin into somethin bad again.”
“That’s me, spreadin goodness ever where I go, ever day. Damn, I’m good.” I laughed. “And you good too Carl, I can’t believe how good you do with all this, you a natural, man. And you good with the police.”
He laughed “I should be, I spent enough time keepin away from them.” We got our groceries and called it a day.
Chapter Twelve
E arl was useful, I could send him out with instructions and he minded. He was looking worn and tired, he had lost weight, and he was creepy as shit. I didn’t like keeping him around the house. I never really trusted that fetish and I didn’t know how it really acted; I did know that Earl was a bad ass, and I didn’t want to wake up one night with that nasty bastard loose and looking me in the face.
I went down first thing in the morning and sat him down, him still staring off somewhere blankly, and took the bag off his neck. I used a piece of plastic to make sure I didn’t get it on me even though he said it wouldn’t bite me. I put it away so it wouldn’t leak, he was still sitting there with no change; I guessed that was alright, he was addicted and stuck like this unless I fixed him.
I should give him the first dose of the powder. It would release him to think a little, he would belong to me because I had to supply the powder containing my blood to keep him going. The whole damn thing was sounding bad to me, I didn’t want to be a permanent blood donor, keeping that creepy bastard around and waiting for the day when he went bad on me. He’d either rot or die and not notice or get loose and do me up, and none of the choices looked good to me.
I fixed up the powder and gave him a dose, and that made me think about the powder. I could probably make it, it was herbs, then use my blood, so I could come up with a supply if I wanted to. And that was the base of the whole problem. I just wanted to get rid of him and not have to worry about him coming back on me.
It worked pretty quickly. He got some life back in his eyes and looked at me. I just looked back at him. I had my pistol in my pocket in case he got frisky; I was probably as strong as him, but he was bigger and might know stuff I didn’t. I was sitting on my spot where I had the concrete removed, and I could feel the strength through the ground, it worked like a charm.
He said “I didn’t have no idea it was like that.” He sounded all rusty, he hadn’t been talking a lot so that made sense. He cleared his throat “Damn. I reckon I in the shit now.” He got a tight look around his eyes “Oh. Oohhhh. Yeah. I be right back, uh, oh! Can I go up to the bathroom? Right now? I come right back, I gotta go!”
“Yeah, go ahead, I wait here for you.” That was kinda a relief, he hadn’t been in a while, I was glad because I don’t know if he could have handled it and I wasn’t going to handle it. I had been wondering about it though.
He went up the stairs pretty quick and slammed the door to the bathroom. After ten minutes or so I got comfortable, after thirty minutes I went up and made some coffee. About an hour later I heard him flushing again, but this time finally he come out and went back down so I went down and took him a cup of coffee.
I didn’t know how you liked it, so it got sugar in it, no cream, the way I drink it. You want some?”
He looked at me blankly so I said “Coffee, man, do you want a cup of coffee?”
He reached out his hand and took the cup like nobody ever did anything like that for him before, he carefully took a sip, closed his eyes, and moaned. He must have liked that coffee a lot.
I said “Earl, I’m stuck in a spot here. I don’t want to own nobody. I don’t want you mindless or dead. But if I turn you loose, you gonna get back on me. Do you have enough sense to talk about this?”
He looked at me like a puppy I seen one time that had been run over, sad, wounded, and hopeless. “I can talk but I don’t know what good it’s gonna do. I can’t get away, I’ll die without that powder and your blood, I seen that before and it’s a bad way to go. Even if you could let me go you couldn’t trust me, I’m a bad man. That’s the only way I know to be.”
“Can you lie to me right now?” That was a pointless question but I had to ask it.
“I don’t know, aint no point though. It’s too much trouble to think of a lie. I got maybe five years before I just stop and fall over. This is the best I’m gone be, and it aint gonna last long, another hour or two and I’ll just set less you put me to somethin to do. It gettin harder to think now and I can’t get enough goin on to even get mad. “
�
�If there was a chance to get out of this would you take it? Is there anything you would do if you were loose, or would you just turn on me and go back to bein bad?”
“If I was loose they aint nothin I could do but go back to the same way I was, that’s the only way I could live. I aint got no school or none of that. I know dealin and pimpin and people and some store bought hoodoo.”
“Is there anything you ever wanted to do, something else?”
“Yeah, I would be an electrician or a plumber or a welder or somethin, but I aint got no schoolin.”
I could feel him gettin slower. If I was going to do something I needed to go on and do it. I looked down in him and saw the coating in place in his brain, the misfires were getting worse. I didn’t even think about it, I started healing him. I was thinking about when he was loose, he might get up and smash me.
“Earl, I’m going to give you a chance. This is one time thing here. Lay your arms on the dirt here and put your feet over here.”
I sank his feet and hands and locked them in so he wasn’t going anywhere. I was getting better at stripping the coating off, I pulled and washed and he came clean. He acted like he didn’t notice, he had given up.
“Earl, what kinda education you got? Can you read and write and do math?”
“I quit after the ninth grade. I can read and write and figger.”
“Can you remember what you read and you know what it means when you read it?”
“Yeah, I remember good.”
“I’m going to give you some money, you go get a couple books for the GED test and read them. Anything you can’t figure out you let me know and we’ll get it down. Then you gone take that GED test and pass it.”
He just looked at me like he couldn’t come up with the energy to argue. I checked him out after I gave him the money and he looked ok for a zombie that had been dead for a week or two, I said “Earl, go up and clean yoself up, wash them clothes you got on, get dressed and go get them GED books. Come on back here when you get them and you study and learn the books all the way from one end to the other. Go on and do it now.”I turned him loose. Damn I hoped I wasn’t making the last mistake of my life.
