His grip on her hands loosened, and he moved closer, sliding his hands up her arms. “That’s better. Now let’s try this again.”
Before she’d figured out what he meant by “this,” he’d wrapped both arms around her back and was pressing his lips to hers.
She gasped in a sharp breath and tried to slide away, but he squeezed her tighter, his mouth moving hungrily against hers. Nothing about it felt sweet or warm or right.
Blood pounded in her ears as she raised her hands to his chest and pushed. But he was bigger than her and had her wrapped too firmly.
“Please,” she gasped around his mouth. “Stop.”
He pulled his head back and loosened his grip slightly. “What’s wrong?”
“I just— I want to go back to my room—” She tried to wriggle free from his grasp, but his arms didn’t budge.
He gave her a slow smile. “That sounds nice. But we’re alone here. No one’s going to disturb us.”
Fear clawed at her lungs. That wasn’t what she’d meant.
“No, I—” She struggled harder.
But he was already leaning closer, bringing his mouth toward hers.
She gave a hard shove against his chest and screamed the only word she could think of in that moment.
“Jared!”
Chapter 10
Jared jolted upright and swiveled his head to search the lobby. It was empty, aside from an older couple snuggling in front of the fire. But he could have sworn he heard something.
He was probably going crazy from sitting here so long.
After walking the grounds for an hour, he’d been frozen through, but he hadn’t been able to face going up to his room, so he’d planted himself in the lobby. He couldn’t help it that the comfortable seat he’d chosen happened to be tucked into a nook near the theater. Or that he had a view of the theater doors if he leaned out and craned his neck. Which he’d found himself doing.
Frequently.
He glanced at the oversize clock on the opposite wall. He’d been here for forty minutes already. Surely their movie would be done soon, and they’d come out. He’d see that Peyton was safe, and everything would be fine.
He tried not to imagine what else they might be doing in there besides watching the movie. He knew Peyton intended to wait for marriage.
But that didn’t mean she was immune to Sawyer’s charms.
Jared jumped to his feet and started toward the theater doors.
But halfway there he drew up short. Leah was right. He had no business interfering. He should go to bed.
He turned toward the steps, but a sound stopped him.
This time he was sure he heard it. A shout of some sort.
He swiveled to search the lobby again. But the couple by the fire were laughing, and the desk clerk was typing on the computer.
Anyway, it had sounded like it came from behind him.
From the theater.
He spun and rushed the door, not letting himself pause to think. He charged inside but drew up short at the sudden darkness.
“Sawyer, please!” That was definitely Peyton’s voice.
Jared’s heart lurched, and he stumbled forward, not caring when he bashed his leg against the back of a seat.
His pulse drummed in his ears as his eyes swept the empty seats.
There.
Sawyer had his arms wrapped around Peyton, his face lowered to hers.
Jared froze. Everything in him went numb. Nothing could have prepared him for seeing Peyton kissing another man.
But she jerked her head back. “Stop!”
Her scream shot him across the room as a boiling rage took over.
In two seconds flat, his grip was locked on Sawyer’s shirt, and he yanked him into the aisle.
He pulled his fist back and drove it into Sawyer’s cheekbone.
Sawyer staggered to the side, grabbing his face and swearing. “What the— Who do you think you are?”
But Jared ignored him and turned to Peyton. She was white and shaking.
He held a hand out to her. “You okay?” His voice was gruff and barely controlled.
She nodded but then screamed as a hand fell on his shoulder and spun him around. He knew what was coming, and he knew what he had to do.
The punch landed against his eye socket, shooting fireworks through his skull. But he shook off the pain. He’d dealt with worse than that.
He pivoted on his rear leg, putting all his force into the reverse punch that smashed into Sawyer’s nose, followed by a swift hook to his jaw.
Sawyer doubled over, lifting a hand to staunch the flow of blood from his nose.
“You will never touch her again.” All the rage Jared had ever felt for his father, for any man who would hurt a woman, spiked his words.
He grabbed Peyton’s hand and pulled her out of the seats. She clutched at his hand as he led her down the aisle, but she kept stumbling.
He stopped and swept an arm under her knees to pick her up.
She hissed in a breath but didn’t protest.
Neither of them said a word as he carried her out of the theater and across the lobby.
“I can walk,” she finally said at the base of the staircase.
He set her down. But he couldn’t look at her.
Now she knew the real him. Knew the anger he was capable of feeling. The hurt he was capable of inflicting.
The silence stretched as they made their way slowly up the stairs. She was limping pretty badly, but she kept climbing, her breaths coming in short puffs.
When they reached their rooms, he made himself look at her. She was studying the key in her hand.
“I should check your ankle.”
“It’s fine.” She shoved her key in the lock.
He started to protest, then closed his mouth.
After seeing that he could use his hands for far more than healing, she probably wanted to get as far away from him as possible.
And he didn’t blame her one bit.
Look at the bright side. He stuck his own key into the lock. At least now she won’t want to marry you anymore.
Some bright side.
Chapter 11
If it was possible, Peyton’s eyes were heavier now than they’d been when she’d finally dropped into an uneasy sleep an hour before dawn. She groaned as she pushed the covers off herself. She’d spent most of the night reliving the paralyzing helplessness that had washed over her when Sawyer refused to stop kissing her. The relief she’d felt when Jared burst into the theater looking ready to burn down any obstacle to get to her. The anger she’d felt at herself for not listening to his warning in the first place.
But she’d wanted so badly to believe that Sawyer was the answer to her prayers for a future.
She scowled at herself in the mirror as she limped toward the bathroom. The others had already gone down to breakfast, but she’d pleaded a headache and said she’d meet them in the lobby so they could go to church together. Usually, Sundays were her favorite day of the trip. She loved the little country church they attended, with the friendly locals. Loved the little diner they always went to for lunch. Loved the park next to it where they’d had more than one snowball fight.
But today the thought of all that left a sour feeling in her stomach.
She stepped into the shower, trying to let the hot water wash away her memories. But it only seemed to amplify them.
Not only memories of last night. But memories of all the beautiful moments she’d shared with Jared. Of how he’d always made her feel safe. Of how he’d told her he couldn’t marry her.
Why not, Lord? Why isn’t the future I want happening for me?
Her tears mingled with the spray from the shower. Didn’t God see that she needed some divine intervention here? She was trying so hard to find a husband and a family and the life she’d always wanted. So why wasn’t it happening?
By the time she got out of the shower, she had five minutes to finish getting ready before she had to meet the others. She thre
w on her clothes, swiped on some eye makeup to hide the puffiness and dark circles, then hobbled out the door as quickly as she could, wincing with each step.
Halfway down the staircase, a sudden trembling took over her legs. What if Sawyer was at the desk? What if he approached her?
She tried to ignore the shakiness and keep going, but her legs refused to carry her down another step.
She stood, frozen.
“Peyton.” Leah’s relieved cry from the bottom of the staircase drew her eyes, and before she could move another inch, her friend had run up the steps and engulfed her in a hug. “Jared told us what happened. Are you okay?”
She nodded even as tears pricked at her eyelids again.
Leah wrapped an arm around her and led her toward the rest of the group, gathered in the sunken area around the fireplace. She started to breathe easier.
Until she caught sight of Jared.
A vicious purple and green bruise surrounded his eye, which was almost swollen shut.
He stood with the others but refused to look at her.
She didn’t blame him. What must he think of her after what he had seen last night?
Had she even thanked him for coming to her rescue? Everything was such a blur she couldn’t remember.
“I’ve already let the desk clerk know we’ll be checking out today,” Ethan said in a low voice. “We’ll leave it up to you if we go to church first or just head out right away.”
“Oh, we don’t have to leave.” Peyton was touched, but there was no way she was going to let Sawyer ruin their whole vacation.
“We’re leaving.” Jared’s voice was hard, brooking no arguments.
Leah gave him a look, then turned to her. “Do you still want to go to church?”
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
She tried to ignore Jared’s grimace. She hadn’t seen him in church since they’d broken up, but he’d just have to deal with it. She needed the reassurance of God’s love right about now.
They moved as a group toward the door, her friends surrounding her like a human shield. As they crossed the parking lot, Peyton tried to maneuver closer to Jared so she could thank him. But every time she got near him, he skirted away.
Then they were in the van and she was pressed between Leah and Ariana, who seemed determined to keep her distracted.
But once they were seated in church, there was nothing to keep Peyton’s mind from wandering to last night. What would have happened if Jared hadn’t come in? Would Sawyer have tried to do more?
A shudder passed through her, and Leah reached over to squeeze her hand. Peyton squeezed back gratefully, then bowed her head, trying to pray as she waited for the service to begin.
But she had poured out everything she had in the shower this morning. So she sat quietly and waited for God to calm her spirit as he had so many times in her life.
She didn’t understand why she felt more agitated than ever by the time the service started. The calming words of the hymns only stirred her up more, until she felt a restless need to move. She bounced her leg and twisted her hands in her lap. Leah shot her a raised eyebrow. Peyton sat on her hands and tried to still her legs.
But as the pastor stood to deliver his message, she felt the need to move again.
Until he started talking.
“Have you ever felt like God doesn’t know what he’s doing with your life?” The pastor sounded as if he were having a conversation with a friend.
Peyton fell dead still. Was he talking directly to her?
“Sure,” the pastor continued, “you trust that he’s in control. But you think he’s making a mess of everything.”
Peyton leaned forward in her seat, mouth open. That’s exactly how she felt. She’d prayed over and over and over again for a husband who would love her the way her parents loved each other. And God had given her that man in Jared. But he wasn’t willing to be her husband. And then, yesterday, she’d thought God had sent her another man. Another chance.
Wrong again.
So what was she supposed to do next?
Peyton forced her attention back to the sermon. The pastor was telling a story from his own life. Something about how he’d wanted to be a baseball player. He’d even made it to the minor leagues. And just when he was on the cusp of his big break, he’d been in an accident that had destroyed his shoulder.
“Let me tell you, I railed at God about that. I told him, I said, ‘God, next time maybe you should check on what my future is going to be before you go letting me waste my time on something that’s never going to pan out.’ Can you imagine talking to God that way?”
Peyton dropped her gaze to her lap. She didn’t have to imagine it. Hadn’t she done the same thing a thousand times? God, make sure the next one wants to marry me first.
“And then I was so bold as to tell God what he should do with my life now that he’d messed it up. I said, well, if I can’t be a baseball player, I want to be a coach. High school, college, pro, I didn’t care. I applied for all these jobs. And each one came back: no, nope, no thank you. And I was devastated. Why was God blocking my plans at every turn?”
The pastor paused, and Peyton held her breath. That’s what she wanted to know, too. Why did God keep stopping her plans? When would he start making things happen for her?
“And here’s the thing I’ve finally realized.” The pastor paused, looking at each person in turn. When his eyes fell on Peyton, she stilled. She could feel that whatever he said next was going to be the truth.
“I didn’t see it at the time,” he continued. “I was too busy resenting God. But now, I can see it. It’s right there, in Jeremiah 29:11. God says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
The pastor spread his arms wide. “Do you see it?” He smiled as if he’d just delivered the greatest gift. “I was running after my plans. Not God’s. And that was about the dumbest thing I could do. Who was I to think that I knew what was best for my future? God’s plans are perfect. Why would I want anything less than that?”
Peyton sank back in her seat. Was that what she was doing? Running after her own plans instead of God’s? Had she really thought she knew what she needed better than her heavenly father did?
Okay, Lord. The prayer flowed from her heart. Help me to stop fighting your plans. Whatever they are, I know they are better than any plan I could come up with.
She shifted in her seat. What if God’s plans for her didn’t include marriage and a family? What if they looked nothing like what she wanted so badly? Help me to be content with the hope and the future you give me, even if it means remaining single.
Simply praying the words pierced her heart, but as she stood to sing the next song, a stillness settled over her. Trusting God with her future was right. No matter where he may lead her.
Chapter 12
Jared exhaled in relief. The church service was finally over.
He’d had to force himself to stay in his seat as the pastor had gone on and on about God’s plans.
Where were God’s plans when he was a kid? Was it God’s plan for him to watch his dad beat his mom to within an inch of her life? Was it God’s plan for his mom to walk out, leaving him alone with his dad? Was it God’s plan to give him a past that guaranteed he couldn’t have a future?
Because if those were God’s plans, no thank you. He was doing just fine with his own plans.
What plans? To be alone and miserable the rest of your life?
He shoved the thought aside as he filed out of the pew behind the others. Alone and miserable was better than being with someone and constantly fearing he’d hurt them someday.
In the lobby, Peyton was having an enthusiastic conversation with the pastor. At least if she dated him, Jared probably wouldn’t have to worry about her safety.
For the millionth time he kicked himself for letting her get into that situation with Sawyer yesterday. He should have done more than tell
Leah to warn her. He should have warned her himself. Or barged in there sooner and dragged her away from Sawyer, whether she liked it or not.
Being the object of her fury would be better than being the one who had let her get hurt.
Again.
“I’ll be in the van,” he muttered to Leah.
He pushed out the church doors before she could answer. The others would catch up when they were ready. He couldn’t stay in here a minute longer.
In the van, he leaned his head against the seat and let out a long breath. He couldn’t wait to get home. To put this entire weekend behind him. To put Peyton behind him. Now that he knew she’d never look at him without seeing the monster he’d become last night, maybe she’d be easier to let go of.
The passenger door opened, but Jared didn’t turn his head.
“Hey.” It was Dan’s voice. “How’s the shiner? Need some ice?”
Jared shook his head. Pastor Boy here could go ahead judge him for hitting Sawyer last night. He’d do it again a hundred times if it meant keeping Peyton safe.
“At least you didn’t break anything. I got in a fight once in high school and broke my hand.”
Jared turned his head a fraction, eying Dan.
“It was stupid.” Dan chuckled lightly. “The kid was like twice my size. But he insulted my dad, and I kind of lost it. I aimed for his face, but he ducked and my hand ended up smashing into a locker.”
“At least you had a dad worth defending,” Jared muttered.
“Yeah.” Dan sounded thoughtful. “I guess I never thought of it that way.”
Funny how people who had good parents—parents who loved them—never really thought about it. What would his life have been like if he hadn’t had to give his dad a thought?
“Anyway.” Dan flipped on the heater. “Just remember that even if your earthly father is less than perfect, you have a heavenly father who loves you perfectly.”
Jared nodded tightly. He knew Dan meant well. But for Dan the word father meant safety and love and acceptance. For Jared, it meant terror and loathing. So he didn’t need two fathers. One was more than enough.
Not Until This Moment: Novella (Hope Springs Book 2) Page 5
