“I didn’t know. I just hoped you wouldn’t.”
“Rowan, my home is wherever you are. I’m home whether I’m in this bed where I’ve slept almost all my life, or I’m on the Lady Grace. As long as we’re together, then I’m where I’m meant to be.”
“But--”
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Their lips collided as Rowan propped himself on his forearms above her.
“I said only a moment again I wouldn’t make love to you in your parents’ home, at least not until we’re wed. I find it a struggle to keep that pledge.”
Caragh reached between them and guided him into her cunny.
“Good thing I didn’t make such silly promises.”
They made love throughout the night, slowly and silently. Rowan didn’t pull out, and they climaxed with one another over and over. When they were finally satiated and too exhausted to keep their eyes open, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Chapter Fourteen
Caragh reached for Rowan as she came awake, but her arms found only empty air. She jerked fully awake as she pushed her hair from her eyes. She pulled the sheet to her chin when she saw her mother hanging a gown she’d never seen before on the hook by her bed. Her mother hummed as she brushed out the gown.
“Good morn to ye, ma wee sleepy head. Yer mon instructed ye werenae to be woken, but I think he’ll be regretting his own words if ye are still snoring by the time he and yer da return.”
“What’re Rowan and Da doing together? Dear God, did Da challenge Rowan? He never did anything I didn’t want. Mama?”
“Calm yerself. Rowan left before the sun rose to hammer on the priest’s door. When Father Robert refused to perform a marriage without the banns read, yer mon came stomping back to the cottage. Da spotted him while he was milking the cow. He took Rowan back to Father Robert’s. Da is fairly certain he can be more persuasive than Rowan. He may nae be as young as yer braw pirate, but he kens plenty aboot Father Robert that the priest would prefer others didna, like his love of Scottish whisky. Now up with ye. Ye canna be going to yer wedding in naught but yer chemise.” Catriona glanced at her daughter and grinned, “Or even less.”
Caragh gasped and pulled the sheet back up to her chin.
“Dinna act the virgin now. If ye werenae with child already, then I would imagine last eve did the trick.”
Caragh face felt like it was on fire. “You heard us?”
Catriona giggled. “Nay. I only suspected it, but ye confirmed it. Come now, yer brother Adam was at our wedding.” Catriona rubbed her belly to prove her point, and Caragh coughed as the air stuck in her throat.
They spent the next quarter hour dressing Caragh and pulling her hair back into braids laced with ribbons. They finished as they heard the door swing open.
“Caragh.”
“Catriona.”
A pair of male voices boomed as mother and daughter stuck their matching visages around the curtain.
Rowan stopped dead as he took in the sight of Caragh with her hair done. He reached out his hand, and he was sure he would swoon as he gazed at his bride in a gown that appeared to have been stitched around her. It fit to perfection.
“Your wedding gown, Caty.” Caragh’s father murmured.
Rowan was only vaguely aware of the others in the cottage. His attention was riveted to Caragh. She took his hand as they stepped outside. The entire village seemed to have turned out to watch her marry her pirate captain.
The ceremony was over in a matter of minutes, as Father Robert refused to conduct a full Mass for a pirate. They spoke their vows as they held each other’s gaze, enraptured with one another. The world fell away as they pledged themselves and sealed it with a kiss that made Father Robert clear his throat. The crowd responded with a mixture of cheers and grumbles; not everyone was welcoming to the pirate, and Caragh hadn’t missed that on their walk to the kirk.
They returned to her parents’ home, but Caragh felt the hostility growing among those who lost family members during Rowan’s raid and then Ruairí’s two nights before. Once they’d eaten, Caragh pulled Rowan aside. “Take me home.”
“I thought you were home.”
Caragh looked around the cottage she spent nearly her whole life. It held countless fond memories, but it no longer felt like home. “I mean the Lady Grace. Our cabin. Take me home.”
“If that’s what you wish. But we can return any time you want. You need only make your wishes known, and I’ll bring you for a visit with all due haste.”
“Such a formal way to say we can pay a visit.”
“It’s a rather formal occasion.”
“I certainly hope only one part of you stays this stiff once we’re in our cabin.”
Rowan pulled her into his embrace and squeezed her bottom.
“Your cheeky mouth will earn you a spanking if you keep it up.”
“I have every intention of keeping it up well into the night.”
Rowan growled into her ear as his tongue whorled about the shell before kissing her just below her lobe.
“I believe you’ve just secured the spanking you so desire. This one will be entirely for pleasure.”
“Then let us be on our way.”
Caragh’s humor sobered as she bid farewell to her family, but they understood the nature of separation better than most. They’d avoided the topic of her brother Eddie, but as she prepared to leave Bedruthan Steps possibly for the last time, she looked at each of her family, and said a prayer of goodbye to her little brother. No one had blamed her, but she could feel the hollowness they all shared.
Once aboard the Lady Grace, Rowan paused only long enough to introduce her to the crew as his wife before guiding her to the ladder well. She dashed to the cabin and threw open the door. Rowan was on her heels as he pulled at the laces of her gown. It was only the knowledge that it had been her mother’s dress that kept him from ripping it from her. He wasn’t so gentle with her chemise, which lay in tatters on the ground by the time she helped him strip bare.
Rowan carried her to the table where they first made love. Even from the beginning, they both knew they found something rare. Rowan slid into her as she wrapped herself around him. Caragh watched her every emotion reflected in Rowan’s eyes, and he read her just as easily.
“We’re home,” they shared the same breath.
Chapter Fifteen
Rowan kept the sails lowered as they spent the next three days sailing north. While he and Caragh were ashore with Caragh’s family, Rowan ordered his crew to return his share of the treasures taken from Caragh’s village. He didn’t order his men to relinquish their own portions, but many did so. No one would admit the soft spot they’d developed for Caragh, but they would each concede that she was not a curse upon the ship. They understood their captain loved his bonnie bride, and a happy captain made for a better life for the crew.
There was other plunder in the hull that Rowan had planned to sell or trade in Portugal before he decided to sail directly back to Bedruthan Steps for Caragh to visit her family. Instead, he would sell his cargo at a familiar spot in Oban, though he dreaded going there. His past would undoubtedly catch up to him in Oban, and he wasn’t sure he’d repaired his relationship with Caragh enough to survive. Yet Rowan had little choice; he had to empty his hull if he were to raid along the coast or attack any more ships. He was still anxious about having Caragh aboard when his crew engaged in battle, but she was his wife and neither wanted her to stay with her family. Still, knowing he sailed into dangerous waters with his wife–merging his past with his future–he was in no rush to sail along the coast. With the sails down, he could delay their progress. The only person he told their destination was Keith, who manned the helm just as often as Rowan. Keith was also the only person who knew why their destination might be a problem.
* * *
Caragh found that the sennight following her wedding wasn’t much different from the time leading up to it. The main difference was her lack o
f guilt. Rowan informed her the morning after their wedding that he returned much of what he’d stolen from her neighbors. Caragh had peppered him with kisses and questions as Rowan watched the tension that had colored her expressions since their arrival evaporate. She was much like the Caragh he first met. When she came on deck, she bantered with much of the crew and enjoyed her time in the crow’s nest. She no longer seemed unsettled, looking for ways to end up over Rowan’s knee. She was grounded again, and the spankings she received were purely for their pleasure.
As they moved into Scottish water, Caragh noticed Rowan’s agitation, as though he dreaded something she couldn’t deduce.
“Rowan, what’s the matter?”
Rowan looked at his tiny wife, who barely came to the middle of his chest. He still couldn’t believe his good fortune that Caragh had forgiven the actions that nearly ruined their relationship and had agreed to marry him. She leaned her side against the rail as she looked up at him, but he kept his eyes forward, watching the open water.
“Why do you ask?”
“Are you going to answer my questions with a question?” she teased.
“Perhaps?”
“Rowan.” He recognized Caragh’s tone as one she felt comfortable using now that her future on the Lady Grace was determined. It was the temper she’d once warned him about, on the night they met, and he’d had a tiny taste twice since they married the week earlier. The first time was the morning after they married when she spied the wretched gown he’d made her wear as she searched for clothes in the chest that a crewman brought up for her. She spotted the offending item on the ground while standing naked before the chest. Rowan had been enjoying the view of her bending over, but he wasn’t prepared when she whipped around, snatched his MacNeil plaid from the foot of the bed, wrapped it around herself like a toga, and stormed out of the cabin. He’d been hot on her heels with only a leine to cover himself.
Rowan had spotted her as she ducked into the galley and bellowed for everyone to get out. He prepared to reprimand her for ordering his crew about when he entered the galley and discovered her shredding the gown with the cook’s sharpest knife. He hadn’t dared step closer as he watched her, tears streaming down her cheeks. She tossed the shreds into the only fire allowed aboard the ship. She stood before it, a stone statue, as she watched it burn. When nothing remained, she walked past Rowan as though he hadn’t been standing in the doorway. She walked calmly back to the cabin and waited for Rowan to close the door behind him before laying the plaid on the bed, and went about her morning ablutions as though she hadn’t struck fear in the hearts of hardened pirates. Now he looked at Caragh and accepted he couldn’t avoid telling her something about his plans. He would remain evasive, but he wouldn’t lie to her.
“I’m not looking forward to having to go near the mainland, but we must make a stop in Oban. I have goods to trade.”
“Why does that make you so anxious? I’m sure you’ve bartered along the coast before, and you wouldn’t be the first pirate to sail into Oban. It’s one of the most logical ports.”
“It is, but I don’t care for the city much. It’s where Ruairí and I joined the pirate ship we thought was a merchant vessel. Not wonderful memories.” Rowan wouldn’t mention that not all the memories were horrible. It was where he recovered from the fever from his time spent in the oubliette. He’d even thought he might have fallen in love there, before he realized the ship he’d been persuaded to board wasn’t a merchant ship.
Caragh nodded and turned to look out at the water. It only partly relieved Rowan that Caragh had a habit of not saying much when he spoke of his past. He appreciated that she never pressed for information he didn’t volunteer, but he understood her silence meant her rarely idle brain spun as it tried to deduce what remained unsaid. He stepped behind her and enclosed her in his arms as his hands rested on the railing.
“You don’t have to go ashore if you don’t want to. You can stay here while I conduct business.” Rowan tried to keep his voice neutral, but he realized he failed when Caragh spun in his arms, eyes sparking with emerald shards of anger.
“You’re hiding something from me.”
“Why would you say that? Do you think I hide things from you? You who knows things about me now that even Ruairí doesn’t know?”
“There seems to be a first time for everything. What aren’t you telling me?” Caragh’s gaze drilled into his blue eyes, then she ducked below his arms and marched towards the ladder well. “I don’t even want to know who she is. Just don’t smell of her when you return.”
Rowan’s stomach turned to hear Caragh’s guess, so close to the truth. He would relieve her of her misconception.
“Caragh,” he followed her into their cabin and stepped behind her as she stood staring out of the porthole. He was aware she went there to think. “Caragh, you’re mistaken, and I would make sure you understand the error in your thinking.”
“The error in my thinking? I doubt that. This is about a woman. Plain and simple. You’ve never avoided talking to me about anything, and right now you’re evading my questions.”
“I’ll tell you the entire truth, but first, you must look at me.”
Caragh looked over her shoulder at Rowan, and he recognized the same hurt he caused the disastrous night Ruairí and his men came to their cabin.
“You assume I have already betrayed you, and we haven’t even dropped anchor. Caragh, there will never, ever be another woman. There is you, and only you. I don’t need anyone else, and I certainly don’t want anyone else. I married you because I love you, and because the idea of living without you is one I can’t bear. Do you really think I would cheat on you and risk losing everything that I already nearly lost once?”
Caragh turned around but wouldn’t look at him. “I don’t know,” her hushed tones carried anguish that matched Rowan’s when he heard how little faith she had in him. “I’ve learned anything is possible with you.”
Rowan took a deep breath and looked to the ceiling. He wanted to shake Caragh and tell her to get over their past, to move on, but he knew he had no right. His actions that caused such hurt and fear in his otherwise fierce wife. He exhaled heavily as he looked down at her. Now she was staring at him.
“I understand I caused wounds that still need to heal. I would never do anything to make them worse, when all I want is for you to be happy and not regret marrying me.”
“I don’t regret it. Yet,” her voice trailed off. “You’re scaring me though.”
Rowan’s stomach twisted once again. He hadn’t wanted this for his wife, not ever, and certainly not only a sennight after they wed. “Will you sit with me?”
She nodded her head once, and Rowan led her to a chair before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You recall how very ill I’d become by the time Ruairí rescued me. I told you we found a tavern, where the owner allowed me to stay and heal. What I didn’t mention was that it was a brothel owned by a woman, and she was the one who tended me until I was well.”
Caragh tried to jump from her seat, but Rowan grasped her hands and looked pleadingly at her until she sat back down.
“Alane took better care of me than I could’ve ever hoped, and as I got better, I felt indebted to her. She made overtures once I regained much of my strength, and I didn’t turn her down.” Rowan watched as the color leeched from Caragh’s face. “Mo Caragh, please try to picture my life then. I’d nearly died running away from a clan that intended for me to rot away in a pit. More than my physical health suffered. To have someone want me, to be kind to me, made me feel like life had something worth living for.”
Caragh nodded, but Rowan could tell she still wasn’t convinced. She remained still as she waited for him to continue.
“I can’t say she became my mistress, as I’m aware Ruairí bedded her as often as I did. I’m certain he felt as indebted as I did. But she was a businesswoman first and foremost, while Ruairí and I were still impressionable lads who thought we were
falling in love with her. She plotted how to benefit from all she invested in my recovery. She’s the one who told us about the ship we joined and convinced us we would earn a good wage. She’s the reason we became indentured to my predecessor. My captain also bedded her, as did many men who sailed into Oban or lived there. They were in business together, along with him tupping her. She supplied him with men, information, and a safe place to store his bounty. After he died and I took command, I continued to sail into Oban. I availed myself of her when I visited there and continued to make money from the connection. I convinced myself she owed me the pleasure after all the punishment I received at her hand, albeit indirectly.”
“And she has no idea I exist,” Caragh cried out. “She’ll assume your arrangement stands and will try to seduce you into her bed while I remain here alone, waiting to see if I can smell her or taste her when you finally decide you can’t put off returning.”
“No!” Rowan barked. He hauled Caragh off her chair and into his lap. “No. Bluidy hell, Caragh. I am not bedding her nor is she bedding me. Damn it. You’re coming along. You’ll see what I do, and you’ll have confidence that I’m faithful to you. She’ll understand there’s nothing left but an exchange of goods and money. I’ll sever all ties to her.”
Caragh saw the anguish Rowan felt, and it was her turn to take a deep breath. “Your business is your own to conduct as you see fit. Do what you must. I’ll be here when you return.”
Rowan’s face turned a shade of red Caragh had only seen a handful of times, each time being when she angered him beyond reason. “The hell I am. Did you just condone me fucking another woman? Do you presume what’s good for the gander will be good for the goose? I’ll kill any man who touches you, so don’t imagine for a moment you’ll ever take a lover.”
“I’m not condoning anything,” Caragh seethed. “And I’m not taking a lover. I’m not the one who already has one.”
The Blond Devil of the Sea: The Highland Ladies Book Three Page 11
