She was silent, listening to whatever Jackson had to say when she suddenly stopped moving near the center of the table. “He sang to me tonight.”
The whole room went silent. The low rumblings from the phone gone while I sat there and stared at Lexi. The reality of what I’d done earlier finally settled over me.
“He sang to me earlier,” she repeated with more force in her voice.
“Holy shit,” Jackson voice exclaimed loud enough for me to hear.
I took a step back, fear about what they might ask me to do taking over. It had been one thing to let my rage fuel my outburst, but faced with picking up that guitar again, I shrank away, back into my head.
“Hold on. I’ll get him. He’s starting to freak out. I think it’s finally starting to sink in.”
I sang to her.
I’d actually picked up a guitar and sang. The racing pulse, the sweating, the trembling hands. Not one of them had happened.
But now it was all there.
My heart pounded in my chest with only the memory. My vision grayed slightly at the edges. How had I managed to push past it before?
Lexi held the phone out to me, but when I simply stood there immobile, she lifted my hand and set the phone in it, closing my fingers around it. I looked at it in my hand then at her. When I still hadn’t moved, she lifted my hand so the phone was at my ear.
“Talk to him. He’s listening whether he wants to admit it or not,” Lexi called into the phone.
“Aiden. Listen to me.”
“I can’t,” I whispered. My throat was tight. I almost didn’t get the words out.
“You can. If you sang to Lexi that’s the first step.”
I shook my head. “That was different.”
“Why did you sing to her?”
I glanced over at Lexi, my heart picking up speed. “I wanted her to know how I felt about her.”
Jackson sighed. “You’re so stuck in your head, you don’t even realize what happened.”
“What?”
“Did you ever think you would fall in love again?”
My chest tightened, my eyes still locked on Lexi. Beautiful with her long brown hair flowing around her shoulders. Her blue eyes shining with love. My best friend and so much more. “No.”
“Exactly—”
“But,” I cut him off before he could continue, “Lexi is different. I’ve known her my entire life.”
“And you’ve had a guitar in your hands almost your entire life.”
“That’s different.”
“You’re right. Falling in love again is a whole lot harder.”
My chest tightened. It didn’t seem as hard as stepping out on that stage again. “I don’t think I can.”
Lexi let go of the phone. When she came back again, she pushed the neck of the guitar into my hand.
“You can do this.”
I dropped the phone from my ear and stared at the guitar. How had it seemed so simple to pick it up earlier? Now, I stared at it like it would attack me any minute.
Lexi ducked down, catching my attention. “Sing to me. Don’t think about the Violet Obsession songs, just sing to me.”
She took the phone from my hand and stepped back, sitting on the edge of the table.
I looked at the guitar, the whole thing vibrating as my hands shook. Then back at her.
“Please,” she mouthed.
One breath.
Two breaths.
Slowly, I lifted it into my hands and placed my fingers on the strings, just like I did before. I closed my eyes and thought about my feelings for Lexi. How she made me see the sun again. That there was life after devastating loss. That I could love again.
Blue eyes that sparkled like the ocean reflecting the sun.
Her warm smile.
The love she’d shown me in every moment she spent pulling me from the darkest depths.
A melody filled my head and I let it flow through my fingers. The song taking shape.
I played the last cord and opened my eyes again.
“Holy fuck.” Jackson’s voice came from the phone that now sat next to Lexi’s leg. I let my gaze wander up and found her face streaked with tears.
The guitar fell to the couch, forgotten as I dropped to my knees in front of her, cupping her face in my hands. I brushed the tears from her face with my thumbs.
“I can’t—”
Lexi covered my lips with her finger. “You just did.”
“That was fucking beautiful. I knew you still had it in you.” Then Jackson sighed. “But…”
The tone of his voice had me pulling my gaze from Lexi’s and turning my attention to the phone. “What do you mean but?”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lexi shrug, her eyes also focused on the phone.
“Miles is already playing with Cerulean Dream.”
“What?” All of the air felt like it had been sucked out of my lungs. The panic was nothing compared to the weight that now sat on my chest.
“Sorry, man. He was the one who suggested they go their own ways. He got a call from them a few weeks ago. It’s been a year. You can’t blame him.”
Lexi took my hand with hers, linking our fingers together. I drew strength and comfort from her touch. “I don’t. I get that he couldn’t wait for me forever.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat to get out the question I knew needed to be asked. “What about Kylee and Dylan?”
“They still haven’t found anything, but they’ve been looking. A few bites here and there. Just…whatever you decide, be sure. If you go back to salvage what’s left of Violet Obsession, you owe it to them to step out on that stage no matter how much it freaks you out. If you plan to stay away, let them go. They deserve that.”
“I know they do.” It might be hard to accept, but I had no right to be mad about them moving on.
“Go talk to Lexi. You have a lot of decisions to make. Think about it. And, Lex?”
I glanced over at her. “Yeah?” she asked.
“I told you so.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so smug.”
He chuckled. “Sometimes I just can’t help myself.”
I glanced between the phone and her. “I’ll explain later.”
Nodding, I lifted the phone, taking it off speaker. “Look, don’t say anything to them yet. You’re right, they deserve all or nothing. And I need to figure out if tonight was a one-time thing with all of the emotions riding high, or if I can do it again.”
“I think you can. But you’re right, you need to figure that out first. Anything else isn’t fair to them.”
“Thanks, Jackson. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“I’m sorry such an awesome day had to end on such a shitty note.” His voice was somber.
My eyes connected with Lexi’s. “Not so shitty. I’d have to say some pretty good things happened today.”
“I’m glad it finally did. Have a good night, man.”
Jackson and I disconnected the call. I set the phone on the table and dropped down onto the couch, my whole body weary. The last thirty minutes had been more exhausting than the whole day.
“I’m sorry about not telling you.”
I slid across the couch next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight to my side. “It’s not your fault. Jackson made you promise and I can see why. I don’t think it would have made a difference a few weeks ago. Hell, even a week ago.”
“But it makes a difference now?”
“I’m not sure. Honestly, I’m not sure what to think.” Letting go of her, I sighed and leaned against the back of the couch with my arm resting over my eyes.
“I should’ve told you sooner.”
“You definitely should have.” I moved my arm to look at her.
She whirled around to look at me. “I know I should have, but how was I supposed to say it? Hey, Aiden your band is done without you, so sorry.”
I sat up and cupped her face with my hands. “That’s not what I’m
talking about. You should have told me how you were feeling. Is that why you’ve been running yourself ragged the last few weeks?”
Her eyes darted away. “I didn’t know how to tell you and honestly didn’t think you felt the same way about me.”
“I’ve been dreaming about you almost every night.”
Her eyes widened. “I didn’t want to hurt you if you didn’t feel the same.”
I caressed her cheek with my thumb. “You spend all your time worrying about other people. When are you going to start worrying about yourself?”
“Now you sound like my mom.”
“Then I think she’s a pretty smart woman. Is that what Jackson was talking about?”
She nodded. “When he called to tell me about the band a week ago, he called me out for working too much and hiding from you. I told him everything, but only after he called me Alexandra.”
I winced. I knew how much she’d hated that name her whole life.
“I know, I know. I thought about punching him for that. But then he threatened to tell you today if I didn’t do it before now.”
I shook my head. “He didn’t say a word.”
“I know. I begged him not to.”
I brought my other hand up to her face and lowered my mouth to hers, taking a simple kiss. “I’m glad you told me.”
“Me too.” A yawn slipped past her lips. “I think I better head home tonight, before I’m too tried to drive.” She moved to stand, but I stopped her.
“Stay with me tonight.”
“I don’t know—”
I placed my finger over her lips. “Just say yes. We’ve spent countless hours together over the last four months, hell, since we were kids. What’s the difference if you stay here tonight? I want you to stay in my bed with me, but if it makes you feel more comfortable you can stay in one of the guest rooms.”
She shook her head. “I know you have a lot to think about.”
“And I’d like to think about it with you here. You’re the only reason I picked that guitar up again tonight.”
Indecision warred across her face. It seemed like I stood there forever as I waited for her to decide. When she finally nodded, a rush of air left my lungs. I reached out a hand to her. Small, warm fingers slipped into mine where they felt so right.
I led her up the stairs into my bedroom. She glanced around the room, like she didn’t know what to do. I wrapped my arms around her from behind. She melted into my embrace so easily.
“If you don’t want to stay here, I can take you to the room across from Chloe.”
She titled her head to the side. “I’ll stay with you.” Her voice a whisper of what it had been downstairs. “But I don’t have anything to sleep in.”
“Let me grab you a T-shirt to change into, then I’ll go check on Chloe.”
She snuggled even deeper into my embrace. “Okay.”
I grabbed a shirt from the drawer and handed it to her. When she wrapped her fingers around it, I tugged a little, bringing her flush against my body. Her eyes flashed for a moment, as I lowered my lips to hers. They were soft against mine and I didn’t think I’d ever grow tired of the taste of her.
Knowing how tired she was, I slowly broke the connection. Otherwise, I knew I could spend the whole night getting lost in her. “You’re so beautiful.”
I stepped back toward the door, my eyes never leaving hers. The T-shirt now lying forgotten on the bed. “I’ll be right back, but you don’t have to wait for me to lie down.”
As she reached for the discarded shirt, I did one last check on Chloe, caressing her face, before slipping out of the room again, shutting the door quietly.
I hustled back to my room, where I found Lexi already sound asleep. Her face looked so peaceful as I brushed a few loose hairs from her face.
After getting myself ready for bed, I climbed beneath the covers. My heart soared when Lexi snuggled closer to me. I thought maybe she’d woken up, but when I looked down she was still sound asleep. It seemed her subconscious wanted her to be as close to me as I wanted her to be.
I curled my arm around her and shut off the light. With the house quiet, all of the revelations for the day came rushing to the front of my mind.
Lexi loved me.
On a subconscious level, I knew I’d been falling for her over the last few months. The dreams made so much more sense now. Our relationship was easy. Everything just fit and I’d been so lost in the comfort she gave me, I hadn’t realized that she did it because she loved me. The time had come for me to push aside my fear and let my own love for Lexi shine. Let her feel it and hear it from me.
That was the easy problem to deal with.
Violet Obsession was another issue entirely.
Did I really want the band to fall apart because of me?
Miles had already left.
If I decided to go back, would there be anything left to save?
Did I want to save it?
These questions swirled through my head as I stared at the ceiling in the dark.
I glanced down at Lexi as she used my chest as a pillow. At least one of us would get some sleep tonight.
27
Lexi
Aiden held me tight to him, the warmth of his body seeping into mine. I was warm and content to sleep forever if the dream I’d found myself in never ended. I snuggled in closer.
A warm, rich chuckle hit my ears and I froze.
It was too real for a dream.
Oh, God.
Slowly, I let my eyelids flutter open. The last remaining bits of sleep still clouding my memory. A man’s torso came into view, but it was the tattoos that caught my attention.
I knew that ink.
My gaze slid up his body until my eyes connected with the gray ones watching me.
Aiden.
Blood rushed to my face and I tried to scramble off him, but he held me tighter.
“Where are you running off to?”
“I’m sorry, I just…” I glanced around the room, trying to get my bearings. I pushed up to look down at him.
Aiden reached up and caressed my face. “Do you remember last night at all?”
I started to shake my head, but then it began to clear. The argument, the song, the kiss, it all came back to me in a rush. My hand flew to my lips.
“You kissed me last night.” I sat fully upright. “You sang again last night.”
A smirk lifted the corner of his lips. “Yes, I did all those things last night and if you’d come back down here, I’d like to kiss you again.”
“I…” I started to protest, until Aiden curled his hand around my nape and used a bit of pressure to bring my mouth to his. His lips devoured mine. Tasting, teasing. He slid his tongue into my mouth, tangling with mine in a toe-curling kiss. My head swam, lost in a sea of disbelief and pleasuring.
Can this actually be happening to me?
Aiden kissed me passionately, sending desire sizzling along my nerves. I moved the hand I had braced against his chest, sliding it up his chest and into his hair.
Holding me tight to his body, he rolled until I lay beneath him. My mind was a blur of emotions. Aiden’s mouth possessed me as he pressed his lower body into mine. His hardened length easy to feel through the thin fabric of our underwear.
A voice in the back of my mind called out to me. Is he really ready for this? I ignored it as his fingers caressed up the bare skin of my thigh, making me tremble beneath him. When he broke the connection of our lips, sitting up and reaching for the hem of the T-shirt, the voice in my head grew even louder.
It will kill you if he regrets this later and you didn’t stop to ask.
The need to have Aiden this way overwhelmed me, but I had to make sure we were both there and this wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction. I placed my hands on his, stopping him from lifting the shirt any higher.
His gaze snapped to mine, brows drawn together. “Did I do something wrong?”
He started to move away, but I tightened my grip on his hand
s to keep him near. “No. But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t make sure you’re really okay with this before it goes any further.”
His gaze softened and he lowered his head, taking a quick kiss. “I’ve been awake all night thinking about you. About us. About everything that happened last night. I can’t keep living in the past. Life will be miserable if I do that. I want to be happy. I want us to be happy…together. I want to be with you in every way, but if you want to wait, want me to prove that I’m really in this with you, we can do that too.”
I cradled his face in mine and sat up to take his lips. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
I reached down and gripped the hem of the shirt, pulling it over my head. I dropped it to the ground and waited as his eyes roamed over my bare skin. His eyes dropped to the words on my ribs.
He ran his fingers over the script lettering. “I didn’t know you had any ink. When did you get this?”
Love will find you when the time is right.
“After I got to college. I wanted something to remind me that I was special. That I’d find the right person someday.”
His eyes shimmered in the light starting to seep through the blinds. I tugged him down from me, dislodging his hand from my side, and kissed him, hoping to bring his attention back to me. Back to this moment and out of the past.
He lifted his head and stared down at me. “I’m sorry I hurt—”
I pressed my fingers against his lips. “You said you didn’t want to live in the past. That is the past. Yes, I got the tattoo when I left, but it wasn’t about you.”
“It was. I broke your heart.”
“No. How could you break my heart when you had no idea how I felt? It was my way of telling myself I’d find the right person someday. I honestly never thought it would be you.”
“Looks like the right time is now.”
He kissed my lips lightly, then kept moving down my body. He ran his tongue down between my breasts until he reached the tattoo. A shiver raced down my back as he pressed his lips to words that had pushed me forward at a time in my life when I thought I’d been destined to be with someone else. That Aiden and I would find happiness with others. I didn’t realize at the time it would end up being us together.
Last and Forever Page 18
