“Do you regret it?”
Carol shook her head. “I don’t have any regrets for my life. I lived the life I wanted to live at the time, and I did the best I could. But your father was forced to improvise into a life he may not have wanted. Do you see what I mean?”
“No.”
“Does Paul want to marry you?” she asked, taking Rebecca’s hand.
“He brought it up.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but if you’re not going to marry him, make sure you both understand what it means.”
“He says he’s fine with it.”
Carol leaned forward, dropping her voice. “I never mentioned it, and I don’t think he did either, but I nearly lost your father in Africa. I pushed him too far and demanded too much. Just remember that a relationship can’t survive if you don’t put in what you take.” Carol looked away, blinking. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you that. I guess I lied. I do have regrets.”
“Oh, Mom…” Rebecca squeezed Carol’s fingers.
Carol took a deep breath and turned back to her daughter. She smiled, ignoring the sting in her eyes. “Look at me, getting all emotional. Maybe it’s just nerves.”
Rebecca returned her smile. “Maybe.”
“But you’ll think about what I said?”
“I’ll think about it, Mom.”
Carol released her hand. “Good. Now, do you think I can find a decent pair of shoes in this place?”
Rebecca stood. “There’s only way to find out.”
* * * *
“Daniel?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you awake?”
“I guess so.”
Carol turned to face him, though she couldn’t see him in the darkness. “I talked to Rebecca about Paul today.”
“I’m sure she appreciated hearing your opinion on the subject.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“Yes.”
Carol lightly hit his chest. “Well, I think I made an impression on her.”
“Good.”
“Don’t you even care what impression I made on her?”
“You want her to get married, don’t you?”
“Well…yes.”
He pulled her against him, wrapping his arm around her waist. She sighed lightly, settling her head against his solid chest. “I hope the impression you made was that you loved her and supported her no matter what.”
“Of course.”
Daniel ran his fingers through her hair. “Then don’t worry about her. She’ll make the decision that’s right for her.”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
He yawned. “I’m always right. Now go to sleep.”
Carol returned his yawn. “I think I’m almost there.”
She fell into dreams of the little church in Mountain Grove and Daniel wearing his old tuxedo. She slept peacefully through the night.
Chapter 13
Mountain Grove, Idaho
1988
Daniel, a knot in his throat, watched the small church fill with people. He kept hoping Patricia and Bradford would walk through the door, but of course, they didn’t. He didn’t recognize many of the faces at all, but everybody seemed to know him. They shook his hand, kissed his cheek, and wished him the most heartfelt congratulations before finding their seats. Most of them hadn’t been formally invited, but word got around once Daniel had returned to the Grove, and he was happy to see them.
Rebecca circulated among the guests, introducing herself to the people she didn’t recognize and preening under their compliments. She had worked closely with the florists while Carol and Daniel had taken a walk down memory lane, and her attention to detail showed.
Paul sat on the front pew, looking pale. It almost looked like he was about to march down the aisle himself. “Mind if I join you?” Daniel asked.
Paul looked up, smiling a little. “Of course not.” He didn’t stay focused on Daniel for long. Soon, his eyes drifted back to Rebecca, who was in the middle of a lively discussion with a woman Daniel didn’t recognize.
“She looks nice, doesn’t she?” Daniel asked. “She gets it from her mother.”
Paul nodded. “Yeah, she really does.”
“Are you okay, son? You look a little green around the gills,” Daniel said good-naturedly.
Paul pulled a ring out of his pocket. “I was going to propose this weekend, but then she announced she didn’t plan on getting married the other day at breakfast and I…” He shrugged, shoving the box into his pocket. “I just didn’t expect to hear that.”
Daniel smiled sympathetically. “Does she expect you to ask?”
“I don’t know.”
He clapped the other man on the back. “It can’t hurt to try.”
“Does that mean you approve?” Paul asked, his smile lopsided and hopeful.
“I’m in a very agreeable mood today,” Daniel said amiably. He opened his mouth to offer more advice, but a strong hand grabbing his shoulder stopped him.
“Daniel! There you are!”
He turned to the familiar voice. “Roger, I was getting worried.”
Roger smiled, his face jolly and red. “I just got a little lost. Your directions were awful, as usual. Who’s this?”
Daniel stood. “Roger, this is Rebecca’s friend, Paul. Paul, this is my foreman, and today my best man, Roger.”
Roger extended his meaty hand, completely overwhelming Paul’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. You a doctor, too?”
Paul returned Roger’s infectious, warm smile. “I am.”
Roger elbowed Daniel in the ribs. “She could do worse. Now, where’s the blushing bride?”
“I think she’s doing her hair,” Daniel said. “You can just sit here, if you’d like, and make yourself comfortable.”
“I think I will,” Roger said, joining Paul on the pew. “I couldn’t believe it when I heard these two were finally getting married.”
“Have you known them for long?” Paul asked politely.
“Oh for years. In fact…”
Daniel wandered away to the small gift table, touched to see so many gifts on such short notice. He touched them lightly, reading each of the cards with a thoughtful smile.
“It’s something, huh?”
Daniel looked over his shoulder, trying to place the unfamiliar woman’s face. Her skin was paper-thin and loose on her cheekbones, and her eyes had faded to a nondescript shade of gray. “It is.”
She smiled. Her voice trembled slightly. “You don’t recognize me, do you?”
“I don’t, I’m ashamed to admit.”
“Judy Young. I was in your mother’s choral group.”
Daniel tilted his head, studying her face. The rough grating quality of her voice pinged his memory first, and his eyes lit with recognition. “Judy! Of course, I remember you. How are you?”
She rubbed her fingers. “I’ve been better. The arthritis, you know. The winters are getting worse up here.” Her smile was as thin as her lips. “When I heard you were here again, I had to see you.”
“I’m glad you could come,” he said, gently taking her arm. “Let me help you find a seat.”
She nodded, but didn’t move immediately. “They all miss Patricia and Pastor Thorn so much. I think we all expected to see them marry one day.”
Daniel reeled back. “What?”
“Well, it was no secret that they were rather fond of each other,” Judy said with a light titter.
Daniel shook his head, unsure he understood correctly. Patricia had never indicated that she was interested in Bradford, and Bradford certainly never seemed to be interested in anything except his work.
“I guess it wasn’t,” Daniel murmured, directing her toward the second row. “Why don’t you sit here so you can have a clear view?”
She patted his arm. “It’s so good to see you again, Daniel.”
“Dad!” Rebecca gasped, hurrying to his side. “Oh, Dad, I think there’s a p
roblem.”
His heart stopped. “What?”
“Mom won’t come out of the cabin! We’re supposed to start any minute and she has…”
He didn’t stick around to hear the rest of Rebecca’s statement. He hurried out of the church and up the hill, driven by fear and a little anger. They did not come this far only to back out now.
Daniel started pounding on the door as soon as he reached the cabin, his face red, his chest heaving. “Carol! Carol, open the door!”
“It’s unlocked!”
He burst into the room, prepared for a confrontation. He wasn’t prepared for Carol’s tears, or the make-up streaming down her face, or the large red stain in the middle of her new dress.
“What’s going on? Rebecca said there was a problem.”
Carol nodded miserably, gesturing at the stain. “I was just having a bit of wine and I’m such a klutz, I poured it all over myself. And now my dress is ruined.”
“Is that all?” he asked as relief washed through him.
“Is that all? Isn’t that enough? What am I going to do?”
He looked around, noticing that the cabin hadn’t changed much since the last time they’d visited. “Did anybody clean the house out after Bradford…?”
Carol shook her head. “I kept insisting I’d do it, and the new pastor built a house in the town proper. Complete with running water. Can you believe it?”
He smirked. “What is the world coming to? Come on, maybe we can find something to wear over the dress.”
“What? One of his old shirts?” she asked bitterly.
“If it comes down to it,” he said, taking her hand and dragging her to the bedroom.
Carol watched as he flung open the wardrobe doors and started pulling out dozens of identical white shirts. He emptied it without finding a single appropriate thing. “Didn’t he keep any of your mother’s things? I suppose we could look through Mom’s old clothes, if we have to.”
Carol snapped her fingers, her face clearing at the mention of her mother. “I think I know the perfect thing.”
She pulled a trunk from beneath the bed, carefully taking the clothes from it and placing them on the bed. She was nearly at the bottom of the trunk when she triumphantly held up a white shawl. “I had completely forgotten about it until you mentioned my mother.”
“Well, try it on.”
She pulled it over her shoulders. It was long enough to easily cover the stain, and it matched her dress nicely. “I think you saved our wedding day.”
He sighed. “Thank goodness.” He held out his arm. “May I escort you?”
“I think Rebecca was supposed to walk me down the aisle,” she said, sliding her arm through his.
“I think I’d like to walk you myself.” He kissed her cheek. “You look breathtaking.”
“Even with my smudged make-up and raccoon eyes?” she asked, grimacing.
He wiped away a bit of black with his thumb. “Perfect, even.”
“I think I’m ready, Daniel.”
He beamed and led her to the door.
* * * *
Mountain Grove, Idaho
1951
“I didn’t think you’d meet me,” Carol whispered in the darkness. She stepped out of the trees onto the path, lightly touching his shoulder. “I know it was short notice.”
“You said it was important,” Daniel whispered back. He picked a leaf out of her hair. “I figured it must be, if you were willing to wander around after dark by yourself.”
Carol nodded toward their stump. “Let’s sit down.”
“What’s going on? Why couldn’t you tell me this afternoon?”
She looked down. “Because it’s easier to tell you in the dark.”
“Tell me what?”
“I’ve decided to leave for San Francisco.”
“When?” he asked, his hand on her knee.
“When you leave. I can’t stay here if you’re going to be gone, Daniel. I can’t. I’d rather die.” She clutched his hand. “There’s nothing for me here without you.”
“I’ll stay,” he said quickly. “Mom gave me permission to enlist, but she’s not happy about it.”
Carol cupped his cheek with her free hand. “Do you want to stay here?” she asked intently. “Do you want to stay in the Grove all your life?”
“No. I think enlisting now is the right thing to do.”
She leaned forward, until their mouths were just an inch apart, and their breath mingled. “I’ll write to you every day, Daniel Scambray, and I’ll wait for you.”
“You promise?”
“On my life. Will you wait for me, too?”
“Until when?”
“Until I’m ready.”
“I promise on my life.” He sealed the deal with a chaste, sweet kiss.
* * * *
Mountain Grove, Idaho
1988
Carol stood in front of the man who wasn’t her father and thought she might cry. She didn’t recognize the new pastor at all. She couldn’t even remember his name. He droned on, his voice floating above her head. She gripped Daniel’s arm, grateful he was there and solid.
Behind her, the crowd rustled quietly—feet tapped against the floor, women adjusted their skirts, men straightened their jackets. She even caught a few whispered exchanged. Resisting the urge to look over her shoulder, she imagined Rebecca and Paul sitting in the front pew, their hands entwined.
“And now, Daniel and Carol would like to recite their own vows,” the pastor announced. She wished she knew his name. “Carol.”
They turned to face each other, clasping hands. Carol could see awe and reverence reflected in Daniel’s eyes and her heart swelled. She opened her mouth, but suddenly the vows she had scripted the week before were gone. Blinking, she tried desperately to recall the words, but she could only see a blank piece of paper, waiting to be filled. The air seemed heavy against her skin as the seconds dragged.
“Daniel,” she finally said, her voice raw, “I had a whole speech prepared. I didn’t bring my notes because I thought I could remember. I can’t. I’ll just tell you what I do remember. I remember when you walked me home the night we met, and I remember that you promised bears wouldn’t eat me. I remember you promising me you’d wait for me. I remember when you rescued me, and when you loved me, and the first time you held Rebecca. I remember the nights I hurt so bad I didn’t think I could go on, and I’d read your letters, and everything felt right again.” She paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath.
“I should have told you every single day how much I love you, how much I appreciate you, how special you are. I hope I can make up for my mistakes with my statement today, and I promise to tell you every day…” She paused again, finding it difficult to speak past the tears now streaming down her face. “I promise to tell you…” She smiled weakly, looking away, embarrassed.
Daniel caught her chin, lifting her face until she met his eyes. He smiled encouragingly, and the rest of the room fell away, leaving the two of them as the only people in the universe.
“I promise to tell you every day how happy you make me, and how much I love you,” she whispered.
A single tear rolled down Daniel’s cheek, falling lightly onto his lapel. He wiped his face, looking at her with dark eyes. She could read every emotion there, and she knew it would be difficult for him to find his voice. A part of her had always seen marriage as something too huge to even comprehend, and a part of her had always been completely indifferent. Her ambivalence was swept away under the weight of his gaze as she realized their lives had been leading to this moment. Since the second they’d met, their paths had been set.
“You’ve always wanted to show me the world,” he began, “and I don’t think you ever understood that, as far as I’m concerned, you are the world. I love you because you love the world, Carol. I love you because you can play the piano and you understand harmony. I love your passion, your dedication, and your smile. When you walked into my life, I didn’t
know what to expect. I just knew you were different, and you were wonderful.” It was Daniel’s turn to look away as he composed himself. Seeing another tear on his cheek made her eyes water again.
“You were always worth the wait, and I couldn’t be happier than I am today, standing here with you.” He cleared his throat. “I would wait another hundred years just to have the privilege to call you my wife. I promise I’ll show you every single day how much that privilege means to me.”
“The rings,” the pastor said, his voice gentle but heavy.
Rebecca stood, balancing a small pillow with the rings in the middle. Her own tears fell on the pillow as she waited for her parents to take their rings.
Carol recited the proper words and slid Daniel’s ring over his finger. He had bought it soon after Rebecca was born, Carol remembered. She had thought it was so ugly then, but now she was happy he had kept the simple silver band all those years.
Carol gasped when she saw the ring Daniel slid over her finger. She recognized the emeralds from Patricia’s wedding ring, but they were in a new setting with a solitaire diamond tucked between the stones. “It’s beautiful.”
He merely smiled.
The pastor announced them as husband and wife.
Carol caught her breath. The words she had been running from her entire life hung around them, echoing in her ears like the reverberations from a deep bell. It didn’t hurt like she thought it would.
In fact, it felt pretty good.
Daniel cupped her face with both hands, wiping away her new tears with his thumbs. Slowly, he sealed their promises with a chaste, sweet kiss.
Carol smiled against his mouth. “I think we can do better than that after thirty-eight years, don’t you?”
He returned her smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
He kissed her again, exploring the curves of her mouth as though they had never touched before. He delicately moved his lips against her, but she could still sense the hunger in his touch. She returned the kiss, holding the back of his head as she wordlessly repeated her vows to him. She allowed her emotions to overtake her, a heady combination of excitement and fear and trust and love and hope, and the wave washed them both away.
The guests actually applauded when Daniel finally lifted his head.
Engaging Carol Page 20
