She looked puzzled, intrigued by his mood.
“Mistress Winthrop,” he resumed, with an entire change of voice. “To speak of this trifle is but a subterfuge of yours to prevent me from expressing my deep gratitude for your care of me.”
“Indeed, no—” she began.
“Indeed, yes,” said he. “How can this compare with what you have done for me? For I have learnt how greatly it is to you, yourself, that I owe my recovery — the saving of my life.”
“Ah, but that is not true. It—”
“Let me think so, whether it be true or not,” he implored her, eyes between tenderness and whimsicality intent upon her face. “Let me believe it, for the belief has brought me happiness — the greatest happiness, I think, that I have ever known. I can know but one greater, and that—”
He broke off suddenly, and she observed that the hand he had stretched out trembled a moment ere it was abruptly lowered again. It was as a man who had reached forth to grasp something that he craves, and checked his desire upon a sudden thought.
She felt oddly stirred, despite herself, and oddly constrained. It may have been to disguise this that she half turned to the table, saying: “You were about to smoke when I came.” And she took up his pipe and tobacco — jar to offer them.
“Ah, but since you’ve come, I would not dream,” he said.
She looked at him. The complete change of topic permitted it. “If I desired you so to do?” she inquired, and added: “I love the fragrance of it.”
He raised his brows. “Fragrance?” quoth he. “My Lady Ostermore has another word for it.” He took the pipe and jar from her. “’Tis no humoring, this, of a man you imagine sick — no silly chivalry of yours?” he questioned doubtfully. “Did I think that, I’d never smoke another pipe again.”
She shook her head, and laughed at his solemnity. “I love the fragrance,” she repeated.
“Ah! Why, then, I’ll pleasure you,” said he, with the air of one conferring favors, and filled his pipe. Presently he spoke again in a musing tone. “In a week or so, I shall be well enough to travel.”
“’Tis your intent to travel?” she inquired.
He set down the jar, and reached for the tinderbox. “It is time I was returning home,” he explained.
“Ah, yes. Your home is in France.”
“At Maligny; the sweetest nook in Normandy. ’Twas my mother’s birthplace, and ’twas there she died.”
“You have felt the loss of her, I make no doubt.”
“That might have been the case if I had known her,” answered he. “But as it is, I never did. I was but two years old — she, herself, but twenty — when she died.”
He pulled at his pipe in silence a moment or two, his face overcast and thoughtful. A shallower woman would have broken in with expressions of regret; Hortensia offered him the nobler sympathy of silence. Moreover, she had felt from his tone that there was more to come; that what he had said was but the preface to some story that he desired her to be acquainted with. And presently, as she expected, he continued.
“She died, Mistress Winthrop, of a broken heart. My father had abandoned her two years and more before she died. In those years of repining — ay, and worse, of actual want — her health was broken so that, poor soul, she died.”
“O pitiful!” cried Hortensia, pain in her face.
“Pitiful, indeed — the more pitiful that her death was a source of some slight happiness to those who loved her; the only happiness they could have in her was to know that she was at rest.”
“And — and your father?”
“I am coming to him. My mother had a friend — a very noble, lofty-minded gentleman who had loved her with a great and honest love before the profligate who was my father came forward as a suitor. Recognizing in the latter — as he thought in his honest heart — a man in better case to make her happy, this gentleman I speak of went his ways. He came upon her afterwards, broken and abandoned, and he gathered up the poor shards of her shattered life, and sought with tender but unavailing hands to piece them together again. And when she died he vowed to stand my friend and to make up to me for the want I had of parents. ’Tis by his bounty that to-day I am lord of Maligny that was for generations the property of my mother’s people. ’Tis by his bounty and loving care that I am what I am, and not what so easily I might have become had the seed sown by my father been allowed to put out shoots.”
He paused, as if bethinking himself, and looked at her with a wistful, inquiring smile. “But why plague you,” he cried, “with this poor tale of yesterday that will be forgot to-morrow?”
“Nay — ah, nay,” she begged, and put out a hand in impulsive sympathy to touch his own, so transparent now in its emaciation. “Tell me; tell me!”
His smile softened. He sighed gently and continued. “This gentleman who adopted me lived for one single purpose, with one single aim in view — to avenge my mother, whom he had loved, upon the man whom she had loved and who had so ill repaid her. He reared me for that purpose, as much, I think, as out of any other feeling. Thirty years have sped, and still the hand of the avenger has not fallen upon my father. It should have fallen a month ago; but I was weak; I hesitated; and then this sword-thrust put me out of all case of doing what I had crossed from France to do.”
She looked at him with something of horror in her face. “Were you — were you to have been the instrument?” she inquired. “Were you to have avenged this thing upon your own father?”
He nodded slowly. “’Twas to that end that I was reared,” he answered, and put aside his pipe, which had gone out. “The spirit of revenge was educated into me until I came to look upon revenge as the best and holiest of emotions; until I believed that if I failed to wreak it I must be a craven and a dastard. All this seemed so until the moment came to set my hand to the task. And then—” He shrugged.
“And then?” she questioned.
“I couldn’t. The full horror of it burst upon me. I saw the thing in its true and hideous proportions, and it revolted me.”
“It must have been so,” she approved him.
“I told my foster-father; but I met with neither sympathy nor understanding. He renewed his old-time arguments, and again he seemed to prove to me that did I fail I should be false to my duty and to my mother’s memory — a weakling, a thing of shame.”
“The monster! Oh, the monster! He is an evil man for all that you have said of him.”
“Not so. There is no nobler gentleman in all the world. I who know him, know that. It is through the very nobility of it that this warp has come into his nature. Sane in all things else, he is — I see it now, I understand it at last — insane on this one subject. Much brooding has made him mad upon this matter — a fanatic whose gospel is Vengeance, and, like all fanatics, he is harsh and intolerant when resisted on the point of his fanaticism. This is something I have come to realize in these past days, when I lay with naught else to do but ponder.
“In all things else he sees as deep and clear as any man; in this his vision is distorted. He has looked at nothing else for thirty years; can you wonder that his sight is blurred?”
“He is to be pitied then,” she said, “deeply to be pitied.”
“True. And because I pitied him, because I valued his regard-however mistaken he might be — above all else, I was hesitating again — this time between my duty to myself and my duty to him. I was so hesitating — though I scarce can doubt which had prevailed in the end — when came this sword-thrust so very opportunely to put me out of case of doing one thing or the other.”
“But now that you are well again?” she asked.
“Now that I am well again — I thank Heaven that it will be too late. The opportunity that was ours is lost. His — my father should now be beyond our power.”
There ensued a spell of silence. He sat with eyes averted from her face — those eyes which she had never known other than whimsical and mocking, now full of gloom and pain — riveted upon the gla
re of sunshine on the pond out yonder. A great sympathy welled up from her heart for this man whom she was still far from understanding, and who, nevertheless — because of it, perhaps, for there is much fascination in that which puzzles — was already growing very dear to her. The story he had told her drew her infinitely closer to him, softening her heart for him even more perhaps than it had already been softened when she had seen him — as she had thought — upon the point of dying. A wonder flitted through her mind as to why he had told her; then another question surged. She gave it tongue.
“You have told me so much, Mr. Caryll,” she said, “that I am emboldened to ask something more.” His eyes invited her to put her question. “Your — your father? Was he related to Lord Ostermore?”
Not a muscle of his face moved. “Why that?” he asked.
“Because your name is Caryll,” said she.
“My name?” he laughed softly and bitterly. “My name?” He reached for an ebony cane that stood beside his chair. “I had thought you understood.” He heaved himself to his feet, and she forgot to caution him against exertion. “I have no right to any name,” he told her. “My father was a man too full of worldly affairs to think of trifles. And so it befell that before he went his ways he forgot to marry the poor lady who was my mother. I might take what name I chose. I chose Caryll. But you will understand, Mistress Winthrop,” and he looked her fully in the face, attempting in vain to dissemble the agony in his eyes — he who a little while ago had been almost happy— “that if ever it should happen that I should come to love a woman who is worthy of being loved, I who am nameless have no name to offer her.”
Revelation illumined her mind as in a flash. She looked at him.
“Was — was that what you meant, that day we thought you dying, when you said to me — for it was to me you spoke, to me alone — that it was better so?”
He inclined his head. “That is what I meant,” he answered.
Her lids drooped; her cheeks were very white, and he remarked the swift, agitated surge of her bosom, the fingers that were plucking at one another in her lap. Without looking up, she spoke again. “If you had the love to offer, what would the rest matter? What is a name that it should weigh so much?”
“Heyday!” He sighed, and smiled very wistfully. “You are young, child. In time you will understand what place the world assigns to such men as I. It is a place I could ask no woman to share. Such as I am, could I speak of love to any woman?”
“Yet you spoke of love once to me,” she reminded him, scarcely above her breath, and stabbed him with the recollection.
“In an hour of moonshine, an hour of madness, when I was a reckless fool that must give tongue to every impulse. You reproved me then in just the terms my case deserved. Hortensia,” he bent towards her, leaning on his cane, “’tis very sweet and merciful in you to recall it without reproach. Recall it no more, save to think with scorn of the fleering coxcomb who was so lost to the respect that is due to so sweet a lady. I have told you so much of myself to-day that you may.”
“Decidedly,” came a shrill, ironical voice from the arbor’s entrance, “I may congratulate you, sir, upon the prodigious strides of your recovery.”
Mr. Caryll straightened himself from his stooping posture, turned and made Lady Ostermore a bow, his whole manner changed again to that which was habitual to him. “And no less decidedly, my lady,” said he with a tight-lipped smile, “may I congratulate your ladyship’s son upon that happy circumstance, which is — as I have learned — so greatly due to the steps your ladyship took — for which I shall be ever grateful — to ensure that I should be made whole again.”
CHAPTER XIII. THE FORLORN HOPE
Her ladyship stood a moment, leaning upon her cane, her head thrown back, her thin lip curling, and her eyes playing over Mr. Caryll with a look of dislike that she made no attempt to dissemble.
Mr. Caryll found the situation redolent with comedy. He had a quick eye for such matters; so quick an eye that he deplored on the present occasion her ladyship’s entire lack of a sense of humor. But for that lamentable shortcoming, she might have enjoyed with him the grotesqueness of her having — she, who disliked him so exceedingly — toiled and anguished, robbed herself of sleep, and hoped and prayed with more fervor, perhaps, than she had ever yet hoped and prayed for anything, that his life might be spared.
Her glance shifted presently from him to Hortensia, who had risen and who stood in deep confusion at having been so found by her ladyship, and in deep agitation still arising from the things he had said and from those which he had been hindered from adding by the coming of the countess.
The explanations that had been interrupted might never be renewed; she felt they never would be; he would account that he had said enough; since he was determined to ask for nothing. And unless the matter were broached again, what chance had she of combatting his foolish scruples; for foolish she accounted them; they were of no weight with her, unless, indeed, to heighten the warm feeling that already she had conceived for him.
Her ladyship moved forward a step or two, her fan going gently to and fro, stirring the barbs of the white plume that formed part of her tall head-dress.
“What were you doing here, child?” she inquired, very coldly.
Mistress Winthrop looked up — a sudden, almost scared glance it was.
“I, madam? Why — I was walking in the garden, and seeing Mr. Caryll here, I came to ask him how he did; to offer to read to him if he would have me.”
“And the Maidstone matter not yet cold in its grave!” commented her ladyship sourly. “As I’m a woman, it is monstrous I should be inflicted with the care of you that have no care for yourself.”
Hortensia bit her lip, controlling herself bravely, a spot of red in either cheek. Mr. Caryll came promptly to her rescue.
“Your ladyship must confess that Mistress Winthrop has assisted nobly in the care of me, and so, has placed your ladyship in her debt.”
“In my debt?” shrilled the countess, eyebrows aloft, head-dress nodding. “And what of yours?”
“In my clumsy way, ma’am, I have already attempted to convey my thanks to her. It might be graceful in your ladyship to follow my example.”
Mentally Mr. Caryll observed that it is unwise to rouge so heavily as did Lady Ostermore when prone to anger and to paling under it. The false color looks so very false on such occasions.
Her ladyship struck the ground with her cane. “For what have I to thank her, sir? Will you tell me that, you who seem so very well informed.”
“Why, for her part in saving your son’s life, ma’am, if you must have it. Heaven knows,” he continued in his characteristic, half-bantering manner, under which it was so difficult to catch a glimpse of his real feelings, “I am not one to throw services done in the face of folk, but here have Mistress Winthrop and I been doing our best for your son in this matter; she by so diligently nursing me; I by responding to her nursing — and your ladyship’s — and so, recovering from my wound. I do not think that your ladyship shows us a becoming gratitude. It is but natural that we fellow-workers in your ladyship’s and Lord Rotherby’s interests, should have a word to say to each other on the score of those labors which have made us colleagues.”
Her ladyship measured him with a malignant eye. “Are you quite mad, sir?” she asked him.
He shrugged and smiled. “It has been alleged against me on occasion. But I think it was pure spite.” Then he waved his hand towards the long seat that stood at the back of the arbor. “Will your ladyship not sit? You will forgive that I urge it in my own interest. They tell me that it is not good for me to stand too long just yet.”
It was his hope that she would depart. Not so. “I cry you mercy!” said she acidly, and rustled to the bench. “Be seated, pray.” She continued to watch them with her baleful glance. “We have heard fine things from you, sir, of what you have both done for my Lord Rotherby,” she gibed, mocking him with the spirit of his half-jest. “Shall I
tell you more precisely what ’tis he owes you?”
“Can there be more?” quoth Mr. Caryll, smiling so amiably that he must have disarmed a Gorgon.
Her ladyship ignored him. “He owes it to you both that you have estranged him from his father, set up a breach between them that is never like to be healed. ’Tis what he owes you.”
“Does he not owe it, rather, to his abandoned ways?” asked Hortensia, in a calm, clear voice, bravely giving back her ladyship look for look.
“Abandoned ways?” screamed the countess. “Is’t you that speak of abandoned ways, ye shameless baggage? Faith, ye may be some judge of them. Ye fooled him into running off with you. ’Twas that began all this. Just as with your airs and simpers, and prettily-played innocences you fooled this other, here, into being your champion.”
“Madam, you insult me!” Hortensia was on her feet, eyes flashing, cheeks aflame.
“I am witness to that,” said Lord Ostermore, coming in through the side-entrance.
Mr. Caryll was the only one who had seen him approach. The earl’s face that had wont to be so florid, was now pale and careworn, and he seemed to have lost flesh during the past month. He turned to her ladyship.
“Out on you!” he said testily, “to chide the poor child so!”
“Poor child!” sneered her ladyship, eyes raised to heaven to invoke its testimony to this absurdity. “Poor child.”
“Let there be an end to it, madam,” he said with attempted sternness. “It is unjust and unreasonable in you.”
“If it were that — which it is not — it would be but following the example that you set me. What are you but unreasonable and unjust — to treat your son as you are treating him?”
His lordship crimsoned. On the subject of his son he could be angry in earnest, even with her ladyship, as already we have seen.
“I have no son,” he declared, “there is a lewd, drunken, bullying profligate who bears my name, and who will be Lord Ostermore some day. I can’t strip him of that. But I’ll strip him of all else that’s mine, God helping me. I beg, my lady, that you’ll let me hear no more of this, I beg it. Lord Rotherby leaves my house to-day — now that Mr. Caryll is restored to health. Indeed, he has stayed longer than was necessary. He leaves to-day. He has my orders, and my servants have orders to see that he obeys them. I do not wish to see him again — never. Let him go, and let him be thankful — and be your ladyship thankful, too, since it seems you must have a kindness for him in spite of all he has done to disgrace and discredit us — that he goes not by way of Holborn Hill and Tyburn.”
Collected Works of Rafael Sabatini Page 202
