My spirit quailed under those last words; and yet I felt an immense relief at the same time, as if some overwhelming burden had been lifted from me.
“I am indeed unworthy,” I said.
“It is not your unworthiness that I am considering, my son, but your nature. The world calls you over-strongly. It is not for nothing that you are the child of Giovanni d’Anguissola. His blood runs thick in your veins, and it is very human blood. For such as you there is no hope in the cloister. Your mother must be made to realize it, and she must abandon her dreams concerning you. It will wound her very sorely. But better that than...” He shrugged and rose. “Come, Agostino.”
And I rose, too, immensely comforted and soothed already, for all that I was yet very far from ease or peace of mind. Outside his room he set a hand upon my arm.
“Wait,” he said, “we have ministered in some degree to your poor spirit. Let us take thought for the body, too. You need garments and other things. Come with me.”
He led me up to my own little chamber, took fresh raiment for me from a press, called Lorenza and bade her bring bread and wine, vinegar and warm water.
In a very weak dilution of the latter he bade me bathe my lacerated feet, and then he found fine strips of linen in which to bind them ere I drew fresh hose and shoes. And meanwhile munching my bread and salt and taking great draughts of the pure if somewhat sour wine, my mental peace was increased by the refreshment of my body.
At last I stood up more myself than I had been in these last twelve awful hours — for it was just noon, and into twelve hours had been packed the events that well might have filled a lifetime.
He put an arm about my shoulder, fondly as a father might have done, and so led me below again and into my mother’s presence.
We found her kneeling before the Crucifix, telling her beads; and we stood waiting a few moments in silence until with a sigh and a rustle of her stiff black dress she rose gently and turned to face us.
My heart thudded violently in that moment, as I looked into that pale face of sorrow. Then Fra Gervasio began to speak very gently and softly.
“Your son, Madonna, has been lured into sin by a wanton woman,” he began, and there she interrupted him with a sudden and very piteous cry.
“Not that! Ah, not that!” she exclaimed, putting out hands gropingly before her.
“That and more, Madonna,” he answered gravely. “Be brave to hear the rest. It is a very piteous story. But the founts of Divine Mercy are inexhaustible, and Agostino shall drink therefrom when by penitence he shall have cleansed his lips.”
Very erect she stood there, silent and ghostly, her face looking diaphanous by contrast with the black draperies that enshrouded her, whilst her eyes were great pools of sorrow. Poor, poor mother! It is the last recollection I have of her; for after that day we never met again, and I would give ten years to purgatory if I might recall the last words that passed between us.
As briefly as possible and ever thrusting into the foreground the immensity of the snare that had been spread for me and the temptation that had enmeshed me, Gervasio told her the story of my sin.
She heard him through in that immovable attitude, one hand pressed to her heart, her poor pale lips moving now and again, but no sound coming from them, her face a white mask of pain and horror.
When he had done, so wrought upon was I by the sorrow of that countenance that I went forward again to fling myself upon my knees before her.
“Mother, forgive!” I pleaded. And getting no answer I put up my hands to take hers. “Mother!” I cried, and the tears were streaming down my face.
But she recoiled before me.
“Are you my child?” she asked in a voice of horror. “Are you the thing that has grown out of that little child I vowed to chastity and to God? Then has my sin overtaken me — the sin of bearing a son to Giovanni d’Anguissola, that enemy of God!”
“Ah, mother, mother!” I cried again, thinking perhaps by that all-powerful word to move her yet to pity and to gentleness.
“Madonna,” cried Gervasio, “be merciful if you would look for mercy.”
“He has falsified my vows,” she answered stonily. “He was my votive offering for the life of his impious father. I am punished for the unworthiness of my offering and the unworthiness of the cause in which I offered it. Accursed is the fruit of my womb!” She moaned, and sank her head upon her breast.
“I will atone!” I cried, overwhelmed to see her so distraught.
She wrung her pale hands.
“Atone!” she cried, and her voice trembled. “Go then, and atone. But never let me see you more; never let me be reminded of the sinner to whom I have given life. Go! Begone!” And she raised a hand in tragical dismissal.
I shrank back, and came slowly to my feet. And then Gervasio spoke, and his voice boomed and thundered with righteous indignation.
“Madonna, this is inhuman!” he denounced. “Shall you dare to hope for mercy being yourself unmerciful?”
“I shall pray for strength to forgive him; but the sight of him might tempt me back with the memory of the thing that he has done,” she answered, and she had returned to that cold and terrible reserve of hers.
And then things that Fra Gervasio had repressed for years welled up in a mighty flood. “He is your son, and he is as you have made him.”
“As I have made him?” quoth she, and her glance challenged the friar.
“By what right did you make of him a votive offering? By what right did you seek to consecrate a child unborn to a claustral life without thought of his character, without reck of the desires that should be his? By what right did you make yourself the arbiter of the future of a man unborn?”
“By what right?” quoth she. “Are you a priest, and do you ask me by what right I vowed him to the service of God?”
“And is there, think you, no way of serving God but in the sterility of the cloister?” he demanded. “Why, since no man is born to damnation, and since by your reasoning the world must mean damnation, then all men should be encloistered, and soon, thus, there would be an end to man. You are too arrogant, Madonna, when you presume to judge what pleases God. Beware lest you fall into the sin of the Pharisee, for often have I seen you stand in danger of it.”
She swayed as if her strength were failing her, and again her pale lips moved.
“Enough, Fra Gervasio! I will go,” I cried.
“Nay, it is not yet enough,” he answered, and strode down the room until he stood between her and me. “He is what you have made him,” he repeated in denunciation. “Had you studied his nature and his inclinations, had you left them free to develop along the way that God intended, you would have seen whether or not the cloister called him; and then would have been the time to have taken a resolve. But you thought to change his nature by repressing it; and you never saw that if he was not such as you would have him be, then most surely would you doom him to damnation by making an evil priest of him.
“In your Pharisaic arrogance, Madonna, you sought to superimpose your will to God’s will concerning him — you confounded God’s will with your own. And so his sins recoil upon you as much as upon any. Therefore, Madonna, do I bid you beware. Take a humbler view if you would be acceptable in the Divine sight. Learn to forgive, for I say to you to-day that you stand as greatly in need of forgiveness for the thing that Agostino has done, as does Agostino himself.”
He paused at last, and stood trembling before her, his eyes aflame, his high cheek-bones faintly tinted. And she measured him very calmly and coldly with her sombre eyes.
“Are you a priest?” she asked with steady scorn. “Are you indeed a priest?” And then her invective was loosened, and her voice shrilled and mounted as her anger swayed her. “What a snake have I harboured here!” she cried. “Blasphemer! You show me clearly whence came the impiety and ungodliness of Giovanni d’Anguissola. It had the same source as your own. It was suckled at your mother’s breast.”
A sob shook hi
m. “My mother is dead, Madonna!” he rebuked her.
“She is more blessed, then, than I; since she has not lived to see what a power for sin she has brought forth. Go, pitiful friar. Go, both of you. You are very choicely mated. Begone from Mondolfo, and never let me see either of you more.”
She staggered to her great chair and sank into it, whilst we stood there, mute, regarding her. For myself, it was with difficulty that I repressed the burning things that rose to my lips. Had I given free rein to my tongue, I had made of it a whip of scorpions. And my anger sprang not from the things she said to me, but from what she said to that saintly man who held out a hand to help me out of the morass of sin in which I was being sunk. That he, that sweet and charitable follower of his Master, should be abused by her, should be dubbed blasphemer and have the cherished memory of his mother defiled by her pietistic utterances, was something that inflamed me horribly.
But he set a hand upon my shoulder.
“Come, Agostino,” he said very gently. He was calm once more. “We will go, as we are bidden, you and I.”
And then, out of the sweetness of his nature, he forged all unwittingly the very iron that should penetrate most surely into her soul.
“Forgive her, my son. Forgive her as you need forgiveness. She does not understand the thing she does. Come, we will pray for her, that God in His infinite mercy may teach her humility and true knowledge of Him.”
I saw her start as if she had been stung.
“Blasphemer, begone!” she cried again; and her voice was hoarse with suppressed anger.
And then the door was suddenly flung open, and Rinolfo clanked in, very martial and important, his hand thrusting up his sword behind him.
“Madonna,” he announced, “the Captain of Justice from Piacenza is here.”
CHAPTER II. THE CAPTAIN OF JUSTICE
There was a moment’s silence after Rinolfo had flung that announcement.
“The Captain of Justice?” quoth my mother at length, her voice startled. “What does he seek?”
“The person of my Lord Agostino d’Anguissola,” said Rinolfo steadily.
She sighed very heavily. “A felon’s end!” she murmured, and turned to me. “If thus you may expiate your sins,” she said, speaking more gently, “let the will of Heaven be done. Admit the captain, Ser Rinolfo.”
He bowed, and turned sharply to depart.
“Stay!” I cried, and rooted him there by the imperative note of my command.
Fra Gervasio was more than right when he said that mine was not a nature for the cloister. In that moment I might have realized it to the full by the readiness with which the thought of battle occurred to me, and more by the anticipatory glow that warmed me at the very thought of it. I was the very son of Giovanni d’Anguissola.
“What force attends the captain?” I inquired.
“He has six mounted men with him,” replied Rinolfo. “In that case,” I answered, “you will bid him begone in my name.”
“And if he should not go?” was Rinolfo’s impudent question.
“You will tell him that I will drive him hence — him and his braves. We keep a garrison of a score of men at least — sufficient to compel him to depart.”
“He will return again with more,” said Rinolfo.
“Does that concern you?” I snapped. “Let him return with what he pleases. To-day I enrol more forces from the countryside, take up the bridge and mount our cannon. This is my lair and fortress, and I’ll defend it and myself as becomes my name and blood. For I am the lord and master here, and the Lord of Mondolfo is not to be dragged away thus at the heels of a Captain of Justice. You have my orders, obey them. About it, sir.”
Circumstances had shown me the way that I must take, and the folly of going forth a fugitive outcast at my mother’s bidding. I was Lord of Mondolfo, as I had said, and they should know and feel it from this hour — all of them, not excepting my mother.
But I reckoned without the hatred Rinolfo bore me. Instead of the prompt obedience that I had looked for, he had turned again to my mother.
“Is it your wish, Madonna?” he inquired.
“It is my wish that counts, you knave,” I thundered and advanced upon him.
But he fronted me intrepidly. “I hold my office from my Lady the Countess. I obey none other here.”
“Body of God! Do you defy me?” I cried. “Am I Lord of Mondolfo, or am I a lackey in my own house? You’ld best obey me ere I break you, Ser Rinolfo. We shall see whether the men will take my orders,” I added confidently.
The faintest smile illumined his dark face. “The men will not stir a finger at the bidding of any but Madonna the Countess and myself,” he answered hardily.
It was by an effort that I refrained from striking him. And then my mother spoke again.
“It is as Ser Rinolfo says,” she informed me. “So cease this futile resistance, sir son, and accept the expiation that is offered you.”
I looked at her, she avoiding my glance.
“Madonna, I cannot think that it is so,” said I. “These men have known me since I was a little lad. Many of them have followed the fortunes of my father. They’ll never turn their backs upon his son in the hour of his need. They are not all so inhuman as my mother.”
“You mistake, sir,” said Rinolfo. “Of the men you knew but one or two remain. Most of our present force has been enrolled by me in the past month.”
This was defeat, utter and pitiful. His tone was too confident, he was too sure of his ground to leave me a doubt as to what would befall if I made appeal to his knavish followers. My arms fell to my sides, and I looked at Gervasio. His face was haggard, and his eyes were very full of sorrow as they rested on me.
“It is true, Agostino,” he said.
And as he spoke, Rinolfo limped out of the room to fetch the Captain of Justice, as my mother had bidden him; and his lips smiled cruelly.
“Madam mother,” I said bitterly, “you do a monstrous thing. You usurp the power that is mine, and you deliver me — me, your son — to the gallows. I hope that, hereafter, when you come to realize to the full your deed, you will be able to give your conscience peace.”
“My first duty is to God,” she answered; and to that pitiable answer there was nothing to be rejoined.
So I turned my shoulder to her and stood waiting, Fra Gervasio beside me, clenching his hands in his impotence and mute despair. And then an approaching clank of mail heralded the coming of the captain.
Rinolfo held the door, and Cosimo d’Anguissola entered with a firm, proud tread, two of his men, following at his heels.
He wore a buff-coat, under which no doubt there would be a shirt of mail; his gorget and wristlets were of polished steel, and his headgear was a steel cap under a cover of peach-coloured velvet. Thigh-boots encased his legs; sword and dagger hung in the silver carriages at his belt; his handsome, aquiline face was very solemn.
He bowed profoundly to my mother, who rose to respond, and then he flashed me one swift glance of his piercing eyes.
“I deplore my business here,” he announced shortly. “No doubt it will be known to you already.” And he looked at me again, allowing his eyes to linger on my face.
“I am ready, sir,” I said.
“Then we had best be going, for I understand that none could be less welcome here than I. Yet in this, Madonna, let me assure you that there is nothing personal to myself. I am the slave of my office. I do but perform it.”
“So much protesting where no doubt has been expressed,” said Fra Gervasio, “in itself casts a doubt upon your good faith. Are you not Cosimo d’Anguissola — my lord’s cousin and heir?”
“I am,” said he, “yet that has no part in this, sir friar.”
“Then let it have part. Let it have the part it should have. Will you bear one of your own name and blood to the gallows? What will men say of that when they perceive your profit in the deed?”
Cosimo looked him boldly between the eyes, his hawk-face ve
ry white.
“Sir priest, I know not by what right you address me so. But you do me wrong. I am the Podesta of Piacenza bound by an oath that it would dishonour me to break; and break it I must or else fulfil my duty here. Enough!” he added, in his haughty, peremptory fashion. “Ser Agostino, I await your pleasure.”
“I will appeal to Rome,” cried Fra Gervasio, now beside himself with grief.
Cosimo smiled darkly, pityingly. “It is to be feared that Rome will turn a deaf ear to appeals on behalf of the son of Giovanni d’Anguissola.”
And with that he motioned me to precede him. Silently I pressed Fra Gervasio’s hand, and on that departed without so much as another look at my mother, who sat there a silent witness of a scene which she approved.
The men-at-arms fell into step, one on either side of me, and so we passed out into the courtyard, where Cosimo’s other men were waiting, and where was gathered the entire family of the castle — a gaping, rather frightened little crowd.
They brought forth a mule for me, and I mounted. Then suddenly there was Fra Gervasio at my side again.
“I, too, am going hence,” he said. “Be of good courage, Agostino. There is no effort I will not make on your behalf.” In a broken voice he added his farewells ere he stood back at the captain’s peremptory bidding. The little troop closed round me, and thus, within a couple of hours of my coming, I departed again from Mondolfo, surrendered to the hangman by the pious hands of my mother, who on her knees, no doubt, would be thanking God for having afforded her the grace to act in so righteous a manner.
Once only did my cousin address me, and that was soon after we had left the town behind us. He motioned the men away, and rode to my side. Then he looked at me with mocking, hating eyes.
“You had done better to have continued in your saint’s trade than have become so very magnificent a sinner,” said he.
I did not answer him, and he rode on beside me in silence some little way.
“Ah, well,” he sighed at last. “Your course has been a brief one, but very eventful. And who would have suspected so very fierce a wolf under so sheepish an outside? Body of God! You fooled us all, you and that white-faced trull.”
Collected Works of Rafael Sabatini Page 228
