Nightmare Abbey

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Nightmare Abbey Page 8

by Thomas Love Peacock


  CHAPTER VIII

  Marionetta observed the next day a remarkable perturbation inScythrop, for which she could not imagine any probable cause. She waswilling to believe at first that it had some transient and triflingsource, and would pass off in a day or two; but, contrary to thisexpectation, it daily increased. She was well aware that Scythrop hada strong tendency to the love of mystery, for its own sake; that isto say, he would employ mystery to serve a purpose, but would firstchoose his purpose by its capability of mystery. He seemed now to havemore mystery on his hands than the laws of the system allowed, and towear his coat of darkness with an air of great discomfort. All herlittle playful arts lost by degrees much of their power either toirritate or to soothe; and the first perception of her diminishedinfluence produced in her an immediate depression of spirits, and aconsequent sadness of demeanour, that rendered her very interesting toMr Glowry; who, duly considering the improbability of accomplishinghis wishes with respect to Miss Toobad (which improbability naturallyincreased in the diurnal ratio of that young lady's absence), beganto reconcile himself by degrees to the idea of Marionetta being hisdaughter.

  Marionetta made many ineffectual attempts to extract from Scythrop thesecret of his mystery; and, in despair of drawing it from himself,began to form hopes that she might find a clue to it from Mr Flosky,who was Scythrop's dearest friend, and was more frequently than anyother person admitted to his solitary tower. Mr Flosky, however, hadceased to be visible in a morning. He was engaged in the compositionof a dismal ballad; and, Marionetta's uneasiness overcoming herscruples of decorum, she determined to seek him in the apartment whichhe had chosen for his study. She tapped at the door, and at the sound'Come in,' entered the apartment. It was noon, and the sun was shiningin full splendour, much to the annoyance of Mr Flosky, who hadobviated the inconvenience by closing the shutters, and drawingthe window-curtains. He was sitting at his table by the light of asolitary candle, with a pen in one hand, and a muffineer in the other,with which he occasionally sprinkled salt on the wick, to make it burnblue. He sat with 'his eye in a fine frenzy rolling,' and turned hisinspired gaze on Marionetta as if she had been the ghastly ladie ofa magical vision; then placed his hand before his eyes, with anappearance of manifest pain--shook his head--withdrew his hand--rubbedhis eyes, like a waking man--and said, in a tone of ruefulness mostjeremitaylorically pathetic, 'To what am I to attribute this veryunexpected pleasure, my dear Miss O'Carroll?'

  MARIONETTA

  I must apologise for intruding on you, Mr Flosky; but the interestwhich I--you--take in my cousin Scythrop--

  MR FLOSKY

  Pardon me, Miss O'Carroll; I do not take any interest in any person orthing on the face of the earth; which sentiment, if you analyse it,you will find to be the quintessence of the most refined philanthropy.

  MARIONETTA

  I will take it for granted that it is so, Mr Flosky; I am notconversant with metaphysical subtleties, but--

  MR FLOSKY

  Subtleties! my dear Miss O'Carroll. I am sorry to find youparticipating in the vulgar error of the _reading public,_ to whoman unusual collocation of words, involving a juxtaposition ofantiperistatical ideas, immediately suggests the notion ofhyperoxysophistical paradoxology.

  MARIONETTA

  Indeed, Mr Flosky, it suggests no such notion to me. I have sought youfor the purpose of obtaining information.

  MR FLOSKY _(shaking his head)_

  No one ever sought me for such a purpose before.

  MARIONETTA

  I think, Mr Flosky--that is, I believe--that is, I fancy--that is, Iimagine--

  MR FLOSKY

  The [Greek: toytesti], the _id est_, the _cioe_, the _c'est a dire_,the _that is_, my dear Miss O'Carroll, is not applicable in thiscase--if you will permit me to take the liberty of saying so. Thinkis not synonymous with believe--for belief, in many most importantparticulars, results from the total absence, the absolute negation ofthought, and is thereby the sane and orthodox condition of mind; andthought and belief are both essentially different from fancy, andfancy, again, is distinct from imagination. This distinction betweenfancy and imagination is one of the most abstruse and important pointsof metaphysics. I have written seven hundred pages of promise toelucidate it, which promise I shall keep as faithfully as the bankwill its promise to pay.

  MARIONETTA

  I assure you, Mr Flosky, I care no more about metaphysics than I doabout the bank; and, if you will condescend to talk to a simple girlin intelligible terms--

  MR FLOSKY

  Say not condescend! Know you not that you talk to the most humble ofmen, to one who has buckled on the armour of sanctity, and clothedhimself with humility as with a garment?

  MARIONETTA

  My cousin Scythrop has of late had an air of mystery about him, whichgives me great uneasiness.

  MR FLOSKY

  That is strange: nothing is so becoming to a man as an air of mystery.Mystery is the very key-stone of all that is beautiful in poetry, allthat is sacred in faith, and all that is recondite in transcendentalpsychology. I am writing a ballad which is all mystery; it is 'suchstuff as dreams are made of,' and is, indeed, stuff made of a dream;for, last night I fell asleep as usual over my book, and had a visionof pure reason. I composed five hundred lines in my sleep; so that,having had a dream of a ballad, I am now officiating as my own PeterQuince, and making a ballad of my dream, and it shall be calledBottom's Dream, because it has no bottom.

  MARIONETTA

  I see, Mr Flosky, you think my intrusion unseasonable, and areinclined to punish it, by talking nonsense to me. (_Mr Flosky gave astart at the word nonsense, which almost overturned the table._) Iassure you, I would not have intruded if I had not been very muchinterested in the question I wish to ask you.--(_Mr Flosky listenedin sullen dignity._)--My cousin Scythrop seems to have some secretpreying on his mind.--(_Mr Flosky was silent._)--He seems veryunhappy--Mr Flosky.--Perhaps you are acquainted with the cause.--(_MrFlosky was still silent._)--I only wish to know--Mr Flosky--if it isany thing--that could be remedied by any thing--that any one--of whomI know any thing--could do.

  MR FLOSKY (_after a pause_)

  There are various ways of getting at secrets. The most approvedmethods, as recommended both theoretically and practically inphilosophical novels, are eavesdropping at key-holes, picking thelocks of chests and desks, peeping into letters, steaming wafers, andinsinuating hot wire under sealing wax; none of which methods I holdit lawful to practise.

  MARIONETTA

  Surely, Mr Flosky, you cannot suspect me of wishing to adopt orencourage such base and contemptible arts.

  MR FLOSKY

  Yet are they recommended, and with well-strung reasons, by writers ofgravity and note, as simple and easy methods of studying character,and gratifying that laudable curiosity which aims at the knowledge ofman.

  MARIONETTA

  I am as ignorant of this morality which you do not approve, as of themetaphysics which you do: I should be glad to know by your means, whatis the matter with my cousin; I do not like to see him unhappy, and Isuppose there is some reason for it.

  MR FLOSKY

  Now I should rather suppose there is no reason for it: it is thefashion to be unhappy. To have a reason for being so would beexceedingly common-place: to be so without any is the province ofgenius: the art of being miserable for misery's sake, has been broughtto great perfection in our days; and the ancient Odyssey, which heldforth a shining example of the endurance of real misfortune, willgive place to a modern one, setting out a more instructive picture ofquerulous impatience under imaginary evils.

  MARIONETTA

  Will you oblige me, Mr Flosky, by giving me a plain answer to a plainquestion?

  MR FLOSKY

  It is impossible, my dear Miss O'Carroll. I never gave a plain answerto a question in my life.

  MARIONETTA

  Do you, or do you not, know what is the matter with my cousin?

  MR FLOSKY

  To say that I do not know
, would be to say that I am ignorant ofsomething; and God forbid, that a transcendental metaphysician, whohas pure anticipated cognitions of every thing, and carries the wholescience of geometry in his head without ever having looked intoEuclid, should fall into so empirical an error as to declare himselfignorant of any thing: to say that I do know, would be to pretend topositive and circumstantial knowledge touching present matter of fact,which, when you consider the nature of evidence, and the variouslights in which the same thing may be seen--

  MARIONETTA

  I see, Mr Flosky, that either you have no information, or aredetermined not to impart it; and I beg your pardon for having givenyou this unnecessary trouble.

  MR FLOSKY

  My dear Miss O'Carroll, it would have given me great pleasure to havesaid any thing that would have given you pleasure; but if any personliving could make report of having obtained any information on anysubject from Ferdinando Flosky, my transcendental reputation would beruined for ever.

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