CHAPTER XIII
Mr Glowry was much surprised, on occasionally visiting Scythrop'stower, to find the door always locked, and to be kept sometimeswaiting many minutes for admission: during which he invariably heard aheavy rolling sound like that of a ponderous mangle, or of a waggon ona weighing-bridge, or of theatrical thunder.
He took little notice of this for some time; at length his curiositywas excited, and, one day, instead of knocking at the door, as usual,the instant he reached it, he applied his ear to the key-hole, andlike Bottom, in the Midsummer Night's Dream, 'spied a voice,' which heguessed to be of the feminine gender, and knew to be not Scythrop's,whose deeper tones he distinguished at intervals. Having attempted invain to catch a syllable of the discourse, he knocked violently atthe door, and roared for immediate admission. The voices ceased, theaccustomed rolling sound was heard, the door opened, and Scythropwas discovered alone. Mr Glowry looked round to every corner of theapartment, and then said, 'Where is the lady?'
'The lady, sir?' said Scythrop.
'Yes, sir, the lady.'
'Sir, I do not understand you.'
'You don't, sir?'
'No, indeed, sir. There is no lady here.'
'But, sir, this is not the only apartment in the tower, and I make nodoubt there is a lady up stairs.'
'You are welcome to search, sir.'
'Yes, and while I am searching, she will slip out from some lurkingplace, and make her escape.'
'You may lock this door, sir, and take the key with you.'
'But there is the terrace door: she has escaped by the terrace.'
'The terrace, sir, has no other outlet, and the walls are too high fora lady to jump down.'
'Well, sir, give me the key.'
Mr Glowry took the key, searched every nook of the tower, andreturned.
'You are a fox, Scythrop; you are an exceedingly cunning fox, withthat demure visage of yours. What was that lumbering sound I heardbefore you opened the door?'
'Sound, sir?'
'Yes, sir, sound.'
'My dear sir, I am not aware of any sound, except my great table,which I moved on rising to let you in.'
'The table!--let me see that. No, sir; not a tenth part heavy enough,not a tenth part.'
'But, sir, you do not consider the laws of acoustics: a whisperbecomes a peal of thunder in the focus of reverberation. Allow me toexplain this: sounds striking on concave surfaces are reflected fromthem, and, after reflection, converge to points which are the foci ofthese surfaces. It follows, therefore, that the ear may be so placedin one, as that it shall hear a sound better than when situated nearerto the point of the first impulse: again, in the case of two concavesurfaces placed opposite to each other--'
'Nonsense, sir. Don't tell me of foci. Pray, sir, will concavesurfaces produce two voices when nobody speaks? I heard two voices,and one was feminine; feminine, sir: what say you to that?'
'Oh, sir, I perceive your mistake: I am writing a tragedy, and wasacting over a scene to myself. To convince you, I will give you aspecimen; but you must first understand the plot. It is a tragedy onthe German model. The Great Mogul is in exile, and has taken lodgingsat Kensington, with his only daughter, the Princess Rantrorina,who takes in needlework, and keeps a day school. _The princess isdiscovered hemming a set of shirts for the parson of the parish: theyare to be marked with a large R. Enter to her the Great Mogul. Apause, during which they look at each other expressively. Theprincess changes colour several times. The Mogul takes snuff in greatagitation. Several grains are heard to fall on the stage. His heart isseen to beat through his upper benjamin._--THE MOGUL _(with a mournfullook at his left shoe_). 'My shoe-string is broken.'--THE PRINCESS(_after an interval of melancholy reflection_). 'I know it.' THEMOGUL. 'My second shoe-string! The first broke when I lost my empire:the second has broken to-day. When will my poor heart break?'--THEPRINCESS. 'Shoe-strings, hearts, and empires! Mysterious sympathy!'
'Nonsense, sir,' interrupted Mr Glowry. 'That is not at all like thevoice I heard.'
'But, sir,' said Scythrop, 'a key-hole may be so constructed as to actlike an acoustic tube, and an acoustic tube, sir, will modify sound ina very remarkable manner. Consider the construction of the ear, andthe nature and causes of sound. The external part of the ear is acartilaginous funnel.'
'It wo'n't do, Scythrop. There is a girl concealed in this tower, andfind her I will. There are such things as sliding panels and secretclosets.'--He sounded round the room with his cane, but detectedno hollowness.--'I have heard, sir,' he continued, 'that during myabsence, two years ago, you had a dumb carpenter closeted with youday after day. I did not dream that you were laying contrivances forcarrying on secret intrigues. Young men will have their way: I had myway when I was a young man: but, sir, when your cousin Marionetta--'
Scythrop now saw that the affair was growing serious. To have clappedhis hand upon his father's mouth, to have entreated him to be silent,would, in the first place, not have made him so; and, in the second,would have shown a dread of being overheard by somebody. His onlyresource, therefore, was to try to drown Mr Glowry's voice; and,having no other subject, he continued his description of the ear,raising his voice continually as Mr Glowry raised his.
'When your cousin Marionetta,' said Mr Glowry, 'whom you profess tolove--whom you profess to love, sir--'
'The internal canal of the ear,' said Scythrop, 'is partly bony andpartly cartilaginous. This internal canal is--'
'Is actually in the house, sir; and, when you are so shortly to be--asI expect--'
'Closed at the further end by the _membrana tympani_--'
'Joined together in holy matrimony--'
'Under which is carried a branch of the fifth pair of nerves--'
'I say, sir, when you are so shortly to be married to your cousinMarionetta--'
'The _cavitas tympani_--'
A loud noise was heard behind the book-case, which, to theastonishment of Mr Glowry, opened in the middle, and the massycompartments, with all their weight of books, receding from each otherin the manner of a theatrical scene, with a heavy rolling sound (whichMr Glowry immediately recognised to be the same which had excited hiscuriosity,) disclosed an interior apartment, in the entrance ofwhich stood the beautiful Stella, who, stepping forward, exclaimed,'Married! Is he going to be married? The profligate!'
'Really, madam,' said Mr Glowry, 'I do not know what he is going todo, or what I am going to do, or what any one is going to do; for allthis is incomprehensible.'
'I can explain it all,' said Scythrop, 'in a most satisfactory manner,if you will but have the goodness to leave us alone.'
'Pray, sir, to which act of the tragedy of the Great Mogul does thisincident belong?'
'I entreat you, my dear sir, leave us alone.'
Stella threw herself into a chair, and burst into a tempest of tears.Scythrop sat down by her, and took her hand. She snatched her handaway, and turned her back upon him. He rose, sat down on the otherside, and took her other hand. She snatched it away, and turned fromhim again. Scythrop continued entreating Mr Glowry to leave themalone; but the old gentleman was obstinate, and would not go.
'I suppose, after all,' said Mr Glowry maliciously, 'it is only aphaenomenon in acoustics, and this young lady is a reflection of soundfrom concave surfaces.'
Some one tapped at the door: Mr Glowry opened it, and Mr Hilaryentered. He had been seeking Mr Glowry, and had traced him toScythrop's tower. He stood a few moments in silent surprise, and thenaddressed himself to Mr Glowry for an explanation.
'The explanation,' said Mr Glowry, 'is very satisfactory. The GreatMogul has taken lodgings at Kensington, and the external part of theear is a cartilaginous funnel.'
'Mr Glowry, that is no explanation.'
'Mr Hilary, it is all I know about the matter.'
'Sir, this pleasantry is very unseasonable. I perceive that my nieceis sported with in a most unjustifiable manner, and I shall see if shewill be more successful in obtaining an intelligible answer.'
And hedeparted in search of Marionetta.
Scythrop was now in a hopeless predicament. Mr Hilary made a hue andcry in the abbey, and summoned his wife and Marionetta to Scythrop'sapartment. The ladies, not knowing what was the matter, hastened ingreat consternation. Mr Toobad saw them sweeping along the corridor,and judging from their manner that the devil had manifested his wrathin some new shape, followed from pure curiosity.
Scythrop meanwhile vainly endeavoured to get rid of Mr Glowry andto pacify Stella. The latter attempted to escape from the tower,declaring she would leave the abbey immediately, and he should neversee her or hear of her more. Scythrop held her hand and detained herby force, till Mr Hilary reappeared with Mrs Hilary and Marionetta.Marionetta, seeing Scythrop grasping the hand of a strange beauty,fainted away in the arms of her aunt. Scythrop flew to her assistance;and Stella with redoubled anger sprang towards the door, but wasintercepted in her intended flight by being caught in the arms of MrToobad, who exclaimed--'Celinda!'
'Papa!' said the young lady disconsolately.
'The devil is come among you,' said Mr Toobad, 'how came my daughterhere?'
'Your daughter!' exclaimed Mr Glowry.
'Your daughter!' exclaimed Scythrop, and Mr and Mrs Hilary.
'Yes,' said Mr Toobad, 'my daughter Celinda.'
Marionetta opened her eyes and fixed them on Celinda; Celinda inreturn fixed hers on Marionetta. They were at remote points of theapartment. Scythrop was equidistant from both of them, central andmotionless, like Mahomet's coffin.
'Mr Glowry,' said Mr Toobad, 'can you tell by what means my daughtercame here?'
'I know no more,' said Mr Glowry, 'than the Great Mogul.'
'Mr Scythrop,' said Mr Toobad, 'how came my daughter here?'
'I did not know, sir, that the lady was your daughter.'
'But how came she here?'
'By spontaneous locomotion,' said Scythrop, sullenly.
'Celinda,' said Mr Toobad, 'what does all this mean?'
'I really do not know, sir.'
'This is most unaccountable. When I told you in London that I hadchosen a husband for you, you thought proper to run away from him; andnow, to all appearance, you have run away to him.'
'How, sir! was that your choice?'
'Precisely; and if he is yours too we shall be both of a mind, for thefirst time in our lives.'
'He is not my choice, sir. This lady has a prior claim: I renouncehim.'
'And I renounce him,' said Marionetta.
Scythrop knew not what to do. He could not attempt to conciliate theone without irreparably offending the other; and he was so fond ofboth, that the idea of depriving himself for ever of the societyof either was intolerable to him: he therefore retreated into hisstronghold, mystery; maintained an impenetrable silence; and contentedhimself with stealing occasionally a deprecating glance at each of theobjects of his idolatry. Mr Toobad and Mr Hilary, in the mean time,were each insisting on an explanation from Mr Glowry, who they thoughthad been playing a double game on this occasion. Mr Glowry wasvainly endeavouring to persuade them of his innocence in the wholetransaction. Mrs Hilary was endeavouring to mediate between herhusband and brother. The Honourable Mr Listless, the Reverend MrLarynx, Mr Flosky, Mr Asterias, and Aquarius, were attracted by thetumult to the scene of action, and were appealed to severally andconjointly by the respective disputants. Multitudinous questions, andanswers _en masse_, composed a _charivari_, to which the genius ofRossini alone could have given a suitable accompaniment, and whichwas only terminated by Mrs Hilary and Mr Toobad retreating with thecaptive damsels. The whole party followed, with the exception ofScythrop, who threw himself into his arm-chair, crossed his leftfoot over his right knee, placed the hollow of his left hand on theinterior ancle of his left leg, rested his right elbow on the elbowof the chair, placed the ball of his right thumb against his righttemple, curved the forefinger along the upper part of his forehead,rested the point of the middle finger on the bridge of his nose, andthe points of the two others on the lower part of the palm, fixed hiseyes intently on the veins in the back of his left hand, and sat inthis position like the immoveable Theseus, who, as is well known tomany who have not been at college, and to some few who have, _sedet,oeternumque sedebit_.[13] We hope the admirers of the _minutiae_ inpoetry and romance will appreciate this accurate description of apensive attitude.
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