Nightmare Abbey

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by Thomas Love Peacock


  CHAPTER XV

  The day after Mr Glowry's departure was one of incessant rain, andScythrop repented of the promise he had given. The next day was one ofbright sunshine: he sat on the terrace, read a tragedy of Sophocles,and was not sorry, when Raven announced dinner, to find himself alive.On the third evening, the wind blew, and the rain beat, and the owlflapped against his windows; and he put a new flint in his pistol. Onthe fourth day, the sun shone again; and he locked the pistol up in adrawer, where he left it undisturbed, till the morning of the eventfulThursday, when he ascended the turret with a telescope, and spiedanxiously along the road that crossed the fens from Claydyke: butnothing appeared on it. He watched in this manner from ten A.M. tillRaven summoned him to dinner at five; when he stationed Crow at thetelescope, and descended to his own funeral-feast. He left open thecommunications between the tower and turret, and called aloud atintervals to Crow,--'Crow, Crow, is any thing coming?' Crow answered,'The wind blows, and the windmills turn, but I see nothing coming;'and, at every answer, Scythrop found the necessity of raising hisspirits with a bumper. After dinner, he gave Raven his watch to set bythe abbey clock. Raven brought it, Scythrop placed it on the table,and Raven departed. Scythrop called again to Crow; and Crow, who hadfallen asleep, answered mechanically, 'I see nothing coming.' Scythroplaid his pistol between his watch and his bottle. The hour-hand passedthe VII.--the minute-hand moved on;--it was within three minutes ofthe appointed time. Scythrop called again to Crow: Crow answered asbefore. Scythrop rang the bell: Raven appeared.

  'Raven,' said Scythrop, 'the clock is too fast.'

  'No, indeed,' said Raven, who knew nothing of Scythrop's intentions;'if any thing, it is too slow.'

  'Villain!' said Scythrop, pointing the pistol at him; 'it is toofast.'

  'Yes--yes--too fast, I meant,' said Raven, in manifest fear.

  'How much too fast?' said Scythrop.

  'As much as you please,' said Raven.

  'How much, I say?' said Scythrop, pointing the pistol again.

  'An hour, a full hour, sir,' said the terrified butler.

  'Put back my watch,' said Scythrop.

  Raven, with trembling hand, was putting back the watch, when therattle of wheels was heard in the court; and Scythrop, springing downthe stairs by three steps together, was at the door in sufficient timeto have handed either of the young ladies from the carriage, if shehad happened to be in it; but Mr Glowry was alone.

  'I rejoice to see you,' said Mr Glowry; 'I was fearful of being toolate, for I waited till the last moment in the hope of accomplishingmy promise; but all my endeavours have been vain, as these letterswill show.'

  Scythrop impatiently broke the seals. The contents were these:

  Almost a stranger in England, I fled from parental tyranny, and the dread of an arbitrary marriage, to the protection of a stranger and a philosopher, whom I expected to find something better than, or at least something different from, the rest of his worthless species. Could I, after what has occurred, have expected nothing more from you than the common-place impertinence of sending your father to treat with me, and with mine, for me? I should be a little moved in your favour, if I could believe you capable of carrying into effect the resolutions which your father says you have taken, in the event of my proving inflexible; though I doubt not you will execute them, as far as relates to the pint of wine, twice over, at least. I wish you much happiness with Miss O'Carroll. I shall always cherish a grateful recollection of Nightmare Abbey, for having been the means of introducing me to a true transcendentalist; and, though he is a little older than myself, which is all one in Germany, I shall very soon have the pleasure of subscribing myself

  CELINDA FLOSKY

  I hope, my dear cousin, that you will not be angry with me, but that you will always think of me as a sincere friend, who will always feel interested in your welfare; I am sure you love Miss Toobad much better than me, and I wish you much happiness with her. Mr Listless assures me that people do not kill themselves for love now-a-days, though it is still the fashion to talk about it. I shall, in a very short time, change my name and situation, and shall always be happy to see you in Berkeley Square, when, to the unalterable designation of your affectionate cousin, I shall subjoin the signature of

  MARIONETTA LISTLESS

  Scythrop tore both the letters to atoms, and railed in good set termsagainst the fickleness of women.

  'Calm yourself, my dear Scythrop,' said Mr Glowry; 'there are yetmaidens in England.'

  'Very true, sir,' said Scythrop.

  'And the next time,' said Mr Glowry, 'have but one string to yourbow.'

  'Very good advice, sir,' said Scythrop.

  'And, besides,' said Mr Glowry, 'the fatal time is past, for it is nowalmost eight.'

  'Then that villain, Raven,' said Scythrop, 'deceived me when he saidthat the clock was too fast; but, as you observe very justly, the timehas gone by, and I have just reflected that these repeated crosses inlove qualify me to take a very advanced degree in misanthropy; andthere is, therefore, good hope that I may make a figure in the world.But I shall ring for the rascal Raven, and admonish him.'

  Raven appeared. Scythrop looked at him very fiercely two or threeminutes; and Raven, still remembering the pistol, stood quaking inmute apprehension, till Scythrop, pointing significantly towards thedining-room, said, 'Bring some Madeira.'

  THE END

  NOTES

  NIGHTMARE ABBEY

  CHAPTER I

  [1] _Mr Flosky_: A corruption of Filosky, quasi [Greek: philoschios],a lover, or sectator, of shadows.

  CHAPTER II

  [2] _the passion for reforming the world_: See Forsyth's _Principlesof Moral Science_.

  CHAPTER IV

  [3] _decorum, and dignity, &c. &c. &c._: We are not masters of thewhole vocabulary. See any novel by any literary lady.

  [4] _his Ahrimanic philosophy_: Ahrimanes, in the Persian mythology,is the evil power, the prince of the kingdom of darkness. He is therival of Oromazes, the prince of the kingdom of light. These twopowers have divided and equal dominion. Sometimes one of the two has atemporary supremacy.--According to Mr Toobad, the present period wouldbe the reign of Ahrimanes. Lord Byron seems to be of the same opinion,by the use he has made of Ahrimanes in 'Manfred'; where the greatAlastor, or [Greek: Kachos Daimon], of Persia, is hailed king ofthe world by the Nemesis of Greece, in concert with three ofthe Scandinavian Valkyrae, under the name of the Destinies; theastrological spirits of the alchemists of the middle ages; anelemental witch, transplanted from Denmark to the Alps; and a chorusof Dr Faustus's devils, who come in the last act for a soul. It isdifficult to conceive where this heterogeneous mythological companycould have originally met, except at a _table d'hote_, like the sixkings in 'Candide'.

  CHAPTER V

  [5] _pensions_: 'PENSION. Pay given to a slave of state for treason tohis country.'--JOHNSON'S _Dictionary_.

  CHAPTER VII

  [6] _... of a beautiful day_: See Denys Montfort: _Histoire Naturelledes Mollusques; Vues Generales_, pp. 37, 38. (P.) The second half ofthis speech by Mr Asterias and the opening sentence of his previousspeech are a paraphrase from Montfort, pp. 37-9.

  CHAPTER X

  [7] _Mr Burke's graduated scale of the sublime_: There must be somemistake in this, for the whole honourable band of gentlemen-pensionershas resolved unanimously, that Mr Burke was a very sublime person,particularly after he had prostituted his own soul, and betrayed hiscountry and mankind, for 1200_l_. a year: yet he does not appear tohave been a very terrible personage, and certainly went off with avery small portion of human respect, though he contrived to excite,in a great degree, the astonishment of all honest men. Our immaculatelaureate (who gives us to understand that, if he had not been purifiedby holy matrimony into a mystical type, he would have died a virgin,)is another sublime gentleman of the same genus: he very muchastonished some persons when he sold his birthright for a pot of sack;but not even his _Sosia_ has a grain of resp
ect for him, though,doubtless, he thinks his name very terrible to the enemy, when heflourishes his criticopoeticopolitical tomahawk, and sets up hisIndian yell for the blood of his old friends: but, at best, he is amere political scarecrow, a man of straw, ridiculous to all who knowof what materials he is made; and to none more so, than to those whohave stuffed him, and set him up, as the Priapus of the garden of thegolden apples of corruption.

  CHAPTER XI

  [8] _... vanishes in the smoke of death_: _Childe Harold_, canto 4.cxxiv. cxxvi.

  [9] _... and reaps the whirlwind_: _Childe Harold_, canto 4. cxxiii.

  [10] _... or to endure_: _Ibid_. canto 3. lxxi.

  [11] _... whose gums are poison_: _Ibid_. canto 4. cxxi. cxxxvi.

  [12] _... exist only in himself_: _Childe Harold_, canto 4. cxxii.

  CHAPTER XIII

  [13] _sedet, oeternumque sedebit_: Sits, and will sit for ever.

  CHAPTER XIV

  [14] _a pint of port and a pistol_: See _The Sorrows of Werter_,Letter 93.

 


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