“It’s…well, I thought you were saying those things because my parents can’t…really afford stuff,” I say. “Whatever. I shouldn’t have yelled.” And then I look at Charlie Parker Drysdale. “At either of you. Sorry.”
Esther nods.
“My moms say you’re probably upset about moving,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“Is it really that bad here?” asks Esther.
“No,” I answer. “It’s not really about moving. It’s…it’s…just…everything’s changed.”
“It gets easier,” says Jake. He and Hannah are now back in their seats. “We lived up north in Iqaluit, and I mean I thought I’d never get used to it getting dark right after lunch during the winter. But it was kinda cool. Glad I lived there now. You should see my northern lights videos.”
“Can you bring them?” asks Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“Sure,” says Jake. “When?”
“How about tonight?” I say, which kinda surprises me. It’s weird to be surprised by something you hear yourself say, but I totally am. And then I surprise myself even more when I look at Esther and Charlie Parker Drysdale and say, “We could even have pizza Margherita. I mean I was totally going to invite you for some last night.”
“You were?” asks Esther.
“Yeah, I asked Nan if it was okay, but then it was Hannah and Jake at the door when I thought it was you and Charlie Parker Drysdale coming back,” I explain.
“Pizza sure would have been better than veggie casserole with a side of herbed tofu,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“So? Tonight?” I ask.
“I’ll come,” says Esther before I barely have the words out.
“Me too,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“And me,” says Hannah.
“Um, didn’t you just call me a spy and admit to deleting part of one of my videos?” says Jake. “And now you’re asking me over? For pizza?”
“I’m sorry about all of that. Sort of. Mostly,” I say, “but not all the way sorry. I mean videoing me without telling me? Pretty sketchy.”
“I swear I didn’t think of it like that,” says Jake. “It’s just, Freddie has been dealing with his grandpa being sick and I was trying to help. If I had thought of it like you just said, I never would’ve done it.”
“Okay then,” I tell him. “I’m all the way sorry. One hundred percent. It’s just that I believed you last night when you said you were trying to help. And then when I saw the video you took of me behind the school…sure seemed like you were as big a jerk as Freddie. But, you’re not a jerk. And I won’t mess with any of your videos ever again.”
Jake just looks at me like he’s not sure what to say.
“I swear,” I add.
I lift my fist.
Jake does too.
We bump.
“See that?” Charlie Parker Drysdale is pointing at our fist bump. “That’s what happens when you talk about things.”
I stare at him. I’m not ready to agree, but it’s possible—a tiny bit possible—that maybe he’s right about that. This one time.
“I can’t do pizza tonight though,” says Jake. “After I hit the park and my mom gets home from work, I need to go see Freddie.”
I feel happy that I won’t have to skateboard against Freddie today but sad about the reason.
“Hey,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale. “There’s just one thing that doesn’t make sense.”
“What?” I ask.
“It’s about what you said before. You know, when you were talking about Jake and the video.”
“Yeah?” I ask.
“How did you go skateboarding at lunch yesterday?” he asks. “You broke yours. That’s why you had to trick Freddie into lending his. Right?”
“You broke your board?” says Jake. “When?”
“Before I moved here,” I say.
“Whoa,” says Jake. “So you don’t have a board anymore? That’s hard-core,” he says. But then he looks confused. “But, um, then what about what Charlie said? Where’d you get the board you were riding? I didn’t see you with one yesterday, but I figured one of the guys from the park lent you one, and you went out back to skate so Freddie’d leave you alone.”
“Nope,” I say, and I look at Hannah. “I sort of borrowed one. From over there,” I point to the shelf. “There’s a really cool ghost board that’s been just sitting there. Pretty sure someone left it behind or something.”
Jake jumps up and runs over to the shelf.
“Where’d you get a helmet and pads and stuff?” Charlie Parker Drysdale asks. “You didn’t have those with you yesterday either.”
“I kind of didn’t wear any,” I say.
“Seriously?” says Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“You should have at least had a helmet, Sibby,” says Esther.
“Wow,” says Hannah. “I’d rather break anything other than my brain.”
Jake is holding the skateboard I used yesterday and turning it over and over like he’s trying to make sure there aren’t any scratches on it.
“Bad call, Sibby,” he says. “Very bad.”
“I know,” I say. “I shouldn’t have tried a backside bluntslide without a helmet. And I have to get a couple more scuffs out of the board, but I can do that with—”
“No. It’s not only that,” says Jake. And he says it in a panicky-sounding voice. “You can’t use this board, like ever again. Got it?”
And now his face is looking panicked too. And when I put his panicky-sounding voice and his panicked-looking face together in my brain, something tells me he’s going to say that the board I borrowed is—
“It’s Freddie’s board,” says Jake.
“Uh-oh,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale and he puts his hands up against his cheeks.
“No way,” says Esther.
“Why did he leave it there?” asks Hannah.
“His grandpa gave it to him to use at the new park,” says Jake.
“Oh, my gosh,” Hannah says, and now she brings her hands to her cheeks.
“And he left it there?” I point to the shelf. “That doesn’t make sense. Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. No one ever touches our boards,” says Jake. “Freddie and I took this one to the park the night before school started. But then Freddie decided he couldn’t skate with it. He said he was going to wait until his grandpa got better and could come watch him. Ms. Anderson was inside getting things ready for school, so he left it here and we went back to the park.”
“How come he didn’t say anything to Sibby about not having a board when he dared her to skateboard against him yesterday?” asks Charlie Parker Drysdale. “She didn’t have one with her.”
“I doubt he noticed,” says Jake. “All he talked about was how she came back at him and kept calling him out. He wasn’t expecting any of that. Probably too surprised to think about it. I mean we didn’t even know she was in our class until she walked in. And no one else in our class skateboards or even looks at these boards. All I know is that the dude’s gonna go CRAZY if he finds out she used this board.”
“So don’t tell,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale, and that makes us all look at him, because it’s funny to hear Charlie Parker Drysdale talk about keeping a secret.
“What?” he says as we are all staring at him. He points to the shelf. “I know I’m not supposed to tell anyone about that, so I won’t.” He pulls his fingers across his lips like he’s closing a zipper.
“Uh-oh,” says Hannah.
“What?” I say.
Then Jake looks up from the board like he’s thinking the same thing Hannah’s thinking. His mouth is open.
“What?” I ask again.
“Didn’t you say you sent—” starts Jake.
“Ohmygoshthevideo,” says Hannah.
<
br /> “Uh-oh,” I say.
Mr. MacDonald comes back in the room.
“So,” he asks with a smile, “everyone feeling better?”
Chapter 16
Skaters Know Their Boards
It is really hard to sit through computer lab and music class when your insides feel like they are thrashing around like ocean waves in the middle of a hurricane. Nothing helps. Not even bouncing your legs up and down so much they actually hurt a little. And my legs aren’t all that’s bouncing. The thoughts in my head are too. It’s like a million basketballs dropped on a court from the sky and they’re bouncing so fast and so loud I can’t think straight.
Why didn’t I just listen to Vera? Stay chill. Avoid trouble. Was that really so hard? Instead, this is what I did: I found trouble, got mad, and called Freddie names. Then I used his skateboard, the one his grandpa gave him. And the whole time, I was the opposite of chill.
At least I got the last of the scuff marks out of the board, thanks to Mr. MacDonald letting me and Hannah go downstairs to borrow the belt-sander cleaner from her father again. Now the board looks like it did before I used it.
Jake, Esther, Charlie Parker Drysdale, and Hannah are all talking at the same time on our way to the skatepark.
Hannah is saying we need a new plan in case Freddie figures out it was his board I used. Jake just keeps saying “A skater knows his board.” Esther thinks we should go buy Freddie a new one. Charlie Parker Drysdale says he can’t decide if keeping a secret really is best and that maybe we should just tell Freddie the truth and then all talk about it.
“Um…no,” I say to that last part.
“Here,” says Jake. He passes me his board.
“What?” I ask as I take it.
“You look rattled,” he says. “It’s like Mr. MacDonald says, you can’t think when you’re rattled. Just take it. Do a few runs.”
I don’t like that I can’t hide my insides, but it’s nice to know I can trust Jake to help me make them calm again.
“Over here,” says Hannah. “There’s shade from the sign. We’ll be able to see the video better in the shade. Maybe you can’t tell what the board actually looks like. Maybe all you can see is that Sibby’s just riding some unknown board.”
“I better come too,” I tell Jake.
“Trust me,” he says. “We’ll watch the video and then tell you if you can see that the board is Freddie’s. I mean, hey, maybe I didn’t zoom in close enough, right? Maybe?”
“Maybe,” I nod and take his board. “Thanks,” I say just before I do a drop in. Hearing the sound of the wheels on the cement and feeling the air against my face help my thoughts stop bouncing all over the inside of my brain.
Jake, Hannah, Esther, and Charlie Parker Drysdale are all standing under the rules sign staring at Jake’s phone.
“Can’t really see it,” says Hannah.
“She’s really far away,” says Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“Keep watching,” says Jake. “I’m telling you, if it’s even close to being in view, Freddie will know his board. We have to be sure it’s not in any of the frames.”
There’s a rainbow ahead. Not in the sky, in the middle of the park. A skatepark rainbow is cement in the shape of an arc. This one’s covering a gap filled with rocks.
Kickflip over the gap, I tell myself right before I do it.
BAM.
I land and ride back toward the gap to do it again. It’s not only the sound of the landing that makes me feel better. I mean I love that sound, but there is something else I love.
It’s being in the air and having a skateboard underneath me. Even though I’m not touching it, I know it’s there. It’s waiting for me.
BAM.
Together, the board and I land and then we glide forward. I look up at my new friends as I skate. They’re all still staring at that video, and I think about how dope it is that they make me feel the same way this board does. Like it’s okay to land.
I head toward the five-stair hubba. I’m going to 50 the whole thing.
I ollie onto the hubba and start to slide, but I shift my weight and I know I’m headed for a slam.
I bail and land on my backside.
I let my helmet touch the cement as I stare back at that hubba. And then I hear a familiar voice inside my head. But this time it’s not Vera’s, it’s Charlie Parker Drysdale’s voice from when we were arguing in the classroom. “Because you always get back up,” he had said.
So that’s what I do. I get back up, but instead of going back to the hubba, I decide to 50 the rainbow. It’s easier than doing that on a five-stair hubba.
I ollie and land at the arch of the rainbow and then 50 the half. Without thinking about it, I skate back to the hubba. I ollie onto it and start to slide. I slide until I’m almost at the end. Pop out and BAM.
It worked. Going back to the rainbow helped me conquer the hubba. And now I know what Nan meant when she said, “There’s always a way forward, even if it feels like you’re going backward in order to get there.”
I’m smiling as I skate away from the hubba.
“You always get back up.” I hear Charlie Parker Drysdale’s voice again, but this time it’s not in my head. He’s yelling it from the top of the park near the rules sign. I raise my arm in the air and wave.
“SUPER DOPE,” I hear Jake yell and then I see all of them running toward me.
“Hey, it’s okay,” says Esther as she gets closer. She’s on her scooter.
“Yeah, you totally can’t see the board,” says Hannah. “We watched it over and over.”
I am feeling the most chill I have felt all day. “That’s so good,” I say, “because I was worried about the stars on the deck hitting the sunlight. I mean if you get the right angle you could—”
“HEY,” shouts a familiar voice. “UP HERE.”
“Uh-oh,” I say.
Jake and Charlie Parker Drysdale are on one side of me and Esther and Hannah are on the other. Freddie is standing at the top of the park yelling down at me.
“YOU USED IT? BEFORE I DID?”
“This is not good,” says Esther.
“A skater always knows their board,” says Jake. “Even if it’s barely in view.”
Chapter 17
Sudden Death
Freddie and I are now face-to-face near the rules sign. He’s yelling so loud that everyone who was skateboarding is standing around watching the fireworks.
Jake keeps saying, “Dude. Easy,” but Freddie’s not listening. He’s not listening to anything. He’s not even trying. He’s holding the same board he always uses with one hand and waving his other hand around as he yells.
There’s only one way I can think of to get him to stop screaming. I reach down and grab his board.
“What the…” Freddie’s eyes are gigantic. He lunges for the board, but I pull it out of reach.
“SHUT UP!” I shout. And then in a regular voice I say, “For a minute.” And then I say, “Please.” Seems to me that people who are chill say please.
He looks at me, and then the board, and then back at me. Before he can start yelling again, I start talking.
“Yeah, I took it,” I tell him. “Totally didn’t know it was yours. Didn’t know your grandpa gave it to you. A BIG mistake. GINORMOUS. But, I just wanted to skate. That’s all. I’m sorry. I am. I’m really sorry.”
Freddie just keeps staring at me.
“Freddie, dude,” says Jake. “It was a mistake. I checked the board all over and it’s cool. Looks just like it did when your grandpa gave it to you.”
“YOU KNEW!” Freddie shouts. Now he’s staring at Jake.
“He just found out,” I say.
“What’s up with you?” says Freddie, still looking at Jake. “Didn’t even come around last night.”
“Didn’t
know till this morning,” says Jake. “Mr. MacDonald told us.”
“You sure seem chummy with this crew,” Freddie points to me, Esther, Hannah, and Charlie Parker Drysdale.
“Man, come on, you know I woulda been there if I knew,” says Jake.
“Whatever, dude. You wanna hang out with a bunch of losers, be my guest.”
“Serious,” says Jake. “This isn’t cool.”
Freddie starts hating all over me again. He’s calling me a poser and a freak show and he’s totally getting in my face. We’re nose to nose. Again. I clench my fists and not because I want to feel the trucks of a skateboard, but because I am angrier than I’ve ever been.
“You are gonna wish you never came to this school,” he says, and he’s so close to me I know he had something with onions for lunch. Yuck. I hold my breath.
“Freddie,” says Hannah. “Sibby said it was a mistake.”
Freddie doesn’t move. And neither do I.
“You need to back off,” I say, blowing out the air I was holding in.
“Or what?” he says.
I stare at Freddie and I totally see a jerk-face bully. But it’s weird, because I see something else too. I see the answer to the question Mr. MacDonald asked us. I know what scares me most.
And it’s not Freddie.
It’s not a bully.
It’s what’s already happened.
It’s all the changes.
Breaking my board. Not being able to get a new one. Feeling like I’m not a skateboarder anymore. Saying good-bye to Vera. Being so mad at Dad. Starting somewhere new. So many changes—all at once. It made me feel like I lost something. Except it wasn’t just one thing. It was a whole bunch of somethings that added up to one giant something.
But it’s okay. It’s going to keep being okay. I can do this. I don’t need to be scared anymore.
I take a deep breath and let out a whole bunch of air. My fists are no longer clenched.
Freddie’s eyes are staring at me but he’s not really seeing me. He’s just seeing what he’s lost.
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