CHAPTER XXII
When Jimmy gained courage to turn his eyes in the direction of thefamily group he had helped to assemble, he was not reassured by thereproachful glances that he met from Aggie and Zoie. It was apparentthat in their minds, he was again to blame for something. Realising thatthey dared not openly reproach him before Alfred, he decided to make hisescape while his friend was still in the room. He reached for his hatand tiptoed gingerly toward the door, but just as he was congratulatinghimself upon his decision, Alfred called to him with a mysterious air.
"Jimmy," he said, "just a minute," and he nodded for Jimmy to approach.
It must have been Jimmy's guilty conscience that made him powerlessto disobey Alfred's every command. Anyway, he slunk back to the fondparent's side, where he ultimately allowed himself to be inveigled intoswinging his new watch before the unattentive eyes of the red-facedbabes on Alfred's knees.
"Lower, Jimmy, lower," called Alfred as Jimmy absent-mindedly allowedthe watch to swing out of the prescribed orbit. "Look at the darlings,Jimmy, look at them," he exclaimed as he gazed at the small creaturesadmiringly.
"Yes, look at them, Jimmy," repeated Zoie, and she glared at Jimmybehind Alfred's back.
"Don't you wish you had one of them, Jimmy?'" asked Alfred.
"Well, _I_ wish he had," commented Zoie, and she wondered how she wasever again to detach either of them from Alfred's breast.
Before she could form any plan, the telephone rang loud andpersistently. Jimmy glanced anxiously toward the women for instructions.
"I'll answer it," said Aggie with suspicious alacrity, and she crossedquickly toward the 'phone. The scattered bits of conversation that Zoiewas able to gather from Aggie's end of the wire did not tend to sootheher over-excited nerves. As for Alfred, he was fortunately so engrossedwith the babies that he took little notice of what Aggie was saying.
"What woman?" asked Aggie into the 'phone. "Where's she from?" Theanswer was evidently not reassuring. "Certainly not," exclaimed Aggie,"don't let her come up; send her away. Mrs. Hardy can't see anyone atall." Then followed a bit of pantomime between Zoie and Aggie, fromwhich it appeared that their troubles were multiplying, then Aggie againgave her attention to the 'phone. "I don't know anything about her," shefibbed, "that woman must have the wrong address." And with that she hungup the receiver and came towards Alfred, anxious to get possession ofhis two small charges and to get them from the room, lest the mother whowas apparently downstairs should thrust herself into their midst.
"What's the trouble, Aggie?" asked Alfred, and he nodded toward thetelephone.
"Oh, just some woman with the wrong address," answered Aggie withaffected carelessness. "You'd better let me take the babies now,Alfred."
"Take them where?" asked Alfred with surprise.
"To bed," answered Aggie sweetly, "they are going to sleep in the nextroom with Jimmy and me." She laid a detaining hand on Jimmy's arm.
"What's the hurry?" asked Alfred a bit disgruntled.
"It's very late," argued Aggie.
"Of course it is," insisted Zoie. "Please, Alfred," she pleaded, "do letAggie take them."
Alfred rose reluctantly. "Mother knows best," he sighed, but ignoringAggie's outstretched arms, he refused to relinquish the joy of himselfcarrying the small mites to their room, and he disappeared with the twoof them, singing his now favourite lullaby.
When Alfred had left the room, Jimmy, who was now seated comfortably inthe rocker, was rudely startled by a sharp voice at either side of him.
"Well!" shrieked Zoie, with all the disapproval that could be got intothe one small word.
"You're very clever, aren't you?" sneered Aggie at Jimmy's other elbow.
Jimmy stared from one to the other.
"A nice fix you've got me into NOW," reproved Zoie.
"Why didn't you get out when you had the chance?" demanded Aggie.
"You would take your own sweet time, wouldn't you," said Zoie.
"What did I tell you?" asked Aggie.
"What does he care?" exclaimed Zoie, and she walked up and down the roomexcitedly, oblivious of the disarrangement of her flying negligee. "He'sperfectly comfortable."
"Oh yes," assented Jimmy, as he sank back into the rocker andbegan propelling himself to and fro. "I never felt better," but adisinterested observer would have seen in him the picture of discomfort.
"You're going to feel a great deal WORSE," he was warned by Aggie. "Doyou know who that was on the telephone?" she asked.
Jimmy looked at her mutely.
"The mother!" said Aggie emphatically
"What!" exclaimed Jimmy.
"She's down stairs," explained Aggie.
Jimmy had stopped rocking--his face now wore an uneasy expression.
"It's time you showed a little human intelligence," taunted Zoie, thenshe turned her back upon him and continued to Aggie, "what did she say?"
"She says," answered Aggie, with a threatening glance toward Jimmy,"that she won't leave this place until Jimmy gives her baby back."
"Let her have her old baby," said Jimmy. "I don't want it."
"You don't want it?" snapped Zoie indignantly, "what have YOU got to dowith it?"
"Oh nothing, nothing," acquiesced Jimmy meekly, "I'm a mere detail."
"A lot you care what becomes of me," exclaimed Zoie reproachfully; thenshe turned to Aggie with a decided nod. "Well, I want it," she asserted.
"But Zoie," protested Aggie in astonishment, "you can't mean to keepBOTH of them?"
"I certainly DO," said Zoie.
"What?" cried Aggie and Jimmy in concert.
"Jimmy has presented Alfred with twins," continued Zoie testily, "andnow, he has to HAVE twins."
Jimmy's eyes were growing rounder and rounder.
"Do you know," continued Zoie, with a growing sense of indignation,"what would happen to me if I told Alfred NOW that he WASN'T the fatherof twins? He'd fly straight out of that door and I'd never see himagain."
Aggie admitted that Zoie was no doubt speaking the truth.
"Jimmy has awakened Alfred's paternal instinct for twins," declaredZoie, with another emphatic nod of her head, "and now Jimmy must takethe consequences."
Jimmy tried to frame a few faint objections, but Zoie waved him aside,with a positive air. "It's no use arguing. If it were only ONE, itwouldn't be so bad, but to tell Alfred that he's lost twins, he couldn'tlive through it."
"But Zoie," argued Aggie, "we can't have that mother hanging around downstairs until that baby is an old man. She'll have us arrested, the nextthing."
"Why arrest US?" asked Zoie, with wide baby eyes. "WE didn't take it.Old slow-poke took it." And she nodded toward the now utterly vanquishedJimmy.
"That's right," murmured Jimmy, with a weak attempt at sarcasm, "don'tleave me out of anything good."
"It doesn't matter WHICH one she arrests," decided the practical Aggie.
"Well, it matters to me," objected Zoie.
"And to me too, if it's all the same to you," protested Jimmy.
"Whoever it is," continued Aggie, "the truth is bound to come out.Alfred will have to know sooner or later, so we might as well make aclean breast of it, first as last."
"That's the first sensible thing you've said in three months," declaredJimmy with reviving hope.
"Oh, is that so?" sneered Zoie, and she levelled her most malicious lookat Jimmy. "What do you think Alfred would do to YOU, Mr. Jimmy, if heknew the truth? YOU'RE the one who sent him the telegram; you are theone who told him that he was a FATHER."
"That's true," admitted Aggie, with a wrinkled forehead.
Zoie was quick to see her advantage. She followed it up. "And Alfredhasn't any sense of humour, you know."
"How could he have?" groaned Jimmy; "he's married." And with that hesank into his habitual state of dumps.
"Your sarcasm will do a great deal of good," flashed Zoie. Then shedismissed him with a nod, and crossed to her dressing table.
"But Zoie," persisted Aggie
, as she followed her young friend intrepidation, "don't you realise that if you persist in keeping thisbaby, that mother will dog Jimmy's footsteps for the rest of his life?"
"That will be nice," murmured Jimmy.
Zoie busied herself with her toilet, and turned a deaf ear to Aggie.There was a touch of genuine emotion in Aggie's voice when shecontinued.
"Just think of it, Zoie, Jimmy will never be able to come and go like afree man again."
"What do I care how he comes and goes?" exclaimed Zoie impatiently. "IfJimmy had gone when we told him to go, that woman would have had her oldbaby by now; but he didn't, oh no! All he ever does is to sit around andtalk about his dinner."
"Yes," cried Jimmy hotly, "and that's about as far as I ever GET withit."
"You'll never get anywhere with anything," was Zoie's exasperatinganswer. "You're too slow."
"Well, there's nothing slow about you," retorted Jimmy, stung to afrenzy by her insolence.
"Oh please, please," interposed Aggie, desperately determined to keepthese two irascible persons to the main issue. "What are we going totell that mother?"
"You can tell her whatever you like," answered Zoie, with an impudenttoss of her head, "but I'll NOT give up that baby until I get ANOTHERone.'
"Another?" almost shrieked Jimmy. It was apparent that he must needsincrease the number of his brain cells if he were to follow thisextraordinary young woman's line of thought much further. "You don'texpect to go on multiplying them forever, do you?" he asked.
"YOU are the one who has been multiplying them," was Zoie'sdisconcerting reply.
It was evident to Jimmy that he could not think fast enough nor clearlyenough to save himself from a mental disaster if he continued to arguewith the shameless young woman, so he contented himself by rocking toand fro and murmuring dismally that he had "known from the first that itwas to be an endless chain."
While Zoie and Jimmy had been wrangling, Aggie had been weighing thepros and cons of the case. She now turned to Jimmy with a tone of firmbut motherly decision. "Zoie is quite right," she said.
Jimmy rolled his large eyes up at his spouse with a "you too, Brutus,"expression.
Aggie continued mercilessly, "It's the only way, Jimmy."
No sooner had Aggie arrived at her decision than Zoie upset hertranquillity by a triumphant expression of "I have it."
Jimmy and Aggie gazed at Zoie's radiant face in consternation. They wereaccustomed to see only reproach there. Her sudden enthusiasm increasedJimmy's uneasiness.
"YOU have it," he grunted without attempting to conceal his disgust."SHE'S the one who generally has it." And he nodded toward Aggie.
Inflamed by her young friend's enthusiasm, Aggie rushed to her eagerly.
"What is it, Zoie?" she asked.
"The washerwoman!" exclaimed Zoie, as though the revelation had comestraight from heaven. "SHE HAD TWINS," and with that, two pairs of eyesturned expectantly toward the only man in the room.
Tracing the pattern of the rug with his toe, Jimmy remained stubbornlyoblivious of their attentions. He rearranged the pillows on the couch,and finally, for want of a better occupation, he wound his watch. All tono avail. He could feel Zoie's cat-like gaze upon him.
"Jimmy can get the other one," she said.
"The hell I can," exclaimed Jimmy, starting to his feet and no longerconsidering time or place.
The two women gazed at him reproachfully.
"Jimmy!" cried Aggie, in a shocked, hurt voice. "That's the first timeI've ever heard you swear."
"Well, it won't be the LAST time," declared Jimmy hotly, "if THIS keepsup." His eyes were blazing. He paced to and fro like an infuriated lion.
"Dearest," said Aggie, "you look almost imposing."
"Nonsense," interrupted Zoie, who found Jimmy unusually ridiculous. "IfI'd known that Jimmy was going to put such an idea into Alfred's head,I'd have got the two in the first place."
"Will she let us HAVE the other?" asked Aggie with some misgiving.
"Of course she will," answered Zoie, leaving Jimmy entirely out ofthe conversation. "She's as poor as a church mouse. I'll pay her well.She'll never miss it. What could she do with one twin, anyway?"
A snort of rage from Jimmy did not disturb Zoie's enthusiasm. Sheproceeded to elaborate her plan.
"I'll adopt them," she declared, "I'll leave them all Alfred's money.Think of Alfred having real live twins for keeps."
"It would be nice, wouldn't it?" commented Jimmy sarcastically.
Zoie turned to Jimmy, as though they were on the best of terms.
"How much money have you?" she asked.
Before Jimmy could declare himself penniless, Aggie answered for himwith the greatest enthusiasm, "He has a whole lot; he drew some today."
"Good!" exclaimed Zoie to the abashed Jimmy, and then she continued in amatter-of-fact tone, "Now, Jimmy," she said, "you go give the washwomanwhat money you have on account, then tell her to come around here in themorning when Alfred has gone out and I'll settle all the details withher. Go on now, Jimmy," she continued, "you don't need another letter."
"No," chimed in Aggie sweetly; "you know her now, dear."
"Oh, yes," corroborated Jimmy, with a sarcastic smile and withoutbudging from the spot on which he stood, "we are great pals now."
"What's the matter?" asked Zoie, astonished that Jimmy was not startingon his mission with alacrity. "What are you waiting for?"
Jimmy merely continued to smile enigmatically.
"You know what happened the last time you hesitated," warned Aggie.
"I know what happened when I DIDN'T hesitate," ruminated Jimmy, stillholding his ground.
Zoie's eyes were wide with surprise. "You don't mean to say," sheexclaimed incredulously, "that you aren't GOING--after we have thoughtall this out just to SAVE you?"
"Say," answered Jimmy, with a confidential air, "do me a favour, willyou? Stop thinking out things to 'save me.'"
"But, Jimmy----" protested both women simultaneously; but before theycould get further Alfred's distressed voice reached them from the nextroom.
"Aggie!" he called frantically.
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