“This is it, James. I’m done.” Her voice is so quiet, it’s nothing more than a whisper of sound, and that scares me more than anything.
“You are not done,” I shout, as if to make up for her lack of sound. “You signed up to kill Alain, and that is exactly what you are going to do – and you can’t kill him if you’re dead.” I spit that last sentence out with as much venom as I can muster before diving back between her legs. Lois is not holding out on me. She will give me this last climax. She has to.
Adie and I watch her sink back through the water yet again, and the silence is a crushing weight between us. Neither of us know what to say. Defeat is staring us straight in the eye and we can’t accept it, although we know exactly what’s coming.
No. It can’t end this way. Of all the things I’ve had to go through, this is by far the worst, and I can’t take it anymore. I will not let you die. I will not let you die. The words ring hollow inside my head.
This time I really am going to lose it.
Chapter Five – Lois
You signed up to kill Alain, and you can’t kill him if you’re dead. James’s voice echoes in my ears as I go under for the last time. There is no more energy left in me for another attempt at the surface. My stomach muscles are screaming and the whip marks on my back feel like they’ve been branded into my skin. All the fight has left me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. If my death happens here, in this cold, dark, miserable room, then so be it. Perhaps I should even be grateful because it could have been so much worse.
James doesn’t give up above me. He’s attacking my clit as if it’s a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, but the swollen nub between my legs doesn’t want to know. Every single lick or touch is agony. Every flick of his tongue is a murder of mashed nerve endings and engorged flesh. My body is one seething mass of agony that resonates outwards from within. There is not one single ounce of pleasure left to be had inside me. If I was a sheet of paper, someone has now ripped me to shreds and crumpled me up into a ball. I am as light as a feather and yet heavier than the weight of the shit that is crashing down upon me from all angles. Put quite simply, I am done.
Fuck this. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. That’s not who you are. If you’re going to die, at least do it with a smile upon your face. I intend to spit in the eye of God because the man upstairs clearly hates me. If I’m irredeemable, I may as well put on my bravest face as I prepare to join the other side.
Clearing all thoughts of religion from my head, I decide that the image I’m going to focus on until my lungs collapse, is the one of James and Adie fucking me in Adamantines. The one where James is taking my throat, while Adie alternates between my pussy and ass, all the while brandishing a flogger above me. Fuck that was hot. If someone had stuck a rod up my backside and roasted me upside down on a spit, it still wouldn’t have compared. The two men beside me have the ability to send my body into hyper-drive and they barely have to try. Even Adie with his fucking cane. You have no idea how badly I’d wanted to come after that. The man whips me raw and bloody, and I want to climax. Go figure. The denial of pleasure is almost as bad as having too much of it. There’s just no happy medium in my world these days. Everyone wants a piece of me.
Against all the odds, my clit then decides to spark back into life. There’s the merest flutter of something there, and I wonder if I do have one more wrenching press up left in my body. I think my burgeoning arousal is probably due to lack of oxygen. My lungs currently feel like they’re on fire, but I reckon I can drag one more out. I owe James that much. You signed up to kill Alain, and you can’t kill him if you’re dead. Those words are going to haunt me, I swear. Using every last ounce of willpower I have left, I haul my body back out of the water, and the pain of doing so is crippling. My nipples feel like someone’s shoved a needle through them as the floats burst through the water, my back is in agony, my stomach screams as the muscles cramp, and my lungs are about to pop. Taking a great big gulp of air, my eyes connect with James and I expect him to look petrified at what’s about to happen, but he doesn’t. His lips are between my legs, his tongue is fucking my pussy, and gives me the filthiest look you can imagine before winking at me. Meanwhile, his fingers are inside my cunt and ass, pumping and stroking. They feel incredible. The air is now charged with electricity and some of it seeps into my bloodstream. How could it not? That man is a fucking god with his hands and mouth. He would make someone a wonderful husband, if Alain hadn’t royally fucked him over. One day. If James can get me out of this mess, I will kill Alain Dumortier. It will be my present to James. He deserves his life back. He deserves a future with more than loneliness and old age to look forward to. One day, I will give him that.
Sinking back through the water, I then change the path of my thoughts. This is my last shot at life and I need to give it all I’ve got. Placing myself back at Adamantines, I relive my threesome with two of the most beautiful men I have ever seen. I remember each beautiful thrust, twist and lunge. Every vicious slap. Each nuance of arousal as it recreated the landscape around us. The soft moans, the sharp intakes of breath, the grunts, the hisses, and the scent of arousal upon the air. It was dirty, filthy sex, and that’s what made it so amazing.
Thoughts fly through my head and I am so damn close, I can almost taste victory. The trouble is, my eyes are dancing with black spots. It’s going to be a tight race. Even though my body is now shutting down, desire rages through me as all these images flash through my brain, clamouring for attention. In the end, it’s James’s face I see as I begin to lose consciousness. Those incredible, pale blue eyes are staring at me, filled with anger and fire. Once again I am on top of him, as his wrists are shackled above him, and there’s a cowlick of hair that has dropped over his face, slick with sweat. He’s fighting me, but he can’t hide his desire. That’s evident by the magnificent flagpole I’m riding underneath me. God, I can’t think straight. I’m so dizzy my head is all over the place. James’s face goes out of focus for a second, and then wavers in and out, in splotchy areas of my brain. My body is now bursting for release. The area of black inside my head spills further, covering my delicious thoughts of fucking and depravity. I want James underneath me again. I want him on top. I want him every which way in-between. The stain spreads inside my head, darkening everything it touches. Finally, the blackness is complete, but inside, I’m smiling.
“Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.” It’s Adie’s voice, and he’s screaming at someone. I don’t care what he’s mad about. I’m in a floaty, faraway place, about to drift off somewhere nice. He can yell all he likes, I’m not going to pay him any attention. There’s a loud bang from somewhere, a door perhaps, but that barely registers. I don’t even flinch. I’m not bothered by bangs and slams. I’m sliding around on a wave of euphoria. “Open your mouth and breathe, woman.” I ignore that, too. Bright white lights are coming for me. They are so damn pretty. I wish I could touch them.
“Fucking breathe!” Unfortunately, I can’t ignore the whiplash of a hand that crashes into my cheek, sending me flying. My mouth automatically opens in shock, as ribbons of water fly everywhere. I begin choking. I can’t get enough air inside me. Great, hacking coughs fill the air, as my lungs try to figure out what the hell is happening.
“Oh, my fucking God. She’s alive. She’s alive.” My eyes flutter open, riddled with pain, to see James sliding down to the floor, with nothing behind him to stop his fall. His legs have just given way. Adie is currently trying to untie me, which won’t be the easiest task, when you consider I’m shaking like a leaf – a very wet one – that is guaranteed to soak everything it touches.
Someone has put the lights on because my eyes feel blinded. I have to blink a couple of times to dispel the glare that surrounds me. My gaze then focuses on James, who looks terrible. His hands are trembling, his mouth is drawn in a tight, straight line, and his eyes look like they’ve seen a ghost. His expression is twisted in a rictus of horror, and although he’s looking straight at me, I know he can�
�t see me. At the moment, he’s trapped inside his head.
Adie gets my arms free first. They drop down in front of my face, limp as a wet rag. I don’t have the strength to lift them. Coughing up the last few drops of water, I do my best to clear my throat. It takes several attempts, but after a few growls and splutters, I’m finally able to say something.
“If I’ve died and gone to heaven, this isn’t quite what I imagined.” I cough again. “I’m not complaining,” I say, sniffing. “We’re halfway there, but I was hoping for more nakedness and a bed.” Adie grins.
“Unless I’m much mistaken, the thought of sex is the furthest thing from your mind, right now.” His tongue is firmly in his cheek. How can he find this shit funny? It doesn’t matter, though. His grin is infectious, and I laugh, before remembering how much pain I’m in. Then I nearly cry.
“Everything fucking hurts,” I groan. Adie is now tackling the chains around my legs, and he needs to hurry. My head feels like it’s about to explode.
“I know,” he purrs gently in that rough Spanish accent I so adore, “but you’re alive, and that’s more than we’d hoped for, so just hang on in there. I’m working as fast as I can.”
“You need to get those floats off me,” I whine. My nipples are screaming. If they had voices, you’d be hearing every swear word under the sun right now. I want them off.
“We’ll have a bath first. You know the drill.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere near water, ever again,” I say, and I shudder.
Adie snorts. “Next you’ll be telling me you don’t want to have sex ever again, either.” He rolls his eyes. I have no idea how he’s managed to retain his sense of humour throughout this whole, sorry ordeal, but mine flew out of the window when I found myself chained upside down in a plastic tank.
“At the moment, that’s a distinct possibility,” I moan, as I suddenly crash into his arms when the last of the chains are released. Thankfully, he catches me easily. “I don’t think I’m going to be the same down there, ever again.” I am so sore between my legs, I will have to walk bow-legged for the next week at least.
“Fifty quid says you’ll be begging for sex by tomorrow morning.” Adie kisses my forehead gently and grins. “Thank fuck you’re alive, Lo. I was beginning to wonder if you’d pull through.”
“You and me both,” I whisper. Adie clutches me tightly to his chest and rubs his face in my hair. I can hear him breathing me in as his hands grip me tighter.
“You smell of chlorine, but I’d still do you.” He nods, as if he’s almost surprised by his answer.
“You aren’t coming anywhere near me,” I say, wanting to shake my head, but unable to summon enough energy to do so. I settle for a dark look instead. I’m then swung around as we head towards the door.
“Wait. I need to see James,” I whisper. He’s still sat on the floor, eyes staring off into space, and the poor man looks as traumatised as I am, if not more so. “Let me go,” I say to Adie, when we stop right next to him.
“No. You won’t be able to stand.” Adie pays no attention to my complaints on this matter, and instead settles us both down on the floor besides James, who is still staring blankly into the distance. I’m not sure he’s noticed we’re next to him, even though drops of water are flying all over the place.
“Thank you,” I whisper, as one trembling hand reaches out to stroke his face. I’m shivering all over uncontrollably, but I can’t go without checking up on him. My fingers linger on his cheek, but I get nothing, not even a glance. My hand wobbles, and then flops, before Adie grabs it and tucks it back into his chest.
“Will you be okay, James?” My voice is a little louder this time, as I try to break through the murky miasma of despair that surrounds him. It’s like trying to push past rose bushes, though. The thorns around him are long and prickly, and they won’t let me get close.
“James? Are you still in there?” My voice breaks on the last words and the tears that have been tightly suppressed until now rise swiftly to the surface. “Speak to me, James. I need to hear your voice.” I search his face for some sign of life, but he’s completely blank. It’s as if someone has ripped out his brain and left an empty shell in its place. I don’t recognise the man sitting before me. The lights are on, but he’s not home.
Adie ruffles the hair on top of James’s head and then gets to his feet. “Leave him be, Lois. He’ll come around in his own time. I’ll take you to see him first thing tomorrow. Right now, he needs space. The poor bloke thought you were going to die, and that he would be the one responsible for it. It’s going to take him a while to deal with that. He knows where we are if he needs us.”
Against all of my protests, Adie marches me through the halls until we get to his room. When we get inside, it smells of him – the scent is spicy, reminiscent of the Orient, and utterly overwhelming. I want to dive straight into this essence, and I inhale it deeply.
“Still getting used to having air in your lungs?” Adie smiles at me dryly. I can’t smile back. I still feel bad for James.
“Do you think he’ll be okay?” I ask. Adie doesn’t answer straight away. He’s laid me under the covers of the bed, and is currently peeling his clothes off while running us a bath. My shivering hasn’t stopped, and he figures a bath is the best way to get my body temperature up to where it needs to be.
Adie turns to look at me and his expression is serious. He bites his lip as he thinks about the question. “I don’t know," he says eventually. “He wasn’t okay after he lost the last one, and you mean much more to him than her. She was just a one-night stand. If he lost you, it would kill him, and I’m not just saying that. After I’ve taken care of you, I’ll go back down and get him back in his room. I don’t think he’ll be able to move without help.”
“Go get him now. I’m not going anywhere.” I’m worried about him, and I won’t be able to relax until he’s taken care of.
“No.” Adie’s voice is firm. “You’re my priority at the moment. You’re cold. You’ve been knocked out. You’ve just been through a massive physical ordeal, and you’ve nearly drowned to death. I am not leaving your side until I’m confident you’ll be okay. After we’ve had a bath, we’ll get you dressed and checked over by a medic. Then you’re going to sleep. After that, I’ll sort James out. At the moment, he needs time, and that’s what we’re giving him. As long as you’re alive, he’ll be okay. Trust me.”
I open my mouth to argue, but Adie places a finger against my lips. “Don’t fight me on this, Lois, or I swear to God I’ll give you another bloody orgasm.” My jaw snaps shut. He means what he says, and I know I’m wasting my breath.
“He’d better be alright,” I grumble. “If anything happens to him, I’m holding you responsible.” He doesn’t bother answering me. Peeling back the duvet covers, he slides one arm under my back and another under my backside and then walks us through to the bathroom. Placing me gently in the bath, he then gets in and arranges me on top of him.
“Is it warm enough?” Grabbing a handful of my hair, he pulls my head back in to his chest. He then picks up a sponge. I roll my eyes. Always the fucking dominant. These two men will be the death of me.
“It’s hot,” I confirm. “I’m not an invalid. I can wash myself.”
“You nearly died back there, and you can barely stand up without help. Be quiet and let me take care of you.” Lathering up the sponge, he then gently washes me, using it so lightly it almost flutters over my skin. I cannot believe this is the same man who crashed a whip into my back less than twelve hours ago. Although I’m grateful for his light touch, I’m also surprised.
“Where did the sadist go?” Snuggling into his back, the water begins to pulse life back into my body, which is when the two floats bobbing on the water begin to tug at my poor nipples. I’d almost forgotten about them.
Adie bites my neck hard. “Nowhere.” He then releases one of the clamps and pushes my body further under the water until my breasts are submerged. The pain is
intense but manageable. “Think you can tolerate me releasing another one, or do you want a breather?” He licks my ear and I squirm. To further distract me, the sponge then begins soaping my legs.
“If you go anywhere near my undercarriage, I swear I’ll slit your throat – and I mean it,” I growl. Adie thinks this is hilarious and I hear him sniggering behind me. I’m not sure whether it was my choice of words, or the fact that I don’t want him touching me, but whatever it is, it has him in hysterics.
“I think you might be the first woman, in the history of ever, to tell me to stop touching her,” he finally manages to get out. Adie pretends to look flabbergasted.
“Get over yourself,” I grumble. “Besides, I bet lots of woman have told you that while you’re torturing them.” I roll my eyes and keep a careful eye on the sponge.
“Am I torturing you now?” He dips the sponge back in the water and then boops my nose with it.
He has a point. “I’m not sure. I have a feeling the answer will be yes when that last clamp comes off.” At the moment, the pain is bearable, but I have a feeling it won’t be when the second one takes flight.
“If I could fuck you, I’d take the pain away, but we both know you can’t cope with that right now.” He isn’t kidding. The tank may have put me off sex for life. The thought of anything coming near my clit brings tears to my eyes.
“I’m never having sex ever again,” I say adamantly. “Tomorrow morning I’m joining a convent. I think I’ll look pretty good in black and white. You seem to do okay on it.”
I can feel Adie’s lips twitch against my skin, but he holds back his laughter as he kisses me. “Tomorrow morning you are going to wake up to me in bed, worshipping your body, and you want to become a nun? I think I’m offended.”
“Think or know?” I counter, when I feel his hand reach for the second float. I know what’s about to happen, so I grit my teeth in preparation for more misery.
Embers: A Dark Romance Love Triangle (A Special Agent Novel Book 5) Page 5
