“It’s a map, to the beach. In case things don’t work out at the base. I hope they do so you can see your sister again maybe, I know how important that is. But you know, in case.”
I smiled, “I thought you were mad at me earlier.”
“No, just a little disappointed. I thought you might stay with us. Well, I wanted you too.”
I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’d like too but this is just something I have to do.”
“I get that,” he said and took me in his arms for a long embrace. I didn’t want to let go. He gave me a light kiss bye. “Good luck Shelly, watch out for the dead.”
“You too,” I said feeling weak.
That kiss threw me under a bus. I really didn’t want to part ways now. But we did. I waved to them as they set off in the other direction.
I set off towards the gates that were maybe 100 yards away or so. It didn’t take long at all to get there. I couldn’t believe the feeling of euphoria that filled every part of my body seeing the gates to the Navy Base. I’d made it finally. After all this time, I’d finally made it.
I walked up to the gate and was met by an annoyed guard. Before I could speak he barked, “Sorry, no access.”
“I was told to come here from the Air Force base,” I pulled out my I.D. to show him. “They told me you’d be sending out ships to the mainland.” I finished still foolishly hopeful.
His face changed then, “When did they tell you to come?”
“Four days ago. I’ve had trouble getting here. My car broke down, ran into more than a few zombies, and the typhoon.”
“Ma’am we had to stop sending the ships out. We couldn’t risk sending out anymore.”
I felt my heart drop past my intestines, past my knees and feet, and hit the ground. Deep down I knew this might happen but I had been hoping so hard.
Another guard appeared from the booth. He was a great looking black man with strong muscles and deep beautiful brown eyes.
“Unfortunately we can’t let you on base,” the guard in front of me said.
“What’s going on?” asked the new guard.
The one I’d been talking to explained the situation. I didn’t hear a word; I was drowning in my own thoughts.
“Ma’am,” the new guard said to me. “I’m Calimerrio Brown, you can call me Cal. What’s your name?”
He was speaking to me very softly, almost whispering.
“Shelly McCormick.”
“And your husband’s name was?”
“Adam,” I said looking at him in confusion.
He nodded. “Jax, this is my friend Adam’s wife Shelly. I went to college with Adam, roommates. Haven’t seen him in ages. We’ve been meaning to get together since we’ve both been stationed here. Haven’t found the time though, have we?” He looked back at me and winked.
“No,” I lied feeling more confused, “it’s been crazy.”
“She can stay with us. You mind if I take her to my house,” he stated more than asked. “I’ll be back fast. I know Vanetta would love to see her. Shelly hasn’t seen Nicolasa since she was a baby.”
The other guard was contemplating this new information hard, “We have orders.”
“Special circumstances.”
Jax sighed, “Okay but your post will be an extra hour.”
Cal smiled. “That’s no problem. Follow me Shell.”
I was confused by what had just happened but I followed Cal past the gate.
“It’s not a far walk,” he told me.
When we got out of earshot of Jax he said, “Hope you don’t mind. Jax told me what you’d been through and I know you’d be safer here than stuck out there.”
“No, thank you for sticking your neck out like that for me.”
He smiled, “No problem. Not sure he completely bought it though; he’s not a thick as he looks.”
I giggled, “Maybe not but it still worked.”
We walked for half a mile past official buildings. There was no one out. Cal told me that the base was on complete lockdown. No one was really allowed outside unless escorted by someone on duty like I was or those who were assigned to deliver rations for the week.
He told me they shut down the commissary before the national announcement so they could control the food supply. They’ve been delivering food to everyone on base based on how many people they have in their home. He told me the official word is they still have a few more weeks before they’ll completely run out.
“They’ve had to keep it heavily guarded,” he said, “The commissary. People have been trying to break in and steal their own food. It’s just a panic reaction. I don’t think any of them mean a bit of harm.”
“What happens when the food runs out?” I asked
“They have a greenhouse somewhere. Growing veggies. The people delivering the food will probably be assigned hunting duties. Plus the wild chickens are great for eggs. We’ve managed to keep a few in our garage,” he said with a smile.
He also told me the lockdown had been hard on his daughter Nicolasa known as Lasa. “She loves to play outside and since the base hasn’t been affected by the outbreak, she really doesn’t understand why she has to stay in.”
“How old is she?”
“Five.”
I nodded. It stung because Jackie came to mind. She was only a year older than this little girl. I swallowed hard and didn’t say anything.
I was grateful that Cal had taken it upon himself to help me but I was thinking I probably should’ve stayed with Phoebe and Daniel. I was so crushed that my sister was completely snatched from me. I would never know how she was. If she made it or not. It broke my heart. All I’ve been through was starting to pile on me and make me feel like it would kill me before too long.
We arrived at Cal’s house. “Welcome to our mansion,” he joked as he opened the door.
“Daddy,” I heard a little girl say as she ran to hug her father.
She was adorable with wild curly hair.
Cal picked her up into his arms and said, “Hey sweetie.”
“I thought you weren’t going to be home until…” a beautiful woman coming out of the kitchen had begun to say, she stopped abruptly at the sight of me. I wished once again that I had stayed with Daniel and Phoebe.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Cal put his daughter down and said, “Let me talk to you for a second. I’ll be right back,” he added to me before disappearing into the kitchen with his wife.
Lasa eyeballed me suspiciously.
“Hi,” I said. “I’m Shelly.”
I looked and saw there were coloring books on the floor.
“You want to show me what you’ve been coloring?”
She smiled then, “I’ve been doing really good. I’ve stayed mostly in the lines and everything. Come see.” She grabbed my hand and led me to her coloring books.
I sat down on the ground next to her and she showed me the picture she’d been working on of Hello Kitty. She had other coloring books lying around. One of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that she told me a solider had brought with their food. She said she wished he had brought her something she liked more and laughed when I said there was a boy probably upset that he had a Hello Kitty coloring book.
“Well, my friend Tina would love it, she used to watch that show all the time but I can’t give it to her. They won’t let us leave the house,” she pouted.
That’s when Cal and his wife came out of the kitchen. I stood up and smiled.
“Hi Shelly,” she said and extended her hand. “I’m Vanetta.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said and shook her hand.
Cal had to get back to his guard duty. He kissed Lasa and Vanetta bye and left.
Vanetta led me upstairs and showed me to the room I’d be staying in. It was a nice guest room with a double bed covered in a light blue comforter. I could tell Vanetta was not happy with my being there but she was trying to be pleasant. I couldn’t say I blamed her, if my
husband had brought some woman home out of the blue, I would’ve been more than a little upset myself. However, these circumstances were different. Still I understood and didn’t take it personally.
I wanted to let her know the extent of my gratitude but had no idea how too.
“Thank you for doing this,” I began, “letting me stay. It’s…”
“Cal told me what you’ve been through. It’s the least we could do.”
“Still, thank you.”
She smiled and nodded, “You’re welcome.”
Chapter 19
I went through my bag to get out some different clothes. When I pulled out the shirt I wanted, Jackie’s stuffed animal I had tossed in the backpack fell to the ground. I hadn’t thought about it since I left the house and it got shoved towards the bottom of the bag.
I picked it up off the floor and held it in my hands. I lifted the soft white cloth to my face. It smelled like Jackie, the combination of the strawberry shampoo and bubble bath that she loved. I began to cry. Much harder and more violently than I could’ve imagined was still in me. I realized then that I hadn’t stopped to properly grieve and now I had nothing left to chase, to distract me. I was alone now with my grief.
At some point I had sat down on the bed but I didn’t remember doing it. I sat there for a long time, the tears coming out of me like they’d finally burst through a dam. I couldn’t stop and I grew more exhausted. I managed to change my clothes and lay down. I cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up I was a bit startled by the sight of Lasa standing over me.
“Sorry,” she said when I jumped.
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I said and wiped my eyes as I sat up.
“What’s this?” she asked picking up Jackie’s toy from beside me. “You need stuffed animals to sleep too?”
“No,” I began, “That belongs to my daughter Jackie.”
“Oh, where is she?”
“She didn’t make it sweetie.”
“You mean she died like Bambi’s mom?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
She looked very sad then, “I’m sorry but she went to heaven right?”
I gave a weak smile, “yeah, she went to heaven.”
“This is a cool stuffed animal,” she said handing it back to me. “She had good taste.”
I smiled, “She did that. It was her favorite. She slept with it and took it almost everywhere.”
“How old was she?”
“Six.”
“I’m almost six; I’ll be six next month.”
“Really? She turned six two months ago. She would’ve liked you I think.”
“What was her name?”
“Jackie.”
I hadn’t really talked about Jackie to this length before. I don’t know what it was about this sweet little girl that made me open up. Or maybe it was just time to open up about her. I’d talked to Daniel and Phoebe briefly but I wanted to seem so strong that I didn’t let myself come undone. The façade was over now, I couldn’t hold on to that illusion of strength anymore.
“You want to watch over it for me?” I asked handing her the little stuffed animal.
“Me?”
“Yeah, I think Jackie would like to know someone is appreciating it like she would have.”
She had a big smile on her face, “Thanks, I’ll take really good care of it, I promise.”
She turned around and ran out of the room going, “Mom!”
I sat alone in the room for a few minutes still feeling completely exhausted. I took a deep breath and grabbed the last bottle of water I had in my bag. I took a long refreshing sip.
I got up and walked into the hall. Vanetta was just coming out of her room. Lasa ran past her and bound down the stairs.
“I overheard you talking to Lasa,” she said wrapping her arms around her waist. “I’m really sorry about your daughter.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
She then took me into a strong embrace, taking me completely off guard. I hugged her back after recovering from the shock of it.
She let go and walked down the hallway to the stairs.
“Honestly, I was a little pissed when Cal brought you home.”
I laughed, “I completely understand. I wouldn’t have liked it much either.”
“Cal’s got such a big heart. Helps where he thinks it’s needed. And I’m still not used to this new situation we find ourselves in.”
“Me either.”
She nodded, “you want to help me fix dinner?”
“Least I could do for you putting a roof over my head.”
She laughed and I followed her down the stairs. Vanetta made stuffed peppers with ground chicken and taco seasoning. She said something about having to get creative with her meals since the rations. The stove still worked since it was a gas stove.
I made a salad and buttered the bread to be toasted. It wasn’t much but it helped to just be moving and doing something.
We talked a bit. I told her about Adam and that whole situation. She had a butcher knife in her hand and demonstrated on a carrot how she would’ve taken care of him. I began to laugh extremely hard. It was the hardest I’d laughed since all this shit began.
We ate when Cal got home by candle and lantern light. It was a delicious meal. Vanetta was an amazing cook. Lasa complimented me on the salad. It was adorable of her.
It was lovely to be with this family but I found myself worried and wondering about Daniel and Phoebe. I missed them terribly. It was amazing really how attached I’d become to them. They had become like a family to me and helped me survive.
After dinner, I went to bed. Since the dam broke inside me I was nothing but tired.
It wasn’t very long before I felt someone shaking me and I opened my eyes.
“Shelly,” Lasa said. “Would you like some company? I don’t really like sleeping by myself but I know I bother my dad and he’s got to get up early.”
I smiled, “sure sweetie. You can sleep in here.”
She crawled in the other side of the bed.
“Shelly, can you tell me a story?”
“Sure,” I said.
I always made up stories for Jackie to get her to sleep. Mostly because I could never remember all of what happened in a story or I confused one story with another.
“What kind of story?”
“A princess story.”
“Alright, once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who longed to leave her palace walls. But her father, the King, was fearful that she would be in danger if ever she left. Tired of always being stuck on the grounds of the castle she decided she would run away. She snuck out during the night and got on her horse. She rode for a long time and ended up far away. It was the dead of winter and the princess hadn’t thought about how cold it would be. It was dark and…”
I heard the heavy breathing, the sound of a child deep and fast asleep.
I smiled, “she realized that the most important place to be was home. She made it back safely and though she would leave from time to time, she would never forget how wonderful it was to be safe at home.”
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. My dream took me to the house I grew up in in Michigan but it was nicer with a white picket fence. My parents sat at a picnic table laughing at something my sister Cate had just said. I brought out a pitcher of lemonade while my husband Daniel was grilling up some food. Our two girls Jackie and Lasa ran around the backyard playing and laughing.
I woke up crying silently and extremely confused. The happy dreams weren’t any better than the nightmares.
Chapter 20
The weeks passed slowly but surely. I did my best to help out around the house. I played with Lasa and we colored. I cooked with Vanetta and collected the eggs from the chickens in the garage. I was passing the time but I felt more like a zombie than the reanimated corpses that were roaming the island. My mission had failed and without the goal of trying to get to my sister, as
doomed as it was, without it I was empty. I had nothing left.
Though I loved this beautiful family that had taken me in, I didn’t feel like I belonged. I felt like a burden on them though they never acted like I was. I felt odd and out of place most of the time. I tried to help and keep out of the way.
A bright spot was Lasa. I felt a real kinship with her. She reminded me of Jackie so much in the way she laughed and carried herself. Even some of the things she said sounded like they could’ve easily been quotes she stole from Jackie. It hurt like hell to be around this precious little girl that reminded me so much of the precious one I lost but at the same time it was like a blessing to feel close to Jackie in a way.
Lasa slept with me every night after that first night. The dreams I’d been having become less frequent and I was having almost good nights of sleep. Lasa was becoming more of a comforting presence to me than I believe I was to her. Perhaps part of it was being safe away from those awful creatures. The threat didn’t seem to exist in the shelter of this home.
Vanetta was appreciative of the fact I let Lasa stay in the room with me. Cal had been working 12 hour posts since this whole thing started. It made sense, we were at war.
Cal was upbeat and sweet but Lasa kept him awake when she came in the room with them. I could understand why, she liked to snuggle up close and didn’t leave a lot of room to adjust. But that was another thing that reminded me so much of Jackie. Where it kept Cal awake, it helped me rest.
It was nice to be part of something that felt so normal after all the chaos. Though, it was hard for me to appreciate it all. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I became ill the third week I had been there. It was nothing too major but I was nauseous all the time and couldn’t keep much down. Which was sort of a blessing, since food supplies were due to run out any day.
Vanetta made me a tea remedy that helped with the nausea that her mother had passed down to her. It helped but I still didn’t feel like eating much.
I liked Vanetta a lot. I felt we would’ve been friends in real life before the dead began to walk the earth. She was funny and tough. I loved talking with her. She told me about growing up in Mississippi. Her and Cal met in the sweetest way. They met while working at Disney World together doing some kind of work program they had for college kids. I’d never even heard of it but it sounded like something Jackie would’ve loved to do had she been able to grow up.
Plague of the Dead (Book 1) Page 8
