by Roya Carmen
She was glad to have Cole by her side, glad that she wouldn't have to face Logan alone. She thought of Cole and his beautiful eyes and sexy smile and she imagined him with her in this dark little storage room. A playful smile stretched across her lips as she imagined herself wrapped around him. But suddenly, his steely grey-blue eyes took on a more tropical sky shade, and his dark hair turned golden, and his smile stretched wider, his cheeks fuller, and there they were... those adorable dimples. Damn it, she cursed herself.
Damn you, Ethan Fox. Get out of my head.
14
…she’s crazy about you
As the first guests made their way in, Kirsten's heart pounded against her rib cage. But as she got to chatting with various people she knew from previous years, she started to relax a little. She promised herself she would have fun tonight, and forget all about Logan. And Ethan too.
She enjoyed a bit of food as trays of appetizers made their way across the room. The band was in full-swing, a soft folk rendition of Madonna's Crazy for You filling the room.
That's when she saw him. He was as dashing as ever, wearing an expensive suit, an air of superiority, and a brunette on his arm. The woman was pretty but not the one she had expected. What had happened to Lisa, the yoga instructor? She studied Logan for the longest time, seeing him in a whole different light, how she might see him if he were a total stranger. Yes, he was handsome in a preppy buttoned-up way. And he seemed so self-assured in his tailored suit and expensive loafers. But she knew that behind the façade, there was a self-conscious scared little boy, always kissing people's asses. He was speaking to an older gentleman when he spotted her and did a double-take. Suddenly, he seemed to lose all interest in his conversation and quickly begged off.
He flashed her a bright smile as he made his way to her. "You look amazing."
"Thank you," she replied with a tight smile.
"You've done a wonderful job," he offered. "It seems you outdo yourself every year."
She tilted her head to the side. "Thanks."
He winced. "Listen, I know I'm probably not the person you want to see at the moment, but..." he went on, quickly scanning the crowd. "You're the one I want to see. I've been looking forward to seeing you again."
She sucked in a deep breath. Why was he playing her like this? "Where's your tattooed yoga instructor?"
He smiled a tight grin. "She and I are done."
Kirsten couldn't help be pleased by this. Karma had done its work. "She got bored with you, just as I predicted, I'm sure."
He cocked a brow. "You were right. She and I were not meant for each other. Not like you and..." he trailed off, and she was glad he did because the last thing she wanted from him was a big love revelation.
"So who's your date?" she asked as she caught the pretty brunette's eye. She seemed to be tangled up in a conversation with the older gentleman Logan had been speaking to. Kirsten wanted to rescue her.
"Oh... that's Sandy," he told her, "a paralegal from work... she and I are friends," he carried on, trying to explain. "I just needed a date."
Kirsten shook her head. "I'm sorry. I was just being polite. I really don't care." Sure, she was being blunt, but that's all he deserved. Cole made his way to them with two glasses of white. He handed one to Kirsten as she introduced him. "This is Cole Winters," she said matter-of-factly.
Logan stretched out his hand. "Logan Smith." His expression was business-like and reserved. It reminded her of a hockey game she had gone to a few years back, of the expression the losers had on their faces when they skated across the length of the ice. They shook their adversaries' hands with expressions of defeat, pure defeat.
Kirsten took delight in this, in the sight of the two men next to each other, one clearly superior to the other in terms of size and looks... and presence. She tangled her arm in the crook of Cole's. "It was nice to see you again, Logan."
Of course, Cole had no clue who this man was. Kirsten had never mentioned him by name. "Let's go check out the auction," he suggested and she nodded, wanting to make a quick escape.
As Kirsten perused the details of a spa get-away, she debated whether it would be something worthwhile for her and her mother. When she concluded that yes, it could be fun, she wrote an amount at the bottom of the list, hoping she would be the last to bid. But right next to her, stood a tall blonde, clearly interested. Damn, she thought, she would need to come back and up her bid. When she looked up to offer her a friendly smile, she was taken aback.
"Hey, Meghan," she squealed like a junior high girl. "What are you doing here?"
Meghan smiled, her perfect teeth gleaming as always. "I..." she started, turning her head.
And that's when Kirsten saw him. God... he was stunning, just standing there, wearing a dark tailored suit and a shy smile. He inched closer, hesitating, his smile slowly fading.
"Hi, Kirsten," he offered. "I bet you're surprised to see me here."
She was. She was speechless.
He carried on. "You know, I've come to this for four years now," he explained. "The library is one of the organizations I'm involved in. I can't believe I never told you. All this time, we must have brushed past each other, not knowing..." The expression in his eyes was full of whimsy, of awe. She wasn't sure what he was saying. Not knowing... what? But it was true. It was pretty unbelievable that she would never have noticed him before. She really must have been caught up in Logan and her work. She finally found her words. "It is pretty crazy."
They stood for a beat or two, staring at each other. His eyes were just as consuming as ever. And suddenly, she had the urge to grab him and drag him to the back and lock both of them up in the storage room... forever.
"I never made the connection before," he went on. "You, the library... the fundraiser. I think I was a little distracted..." he added with a playful smile.
She smiled, remembering their early days. "Yes... you were distracted with your devious plans of turning me into Seattle's most tempting seductress."
He laughed. "Well, I believe I did an okay job in that department."
She smiled, shy. As much as she wanted it to be over with him, she was overjoyed to be standing there, talking to him. In fact, she wanted to stand there for eternity.
Ethan couldn't believe how beautiful she was, in her elegant long black dress and her hair in an up-do, curls framing her delicate face. She looked like a beautiful classic actress, a perfect black and white vintage photo. He wanted to take her picture, frame it and hang it on his wall. And she hadn't greeted him with any animosity which he was thankful for. He really hadn't known what to expect. He knew she would be surprised to see him there.
He wondered if she came here alone, and wondered if she and Cole were still an item. And then he saw him walking up to her, looking good, all cleaned up. He felt a heaviness at the pit of his stomach. The feeling was foreign. No other woman had ever brought that out in him; physical discomfort. Man, he had it bad, he realized, a little too late. He loved her. He loved her, and there she was, on the arm of another man. And not just any man, a gorgeous tall man, who looked like that vampire from that silly show his sister loved.
Damn, how he had messed everything up, he mused as he sat next to Meghan. If only he had treated Kirsten with the kindness she deserved right from the start. Karma was coming around to kick him in the ass, and he deserved it. It was probably too late for them now, he thought as he drained his sorrows in a glass of red.
"Jeez, Ethan," she said. "You look like that time on Christmas morning, when Dad forgot to play Santa."
He remembered that morning. Much too clearly. It was the first Christmas without his mother. And his father had forgotten about 'Santa'. And that was the year he also realized there was no Santa. "That's exactly how I feel."
She sighed heavily. "Ethan..." she said softly. "Just go to her. Tell her how you feel."
He jerked his head up. He hadn't realized how transparent he was.
"I know you better than anyone else," M
eghan told him. "And I can tell that you've got it pretty bad for her."
He couldn't deny it. He remained speechless, sulking, tracing the tip of his finger along the stem of his wine glass.
"And you know what I can also tell," she went on, "just from the look on her face when she saw you tonight... she's crazy about you too." She tilted her head to the crowd, her gaze fixing the distance where Kirsten sat next to Cole as the server presented them with their appetizers. "I know she has a boyfriend... and it's quite new, I think," she admitted. "But I've had lunch with her, hung out with her. And she talked more about you than she did about her boyfriend. In fact, she barely mentioned him at all. I know when I was first dating Kyle, he was all I could talk about. And funny enough, you're all she could talk about when we had lunch."
Ethan contemplated his sister's words. Perhaps she was right. Maybe it wasn't too late. He had to give it a shot.
15
May I cut in, Sir?
Dinner had been stellar, but Ethan hadn't been able to appreciate it, his mind too full of Kirsten. He couldn't help but watch her in the distance. Even as the nice couple next to him entangled him in conversation, his gaze still couldn't be pulled away from the delicate beauty at the other side of the room. He had caught her looking at him too, but she always jerked her gaze away, like a naughty little school girl up to something bad, and he liked that. In fact, he loved that. It aroused him. He sighed. There he was at a very formal dinner, sitting amongst strangers, in a state of semi-arousal.
He wanted the minutes to speed along, so he could go talk to her, profess his love. But how was he supposed to do that exactly, he wondered. Pull her from her conversations in the middle of dinner? No, he'd have to wait. And he'd have to be brave. Suddenly, he felt like his old self again, self-conscious, afraid of rejection. But he knew he had to do it, or he would never forgive himself for not trying, for letting the woman of his dreams slip from his grip, into another man's arms.
The band was in full swing performing a rendition of Ray Charles' What'd I Say, and everyone was enjoying their strawberry shortcake with a side of chocolate sauce. Kirsten usually loved dessert but her stomach was all caught up in knots. Ethan’s eyes were fixed on her, far in the distance. The effect he had on her was amazing, the way he made her feel with just a look. She didn't have that with Cole. She would never have that with him. She never even had that with Logan. Chemistry is a funny thing, she mused. Why one man and not the other?
All she knew was that she was sitting next to one man, and desperately craving another. It wasn't fair to Cole. He seemed to genuinely like her, and she was leading him on. She hadn't meant to, of course. And finally taking the next step and giving him what he wanted was not the answer. If she was going to have sex with a man, she wanted it to be because her body and heart craved it, longed for that man's touch. There was really no other reason to share one's body with another, as far as she was concerned.
As she watched Cole in conversation with a redhead sitting next to him, she realized what had to be done. She couldn't keep leading him on like this. He was a gorgeous man, and undoubtedly had troves of women waiting for him to be on the market again. Or perhaps he already was. They hadn't exactly been exclusive. Either way, she had to set him free.
She led him to the balcony. The night was warm and beautiful. It would have been romantic in other circumstances. Cole eyed her with a cocked brow.
"That redhead seems to like you," Kirsten ventured with a playful smile. "Funny enough, her date doesn't seem to mind."
He laughed, fine lines etching the corners of his eyes. "That's her brother," he told her. "There's actually a funny story there. Her brother just got dumped earlier today. That's why Jessica had to fill in."
Kirsten smiled. "Jessica..."
He took her hand. "I'm here with you."
"Do you like her? She’s quite pretty."
A touch of irritation skirted across his features. "I told you. I'm here with you."
She smiled, not wanting to explain, but she had to. "It's not that... I'm not jealous," she started. "It's just that you and me... it's not..."
He winced a little. "I was afraid of this, of this conversation. You're right. You and me..."
She bit her lip. "I don't know what's wrong with me. You're gorgeous. You're amazing."
He laughed. "Yeah, this is new to me. Usually I have a woman in bed by now."
She smiled. "I know I'm crazy."
He inched closer and took both her hands in his. "You're not crazy," he told her, his words soft. "You're in love. Unfortunately, it's just not with me."
She was speechless at his words. How did he know?
"It's pretty obvious," he told her. "The way you two look at each other... the way you interact. I even noticed it on our first date."
"I'm sorry," she offered, sheepish. She felt like such a little misleading tease.
"It's okay," he told her. "I thought I was imagining it but then... I saw you two together again tonight."
"I don't know what to do," she confessed. "He's all I can think about but I don't have the courage to..."
"You need to tell him how you feel," he said. "You owe it to yourself... and to him."
"You think?"
"Definitely." He smiled wide. "But first, you owe me a dance. One last dance."
She grinned at him playfully. "You've got it."
Kirsten had disappeared. Both she and Cole were nowhere in sight. How was he supposed to profess his love to her if she wasn't even there? Perhaps they had gone early for the night, to ravish each other in his bed. He couldn't help but imagine the scene, her ripping off his suit in a frenzy, their limbs tangled in the sheets of his unmade bed, in the middle of his messy artist loft.
Ethan's chest tightened at the thought. He really had to stop doing this to himself. He was digging himself into an early grave. But he couldn't keep the disturbing thoughts at bay. Next came visions of the two of them making out in the coat check room. He rubbed his face frantically, trying to erase the unwelcome images.
Then he saw them, heading toward the dance floor, hand in hand, all smiles. Damn, they seemed so happy. He was pretty sure he didn't stand a chance. He started to have second thoughts. Perhaps he was being selfish, trying to break up a clearly happy couple. Perhaps he should just walk back home with his tail between his legs. But he couldn't do that. He just couldn't. He had to tell her how he felt. She needed all the facts before she decided who she wanted to be with.
As he watched them dance, the jealousy gathered into a thick ball of pressure at the pit of his stomach. He couldn't stand watching them. She looked so beautiful in the tall man's arms. But Cole seemed too tall for her. Ethan approximated his height at about six foot two, roughly about two inches taller than himself. Yes... too tall, he concluded. She'd be better off with him.
But how was he supposed to tear her away from this Greek god? He'd have to use all the arsenal at his disposal, which consisted mostly of the physical connection they had. Because if there was one thing he was sure of was their chemistry. Every time they looked at each other, touched... the world seemed to light up. He'd have to play with that, use that to seduce her. Because he knew he could do that. He’d done it before, more than once. She'd melted under his stare, under his touch. The memories of that made his breath hitch.
He had to go to her.
As he walked up to the couple on the dance floor, his heart raced a hundred miles a minute. All his senses were heightened. The band was too loud, and the lights were too bright.
His feet dragged as he closed in on them. And finally, he stopped right next to Cole and caught her eye, and he didn't miss her expression of surprise. "May I cut in, Sir?"
Cole smiled warmly at him. "Sure," he said as he retreated. Ethan was surprised by the man's reaction, and relieved as well. He had half-expected a rebuttal and he hadn't wanted a confrontation. He wasn't sure who would come out on top if it came to blows.
He pressed his hand gently o
n Kirsten's small waist. She didn't say a word and looked at him with was seemed like desire, but he wasn't quite sure. He’d have to test her. She was so beautiful. She made everything around her amazing. Suddenly, the twinkling lights were perfect, the song just right. He wanted to dance with her all night.
As he took her hand in his, he played his plan over in his mind. How would he proceed? He would seduce her slowly to start and study her reaction. And if he sensed the slightest reservation, he would back off. But if she melted into him again...
Then all bets would be off.
Kirsten couldn't believe the turn of events. It felt so right, so perfect being in Ethan's arms. He was being quite the gentleman, and she wanted him to be anything but. Her heart pounded as they danced and she wondered if he could tell. But he wasn't close enough. She was sure he couldn't. She wondered if his heart was beating as fast as hers.
With every twirl of the room, he inched closer. And his breath on her shoulder became hotter, spreading warmth through her. His hand lingered on the side of her waist and then... just as she had hoped, it traveled leisurely to her rear. With barely a touch, he was arousing her already. She wanted more. She trailed her hand from his shoulder to the nape of his neck, wanting to touch his skin, wanting him closer. Suddenly, there were just the two of them in the room.
"You're beautiful tonight," he whispered against the shell of her ear. "I've been watching you all night."
"I've noticed," she said, her breath jagged. How could she have become so turned on from just a dance? "I've been watching you too."
"Uh-huh," he said, his voice soft and delicious. "You wicked girl."
He was driving her crazy. "You've taught me well."
"Yes, it appears I'm an excellent teacher."
Damn, she wanted him. Right then. She craved the taste of his tongue, the feel of his soft stomach, the sensation of him hard for her. "Let's... go..." she faltered, her words all over the place, "...out of here."
