"You need more help," Joss said. "Whether it's with the children or with work. Whatever. Can we do something?"
"You don't have time either," Polly retorted. "You have six kids, a husband who works all the time, and with Andy in Kentucky, not a lot of extra help at the library. What are you even doing here this morning?"
Joss grinned. "Paying Traci extra to come early on a Friday. And next week, I have a bunch of high school kids volunteering at the library as part of their community service. So there."
"You barely have time," she said, spinning on Sylvie.
"Like I said, don't point at me. My boys are doing just fine on their own right now and I have four people that take shifts in the bakery. I've even had time to go to Sycamore House to help Rachel when she was in a crunch. I can find time for you."
"You just miss hanging out with me," Polly said to Sal. "I miss you, too."
Sal laughed. "Are you telling me I'd be useless if I offered to help you?"
"I'd never say that."
"The thing is, Joss and I have a big list of babysitters that you should tap into."
Polly opened her mouth to continue protesting, shut it, opened it again, and finally just sighed. "I know that you think I'm probably trying to act the martyr, but I won’t take this away from Cat and Hayden. They just finished mid-terms, so for the last couple of weeks, things have been stressful as they prepared for those. She'd feel awful if I had to hire someone else, especially since taking care of my kids and my house is supposed to be her job right now."
"Then you need to be a better manager," Sal said. "If you need her to step up more often, say something."
"They're doing what they can. Their class schedules aren't as easy this semester." Polly frowned. "Seriously. This is only temporary."
Cassidy came up behind Sylvie, looked at the women, then sidled close to Polly.
"What's up, little one?" Polly asked.
Cassidy pointed to the front counter.
"It's been long enough, eh? You're ready for some juice?" She stood up. "You go back and play with Molly. I'll be right there."
Tab grabbed Polly. "See, this is exactly it. There are four of us here and you didn't think to ask anyone to help you. Sit still. I can get juice. Do you want me to pick out a treat for them?"
"Camille keeps fruit back there. If she has a couple of bananas, those will do."
"On it," Tab said. "Does anyone else need anything?"
After she walked away, Polly leaned forward. "You guys are awful. I feel totally savaged by you. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing cup of coffee with Tab and I have to listen to you take me out because I'm too busy."
Joss's eyes grew big. "Are you really mad at us?"
"Are you really yelling at me?" Polly asked.
"Kinda. Not really," Sylvie said. "But we are worried about you. You've never been this isolated before. You're always available."
"Not just available, you usually show up all over town," Sal said. "You don't do anything these days except the things you have to do. It would be nice if the rest of us got to see you once in a while."
Polly took another drink of her coffee and reached out for Joss's hand. "I'm not mad. Not even a little bit. The thing is, you caught me at the end of the cycle. Cat and Hayden are home today. Their mid-terms are over and they have spring break next week and so does Rebecca. Jeff hired an HR / Finance person the other day, so that's going to take pressure off me. We have that meeting with the investors next week and we're going to put a board of directors together. It's all coming together. I was serious when I said this was temporary."
Tab sat down and put two plates and two sippy cups in front of Polly. "At least Camille knew what I needed. I'm sorry I hijacked our coffee this morning."
"It's okay," Polly said. "I know you guys love me and yeah, I’m moving pretty fast through life right now, but this is only one short period of time. My stress level sent me to bed last night at nine. I woke up this morning in much better shape, though. Henry finally asked for help and that will relieve pressure, too. He's so buried, I feel like I've been scurrying around doing everything so he doesn't notice that he isn't there to help. After losing the one big hope he'd been holding on to." She smiled at Sal. "The guy who was killed."
Sal nodded in understanding.
"Anyway, he pretty much melted down and he's been working every night this week, not getting home until late. Then he works at home until he falls asleep and is up and out of the house early in the morning. This has to be better."
Both Cassidy and Molly showed up at the table.
Polly smiled. "I have what you want. Let's get you set up at your own table."
"I've got it," Sylvie said. "Sit still. Come on, sweeties. Just like the big girls."
CHAPTER TEN
Even if her friends thought she wasn't available to them because she had so much going on, that didn’t mean she wasn't managing her time well. Polly didn't know what to think as she drove home from her intervention. The last thing she wanted was for them to worry about her. She did love her life. She adored her kids and she enjoyed working and being part of her businesses. Maybe it was time to talk with Cat and Hayden about what they could realistically do the rest of this semester. The idea of hiring anyone else as part of her household, whether as housecleaning help or babysitting help, was hard to face. She trusted Cat and Hayden.
She hadn't heard from Marie or Jessie, but it had only been a couple of hours. Molly and Cassidy would have lunch and playtime, then lie down for a nap. If she hadn't heard anything by that point, she'd call Marie.
The girls waited for her by the back door as she gathered up their go-bags and when she opened it, they both giggled at the attention from the dogs.
"Do you want to play with your dollhouse?" Polly asked, aiming the girls to the foyer. Cassidy's dollhouse was tucked into a corner of the foyer and could be pulled out in no time. It would only take a few minutes to set up the barriers that Heath and Henry had built for the stairways.
"Bouncy balls," Molly said.
Polly closed her eyes. Molly always wanted to play with the bouncy ball house. They'd purchased it for the littlest ones to play with but chasing down the hundreds of plastic balls after a long session was exhausting. She nodded, though. The girls loved splashing in them and it would tire them out enough that they'd nap without much fuss.
Cat came in from the foyer. "Hello there," she said to the girls. "Two of you today. That sounds like fun."
"They want to play with the bouncy ball house," Polly said. "I'll make lunch and then we'll do an n-a-p." Spelling words out had become a thing in her life. Something she'd never intended to use, especially since the boys had all been old enough to spell by the time they were part of her family.
"Hayden and I have been doing some cleanup," Cat said. "We can dig the balls out. Why don't you girls go on in." She held the door open and Cassidy and Molly rushed past her, screaming aloud to hear their voices echo in the large, cavernous room.
"Two of them?" Cat asked.
"Jessie fell and bumped her head at the shop. Marie and Bill took her to the ER to make sure she doesn't have a concussion. I'm watching Molly until they come back."
"We can take care of the girls," Cat said. "We've been so busy lately that the kids fell off our radar. It's time to fix that."
"Thanks," Polly said. "I want to talk to you two about our schedules."
Cat started to speak, but Polly put her hand up. "I'm not upset. Don't think that, not for a minute. We need to be practical about the time you two have this semester. Henry tells me I should hire additional help to clean." She glanced at the stacks piled in different parts of the kitchen. One of the biggest things about cleaning was shuffling items from one place to another. It seemed like that was all she ever did.
Cat shook her head. "I hate that. The boys should do more to help. There's no reason they can't. What if we sat down and designed a list of things they can do. Maybe make a job chart." She point
ed across the room. "That stuff belongs to Rebecca. Why is it even down here?"
Polly shook her head.
"I checked the living room and it's trashed again."
"It's not that bad," Polly said with a laugh.
"The library has books lying all over the place. The kids' music is scattered around on the counter tops. No one ever puts blankets and pillows back where they belong in the family room. You have to do all of that if I'm not around. And I haven't been around as much lately. I'm so sorry."
Polly was getting a little tired of being told that she wasn't holding up her end of the deal. The thing was, she couldn't. She could either be annoyed at being called out for it, or just own it. "I was never much for cleaning. I guess that if it doesn't bother me, I don't even see that it's a problem."
"Hayden tells me I need to get tough with the boys if I'm going to ever control a classroom. And I think all of us have snowed you with our insistence that we're too busy to help."
"Are you calling me a pushover?"
Cat grinned. "You are too good to us. You pick up the slack when we get busy. Then we get busier because you give us more time and you keep making it okay. This morning, I should have told you that I'd keep an eye on Cassidy since you were going to meet your friend for coffee. I know full well that you take her everywhere unless you can talk Marie into watching her."
"It's your first day off since school started," Polly said. "My friends don't mind having Cassidy along."
"That isn't the point. You haven't had a day off since school started either. Did you think to look at it that way?"
Polly sat down on one of the stools at the island. "This has been a day. Everyone is telling me that I'm not able to handle my life."
"I didn't mean it to come across that way," Cat said. "We rely on you for everything and sometimes we all abuse that too much."
"I don't mind it, though."
"You fell asleep at nine o'clock last night," Cat said. "Once Hayden and I were here to take care of the boys, you just stopped in your tracks."
"I have a few other things going on, too," Polly said. "But yeah. I suppose."
"We'll take care of the girls this afternoon and when you tell me that Molly can go back to Marie's, I will borrow the Suburban and take her. I'll handle their lunch and put them down for a nap. When the boys get home, either Hayden or I will get them over to the nursing home. Is Rebecca still planning to prepare dinner?"
"It's just her and Cilla, but I think so."
"Well, someone other than you will take care of it. I know this doesn't make up for what we haven't done the last two months, but it's a beginning of us being better. At least me and Hayden."
"Okay. I'm going to be in the office for a while, then. Thanks."
"Thank you," Cat said and turned toward the foyer, smiling at the yells and screams coming from there. "Into the breach I go."
Polly stayed on the stool, thinking. Was her life really that far out of control? Yes, some of what Cat was talking about was because she felt as if she'd failed in her duty to the family. Polly understood that. But as worn out as she was, she didn't think it was that bad. She enjoyed everything that she did. She hadn't missed any of Rebecca's events at school, she'd been in every single one of the boys' classrooms and made it to their special programs. So what if she didn't have time to lollygag around the coffee shop, waiting for one of her friends to show up. She had five little kids in her life, a high schooler, three adult children and a husband. Her mind continued to tick off two dogs, six cats and half the neighborhood on any given day.
She walked over to the foyer and opened the door.
Hayden was gathering plastic balls that had been tossed everywhere, while the girls ran in and out of the little playhouse and pool he'd placed in the middle of the room.
"I'm heading out for a while," she called.
Cat smiled and waved at her.
Polly grabbed her phone, left her keys, and headed out the back door. She walked down the steps, past her Suburban, strode across the street and up to Andrea's front door. When she rang the doorbell, she shook her head in surprise. It was probably a good thing she hadn't given this much thought or she wouldn't be standing here.
Andrea came to the door and peered at Polly, confused. She opened the door and gestured for her to come in. "Well, hello there. What are you doing out and about?"
"Are you busy?" Polly knew Andrea didn't have classes on Friday afternoons, so at least she wasn’t interrupting everything.
"Not really. Just grading online work. Wanna help?"
"I can."
"Do you need coffee?"
Polly chuckled. "Probably. Where's Kirk?"
"He's out at his dad's. I have no idea what they're doing. Probably building some kind of water feature for Deb. He won't be home until later. What's going on?"
"I'm frustrated and I need a friend who doesn't think I'm the biggest failure this side of Seward's Folly."
"Since I'm one of few people who knows what that is, I'm perfect. And who is calling you a failure? I'll beat 'em up for you, if you like."
Polly followed Andrea into the dining room where the table was covered in notebooks, two laptops, plates left over from breakfast, dirty mugs, and an empty dog dish. "I love you so much," she said, laughing.
"Because of my mess? Who has time to worry about this stuff?" Andrea picked up the plates and glasses and walked out to the kitchen with them.
"Don't clean on my account," Polly said. "Please."
"I usually try to have it cleared off by the time the kids come home …" Andrea grinned at her, "… from your house. I do appreciate the extra time that gives me. This has been a crazy semester. So, why are people implying you're a failure?"
"Because I can't do everything."
"Oh, because you're you."
"Wanna split a housekeeper with me?"
"Only if her name is Cilla Waters. She gets a car when she turns sixteen only if she helps with the younglings and puts in a certain amount of hours cleaning. So far, she doesn't have a chance in hell."
"They're pretty busy at school."
Andrea looked over the reading glasses that had fallen down on her nose. "I know my daughter. All of that extra time she spends in Boone is not because she's required to be there. Wrestling season is over. Basketball season is over. Track and field? Tell me how that impacts her. Nope. And yes, the girls are busy being happy little thespians, but it's about time they learn balance."
"You know she's coming over to spend the night with Rebecca tonight."
"Is that still on? I didn't think it was since Kayla couldn't be there."
Polly frowned. "That wasn't the information I was given."
Andrea shrugged. "Who knows. I'm certainly not privy to her schedule."
"This is only going to get worse, isn't it."
"With those two? Yeah. The last two years of high school are going to be our Waterloo." Andrea paused, her hand in mid-motion. "Unless …"
"Unless what?"
"You be the Duke of Wellington."
Polly frowned. "The who?"
"History, baby. I know it. Napoleon was defeated at Waterloo by the Duke of Wellington and Field Marshal Blucher. I don't have a problem being a Prussian." She snapped to attention and continued to speak with a German accent. "Ve vill bring zese girlz into line. Ve are een charge. Zey vill crumble under ze strength of our armiez."
Polly chuckled. "I feel better already."
"Who told you that you aren't in control?"
"Twice today," Polly said. "And I get it. The house is a mess, but everyone has been busy. Life is more important to me than cleaning up. Cat was trying to apologize because she hasn't been around to help me, but it felt like I was the one who'd screwed up because I wasn't able to keep it all together while the family was unavailable. Some of my other friends caught me this morning and wanted me to know that I was doing too much and not asking for help."
"You aren't very good at asking for help, tha
t's for sure."
"But so what?" Polly asked. "So what if my house is messy? So what if I don't have time to sit around and eat bonbons with my friends? So what?"
Andrea blinked. "Right. So what?" She patted Polly's shoulder. "I'm right there with you, friend. So-freakin'-what? Do you feel like you're missing out on something because things are so busy? Have you lost your joy?" She winked as she opened a cupboard. Digging around, she moved boxes and canisters and then said, "Ah ha, there you are."
"I didn't think I'd lost my joy."
Andrea handed her an unopened package of Oreos. "What does the sight of that do for you?"
"Really?"
"Yes, really. I hid them from everyone. Who's going to look behind all of the spices that we never use? How did it make you feel when you saw that?"
"A little naughty. I don't usually get a package of Oreos to myself."
"You want the whole package?" Andrea asked. She pointed to another cupboard. "I can make that happen."
"You know I can only eat two cookies," Polly said.
Andrea howled with laughter. "You too? I remember that as clear as day. Whenever Mama would offer me cookies, I could take two. Not three, but two. Only two."
"I remember standing in my apartment by myself one night staring at a box of cookies on the counter. I'd had the worst day. I opened the package, took out two cookies, put them neatly on a napkin, and carried them into the living room," Polly said. "When I put the napkin down on the coffee table, I couldn't believe what I'd done. I got right back up, went out and brought the whole package back with me."
"Did you eat it all?"
"No, I was pretty much sick after five or six. But I ate as many as I wanted that night. I still have trouble taking any more than two at a time, though."
"I'll bet you limit your kids."
Polly pursed her lips. "Of course I do. I wouldn't want them to miss out on that discovery as an adult."
Joy in the Journey Page 10
