by McKayla Box
“I wish his dumb son would see that writing,” I say.
“Is he staying out of trouble?” he asks. “I know you said he's been bouncing back and forth between the house and an apartment with his friends?”
I think for a moment, then nod. “Yeah, as far as I can tell. They aren't throwing giant parties or anything. It's been pretty calm.”
My dad nods. “Well, I guess that's good.”
“I guess.”
“He won't listen to you?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No. I mean, he listens. But he isn't taking my advice.”
“I don't think it helps that he isn't at home,” he says.
“Me either.”
We eat quietly for a minute.
“Can I ask a question?” my dad says after pushing his plate away.
I nod, finishing the last bite of chicken on my plate.
“What happens if he goes to jail?” he asks.
I swallow the chicken, wipe my mouth, and push the plate toward his. “Uh. I guess he goes to jail. Or runs away to Mexico.”
“Would he do that?”
“I'm kidding,” I say. “No, I don't think he'd do that.”
“Alright,” he says. “But I'm specifically asking about you.”
“About me?”
He nods. “Yeah. If he goes to jail, what does that mean for you?”
I wad up my napkin and drop it on the table. “I don't understand what you're asking me, Dad.”
He leans back in the chair and folds his arms across his chest. “Will you guys stay together?”
I think for a moment. “I mean, probably. Not like he's going to jail for years, right?”
“Right,” he says. “Just curious.” He pauses. “What about school? Will you still go? Will you stay up there if it happens while you're up there?”
“Yes.”
He raises an eyebrow. “That was a fast answer.”
“Well, yeah,” I tell him. “I mean, I'm going to college. That doesn't depend on him. I'm not one of those girls who just sits and waits on a guy. I'm going. I don't want him to go to jail and I don't want any of that drama, but no matter what, I'm going to school. The only reason I'd leave or come home is if I didn't like it. He's choosing to do all of this, so I can't control if he there's a trial or anything like that. That's his choice.” I shake my head. “Not mine.”
He holds up his hands in mock surrender. “I was just asking. I'm glad to hear all of that.”
It's something I've thought a lot about. I obviously don't want Trevor to go to jail. I don't want him to go to a trial or anything like that. But he won't take my suggestion and I can't make him. I've envisioned all of the possible scenarios, but I can't predict the future. The only thing I can control is what I do. I can make sure I go to the school I want to go to and start college the right way. I can take classes and figure out what I want to do with my life.
So that's what I'm going to do.
I look at my dad. “You don't look like you believe me.”
“Not that I don't believe you,” he says. “Not that at all. I'm just wondering if...” His words trail off.
“What?” I ask. “Just say it.”
He stares at the table for a moment before he looks at me again. “What if he asks you to stay?”
I shake my head. “He wouldn't.”
“But what if he did?”
“He wouldn't,” I say again.
He rolls his eyes. “Humor me for a moment. Let's say he's convicted of...something. And that he has to do some jail time. What if he asks you to stay before he goes in? Would that change anything for you?”
I think hard on that for a moment, trying to envision it.
But I just can't.
“He'd never do that,” I say. “So I don't even know how to answer that.”
My dad finally nods. “Okay.”
“Don't worry, Dad,” I say. “I'm going to UCSB. No matter what happens. I'm going. And hopefully this will all be settled soon and no one will be going to jail. He's staying out of trouble and hopefully his dad can get something figured out.”
My dad stands, gathers the plates, and smiles at me. “Let's hope.”
FOUR
“I kinda wanna get laid tonight,” Gina says.
It's the next afternoon and I'm laying on the beach with her, Maddie, and Bridget. I've left my board at home and just taking in the sun with my friends rather than chasing the waves.
“What a surprise,” Maddie says, flat on her back, sunglasses hiding her eyes as she stares upward. “That makes tonight like every other night.”
“Yeah, but I actually mean it,” Gina says rolling over on her towel. “I'm like super...edgy.”
“Please don't share that with us,” Maddie says. “We don't need to know that.”
“Who else am I gonna share it with?” Gina says. “I'm gonna miss telling you guys when I want sex in a couple of months. I hope my roommate doesn't mind.”
“I hope she's a virgin,” Bridget says, next to Maddie on her own towel. “And is saving herself for marriage.”
We all crack up.
Gina's thoughts are my thoughts. I'm going to miss these lazy afternoons on the beach and the car rides and the parties and the lunches. I know that we won't stop being friends, but I know it will be different and that makes me a little sad.
“I've already talked to my roommate,” Maddie informs us. “She seems cool, but super focused on school. She wanted to know if I'd checked out the study rooms in the library.”
“Maybe she wants to just use them to hook up,” Gina says. “Study rooms are multi-functional.”
“No, she has a long-time boyfriend,” Maddie says. “She told me all about how he's already given her a promise ring.”
“Ugh,” Gina says, making a face.
Maddie shrugs. “It's fine. She's very nice.”
“My roommate is from Boston,” Bridget says. “And she turned down M.I.T.”
“Holy shit,” Maddie says. “You brainiacs should get along fine then.”
“I'm already anxious,” Bridget says, digging her toes into the sand. “Everyone is going to be smarter than me. Everyone.”
“No, they won't,” I tell her. “I'm positive.”
“Yeah,” Gina says. “No one's going to out-nerd you, Bridge.”
Bridget gives her the finger. “I actually already started reading for one of my first year seminars. I wanted to try and get ahead.”
“Like I said,” Gina says. “Out-nerd them all.”
Bridget flicks sand in her direction, but we all laugh.
“I'm in a triple,” I tell them. “One girl from San Francisco, another from Las Vegas.”
“Vegas?” Gina says. “Really? I didn't even know they had high schools there.”
“You're such a moron,” Maddie says, shaking her head. “It's not all casinos and strip clubs.”
“It should be,” Gina says.
“They both seem nice,” I tell them. “One of them has a boyfriend at home, but the other one doesn't. She's a math major. The one with the boyfriend is undecided.” I shrug. “They seem...fine.”
“You don't seem sure,” Bridget says.
I squint into the afternoon sunlight. “It feels like last summer for me. Starting over again. Just weird.”
She puts her hand on mine. “Yeah, but look how that turned out. You found us. It'll be fine.”
“There's no one like us,” Gina says. “But maybe you can find some semi-close replacements.”
“I don't want replacements,” I say.
“You guys are acting like we're never gonna see each other again,” Maddie says. “Come on. Bridget's going the furthest away and that's only a short plane ride. We'll be home for vacations.” She holds up her phone. “And, uh, we have these.”
Nothing she's saying is wrong, but I also know that life just goes on. You make new friends. You change. We won't stop being friends, but I doubt that we'll be the same kind of friends we ar
e right at this moment.
I will miss that.
I start to say something to that effect when I notice three guys coming our way.
My heart skips a beat.
And not in a good way.
“Well, well, well,” Kane Tressle says, stopping in front of us. “What a lucky day for the four of you.”
“Why?” Gina asks. “Did you just find out you have dick cancer?”
His arrogant smile flickers.
“Impossible,” Maddie says. “He doesn't have a dick.”
The smile fades.
Bridget raises her hand. “As the only one who has intimate knowledge on the subject, I can confirm there actually is one. It's just tough to locate.”
The smile completely morphs into an ugly slash across his ugly face.
I hate the sight of him. It brings back every bad memory of the school year. I'll never be able to forget the phony video that was created to make it look as if he and I had sex. And I know Bridget will never be able to forget that he used her to essentially set the whole thing up.
“Such a bunch of angry skanks,” he says.
I don't recognize the two guys behind him, but they are nodding, smiling, like he's just said something brilliant.
So they are clearly as dumb as he is.
“Where's your boyfriend?” he asks, lifting his chin in my direction. “He get locked up yet?”
I don't say anything.
“Heard he's all in on that shit,” Kane says, the smile back on his face. “Gonna ride it all the way to the wire. Just as fucking stupid as he's always been, I guess.”
“Why do you even care?” Gina asks. “Are you finally coming out of the closet? Admit your lust for him?”
“Fuck off,” he says, keeping his eyes on me. “Can't you talk him out of it, sweetheart? Or maybe he'd rather get locked up than spend another day with your sorry ass.”
The two guys behind him snicker.
Bridget starts to stand up, but I put my hand on her arm. “Don't. Not worth it.”
If anyone hates him more than I do, it's Bridget. Her arm is shaking and she is glaring at him.
“What's wrong, Bridge?” he says, laughing. “You wanna a little more of this?” He wrinkles his nose. “Afraid not. Wasn't that great the first time around. You'll just have to wish.”
My hand closes over the sand to my right, just off the towel. He's getting to me even when I'm telling myself not to let him. I can take it when he targets me, but it's far harder when he goes after Bridget.
“Fuck you,” Bridget says. “There isn't enough money in the world to go near you ever again.”
He laughs. “Aw, come on. I think I remember you screaming out something way different when we were together.” He leans down closer to her. “Come on. I'll bet you remember. Say it for me.”
I leap off the towel and whip my hand around, spraying his face with the sand I've grabbed. He squeezes his eyes shut and stumbles backward. I grab his head and shove him as I hard as I can. He tumbles over backward into the legs of his friends.
Bridget is up, standing next to me.
Kane is wiping at his face, spitting sand out of his mouth and trying to clear his eyes. “What the fuck? You bitch!”
“Yeah,” I say. “I am a bitch. Don't forget that. Take your fucking friends and go play somewhere else.”
One of the guys helps him to his feet. Kane can't get his eyes all the way open because he's got so much sand in them.
I hope he's fucking blinded forever.
“This isn't over,” he says, then spits sand from his mouth. “And you can let your boyfriend know the same thing. I'm not done with him, either.”
“We'll do our best to act scared,” I tell him. “Go home and rinse off, asshole.”
His buddies pull him away as he keeps wiping at his eyes. He gives me one more look over his shoulder.
I hold up my middle finger.
He turns around and they head up the beach.
“Now, that's the shit I'm gonna miss,” Gina says.
“What shit?” I say.
She grins. “You being a total badass.”
FIVE
“How many more of these are we gonna have? Gina asks.
It’s later that night and we’re down at The Hump. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen so many people there. It’s raging. The parking lot is packed. There's loud music, hundreds of voices, and lots of alcohol. The sand and the grassy hill are filled with kids from Sunset, both from our graduating class and the classes still there. I see familiar faces and new faces. It feels a lot like it did the first time Bridget brought me here a year earlier.
“Not many,” Maddie says, popping the trunk of her car. “We're in countdown mode.”
“My mom asked me if I'd started packing yet today,” Bridget says. “That sort of freaked me out.”
“My room looks like a thrift store right now,” Gina says. “I've got shit everywhere. I have no idea what I'm taking.”
Maddie hands each of us a red cup, then fills them with ice, vodka, and Sprite. She holds her cup up in the air. “A toast to my best friends.” She eyes each of us. “Who I promise to text each week, no matter where we are.”
We all touch cups and drinks. The vodka and soda tastes good as it snakes down my throat. The ice cubes are cold on my lips.
The roar of a truck engine, followed by ear splitting guitars and drums, blast through the parking lot.
I can't help but smile because I'd know that truck and music anywhere.
I turn and see Trevor screeching to a halt in the parking lot. Brett is in the passenger seat and Jake is standing up in the bed, hanging onto the roof, laughing like a hyena.
“Your dude sure knows how to make an entrance,” Gina says.
“That he does,” I say. “He's kind of insane.”
“But the good kind of insane,” Gina says.
We laugh.
The boys hop out of the truck and head in our direction.
“Ladies,” Jake says, stopping and bowing. “A pleasure to see you this evening.”
“How drunk are you?” Maddie asks.
He holds up his thumb and forefinger. “Just a tiny bit. Never fear, though. I'm not so drunk that I can't tend to your needs. My game is still on point.”
Bridget laughs and shakes her head.
Maddie points at Gina. “Look at her. She's the one who said she's...edgy.”
Jake raises an eyebrow. “That right? Need help taking that edge off, baby?”
Gina starts to say something, then stops herself. Then she shrugs. “Play your cards right and you never know.”
We all hoot and holler over that one.
Trevor sidles up to me, wraps an arm around my waist, and kisses me. “Mmm. You taste good.”
“The vodka tastes good,” I tell him.
“It's the combo,” he says and kisses me again.
My heart hammers and goosebumps pop on my arms. His lips are soft and his body is warm against mine. I grab the back of his head and hold onto him for a moment.
“Oh god,” Gina says. “Just do it on the pavement, why don't you.”
He finally pulls away from me, smiling. “I'm game.”
I smack his chest. “Stop.”
“She wants a show, we can give it to her,” he says, glancing in her direction. “Maybe then Jake would know what to do.”
“I'll get him a pen and a piece of paper,” Brett says. “So he can take notes.”
Jake frowns. “You fuckers are so full of shit. You know I've got game. Just jealous.” He nods at Gina. “Come on, Gina. Let's get it on so you can tell 'em.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I'm gonna need a lot more to drink. A lot. Don't rush me.”
“Get her another drink!” he shouts.
We all laugh and head for the sand.
Trevor squeezes my hand. “I heard you got hassled today.”
“Hassled?”
“At the beach,” he says. “Kane.”
&nbs
p; “Oh,” I say. “Yeah. How did you know that?”
“Spies everywhere,” he says. “Some girl that knows Brett texted him when she saw Kane talking to you guys. She said you chucked sand at him?”
“Yeah.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “My girl is tough.”
“It was nothing,” I say. “He was just doing his bullshit posturing thing. Threatening me and you.”
He stops abruptly. “Hey. If he's threatening you, I wanna know about it.”
“There's nothing to know,” I say, squeezing his hand. “Nothing. It was just him fucking around.”
“I don't care,” he says. “I don't want him messing with you.”
“I can take care of myself,” I say. “And you need to stay out of shit like that. Right?”
He doesn't say anything.
“You do,” I remind him. “You can't be going off on anyone right now with everything that's going on. You know that. You can't afford to get in any kind of trouble right now.”
He frowns. “I can't handle him if I need to.”
“No, you can't,” I say. “You can't get in a fight. You can't get a fucking parking ticket. Which means you need to cool your jets and not let an asshole like Kane Tressle get you riled up and into a situation that is going to make things harder for you.”
He looks toward the beach for a second. The bonfire closest to us is crackling and popping, the flames taller than he is. The water beyond the sand is shimmering beneath the moon.
He looks back at me. “Cool my jets? Are you, like, seventy?”
I smack him in the arm. “You know what I mean. And I'm serious. You can't be getting into any shit like that, Trev.”
He pulls me into him and puts his arm around me. “I hear you.”
“Do you?”
“Yes,” he says. “Don't kick Kane Tressle's ass. I hear you.”
“Don't kick anyone's ass,” I correct him.
“Will do my best,” he says. “Stop worrying about me.”
But it's all I seem to do anymore. Worry about him. I can't tell if he's taking me seriously or if he's just agreeing with me so I'll shut up.
We walk onto the sand and the heat from the bonfire warms my face.
I look at him.
His tan skin is illuminated by the fire and his eyes look like ovals of ice.
