“You’re drunk.”
“Yes, I know, Frederick. I have the spinny brains, but I didn’t take my makeup off, and if I don’t bathe, it’ll stain everything.” She waved her hand toward her bed in a dramatic fashion, a little sign of the Cami I knew coming out. I liked her attitude.
“You could fall.”
“I will not fall in the shower.” She puffed out her chest, wrapping the robe around her as she walked to the door…barefoot.
My entire body shivered with disgust at the thought of not wearing shower shoes. It was the number one rule about communal living. “You need shoes.”
“Yes, sir.” She bowed, then tried opening the door. It got stuck on the lock, and I pushed myself up to not only grab shoes for her but to help her.
“I can do it,” she said.
“Of course you can. But you’re drunk, and I’m here.”
“You are here.” She stared up at me, and a flash of that raw emotion came out again. It didn’t last long. She covered her face with her hands. “My face! Don’t look!”
If she hadn’t exposed her sadness, I’d have thought it was funny seeing her like this. I’d poke fun of her and tease her about the racoon eyes endlessly. But this wasn’t amusing at all. The same thought kept repeating in my head. What if she didn’t have me?
What would’ve happened to her tonight? At the party? Here? Without shower shoes?
“Are you following me into the shower, sexy, silent Freddie?” She did a spin once we got into the bathroom and let her robe drop. “Oops.”
Her toned back and insanely perfect ass cupped in black lace greeted me, and I groaned into my fist. Fuck, she was the biggest temptation. Two dimples teased me right at the base of her back where anyone could just walk in and see her.
“Cami, get in the stall,” I barked out, picking up the robe and trying not to panic. If she started stripping, I’d lose my goddamn mind. “Please, just do what you need to do.”
“I’m not asking you to stand guard, big guy.” She spun around, her nipples straining against the black lace, and she let out a mangled laugh. “Can’t believe I’m not a dancer anymore.”
Focus on helping her, not her tits. I gritted my teeth together. “You are. You still are. You’re not a part of one team—that’s the only change in you. Now, put these damn shoes on and get in the water.” I held out the sandals I grabbed, and she eyed me, chewing on her very full lip.
“You’re a bit bossy.” She stepped into sandals and moved closer to the stall. My breath lodged at the base of my throat, not daring to escape when she unhooked her bra and set it on the side of the door.
Her back was to me, all muscles and smooth skin, and fuck. She slid off her panties and set them on the ledge too. My feet grew roots into the shitty tiled floor. My body gave out as she turned around, her delicious, perky tits on full display.
Her pointed nipples were dusky pink and like two gumdrops. I wanted to devour her, then and there, starting at the base of her neck and moving to the jewel on her stomach and ending between her thighs, where she was completely bare. She turned on the water and gave me a wicked grin. “You were hard earlier, Freddie. Feel free to join me in the shower.”
Then, she shut the stall curtain. I took a shaky breath that rocked my entire core. Seeing her naked had been a fantasy for years. She blew all expectations out of the water, but I knew my attraction shouldn’t take precedence right now. She was hurting and needed a friend, someone to put her first.
I couldn’t put her needs second to my raging hard-on. I just wasn’t that guy.
My cock hardened beneath my jeans, but I made no moves to adjust it. The littlest touch could set me off, and I focused on counting the ceiling tiles. I got to eighteen when I heard it.
A sniff.
It was like a crack in my heart at the muffled sound. When she’d cried on my chest earlier, those tears were a rushed explosion. These cries were somehow sadder. Lonelier. Filled with her attempts at stopping them.
I didn’t even think about what I was doing besides being there for Cami. I pulled the curtain back and stepped into the blazing hot shower. She gasped, her wide eyes blinking a few times before she opened her mouth. “What are you—”
“Come here,” I said, ignoring the protectiveness coursing through my body. I noticed the way her gaze softened and her shoulders relaxed when I held out my arms. The hot water pounded over me, soaking my entire outfit, but I didn’t care. My glasses fogged up as she rested her head on my chest and wrapped her wet, naked body against mine.
Her fingers dug into my shirt as she sniffed again, but this time it wasn’t as sad. I kept my hands respectfully at her lower back because her skin was wet and smooth. It’d be so easy to let them fall lower, but I refused. Even as my cock stiffened and my chest heaved with each breath.
“You’re wet,” she said, a few minutes later, her grip unwavering. “Your clothes.”
“It’s okay,” I croaked out, meaning it.
“What are we doing, Freddie?”
“In life, or right now?”
“Both?”
“I’m not sure to either question.” I cupped the back of her head, careful to not let her body move too much against mine. She kept her face hidden, which was probably for the best because I just wanted to kiss her. “I know I hate that you’re sad. Hearing you cry is my least favorite thing in the world. I also know that you’ll get through this moment. Maybe it’s in a week, or two, or a month, or a year, but you won’t live in this ragey mess forever.”
She tilted her head up to look at me, and one side of her mouth quirked up. “Ragey mess?”
My ears burned red. “I’m not sure—”
“I want to kiss you.” She stood on her tiptoes and moved her attention to my mouth, her eyes heating as she leaned in. “Please, Freddie.”
My insides fought with my logic, and with a strength my entire family tree would be proud of, I placed my thumb over her bottom lip. It was so plump and warm, but I shook my head. The hot water dripped down both of us, steaming between our faces. “Not now.”
She blinked, not looking upset at all. More like confused. “Why?”
“When I kiss you, Cami, your eyes aren’t going to be wet from tears. You’re not going to be drunk or sad or naked in a dorm shower.”
She ran her tongue over the spot on her lip that my thumb grazed, the motion sending a white-hot flash of desire through me. “Then when?”
“I don’t know.”
“But you do want to kiss me?” There was a silent plea in her question, like my answer mattered to her.
“Of fucking course I want to kiss you.”
A lazy smile formed on her lips, and she closed her eyes, backing away from me so the water hit her face again. I focused on the way the water ran down her forehead, over her cute nose, and over her chin. She scrubbed at the black circles and all the makeup she wore, leaving her skin bare. I let my gaze trail over her collarbone and her nipples. Her tits were literal perfection, full and heavy, and I wanted to cherish them for hours. But I only let my eyes move over her. I kept my hands to myself, like I needed to.
Knowing that I got to see her like this, even in this weird in-between of more and just friends scenario, lit me up. She had freckles and a birthmark just above her right breast, and I wanted to trace a line between them with my finger.
“I’m gonna be hungovaaaa tomorrow,” she sang, reminding me very much that she was intoxicated. It put a damper on my thoughts, but I was grateful for the comment.
“Let’s get you dressed and in bed.”
“You’re staying with me, right?” she asked, those damn eyes turning to saucers meant to torture me. “Please?”
How could I say no? How could I ignore the way her face crumpled with worry? “Stay with you… how?”
“I’ll sleep on the floor! You can have my bed, yes. This can work!” She gripped the collar of my shirt and smiled up at me like the first blast of morning sunshine.
; “How about we get dressed and then we talk?”
She nodded and jumped out of the shower so fast I almost stumbled while trying to make sure she didn’t fall. “So, it’s happening! Yay!”
“I didn’t say—” She was already out of the bathroom, the door swinging shut with a light squeak. Damn.
Wearing soaking wet clothes wasn’t the weirdest part of my day, but it wasn’t the best. Each step squished as I made it to my room. I’d barely gotten my shirt and pants off before Cami burst in through my door. “Hey!” I yelled, covering my junk with my hand. “I’m naked.”
“It’s only fair. You saw me, so let me see you.”
“You stripped in front of me. You barging into my room isn’t the same.” My entire body flushed as she dragged her gaze from my face to my legs. Her eyes heated, and that spark between us grew. I shook my head before she could even say anything. Thank god she wore a large T-shirt this time. “Give me two minutes.”
“Would being in here be better? It’s your space, and I can just curl up on the ground.” She got onto the floor and made a little nest for herself with one of my sweatshirts. “See? Perfect. You won’t even know I’m here.”
“I’ll know.” I grabbed my boxers and slid them on when she wasn’t looking. I felt better with one small layer on. I found my athletic shorts, and once those were on, I faced her without blushing like a junior high kid. “Did you lock your door?”
“Yes! See?” She held it up and grinned at me. “And I brought water.”
“Lay in my bed.” I pointed to it, arching my brows and daring her to disobey. “If you’re in here, you get the bed.”
“But you’re too large for the floor.”
“I’ll manage.” I pointed again, and she scrambled into my bed, lying on top of the sheet because it was a stove in here. She rolled to her side and patted the spot next to her.
“No.” I shook my head to bring the point home.
She frowned. “I just want to cuddle, I swear. You have this comforting presence, and you smell like Taylor Swift, and I wanted to just live in it. You know?”
I had no fucking idea, but she kept rubbing her hand on the sheet, and the floor looked horrible. One night wouldn’t kill me. “Just cuddling.”
She bit down on her lip, not quite hiding her smile. She pressed her back against the wall, leaving me a sliver of bed to lie on. These twins were too small for me on a good day and now with another body in there? I didn’t overthink it. She wanted to cuddle with me. I turned off the light.
With the air stifling and the fans blowing, I got onto the bed, and Cami rested her head on the crook of my shoulder. To make myself more comfortable, I put my arm around her, and the motion caused her entire body to press into mine. I had to say something to break the spell, to help me not think about her legs wrapping up against mine. “So, uh, do you snore?”
“I’m not sure.“ Her breath hit my face. That’s how close she was to me.
“You do, don’t you?” I teased.
“I really don’t know, Freddie. I’ve never slept with anyone…like this before.”
Shit. My throat got all tight again with unsaid things, and I pulled her a little more toward me. “Well, then I’ll let you know in the morning.”
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
Cami
My skin danced with flames of heat, sweat forming in every crevice, and I groaned into a very warm, large body. The pounding in my head doubled in pain at my increased heartrate, and last night came back to me in waves of embarrassment.
The team. Audrey.
The bar. The shots.
Freddie.
I’d stripped in front of him, and oh my god. I’d asked him to kiss me! And cuddle with me! I bolted upright from his bed, my face losing all its blood as he lay there, eyes closed and chest moving up and down with each breath.
One of his hands rested on his stomach, and the other sat on my hip. Something hot and heavy flowed through me. The mere sight of him touching me was enough to have my dry mouth watering.
“I can feel you staring,” he said, not opening his eyes. His facial structures were so pretty--no glasses hiding the real length of his lashes and the way they fanned over his cheeks. Despite all the shame and regret boiling in my chest, I smiled.
“I’m not staring that much.”
He opened his eyes, his gaze moving from the light in the window to me. The gray seemed clearer somehow. There were sleep lines all around his face, making me want to snuggle closer to him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice gravelly.
At the mention of my feelings, my head throbbed again. I winced and rubbed my forehead. “Like an idiot.”
“We’ve all had those nights.” He pushed himself up to his elbows, letting out a deep groan. I snuck a glance down his body and almost moaned at the very evident bulge in his boxers. His dick strained against the black fabric, and my fingers itched to feel him. He looked huge. The rumble of his yawn combined with eyeing his cock sent a blast of heat through me. I brought my fingers up to my lips, about to tell them to calm down.
When I kiss you, he’d said. Not if. WHEN. That was big.
Maybe it wasn’t terrible that I’d stripped?
His movement caused his entire side to press into mine, and he stilled, muscles tensing as he reached toward the floor to put his glasses on. Everything smelled like him—like books and sweaters and trees.
He probably wanted me gone. I should get up, shower, and take stock of my life, but I couldn’t move away from him. Even in the blazing heat of the dorm room, it felt better being next to him.
“I’m really sorry, Cami,” he said, pushing himself up and breaking the spell he put over me.
This was the axe. He was going to tell me to get lost and pretend like last night hadn’t happened. That I was too much, a hot mess. My eyes burned, and my stomach heaved, the damn shots I’d downed wanting to come up. I slowly got out of his bed and stood on the almost cold tile floor. I couldn’t look at him. “I-I understand.”
“Wait,” he said, his tone sharper. “What do you understand?”
I glanced at him through my lashes, not quite meeting his eyes, but his face was twisted in confusion. “That this won’t happen again. I know I’m not…” I gulped, swallowing the ball of self-pity and squeezing my fists at my sides.
“Cami, no, no, no,” Freddie said, pushing up from the bed and placing his hands on my shoulders. “That’s not what I meant at all. Hey, look at me.” He tilted my chin up and had the same intense look that he sometimes gave me when we were at the library. Or the night I made him dance.
My stomach swooped.
“I was talking about what happened on the team. I know how much dance means to you. It makes me sick that you had to walk away.” He moved his hand from my chin to my neck in what I assumed was a gesture of comfort. I leaned into it, sighing in utter relief.
Maybe he didn’t think I was a failure of a human.
“Oh. Well, thanks.” God, my entire face blushed, making my headache worse. I winced, and he muttered a curse.
“Sit, let me grab you water and some pills.” He carefully guided me back to his bed and helped me down even though I was perfectly capable of doing it myself. If anything, I deserved to feel the pounding of my head with each movement.
I was a real masochist when the problem was my own fault. Like a hangover. Once I was seated, he went to a small table on the other side of the room and got out a bottled water and a couple of red pills. He handed them to me and waited as I swallowed them.
“Thanks.”
“Of course, yeah.” He shrugged, the tips of his ears burning red. I wanted to know what he was thinking. He ran a hand over his jaw a few times, shifting his weight like he was uncomfortable.
“I should go.” I stood, pausing as the wave of pounding continued. “Um, thanks for—”
“What are you doing today?” he blurted out, his speech way too fast and choppy to be considered
smooth.
“Honestly? Wallowing in self-pity and rethinking every horrible mistake I’ve ever made with a finale of eating garbage food.” I forced a smile, hoping it’d fool him. None of those were lies, but I knew if left alone with my thoughts I’d spiral again. Get upset. Cry. Do the things I avoided with all my soul.
He smiled the full Freddie grin, dimples and crinkles around his eyes, and he clapped his hands. I winced at the sound.
“Shit, sorry. I know the perfect place to help with garbage food.”
“I’m intrigued. Maybe not this second but…” Footsteps thudded outside in our hall. Whispers. Laughter. There had to be like ten people out there. “What time is it?”
“Nine.” He frowned, going toward the door and cracking it open.
“Oh, hi,” Daniella said, her wide eyes moving from Freddie to me as her lips parted into a little oh. “I found her! Cami!”
It was almost slow motion how Daniella pushed through Freddie’s door, running to me and throwing her arms around my neck. She wasn’t the only one either. The entire dance team entered Freddie’s small ass room, each one of them hugging me or muttering something about Audrey. Freddie quickly put on shorts in the corner.
“You’re not quitting. We refuse to accept it. If you do, then we’ll all walk away. We had a team meeting last night, and its final,” Daniella said into my neck. There were so many body parts touching me, but my heart was beating three times as fast.
They came here for me.
The team… Daniella…supporting me. “Uh, wow, I’m not—”
“Come on. We have a lot to discuss, and Vi’s place has air, thank Christ. It’s closest.” Someone patted my head, and like ants, everyone moved out of the room. Daniella still clung to me, and disbelief had my body feeling light. Weightless. It almost tingled.
I wouldn’t let the girls walk away from the team on my behalf. That wouldn’t do, but this? This display of support? I’d never had it in my life from any team, and it made my eyes water.
Freddie met my eyes, his own dancing with amusement and happiness. For me. He smiled, shook his head, and jutted his chin toward the door. “Go on,” he said, his grin almost too large for his face.
From the Top (Central State) Page 13
