“That’s okay.” She stood closer to me, our toes touching as she looked up at me with her real smile that went all the way to her eyes. “Don’t rush the process. Just know that it’s the same for me, too.”
“What’s the same? No one has ever called you boring a day in your life.”
She shook her head, then bit her bottom lip as she glanced at the ground. “I meant… I’m falling for you too. It’s new for me, but I’m happy when we’re together.”
“Yeah, I am too.” I covered her hands with mine and let out a deep sigh, pushing all the negative thoughts away and focusing on her. Self-sabotaging was not in the plans, and with this beautiful, wonderful woman in my arms telling me she liked me? I better chill the hell out and enjoy it.
“Then let’s just be happy and not let our minds get the best of us, okay?” There was a plea in her voice, like she was battling her own demons too, and I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever I could to slay her personal misconceptions. Was it her reputation? The dance team?
Suddenly, I had to know what made her frown so I could form a plan to fix it. But I didn’t ask because she stood on her tippy-toes and pressed her lips against mine in a soft, short kiss that still sent a ripple of lust through my body.
“Promise me you’ll tell me the next time you start to break us up?”
“Oh, are we together?” I laughed, teasing her to lighten the mood. “Would that make me your first real boyfriend then?”
The second the words escaped my lips, I wished I could take them back. Cami paled whiter than the moon, and her grip on my shoulder loosened as she took a step back. Then another. Fuck. I was internally panicking. Why the hell did I say that? I ruined it all. I totally did.
I could almost hear her mind swirling and her heart pounding. Her lips parted, and I mumbled a curse. “Shit, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
She crossed her arms and gulped, so loud it clicked the back of her throat, and I felt like a piece of trash. The worst kind.
I dealt her my emotional baggage and then said one of the triggers that unleashed hers? Awesome. Just fucking awesome. “Please say something.”
“I get it. It’s fine. We’re not really together.” She played with the ends of her hair and spoke with less warmth than normal, distance even. Like she was trying to put actual distance between us which was the last thing I wanted.
Before she could say more, I walked toward her and put my hands on her shoulders. “I want this with you, to be really together. If you’re doubting that right now, please know I’d love to be your boyfriend.”
Boyfriend? Jesus. It was like a bell chimed in my soul, the countdown until Chicago getting louder. I shoved it all away, intent on fixing whatever I broke between us. Even if I only had a few months with her, I wanted that time. I could explain the internship later…as soon as the light went back into her eyes and she smiled that smile at me again.
“It sounds so lame.” She shielded her face from mine. “I’m in my early twenties, and the word boyfriend has me spiraling after I gave you a whole speech on baggage.” She snort-laughed, and I pulled her against me in a hug, hoping the embrace would help right things between us. Her laugh eased a few of my worries, but it wasn’t enough.
The scales were tipped and our vulnerabilities bared to each other. It was horrifying to know that our insecurities were a part of us. But I did want to get through this. She rested her forehead on my shoulder, sighing as I ran my fingers up and down her back.
“It would be a fucking honor to be with you, boyfriend label or not. I want to try this with you. All of it. The messy parts too because I have this deep feeling the good is really gonna outweigh the bad.” Like moving away…
She nodded against me, still not looking up, but her body didn’t seem as tense anymore. “We’re a beautiful fucking mess.”
“Maybe.” I grinned, even though she couldn’t see me. “We’re two of those weirdly shaped puzzle pieces that don’t fit the standard size or angle. You know what I’m talking about? The ones with the sharp triangle type shape?”
“I’ve never done a puzzle in my life, Freddie.”
My face flushed. “Right, well, you get the idea. Maybe we’re those pieces that when paired together, they fit.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
We stood like that for a few more minutes, our breaths matching up before we started walking back toward the dorm. It wasn’t until we both got undressed and into her room that she kissed me softly with half-closed eyes and declared that I was her boyfriend.
Me. The nerd. The dorky Skittle dude was Cami Simpson’s first boyfriend.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
Cami
This had to be either the worst or boldest thing I had ever done. Maybe not worst. There was a list of regrets fueled by alcohol that made the top three, but confronting Audrey? With Daniella by my side?
Watch out, world.
What was next--me solving inequality in the workplace?
My phone buzzed with a text from my dad agreeing to get lunch soon, but I didn’t have the mental strength to deal with him right now. Confronting someone who’d once been my mentor was all I had room for.
“The girls are upset they aren’t here, but from my leadership classes, it’s best not to come across like an ambush. This is going to be hard enough.” Daniella looped her arm through mine, pushing her sunglasses up on her nose and her head up higher.
She put the plan in place. Audrey was meeting her at her office while I snuck in. The rest of the girls would all wait at the juice cafe in the student union, and I would miss my morning class to do this.
The showdown. The confrontation to the coach I had the last three years. The level of betrayal from her was worse than an ulcer. It had me questioning the entirety of our three-year relationship. All the conversations, the laughter, the support… had it been fake? She’d helped fill the absent mom, not-close sister gap I went through, so for her to treat me like this? It hurt, inside out. My stomach churned with nausea—this was a blitz. I rubbed my palms over my simple black shirt. I’d paired it with dark green jeans and even wore a knotted headband, hoping to look non-threatening.
Freddie had held my hand all morning, hyping me up that this was the right move. Fighting for something that mattered so much to me was important. It’d be hard but worth it.
After all, if I could finally have a boyfriend at twenty-two, then I could have a tough conversation with a coach.
As we neared her office, my throat lost all its moisture. It was like I’d spent a week at Burning Man without drinking any water. My head was feverish, and even though Daniella chatted my ear off, I tuned her out. Dealing with anger wasn’t new for me, but raw vulnerability? Asking what I did to deserve this treatment from someone I once respected?
Here it goes.
Daniella opened a set of glass doors, humming as she redid her messy bun. She strutted, head held high, and I admired how she’d grown into this leadership role. She had a ways to go, but she’d be an excellent captain.
“I’m gonna knock and walk in, then you follow after three seconds. Got it?”
I nodded.
Daniella tapped on the faded wooden door that said Coach Audrey. Light footsteps approached on the other side, then Coach swung it open. Dark circles formed under her eyes, and her outfit was nothing like the put-together woman I knew. It was like she’d just gotten out of bed… or maybe like she’d slept in her office?
Daniella walked straight into the office, but Coach’s gaze landed on me. Something wicked crossed her face, her lip curling up on the side as she stared me up and down. “What are you doing here?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but Daniella spoke faster. “To chat about your behavior, Coach. You’re not really demonstrating leadership qualities with your treatment of Cami at the game and as captain, I’ve been chosen to talk to you.”
“Voted?” Coach snorted. “The girls chose you?”
&nbs
p; Daniella’s cheeks pinkened, and she lost the temporary swagger she wore walking in. Seeing her shoulders slump snapped me into action.
“Audrey.” My tone left no room for argument. “The team is threating to walk because of your bullshit. Every single one of them.”
“They wouldn’t dare.” She shook her head, swallowing so hard her throat moved.
“Oh, they would.” Daniella met my gaze, puffing her chest out as the three of us stood in Audrey’s small office. It was clear she’d slept there with the blanket on the chair and food wrappers everywhere. I didn’t have it in me to feel bad.
I shut the door, standing in front of it in case she bolted. The angry look in her eyes shifted to something like panic. Wide-eyed, worried.
“I wouldn’t let them.”
“How noble of you.” Audrey rolled her eyes and fell onto her desk chair. “Such a people pleaser, aren’t you, Cami? Everyone just loves you. Are you proud of what you did? Do the girls know?”
“What are you talking about?” My throat tightened. The evil expression on her face made zero sense to me.
“Your bimbo act never fooled me. Not once these past three years. You’re smart for being so damn pretty.” Audrey leaned in the chair, the wheels squeaking with her weight. She looked maniacal. Lost, even.
“If you’re trying to insult me, it’s not working. Now, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“The day I named Daniella captain to try to get you to step up.” She bit her lip, her eyes flashing red. “You had to sleep with him. Well, congrats. You won.”
“Again, you’re not making any sense. Sleep with who?”
“My boyfriend, Cami. Jesus. Do you enjoy making me say it?” Her eyes bugged out, spit flying from her mouth. “That’s who you are, right? Coach made a bad choice, so I’ll fuck her boyfriend. You won. Happy?”
Ice flooded my veins, my feet growing roots into the shitty hardwood floor. The pure hatred and genuine truth she believed in her words took hold of my heart and squeezed. She actually thought I did that. Slept with her boyfriend.
That I was capable of doing it.
Daniella sucked in a breath, taking a step toward me and placing a hand on my shoulder. “Cami was with me that night.”
“You’re lying for her.” Audrey rolled her eyes before rubbing her palms across her face. “I don’t know what she has over your head, but there’s no point in covering—”
“I’m not covering for her. I got blackout drunk at a party, and Cami brought me home, Coach. She took care of me.” Daniella’s eyes watered, and her voice shook. “She wouldn’t sleep with your boyfriend.”
“Yes, she would.”
“You’re a terrible person.” Daniella’s shoulders tensed as she eyed Audrey up and down. “I’ll be reporting this to the Dean of Athletics. You don’t deserve to coach us.”
“Jeff’s not gonna believe you, sweetie.” She pushed herself up from the chair, placing her palms on the desk with a groan. She narrowed her eyes at me, a small flicker of doubt entering them.
“Good thing I recorded it then.” Daniella held up her phone, shocking the shit out of me. What a sneaky move. “Also, your boyfriend might be a piece of shit, but there’s photos of that party all over social media. Take a look. Cami was there alone.”
Audrey stared at me, a showdown of sorts happening between us, and I could only glare back. The woman I once admired had become a broken mess because of a guy.
“Please.” Her voice cracked. “Did you have sex with him?”
“No. I don’t even know who your boyfriend is.”
“You waved to him at the game though!” She almost shouted, her barely-held façade of decorum shattering. “I saw it!”
“I wave at fans all the time. It’s part of our job.” I stepped toward her, and she flinched. “It’s clear you misjudged me. Many have. But it’s a shame you let your beef with me affect the team.”
That broke her. She sobbed, her entire body shaking as she hung her head. Parts of me felt bad for Audrey—isolating herself from the team and dealing with a prick of a boyfriend. But Daniella didn’t show an ounce of sympathy on her face. She looped her arm with mine and guided us out the office.
“I’ll set up a time with the dean to get this taken care of. This was such a poor example of being a leader. God, did you know she sent me YouTube videos on how to step it up? To be better for the team?”
“No.” My mind still reeled from what happened, and my stomach somersaulted at the future. Would Audrey get fired? Should she? Yes.
“Bullshit. I’m so fucking mad. You want to go let the girls know what went down? I might march into the Athletic office right now. Yes, I’m gonna do that.” She let go of me and turned right, not looking back and leaving me alone. A horrible combination of confusion and sadness made my chest ache. Audrey was hurting, but that didn’t make anything that just happened right.
With heavy footsteps, I walked toward the student union where the entire team waited for me. It was the second time ever that they felt like home, a real family. I blamed my watery eyes on what Audrey said, but in reality, it was from the fact that in the process of my world falling apart, I’d found my team.
Freddie met me at Timmy’s place. He arrived before me, his massive body hunched over on the bench we sat at those nights ago. Before we were together. My face flushed as I stared at him, my pulse racing.
Boyfriend.
Freddie was my boyfriend, and while the term was juvenile, I didn’t seem to care. My pace increased with a need to touch him, and he glanced up, worry lines spreading along his face.
He jumped up and met me halfway. “How’d it go?”
His cupped my face, assessing my eyes with a furrowed brow. My skin tingled from his touch, and I placed my hands over his. “Weird. Good, but weird.”
“You seem okay.” He pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, and my knees almost buckled. The gesture was so damn sweet, so Freddie, and I threw myself against him.
“Uh.” He stumbled back from my force but soon wrapped his large arms around me and squeezed tight. “This is a good hug, right?”
“Uh huh.” My voice came out muffled. He promised me ice cream after the meeting like a good boyfriend, and all I wanted to do was hold onto him. He’d never be like Audrey’s guy, shady enough to make her lose her mind.
He cupped the back of my head, running his fingers over my scalp and lightly massaging me. All the years of being alone and struggling were worth it to find this bliss—Freddie and the team. I clutched the back of his white and grey striped shirt and tilted my head all the way to look up at him. “Hey.” I pinched his side.
He glanced down with his lips slightly parted. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. He let out a satisfied groan and kissed me right back. He placed his hand on my neck, the sheer size of it covering part of my collarbone. Then he squeezed.
“I like you.” I kissed the corner of his lips, then his cheek.
The tips of his ears reddened, and he cleared his throat. “Well, I like you too. But you knew that.”
I winked, patting his chest a few times and smoothing down the wrinkles my face had created. “You promised me ice cream, big guy.”
“That I did.” He grinned, flashing his straight white teeth. “My treat.”
We entered Timmy’s place with his hand on my lower back. I appreciated that he touched me all the time, like he couldn’t stop himself. It made me giddy, like I was on the verge of giggles constantly. It was almost maddening.
Timmy’s cousin Presley scooped for us, giving me vanilla and Freddie mint chocolate chip. We thanked them, and I chose a secluded booth in the back. Our knees knocked together under the small table, and I fought a grin. I loved how awkward and large he was, all those strong limbs without knowing how to use them.
“You’re staring at me with this twinkle in your eye. Should I be nervous?” He ran a hand over his chest.
“Not one bit.” I took a bite of vanilla and sighed. “
I never knew it could be like this.”
“What could?” He tilted his head to the side, a little ice cream dripping from the side of his mouth.
He was so fucking cute.
“Being with someone.” I reached over with my thumb and swiped it from his chin. Our gazes met, and his flared with heat when I brought my finger to my mouth to lick it off. “Being with you.”
He blushed. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Is it always like this?” I meant the question with sincerity, truly wondering if this was how everyone felt. If so, why wasn’t everyone with a person like Freddie? But he frowned and blinked a few times.
“Um, well.” He chewed on his lip, studying me through his glasses. “There are parts of being in a relationship that I imagine are similar. The comfort, the trust, the looking forward to seeing your person. But.” He set his cup of ice cream down and balanced the spoon on the side before leaning closer. “There’s a spark with us I haven’t experienced before. It’s part chemistry, part trust, part… I’m not sure yet, actually.”
His words lit me up inside out, and I beamed at him. “I know exactly what you mean. The spark. I feel it.”
His answering smile turned me into complete goo. He leaned back into his chair and picked up the cup again. “I’ve been patient, and I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready to talk about it yet. But I’m dying to ask how it went with your coach.”
Oh shit. I was so into him, engrossed with his movements, that I’d forgotten about the shitshow that went down. I caught him up on everything, sparing no detail, and shrugged. “Daniella will text me once she talks to the dean. Then, I don’t know what happens.”
Freddie ran his finger over his eyebrow quite a few times as I spoke and stilled it. His jaw flexed. “I’m so fucking sorry your coach said that to you.”
His blatant anger on my behalf just made me lo—like him more. I took another bite of the ice cream and lifted my shoulders in acknowledgement.
“Don’t downplay it, Cami. No adult in a leadership position should act that way. I’m so disappointed.” He sucked his teeth, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “I hope she loses her job and apologizes to you.”
From the Top (Central State) Page 18
