Just yesterday, Mandy buried her husband. She had spent the night all alone, howling at the moon, keeping watch in her werewolf form. She and Brent never had any pups. They talked about starting to try eventually, but the timing never seemed right. Now, they would never have that chance.
“Come back inside,” Claire Drake urged.
Mandy didn’t glance over her shoulder at her friend. She wasn’t in the mood for company, and she’d told them this.
“Should we start a howl?” Olivia Moreno suggested.
“A howl?” A slap sounded, and Mandy assumed Alexis Luna slapped Olivia. “Seriously?”
“No howling,” Mandy said. “Guys. I appreciate you being here, I do but I just—”
“We aren’t trying to make you happy,” Olivia said. “Girl, we know that won’t happen.”
“But we are here for you.” Alexis came up and hugged Mandy.
“It might help to stay at my place,” Claire piped up timidly. “Get away from…”
From all of the happy memories. But Claire was happily married. Claire had a daughter and another one on the way.
Mandy closed her eyes and tilted her face toward the nighttime sky. Her friends meant well, but truly, she just wanted to be alone. Yes, she was depressed. Yes, she was miserable. Yes, she was hurting.
But at least Brent isn’t hurting anymore.
The cancer had struck quickly. Pancreatic. Brent fought for an entire year. A fair number of humans are dead within months of diagnosis.
A sob choked out of Mandy, and she covered her mouth. Bile rose in the back of her throat, thick and disgusting. The taste of her loneliness left her panicked and afraid.
Arms wrapped Mandy from all three of her friends. Her legs buckled out from under her, and she sank into their embrace. She had lost her first wolf, but she wasn’t alone, not completely. So long as she had her friends, her family, and her pack, she would find a way to survive. She was lonely but not alone.
Mandy shifted to her wolf, threw back her head, and howled. The striking sound spoke of grief and despair, the loneliest howl ever heard. Her friends joined in, providing more voice, and yet, the loneliness remained to some extent, and Mandy knew it would for quite some time.
2
Mandy stared at the cake in horror and burst out laughing. “The cake is gonna collapse?”
Alexis waved away her concern. “Thirty-three candles won’t make the cake fall.”
“Thirty-three? I’m only thirty-two!”
Claire lightly punched Mandy’s shoulder. “One for good luck, of course!”
“Of course.” Mandy rolled her eyes as her friends began to sing. She’d celebrated her birthday the previous weekend with her family.
Family. Brent. Mandy’s stomach twisted. For two years now, she had been a widow, and she still missed Brent every single day. He had been her world. How could she truly move on? Sure, she smiled and laughed sometimes, but a hole remained in her heart. Nothing would ever fill it. Not completely.
Olivia cut the cake and served it. Out of the four of them, Olivia was the only one who could do any kinda of serious baking. She even could do the petals for flowers with the icing. Mandy had tried once. All that came out was glops of icing that resembled flowers as much as a hole resembles a mountain.
The cake was so fresh that it fell apart. Didn’t matter. Mandy ate every last crumb.
“Present time!” Alexis announced.
“I swear you would think it’s your birthday,” Mandy muttered.
Alexis shrugged.
“You guys didn’t have to get me anything,” Mandy protested.
“Don’t worry.” Olivia flicked her hand. “You’ll enjoy this.”
“Enjoy what?” Mandy asked, confused.
Claire opened her purse and removed an envelope. She held it out, but before Mandy could accept it, Claire held it up high out of reach.
“Now, this gift is from all of us,” Claire said.
“You need to keep an open mind,” Alexis added. She brushed her hair back nervously.
Mandy frowned, but Olivia jumped in next.
“Girl, you need this. Trust me. Trust all of us.” Olivia pointed to herself and then to the other girls.
Alexis and Claire nodded emphatically.
Mandy’s stomach dropped. For some reason, she felt really nervous about this.
“Girls, you’re frightening me. What’s going on?”
Claire held out the envelope.
“Open mind,” Alexis repeated.
Even more worried now, Mandy opened the envelope despite her trembling hands. The letters and words swam over the page, and she had to read and reread the letter several times before it sank in.
“A paranormal dating agency,” Mandy said slowly, skeptically. “Are you guys serious? I’m not—”
“You are ready,” Olivia said. “You need to get back out there.”
“You guys don’t understand—” Mandy tried.
“You loved Brent. We know that,” Alexis said.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else,” Claire said. “You love us, right?”
“Of course I do, but that’s not the same, and you know it.” Mandy tossed the paper onto the table. “I appreciate the gesture, but I’m really not up for this right now.”
“Just give it a try,” Olivia urged.
“You’ll be up for it in three nights, right?” Alexis begged.
Mandy groaned. “You set up a date for me already?”
“Three,” Claire said, smiling sheepishly.
Mandy covered her face with her hands.
“Try one,” Alexis offered, wrapping her arm around Mandy’s shoulders.
“Two,” Olivia cut in, glowering at Alexis.
Mandy sighed but nodded, faking a smile. No matter what they said, she wasn’t ready yet. Brent hadn’t just been her love. He had been her soulmate, and everyone knew you only ever had one soulmate.
3
Three nights later, Mandy was wearing far too much makeup, a tight black tank top, and a skirt that hit mid-thigh at Olivia’s insistence. Mandy sure as heck didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin, but she only had to get through this date, and that was it.
“Hopefully, you’ll hit it off with him,” Olivia said as she went to apply another bit of lipstick.
Mandy turned her head to the side to avoid it. Her lips were as red as they could possibly be already. “Doubt it.”
“Girl, you can’t go into a date with such a piss poor attitude.”
“I don’t even want to go out.”
Olivia threw up her hands. “We’re trying to help.”
“I know. I get that. It’s just…” Mandy sighed.
Muttering, Olivia left the room.
Claire was stuck at work, so only Alexis was left in Mandy’s room. She crossed over to Mandy and handed her a tissue.
Mandy dabbed her eyes and then wiped off the lipstick.
“Wear what you want. Be yourself. Just see if the guy could be a friend. It doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic,” Alexis urged.
Mandy shrugged. “Do you guys really think I have to do this?”
“You keep watching romantic comedies,” Alexis pointed out.
“So?”
“You never did before. You hated them. Now, you’re getting all weepy.”
“They remind me of Brent.”
Alexis eyed her critically. “They remind you of how much you miss him, miss being in love.”
“I… Maybe.”
“Trust me. We would never lead you astray. We don’t doubt your love for Brent. We never will. It’s a matter of moving forward, not moving on.”
“Moving forward,” Mandy murmured and slowly nodded. “I don’t… I never had to have a guy in my life. I’m not like Olivia.”
Alexis burst out laughing. “Yeah, no one dates around like Olivia.”
“I don’t know if I need a boyfriend. I don’t. I know I don’t. But maybe a friend. This
is stupid, Alexis. The guy is going to want more, and it’ll be awkward.”
“Set boundaries. If he can’t respect them, he won’t be your friend let alone anything more than that. A lot of guys are asses. We tried to pick out three guys who we thought might have a sporting chance with you. You don’t have to go out with any of them.”
“Not even tonight?” Mandy blinked in surprise.
“Not unless you want to,” Alexis assured her.
Olivia burst back into the room. “He’s here. You… What happened to your lips?”
Mandy walked over and patted Olivia’s shoulder before glancing back at Alexis. “I’ll go tonight. See what happens. But, gals, if this doesn’t work out, payback’s a bitch. You hear me?”
Olivia laughed and laughed. Alexis’ smile wasn’t the most convincing.
Torn between fear and worry, Mandy walked down the stairs and approached the front door. After a deep breath, she turned the knob. Why couldn’t she have met him at the restaurant? This felt too forced, and she couldn’t help being uneasy. Then again, nerves during a blind date were normal.
You’ll be fine.
She opened the door and tried to smile but more or less merely bared her teeth. The guy was tall and thin with a long nose. His hair looked a little greasy, or maybe he’d overused his hair gel.
“Mandy.” He gave her a tight smile.
Seeing his anxiety eased her own. “You must be Jack.”
The man nodded. “Jack Robertson.”
Mandy rubbed her arm, nervous and unsure what else to say. This felt so awkward.
Jack didn’t say anything else. He just turned and walked toward his car. It was nondescript really, plain and boring. Mandy wasn’t a car girl.
Jack walked around to the driver side door, so Mandy opened her door. It shouldn’t bother her that he hadn’t opened hers. Guys weren’t chivalrous anymore.
Brent always opened the door for me.
A sinking pit formed in her stomach and the taste of sorrow made her mouth grow dry.
Jack was silent during the car ride. He hardly said anything at all inside the restaurant too. He would just stare at her with his beady dark eyes. It wasn’t until she realized he’d said more to the waitress than to her that she decided to try to get him to talk.
“So, Jack… what do you do for a living?”
He blinked a few times and straightened. He had been staring at her so hard that he’d leaned forward in his seat.
“In construction,” he said after a slight hesitation.
“That’s cool. Do you draw up the plans or use the big machines or…”
“Everything.”
His voice was so low, so gravelly that it sounded like he was growling every word. Mandy glanced around, worried a human would pick up on this and start to question things. Which was ridiculous. A human hearing a guy with a strange voice wouldn’t automatically jump to thinking that guy was a werewolf.
He’d taken Mandy to a chain restaurant, one she normally enjoyed. Tonight, though, the food tasted bland and unseasoned, and she only ate half of it.
“Not hungry?” he asked.
“I’m tired,” she said in a rush.
Tired of the date. Tired of trying to force someone to talk. Tired of feeling incomplete. Tired in general.
Despite feeling incomplete, Mandy didn’t just want some random guy in her life. The incompleteness was from missing Brent. That would never change, never fade. This was her life now. She knew that, accepted that. If only her friends understood that. Deep down, she knew they were only looking out for her, but she wasn’t ready for dating. A guy friend? Sure, but that wasn’t Jack. Clearly.
He waved for the check and paid before the waitress could ask if they wanted coffee and dessert. The car ride back to her place was eerily quiet. When he parked, she grabbed the door handle.
“You don’t need to walk me to the door. It’s right here.”
Jack stared at her and leaned over. For a kiss? No way.
She turned away to open the door, and she swore she felt his nose touch her neck and felt him inhale.
What a creep.
Mandy blurted out a thanks, bye, and bolted for the door.
No more. Not another date. That had been horrible!
4
For once, Olivia’s normally jovial expression had fallen. She looked positively depressed and rejected.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “We all thought he would be a good fit. He has a great job, looked cute… The paranormal dating agency is just getting up off the ground. They vet the guys. No creeps.”
“Sure.” Mandy rolled her eyes. She hadn’t been able to sleep at all last night. Now, it was seven in the morning, and she couldn’t stand the thought of being alone. The girls had blown up her phone last night, but Mandy shut it off. She hadn’t been ready to talk about the failure. This morning, though, she did. They both had to leave for work in a few minutes so that Olivia came over at all meant the world to Mandy.
“Please just try one more. One. I asked for three originally, so I’m caving here,” Olivia begged. “This guy is one that if you don’t like, I’ll give a chance myself. So that tells you I think he might be a winner.”
“You go through guys like a pig tears through—”
“Are you calling me a whore?” Olivia asked. “That’s okay. I accept your apology, and I know just the way you can make it up to me.”
“Olivia…”
“Please. When my mom died, Dad never recovered. He drank himself near to death, and I had to give him a kidney. And he still drinks more than he should.”
“I hardly drink,” Mandy said.
“There are other ways to destroy yourself than through drinking,” Olivia said. “You only leave your house when we drag you out. You’re basically a hermit.”
“I go to work,” Mandy protested.
“And that’s it, right?”
Mandy hesitated, thinking furiously, and then nodded. It was a fair assessment and one she hadn’t even realized herself. She used to go out with coworkers every Friday night. Sometimes, Brent would join. Other times, he’d spend a night with his buddies. She and Brent used to socialize all the time. Now, she hadn’t the heart to. She stayed at home and remembered all of the good times with Brent, all of the happy memories. There was both a joy and sorrow to the reminiscences.
The three girls would never allow Mandy to completely become a hermit. Alexis didn’t even live out here in Toledo, so she would drive the hour from Hazel Park. Mandy, Claire, and Alexis had all belonged to a pack in Hazel Park. Mandy found Brent and moved out to Toledo. Claire’s long-time boyfriend and his family had switched packs when they moved to Toledo, and she had followed him. Only Alexis still lived out there, and from the sounds of it, that asshole of an alpha Mandy and Claire had left behind was becoming an even larger asshole. Which was hard to imagine.
“Love is silly,” Olivia said. “It’s crazy that you found someone out here, so far from your original pack. But you did find someone. You merged into our pack. You have a home here, a family. Maybe you aren’t supposed to find someone else. But maybe you are. Would Brent really want you to spend all of your time here in the house? I don’t think so. You two were so active, so social. You’ve lost yourself, Mandy. You need to find out who you are again.”
Mandy opened her mouth but shut it without speaking. Tears prickled her eyes.
“If you really don’t want to try again, I won’t press the issue anymore,” Olivia said. “Just know that I’m here for you. We all are.”
Suddenly, Olivia’s jaw dropped, and her eyes bulged.
“You do feel like you’re a true member of our pack, right? You aren’t thinking about running back to Hazel Park with Alexis?”
A tear trickled down Mandy’s cheek. “I’ve thought about visiting my parents, but it wouldn’t be permanent. I can’t. I won’t. I won’t leave Brent’s resting place. I wouldn’t be able to live so far away.”
Olivia embraced
Mandy, and somehow, Mandy found herself agreeing to just one more date. She didn’t have high hopes for this one, but finding herself again, putting herself back into the world, that did seem like a good idea.
5
This time, Mandy applied her own makeup and wore a simple, not too tight wraparound dress. She looked chic without appearing to be trying too hard. It wasn’t overly sexy at all, but it did boost her confidence level.
And to be going through another blind date a week after that first terrible one meant she needed all the confidence she could get.
Mandy’s nerves kicked up as she drove over to the restaurant. She was grateful that she wouldn’t be trapped in a car with a stranger again.
This place was a step up from the chain place last time around, and she gave his name, Clyde Weber. Immediately, she was ushered to a table for two in the back corner of the place. Rather intimate. Too intimate.
Just breathe.
Jack had been a werewolf like Mandy, and she assumed Clyde would be one too. The fluid grace that he used to swiftly stand and guide her to her chair told her he had to be a cat of some kind.
“Hello, you must be Mandy. You look ravishing.”
She had gone to hold out her hand, but she withdrew it. Ravishing? He was looking at her like she was a slab of meat, and she wasn’t even wearing anything super sexy.
He reached over and used shaking her hand as an excuse to pull her close for a hug. Something in his musky scent alerted her to the fact that her guess was right. Clyde was a werelion.
“Order whatever you want. We can split a bottle of wine if you want.”
“No thank you.”
“You don’t drink?” He blinked in surprise. “Don’t worry. I don’t want to get you drunk.”
“I drink occasionally,” she said. “Maybe another time.”
The waiter came over, and Clyde ordered a beer. When she just got iced water, he sighed.
“Please don’t tell me you’re only going to get a salad.”
“I won’t,” she said, trying not to be annoyed.
Protecting What's Hers (To Love And Defend Book 2) Page 3
