by R E Swirsky
Her mother hugged her and cried as Sarah prepared to leave home for the first time. It was only Bluffington University, just one hour's drive south, but she was leaving home. "In this suitcase are not just clothes, my darling. Inside you carry your future. Wherever you go and wherever you end up, remember where it started. The future you make yourself."
Sarah hugged her mother and never wanted to let her go. She met Gerald at college. He was a construction worker, and she was in her third year. She missed her mother so much.
Sarah knew what she was about to do. She screamed out in agony as she forced herself to her feet. She stumbled to the closet, pulled the red suitcase out from the corner with her good arm, and quickly loaded it with all she could gather. She had made her future with Gerald. She was about to unmake it and start over. It took all of her energy to fight through the pain. She nearly passed out multiple times, but it wasn't long before she made the two phone calls she needed to make and the taxicab pulled up in front of the house.
CHAPTER 9
Tim woke his little sister Amber and did what he did every weekday morning. Amber was only twelve, and it was his job to make sure Amber was up, dressed and off to school each day. Tim's mother was long gone to work already. She had a job at the Tim Horton's on the edge of town, working the five thirty AM morning shift as she did every day. Tim never did have a father, as far as he knew.
Amber was a good little sister and always listened to what Tim told her to do. The routine was the same every day. Tim woke Amber up, fed her breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, locked the house and walked her to the elementary school on his way to the senior high school.
Today was different. Tim sat Amber down and told her she had to walk to school on her own today.
"Why?" she asked. "I don't want to walk by myself, Tim."
Tim tried not to cry. "Just today, Amber. Honest."
"Why aren't you going to school?"
Tim turned his head towards Amber. He grabbed her by the shoulders, pulled her close and hugged her.
"Stop it, Tim," she said and pushed him away. "So why aren't you going to school?"
"I'm just going later," he said. "I've got stuff to do first."
"Like what?" she asked.
"Boy stuff. Just go to school already or you're going to be late."
Tim pushed Amber out the door, and stood on the steps to watch her as she walked down the road. He kept his watch until she finally turned two blocks down on Blonde Street. He went inside, closed the front door and locked it.
Tim already knew what he was going to do next. He had tossed and turned all night, thinking about nothing else. He didn’t really know what else he could do. Who was out there, really, to help him? He had tried to talk to his friends yesterday and made a right mess of that. Yesterday was the tipping point, and there was only one way out of it now.
Tim ran up the stairs to the second floor of the townhouse and into Amber's room. He knew exactly where she kept it, and he pulled open the top dresser drawer. Amber always kept her favourite toys in the top dresser drawer. He knew it would be in there because he had picked it out for her, and she had hugged him and screamed with joy when she unwrapped it six weeks ago on her birthday. His heart pounded as he opened the drawer. "Please, please, be there," he whispered.
To him it had been no big deal. It was just a skipping rope, but it meant the world to Amber. She had never owned her own before and treasured it dearly.
He looked inside the drawer, and there it was, laid out perfectly, the loops all kinked together just as it had come out the package. Amber was always very particular. He grabbed the rope, walked out of her room and stood at the top of the stairs. He leaned over the railing and looked down into the small foyer at the bottom. It was a big drop. His adrenalin rushed, and his heart pounded particularly hard, nearly bursting through his chest. He took a deep breath and tossed one end of the rope over the railing into the foyer.
CHAPTER 10
Tommy awoke later than he hoped. He had a free study period first thing and didn't have to be at school until ten. The sun was already up and the house was quiet. He quickly grabbed his robe and rushed downstairs to find Jason had already left for school.
"Damn," Tommy said, disappointed that he had missed Jason. He still worried about Tim. He ran what Tim said over and over in his mind last night and just couldn't understand why Tim blamed his dad. What was he really talking about? His dad roughed Tim up?
He texted Bobby who lived just four doors down and asked if he also had first study spare.
Bobby quickly texted back that he did. Tommy told him to wait, and he would be right over to walk to school with him. He needed to talk to him about something very important.
CHAPTER 11
Brandy Sykes sat in the emergency waiting room tired and upset. She had been there for nearly four hours since she rushed Sarah over to there in the middle of the night and had still heard nothing from the doctors about Sarah’s condition.
Brandy worked with Sarah as a counsellor at Forest Lawn High School. Over time, she and Sarah had become good friends. Sarah would have named Brandy as her only friend if anyone had ever asked. Gerald didn't allow Sarah to have friends. Over the years, he belittled or taunted her friends when they came over to visit until they finally just quit coming. When Sarah wanted to go out to see them, Gerald told her that she wasn't allowed out of the house to see anyone. Brandy was Sarah's little secret. She was her oasis of promise when things got tough. Gerald didn't even know she existed, and Sarah kept the three-year-long friendship close to her chest, careful to only see Brandy when Gerald was out of town or working late.
Sarah had made two phone calls after she packed up the red suitcase. The first was the distress call to Brandy. The second was the cab as she couldn't drive her five speed with her broken, swollen arm.
The doctor came into the emergency waiting room, nodded at Brandy and pointed to one of the small side rooms. Brandy got up quickly and followed the doctor inside.
"Sarah is doing okay," the doctor told her. One bone was broken and they reset it. There was a lot of bruising on her arms, legs and head but she would recover. The cut on her forehead was minor, and she would have a goose egg to deal with for the next few weeks. The doctor asked if Brandy had witnessed any of Sarah's beatings and Brandy replied "no," shaking her head, somewhat bewildered. The doctor told Brandy that Sarah had been in the hospital many times before today, each time denying that Gerald had touched her, but he had never seen anything this bad.
Brandy was shocked. Sarah's husband was a complete mystery to her. Sarah never talked about him, and Brandy never really even noticed. She told the doctor that she would bring Sarah home with her if that was all right. The doctor agreed it was best, and emphasized that Gerald should not know where she is. He made it clear to Brandy that Gerald could have killed her if she had not protected herself. No one must know where she is.
Could she really do that for Sarah, she asked herself? Could she put herself right into the middle of Sarah's troubles? Could she hide her away as the monster prowled around the city, searching for her relentlessly? Of course she could.
Brandy assured the doctor she would tell no one of Sarah's whereabouts.
The doctor sat down next to Brandy and once again put it very bluntly. Sarah wasn't going to press charges. They needed to ask patients these questions in obvious acts of violence such as this. They would have immediately called the police if her injuries had been any worse, but Sarah insisted.
Brandy's mouth gaped open in shock that Sarah would do nothing after receiving such a beating. The doctor affirmed her response, shrugged and suggested she speak to Sarah. If the damage he did to her tonight was any indication of the type of man Gerald was, Sarah's life may depend on his arrest; the sooner, the better.
He offered to take her up to see Sarah.
CHAPTER 12
Tommy was si
tting in the library after lunch when he read the text on Facebook that just popped in. He stopped what he was doing and read the text again. The blood drained from his head, and he suddenly felt very dizzy.
Did u hear? Tim Guenther killed himself today! Betty Harrison.
Tommy read it again. No! It couldn't be true.
His phoned blipped. Another message.
It cus Doogie beat m up yesterday. Patricia Mackie.
Patricia hung out with Doogie and Willie, and if anyone knew what Doogie did on a daily basis, it was Patricia Mackie.
Another message. And another. The messages began to flow.
Thats so sad. I liked Tim. Simon Cotters.
Where Luke Wilson.
OMG. Not Tim! the hockey player? Andrew Fillpot.
Poor Tim. Luke Wilson.
He was good at hockey. Andrew Fillpot.
I heard he did it at home Patricia Mackie.
It was. ambulance outside rite now Betty Harrison.
u at home Betty? Andrew Fillpot.
all day. Police here 2! Betty Harrison.
Tommy put his cell phone down and looked across the library at the students that continued to press their noses deep into some book or binder. They had not yet heard the news. It was an odd, cold feeling. The room began to close in and Tommy needed to breathe. He quickly stuffed all of his books into his backpack and walked out of the school agitated. He stopped and looked around, not sure which way to go. He was suddenly angry. Very angry.
Tommy replayed Tim's last words repeatedly in his mind.
"Fuck, you’re stupid! Your dad did this to me! Just like everybody else! Fuck, you’re stupid! Your dad! No one does! You don't see it, do you! No one does! Fuck, you’re stupid! Fuck, you’re stupid! Your dad did this to me!
Tommy turned and ran towards home.
CHAPTER 13
Breaking news had its way of travelling through the school. The school didn't allow cell phones in any of the classrooms, but there was always one student who managed to sneak one inside.
Jason was in the middle of afternoon math class when the ruckus erupted at the back of the class. The teacher, Mr. Denson, called for order. In just a few minutes, two girls were starting to cry, and the word suicide was repeated at least a dozen times around the back of the classroom.
Jason listened and turned towards the back like the others from the front of the class. He listened curiously, and wondered who they continued to talk about. When Tim Guenther's name was uttered, his insides turned over and he nearly collapsed in anguish. Jason listened to the words repeated from text messages as they were suddenly repeated aloud for all to hear. Jason felt strongly that those words should be private and not discussed in anything like this public forum.
Mr. Denson demanded order, but the furor continued to grow at an alarming rate, exceeding anything Mr. Denson could handle.
Jason stared around the room, not sure how he should feel. He only knew what was happening around him was wrong. The dull, routine quietness in the classroom was shattered with a strange stimulus that transformed these mates of his into something obscene and indescribable. He suddenly despised these people, and he never wanted to be friends with any of them again. Students, who only moments before were sitting bored, and even yawning periodically, had suddenly awoken and were filled with an exhilarated enthusiasm for gossip and speculation that disgusted Jason. This was his friend they were talking about! Tim was the fodder for their frenzy. He looked about at the many faces in the room. Some were crying, some smiled and a few even laughed. Laughing? Jason felt his stomach churn and the taste of bile inched its way up.
Jason stood up and ran out of the classroom. He ignored Mr. Denson's demand to sit down immediately. It couldn't be true. Not his friend Tim. He ran down the hall as fast as he could. The tears began and he wiped them away, but they wouldn't stop. He stopped at his locker and fumbled to dial in the combination. He had to try three times before he succeeded. He quickly grabbed his iPhone and scrolled through the incoming messages. He needed to see these for himself. He felt weak and slumped against the wall of lockers, and read the messages over and over. He tried to piece together what was happening, but his perspective was lost.
I didn't like that kid anyway Mike Jenkins.
He was cute. asked me out once Maria Fuccini.
:( Larry Holmes.
Who wants to go to his house as soon as they let us out? Billy Jorgeson.
I thought he was great. He was good at hockey. so sad Sarah Shelly.
I'll go Billy. c u at the dumpster Frank Polson.
He wasn't in geo class this morning Shelly Smith.
It was Doogie that drove him to it Francine Falcone.
Willie and Doogie beat him up yesterday I heard. Called him a faggot Bob Sykes.
How'd he do it? Billy Jorgeson.
In his own house. His mother found him. Betty Harrison.
Jason stopped reading. He turned and ran. He crashed through the doors of the school into the cool October air. He wanted to scream, to cry, to beat his head with his hands. None of these people really knew Tim. He was suddenly angry. He was angry at Tim for not talking. He was angry at himself for not really listening.
Why Tim? Why did you have to do this?
He raced down the same path where he found Tim yesterday and cried as he remembered the secret Tim had made him promise not to tell anyone. He didn’t know it, but his brother Tommy also ran down the same path just five minutes ahead of him.
CHAPTER 14
Tommy slowed to a fast walk when he turned on to Founders Road. Founders Road was the place to live in Bluffington. The wealthy and important people of Bluffington owned grandiose houses, and Tommy and Jason's parents were included in that group. The Oliver home was just as large as the others. It was an older two story Victorian, and, like most of the others, it was set on a half-acre lot that reached back to the river behind it.
Tommy walked slowly up to the house, and expected that both his mother and father would be at work, but he spotted one of the garage doors in the back wide open. His father's polished, jet-black, series 5 BMW sat parked inside. His father was home? In the middle of the afternoon? Tommy quickly assumed his father was in the office attached to the garage. He slowly strolled slowly up to the open garage door, squeezed past the BMW and approached the office door.
He dropped his backpack on the cement floor and put his ear up to the inside door that led into the office but he heard nothing. Tommy remained there with his ear to the door still listening when Jason entered the garage behind him. He was still out of breath from running all the way home.
"What are you doing?"
"Shhh!" Tommy replied and waved his hand behind him to quiet his brother. He still heard nothing from the office beyond the door.
Jason wiped the last of the tears and dirt from his face and walked two steps towards his brother. He looked at Tommy. "You heard I guess."
Tommy turned toward Jason and nodded. Both boys stared at one another. Neither knew how to approach the subject.
"Dad's home," is all Tommy said.
Jason rubbed his hand across the car and walked towards Tommy. "What'd you hear?" he asked.
Tommy shrugged as tears welled into his eyes. "Just stuff." He wasn't sure what to say. He glanced again at the BMW.
"I ran into Tim last night," Jason said and stared at the cement floor in the garage. "He said some things… I..." He began to cry. Tommy stepped towards Jason, put one arm around him, and rubbed his head with the other.
"It's not your fault," Tommy said. He began to review his own recent encounter with Tim. "Fuck!" he said loudly. He let go of Jason and put his hands on his head in frustration. He suddenly pushed Jason hard. Jason fell backwards across the hood of the BMW and nearly slipped off the car onto the garage floor.
Jason scrambled about and tried not to roll off. He recovered, righted himself
and sat upon the hood. He shouted at Tommy. "What did you do that for?" He could see his brother was angry.
Tommy shook his head, the rage building inside. "It's not you. Damn it, Jason! It's just what Tim said to me last night!"
"You spoke to him last night?" Jason asked. "When did you talk to him?"
"After the game. The one you never showed up to and left me standing outside waiting for you!"
"Screw you, Tommy! I came across Tim getting beat up by that shithead Doogie in the forest by the school, and I stepped in to stop it! I scrapped with Doogie. Bust his lip pretty good, too. Tim was really upset. The stupid game and meeting you didn't seem very important after that."
Tommy nodded his head repeatedly and raised his hands to calm Jason down. "Okay, okay! But Tim said some serious shit to me that I didn't understand last night. Maybe if I had I could've stopped him."
"What did he tell you? Did he tell you anything? Like why he did it?"
Tommy shouted back with frustration embedded in his voice. "You think if he had told me anything like that I'd have let him go home last night? What do you think I am, Jason?" He slammed his hand down on the workbench, kicked his backpack that sat on the floor and slowly wandered about agitated.
"So what did he tell you?"
"Damn it, I can't. I don't know really."
"Tell me!"
Tommy's eyes glazed over as his mind rolled through Tim's words again. "He said a lot of shit! Nonsense. Weird stuff."
"He told me some things too, but what he told me wasn't shit! He was scared, Tommy. Scared real bad. He told me he didn't want to live anymore."
Tommy grabbed a screwdriver off the bench, waved it in the air, and threatened to toss it across the garage. Fury set itself deep in his panicked eyes. "He actually told you he didn't want to live? Jesus, Jason!"
"I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't talk."
