by Giger, S. L.
“And there I thought you actually like hanging out with me, but of course I am only a distraction from something bigger.” He sulked mockingly.
“That’s not how I mean it, and you know it. It’s more that you indeed manage to take my mind off other things.” Sam made me feel as if I had a rightful place at Orleans High as if we had been friends since forever.
“That’s good, I guess. And what’s the reason this time?”
Since I didn’t receive any vibes from Sam that he was interested in me, I had no problems discussing other guys with him.
“Remember the guy who did this survey with me last week?” I asked, and Sam nodded. “He wanted to see me again.”
“Okay. Well, you are pretty, of course, he wants to see you again,” Sam nudged me.
“Well, he lives in Boston and he is in college,” I said as if these were two justifying reasons for not wanting to meet him anymore.
“The distance would be a bit unfortunate but imagine how awesome it must be to have a college boyfriend.”
“But what could a college guy want from a girl that is still going to high school?” I overplayed that he didn't know since I had lied to him.
“You must have made a really good first impression. But you are also interested in him, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but it would be too much of a complication right now. Thus, I would be glad if I’d be distracted on Wednesday and miss the opportunity to see him again.”
“Fine, it’s your decision. If he is a significant person for your life, your paths will cross again no matter what anyway. All the important people you will meet at least twice.” He said with such a certainty that I couldn’t but believe that it’s true.
So, Wednesday was settled. Now I only had to go through with it and not stand up Sam to go meet the guy at the last second after all. I hoped that that decision would stop my mind from wandering to him every other second. Apparently, my mind was in an endless-loop. That’s when I realized that something needed to change. I had way too much time on my hands to think about things, especially at night.
I needed more occupation. Only, what should I do? Nobody would take a seventeen-year-old girl for a night job. But I wanted a job. Another fact was that I wanted to have money of my own again. Melissa and Luke had been so nice to provide me with everything. Not that we needed a lot of money since we didn’t spend anything on food and drinks. But money to live, to enjoy myself, to not be dependent upon someone else any longer.
I addressed this to Melissa and Luke.
“Well, what would you like to do?” Melissa asked.
“That’s the problem; I have no idea.” I smiled grimly. “I could ask one of the stores in town, but that still would leave me playing scrabble with you at night. No offense.”
“Maybe a big supermarket chain has a night shift to stack the shelves,” Melissa suggested.
I wrinkled my nose. I mean, I didn’t have an exact idea of what I could do, but I knew pretty well that I didn’t want to do that.
“Otherwise you do it like Roisin. Get a fake ID and go work in a club or something.” Luke said to my surprise. “What, it’s not as if what you are now is any less fake than another plastic card with a picture of you on it would be. Besides, you would be seventeen already, so what if you add another few years to make you twenty-one. I heard your drinking age is eighteen.”
“I like that idea,” I said. I didn’t want to look at Melissa because I was sure she’d veto that.
And there it was. “Why does it have to be a club? You could work in a hospital as an aid.”
“Don’t I need to study for that? Plus, hospitals still freak me out.”
“Yes, you do need some kind of training.” She replied.
“Which would also cost money and for now, I’d like to be able to contribute something, too. Plus, I desperately need a cell phone. It’s odd to be the only person at school that doesn’t have one.”
“Seriously, you don’t have to contribute anything. We like having you here and the most important thing is, that you get accustomed to your life as a Siren.” Melissa said.
“Yes, but perhaps I got too accustomed. I am bored during the nights. I need a distraction.”
“I can completely understand that. I feel like I spend way too much time staring into a computer,” Luke said.
“And I don’t even have a computer,” I exclaimed.
“I’m worried that another ID card would get too confusing. It’s dangerous already, being around noisy High School kids every day. Working somewhere during the night as well might attract too much attention,” Melissa said.
“You worry all the time. Roisin would surely support me also.” I said, knowing that it was a bit mean to play the ‘Roisin is cooler card.’
“Yes, but she also never thinks about consequences.” She said, her eyes narrowing.
Luke lay an arm around her.
“I don’t see such a problem with her working during the night. So far, everything has gone like clockwork.”
“Mh.” Melissa nodded and exhaled.
“I’ll keep my eyes open,” Luke said.
“Thanks.” I smiled.
The next evening, Melissa and Luke surprised me with two parcels. I unwrapped the first one and held a brand-new smartphone in my hands.
“Oh, thank you so much.” I hugged both of them. “It’s not even my birthday, and you give me a phone?”
“We figured that you were right. Plus, it will be more convenient for us, too, if you can let us know when you are going where.” Melissa said.
“But there is more.” I glanced at the second parcel.
“Yes, this will make your job search more efficient,” Luke explained.
If it would be what I think it was, they were way too generous. I unwrapped the flat square box and sure enough, it was a laptop.
“No, that’s too much. Let me pay it back to you once I have money.”
“It’s our pleasure, take it as a gift,” Melissa said.
It’s always a bit annoying until everything on a new computer is set up. At the same time, it was a nice feeling to be connected to the wide world again. Of course, the first thing I did was sign into my Facebook account to go look at everybody’s pictures.
“Hold on,” Luke said, “you cannot go back online as your old self. Remember, this part of you is dead.”
My shoulders sunk.
“I’ve made this mistake myself. It created quite the confusion for a moment. Even if you open a new account, the temptation that you will go stalk your old friends and family is too appealing. Don’t touch your old email accounts, and don’t sign up to a social network at all. We could block these websites on your laptop,” he suggested.
“I can see that there is a certain danger but seriously, don’t treat me like a child all the time. If I am already not allowed to see my family, let me at least have the chance to fully establish myself here.” I said. “I won’t do anything stupid.”
Luke smiled. “I know you won’t. I give you a lot of credit for the way you manage everything.”
“Thanks. Good to know that at least somebody still sees that it’s not always easy for me.”
On the implied Wednesday, I felt like I was on pins and needles all day at school. I still wasn’t 100% convinced whether I’d stick to my safety plan or whether I’d dart to Boston in the last minute. However, at 2.30pm I forced my feet to walk to the entrance of the school to meet Sam. On the way there, I bumped into Kyle.
“Hey, you didn’t come to the game,” he said.
“I am aware of that,” I replied.
“There could always be a next time.” He looked at me encouragingly.
“Who knows, Kyle. Maybe if Timothy stops his nasty remarks toward Phe. I don’t want to be treated the same way if I ever should come to a game and then do something your friends don’t like.”
“He is just messing with her.” He said as if that was an excuse for everything.
“
Well, it’s not funny,” I answered briskly.
“I will try to put in a good word for her. I have to go to practice now. See you around.” He tipped his head and walked off.
I rolled my eyes. “See ya.” After feeling so drawn to this guy from UMass the other day, I knew then and there, that Kyle would never stand a chance. Yet, Phe’s bullying actually did become better after that. But it also could have been because all the seniors were so busy finding a solution for after High School.
Sam was waiting in the lobby with Joe and Phe.
“I thought the more, the merrier, plus for my plan we kind of need a driver, so we have no other choice but to take Phe.” He grinned and earned a punch in his side. “I have no idea what Joe is here for, but it would be rude to not take him along.” He winked.
We strolled to Phe’s car together. Since most students were leaving the parking lot now, we had to wait in line for a while. It was funny to watch the going-ons in the car park. Everybody had to prove that they were cool. The guys wanted to be better than everybody else, so they sat in their cars with their arm leaning on the open window frame, making their muscles appear bigger. The girls were afraid not to be the prettiest. Therefore, they had re-applied their makeup and improved their hair do, only to go home.
We were listening to ‘Mumford and Sons’ with our windows rolled down.
“So, do we have any kind of plan?” I asked when we pulled out of the parking lot.
“Do we have any kind of plan?” Sam laughed boastfully. “You hear the trust this girl has in us? Of course, we have a plan, a master plan. You will probably be surprised how I could even come up with such a plan on such short notice.”
“Okay, so where are we going?” I asked.
“And what an impatient, ungrateful creature she is.” He was visibly enjoying himself.
“If it comforts you, I have no idea where we are going either.” Joe leaned over to me. We were sitting in the back, while Sam had called shotgun.
After about a twenty minutes’ drive, Phe pulled onto a smaller road.
“First stop, Nauset Lighthouse,” Phe called. “You have fifteen minutes to your free leisure. There is a public bathroom at the beginning of the boardwalk and a gift shop at the entrance to the lighthouse.” Her voice was like one of an overenthusiastic tour guide.
The red and white tower was very cute, but the beach behind it was even more idyllic. I must come back here in the summer when it would be warm enough again to jump into the waves. In late October, it was already a bit chilly for that.
“You live right by the beach, right?” Phe asked me as we were strolling back up the boardwalk.
“Yes, why?” I said reluctantly.
“I wondered why we never go to your house. It must be really nice.”
“It’s so far away. Plus, my dad works from home. He doesn’t like it when I bring people over.” I trailed off. It was so odd to call Luke ‘dad’.
“Ah, I see. Yeah, but that’s what I also thought, how are you able to bike all these miles every day?”
“How would you even know that it’s so many miles?” I tried to joke.
“Well, town gossip, you know. I’m at the source in the Honeyland.”
“You talk about me behind my back?” I made a sad puppy face.
“No, of course not. I just listen.”
“But actually, you could come over some time. It’s not like we’ve got something to hide.” I gave a short laugh.
The boys hadn’t said anything so far, but obviously, they had been listening intensely.
“Yes, a beach party,” Sam called.
“See, that’s what I mean. I live there. It’s not a party place.” I turned around.
“Ah, don’t be so lame.” He winked at me.
“But so, what do the people say about me?” I turned to Phe.
She hesitated for a moment. “Some people at school are convinced that you are adopted and that your family only pretends to be a family.”
“Wow, and why would we pretend to be a family?” I threw my hands in the air in annoyance.
“Okay, this is pretty ridiculous, but you know how imaginative the kids at our school can be. Olivia and her crew from your grade are convinced that you are spies from another country.”
“Of course. And that’s why I spend so much time with you because you probably hide the biggest American secrets.” I snorted.
“I told you, it’s ridiculous. But downtown is a small place, and they like to guess about the crazy lives of the beach people.”
“Did you know about this?” I looked at the boys who guiltily shrugged their shoulders.
“Well, your family is very private. My theory actually is that your dad is a famous film star and you don’t want anybody to know about it.”
“What, not you too,” I exclaimed. “Why am I the last one to hear about this?”
“When do you ever talk to other people at school or in town except when guys try to flirt with you?”, Sam said.
“I don’t flirt with any guys.”
“I said when they try to.”
“I don’t know. I have you; that’s enough. I don’t feel the need to talk to other people. Especially, when I feel like I have to prove something all the time. Joe doesn’t talk to other people either.” Damned, would it be better to let the rumors run or should we behave more social? “And his parents are never home.”
“True. What you don’t know is that my parents are actually Vampires and they only come out at night.” He joked.
“Don’t worry Nathalie, it’s just the jealousy of people who would like to have a house directly at the waterfront,” Phe said.
We got back into the car and continued our way to the outermost part of the Cape. On the street signs, I read Provincetown and so I guessed that this would be our destination. We left the car somewhere in the center of town and started wandering the streets. The historical houses were very pretty, and I really liked the old fashioned red street lamps. There were many people out and about for a Wednesday afternoon. Men walking hand in hand and even female couples openly displaying their affection. None of the families, the children or elderly people seemed to care. I decided that I liked that place.
After walking around for an hour, we sat down on a bench by the port and watched the seagulls for a while. I had seen dozens of rainbow flags, and we had received three flyers for parties for that evening.
“We should go to one,” I said excitedly. “Then you have your party.” I looked at Sam.
“You have to be twenty-one.”
“Whatever, let’s find a way to get in.”
We all looked at each other, excited about the idea but unsure whether we could do it.
Phe was the first one to frown. “I can’t stay so long. I told my parents that we are on another college visit.”
“Same here,” Sam said.
“For me it’s okay. My parents probably assume that I am at one of your houses anyway.” Joe said. “But since I need a ride back, I have to go with what the boss says.” He looked at Phe.
“Well, we all do,” I said. “But wouldn’t it be awesome?”
We all stared at each other for a moment and hoped that somebody would have a good idea.
“Next year, Nathalie. Visit us at college, and we can go to as many parties as you want.” Sam said.
“I’ll take you up on that.”
With all the sightseeing, I almost forgot the whole purpose of this trip, which was not to think of the other guy. Only almost, though. Because whenever I remembered where I could be instead, I felt a slight wave of panic surge over me. What if I had made the biggest mistake of my life? After all, you don’t feel this kind of feelings with every man you meet. Moreover, I had never felt like that with any guy I have met so far. What if that’s what love at first sight feels like and I just walked away from it out of fear that it was some kind of illusion? I wanted to feel that way again, he made me feel when he laid his eyes on me. It felt as if he
really saw who I was and not just my outside appearance. It’s difficult to explain. His glance alone made my existence a lot more real. As if I had only been sleepwalking through life until his eyes shone daylight upon me and had woken me up. I realized that there was more to discover. I hoped that Sam was right and that I would get a second chance to meet him again.
Chapter 11
I kept looking for jobs online but most ads for jobs during the night appeared a bit dodgy. I was almost desperate enough to take on a job working for a 24-hour service hotline. Luckily, by the umpteenth time, I heard the redeeming message on the radio. ‘Heeeeelloo folks who know how to have a great time! Make sure that on your next trip to Boston, you get your dose of good music, drinks, and craic! The Wild Rover is Boston’s favorite Irish pub. With Halloween coming up, we’ll have extra live music sessions toward the end of the month. Come enjoy the spirit of Ireland and visit The Wild Rover, 71 Fairview Street, Boston. Open daily from noon ‘till 1 am.’
I never paid attention to the text before, but now I caught the opening times. I wondered whether they could use some extra help during the night shifts. My only problem was that nobody would hire a seventeen-year-old girl for that job. I needed some advice, and I knew the right person I could get it from. I set a date with Roisin the next day for after school. Since I was excited about the first time I would go to New York City – the big apple – Roisin promised me that she would show me all the good spots of the city. I met Roisin in her apartment in the middle of NYC. She had added a few strands of blue into her black hair. Apparently, she changed her color almost every week. The apartment was tiny and the bathroom practically nonexistent.
“And you lived in here with Melissa?” I looked at her doubtfully.
“It’s NYC, what else do you expect? Rents are horrendous. Despite that, it’s still the coolest city in the world, and every penny or noise in the night is worth it. Besides, if I get cabin fever, I can get to other places pretty quickly,” she winked.
“How is school going?”
“Good, except that people think that we are hiding something.”
“As long as they don’t start hunting you down to throw you on a barn fire, let them talk.” She said.
