"Have you ever seen your brothers?" Rikki asked, her voice soft, almost a caress.
He closed his eyes and savored the touch of her fingers on his scalp. He should have known she would focus on the loss of his family instead of the assassinations. "I've seen three of them. Our paths crossed on jobs." He didn't--couldn't--elaborate. They had all worried that if it was known that they had spoken, one of them would be chosen as an example to all of them and would be eliminated. They wouldn't risk further contact unless it was an emergency.
Rikki was silent for a long time, turning his revelations over and over in her mind. He had never had a chance at life. He was so alone and lost, just as she had been. He was afraid to reach for something better. She knew how difficult it was to let go of the familiar. No matter how bad it was, one knew the rules in their own world.
She stroked his hair and leaned her head back against the headboard, allowing the rain to soothe her when her heart ached for him. "I think you're better off here, Lev. Stay here awhile and just let yourself live. There aren't any strings. I'm not asking anything of you. Just find who you want to be, who you really are underneath it all. Whoever that person is, will be welcome here."
The burning behind his eyes hurt. He just lay there, holding her, afraid if he moved, he'd shatter, just break into a million pieces. He also knew it wouldn't matter to her if he did--she wouldn't view him as less than a man. She would simply accept him.
He took a breath and allowed himself to feel very real love for another human being. He told her the stark truth. The emotion was strong, swamping him, invading every part of his mind, his heart and his body. He shook with it. He let it consume him, filling up every empty space. Several heartbeats went by before he could speak.
"I want to spend my life with you, Rikki, not just a few moments, not a few nights. If you take me on, we'll work together, no matter what comes up, and we'll find a way to make it all work."
Her heart jumped. He felt it, but he didn't look up.
"I don't want to go back to living in the shadows, lyubimaya. If we do this, it has to be all the way, because I don't know how to be any other way than what they trained me to be. Here, with you, I'm different. If I leave you, I'm back in a black void. Maybe I belong there," he nuzzled her thigh with his chin, "but I've had a taste of something else. You're magic to me, Rikki. I don't know why, but I know without you, I don't have a chance of living a normal life."
She made a strangled sound in her throat. "Lev. By any stretch of the imagination, I'm not the norm. Maybe you're not seeing me as I am. I can't even let you use my bathroom. You've somehow managed to get into the bed, but I still wince when you're in the kitchen and I can't watch you cook. Is that the kind of life you envisioned for yourself?"
"My life is killing, Rikki. I stalk my target, immerse myself in their life, kill them and disappear without a trace. There's nothing left of me because I'm not real."
"You're real."
He rolled onto his back to look up at her face. "I'm not real to anyone else. I'm a ghost to most people, a weapon the government lets loose on the world when they need it. When they get to the point where I'm too scary for them to handle, a contract will be issued and then it will be a matter of time before someone just like me shows up to eliminate me."
"But you've been loyal and you've carried out whatever task they've asked of you, no matter how abhorrent to you, right?" Rikki protested. "Why would anyone you've served want you dead?"
"I have too much information running around in my head and I'm dangerous. They would presume that eventually, if I'm not working for them, I'll work against them."
She frowned and he couldn't help himself, he reached up and traced her soft lips.
"Then it's a good thing that everyone thinks you're dead, Lev."
He sighed. "That man on the platform that day. You called him Ralph. He saw me."
"Not your face. I said you were visiting. And why would he remember?"
"You honestly don't know, do you?" He was a bit shocked at her naivete. "He was trying to flirt with you and you didn't give him the time of day."
"That's just silly. He's friendly to all the divers. And you had a concussion and were imagining things."
"It's my job to catch every little nuance, Rikki. It's the difference between life and death. Believe me, the man was flirting. He finds you intriguing. And it's probably the first time he's ever seen you with a man."
Now her frown reached her eyebrows and he had to trace them as well because he just couldn't resist. "He noticed me, all right. And when they come looking--and they will--he'll mention that you were out on the sea that day and I was with you. That will lead some very bad people straight to you." He wasn't certain if he was warning her, asking permission to kill Ralph or needing to see her reaction to knowing Ralph had been interested.
"You might be just a little paranoid, Lev. Why in the world would he talk to perfect strangers about seeing either of us?"
"Because my government will send their best cleaner and he knows how to get information."
She suddenly smiled. "Well, I guess we'd better have a plan for when that happens."
He stared up at her face for a long time, wondering how he'd found her. The water was so cold, so dark, his lungs burned and his ears had nearly imploded, and his body and head had been battered against rocks, tumbling until there was only death waiting. He'd seen death. It hadn't been any better for him than life. And then Rikki. He touched her with reverence.
"You know that I intend to make love to you."
She went very still, just as he'd known she would. "You haven't tried."
He wasn't certain what that meant, whether she was disappointed or just stating the truth. He figured it was probably the latter. She was very accepting of reality. "It has to be right with you, Rikki. You're different. You're real, not a job. You matter. I've never been with a woman who mattered to me."
"I can't imagine you not getting any woman you wanted, Lev."
He smiled, his heart suddenly lighter as he kissed her thigh right on one of those shimmering raindrops. He was very fond of her boy shorts. The ones she was wearing had little pink stripes wrapping around her as if she were a gift to be opened. "Thank you, but I never wanted a woman for myself. There've been women. Too many. Assignments. I used them to get what I wanted. This isn't ever going to be about using you. This is going to be about making love to you."
He stroked his fingers over her satin thigh, over the drops. Were they tears? How could she be so soft when she spent so much time in the water? There was always a faint fragrance just out of his reach, subtle, yet so Rikki.
"I've got to warn you, Lev"--her voice trembled, and for the first time when he looked at her, she looked away from him--"I'm not very good at lovemaking. It's not like I have a lot of experience, and when someone touches me, sometimes it hurts."
He propped himself up on one elbow and slid her down so that she sprawled out beneath him. "Well, we'll have to go slow and see what you like and what you don't like, won't we?"
13
THE butterflies were out in force, taking flight in the pit of Rikki's stomach. She stared up at Lev's face. So dominant. So beautifully masculine. Why him? Why did Lev send every single nerve ending in her body into high alert? Why did she wait for the brush of his fingers on her skin when she could barely tolerate other people's touch? The center of her left palm pulsed and she closed her fingers over the tingling warmth.
His eyes were amazing. A deep-sea blue she was immediately lost in. If she had a thought of self-preservation, it was gone the moment she looked into his eyes. There was desire smoldering there, a scorching intensity that burned right through her. His eyes couldn't lie, he actually wanted her that much and how could she ever resist?
Rikki touched his face tentatively. His hand was on her bare stomach, his fingers spread wide to take in as much territory as possible. She was acutely aware of the skin-to-skin contact; he seemed to burn a brand right
through the surface and deep into her body. She'd never felt like this with anyone. His touch was as real and as vivid as the world of the sea, or the rain.
She became aware of the music in the rain changing--not through her, but through him, as if he conducted now. Dreamy, sensual, an exotic, erotic beat that kept time with the movements of his fingers. Each stroke sent little tremors through her body. She was mesmerized by him, by the sight and feel of him, by the way he looked at her--as if she were the only woman in the world. It was there in his head, that conviction that there could be no other for him. It was a fairly heady aphrodisiac when she'd spent so much of her time alone--when no one had ever really seen who she was and wanted her anyway.
Everything he said, she felt the truth of. The connection between them was so strong, she doubted if he could lie effectively to her. For some unknown reason, and she was grateful for that reason, Lev had settled on her as the one. She'd never really been anyone's one.
Daniel had loved her in his way. She was a good companion to him, a diver who understood their world. She demanded little from him. He cared for her and he liked sex with her, but he'd never thought to take his time to try to please her. She had such a difficult time with touch that Daniel had believed in getting things over with as fast as possible, not in trying to find a solution.
Had she used Daniel? She frowned, turning the question over and over in her mind. They'd been a convenience for one another, but she'd felt affection for him--loved him. She hadn't had the same level of physical attraction for him that she had for Lev, but he'd been a good man and she'd loved him for the way he treated her--never as an outcast. As his equal. As a partner. She'd never had that before and there would always be a special place in her heart for him.
Lev lowered his head and brushed kisses up her leg, tasting each raindrop. "Keep your thoughts with this man, lyubimaya moya." He brushed a kiss across her tummy.
"You sound just a little jealous," she observed.
His warm mouth continued to move over her stomach and his teeth gave a little nip of reprimand. The sting jolted through her body, straight to her center, sending a flood of heat spreading through her body. His tongue swirled over her skin, a velvet rasp of pleasure.
Rikki could barely breathe, her lungs burning while her heart hammered out of control. She took a deep breath and her breasts brushed against his bare chest. Instantly her nipples peaked, and her breasts felt swollen and achy, so sensitive that when he looked up at her, tiny sparks of electricity ran from her nipples straight to her womb. She touched her tongue to her lips, trembling with the unfamiliar sensations.
How could he make her body come alive this way? One look. One touch. She reached up to touch his heavily muscled chest. The pads of her fingers absorbed the texture and feel of him, that exquisite heat flowing from him to her. Her eyes searched his, seeking reassurance. She was so nervous. Before, having sex had been a bodily function; now it was a necessity--she knew instinctively that once she experienced it, she would always crave it.
Lev could see how nervous she was, there was a touch of fear in those mysterious eyes, yet there was hunger too--and trust. He dropped his head to swirl his tongue around her belly button. "We won't do anything you're not comfortable with, Rikki, and if anything hurts or doesn't feel good, you tell me."
Her fist bunched in his hair. "This thing with you, it's growing fast. Too fast. If we do this and you change your mind, I don't know, Lev. I've got a good life. I am happy just the way it is. I don't want to be left behind a mess."
Wanting you. Craving you. Needing you.
He caught her thoughts. She was frightened. His courageous Rikki, frightened of making love with him. She'd given her body to Daniel because that was what couples did when they committed to each another. He had no doubt that she would have remained loyal to the man, but she was committing more than her body to Lev, and that was terrifying to a woman who needed absolute balance in her life.
"It's okay," he whispered against her soft skin. "You're safe with me."
He meant it. She was so innocent. So bright. She had a core of steel running through her, yet she was fragile and vulnerable--too much so. Those who loved her recognized that. He didn't remember innocence or brightness or vulnerability, but she somehow gave it all back to him. He'd read her file and knew she was capable of violence, knew others had misread her inability to cope with the sounds and the environment around her. She'd needed help, and no one had given it to her until Blythe and the others had stepped in. He would always--always--protect and watch over them for that alone. Because this woman ...
He kissed his way up her narrow rib cage to the underside of her breasts, pushing the thin tank top up as he went so that it bunched just over her nipples. He felt the tremor that ran through her and his heart responded with a strange melting sensation. His body was thick and full, more so than it had ever been. He felt an urgent demand for relief, but he knew it was his soul making love to her. His soul needed her brightness and innocence. He knew he was as bound to her as she was to water.
The center of his left palm pulsed and ached, sending a chain reaction through his body so that his erection grew fuller. He was grateful he wore no clothes, because already the blanket was bothering his skin. He threw it off, lifting her to pull it out from under her, so he could shove it away from him, so there were only the cool sheets and the rain outside.
His thigh slid over hers, pinning her down while his hand slid up her arm to her shoulder, just memorizing the feel of her. He closed his eyes to savor her softness. His hand continued up to her neck, her face, and stilled, bunching in her thick, wild hair. He captured her breathy sigh as his lips took hers. He had had sex, yet this was the first time he'd ever made love and he wanted to experience every sensation.
He wanted her until his lungs burned for air and his chest felt tight. He was afraid his heart might explode, and if not his heart, then definitely his cock. Her kisses were like a drug that sent fire rushing through his veins. He would never get enough of that soft, perfect mouth. He kissed her over and over until she was melting into him, her soft gasps turning to soft little pleas.
Only then did he kiss his way to her neck, that vulnerable neck that he'd fantasized about more than once. Her skin had that scent of fresh rain he'd come to associate with her and he fed on it, using tongue and teeth, nipping and teasing, indulging himself while she moved against him restlessly, her breasts heaving against his chest.
Need was a monster that raged at him, clawing and tearing at his belly and groin, while love kept his touch gentle. Did other men feel like this? He'd never believed in love until Rikki. She wiped out every bad place he'd ever been--every bad thing he'd ever done. She took all the broken pieces and fit them together somehow. She thought herself damaged, but really, he was the one lost.
He kissed his way to the top of her tank, one hand resting possessively on her stomach. He felt the muscles bunch there, and she tensed as he lowered his mouth to her nipple right through the thin material. Her hips jerked and she shuddered, wrapping her arms around his head.
"Lev." Her voice was broken, a mixture of pleasure, fear and hunger.
He suckled for a moment, and then pulled back, nipping with his teeth, feeling the answering response in the tremors running through her body. "I never dreamed I'd have a woman like you, Rikki. Never. I never even imagined I could want or have a woman of my own, much less that it would feel like this."
He whispered the words to her. She'd given him a gift beyond measure and all he had to give in return was his loyalty, his love and his words. He couldn't even give her his real name, not without endangering her and his brothers. They would have to live with Hammond, not Prakenskii, and if there was a God, Lev hoped He understood. Lev drew her tank over her head and tossed it aside, lowering his head immediately to the temptation of her breast. Pleasure shuddered through him as she arched into him, pressing her breast deeper into the heat of his mouth. He began to suck on her sensitive nipp
le, gently using the edge of his teeth as her hips bucked against him.
Very gently he drew her little boy shorts down the length of her legs. She cooperated, lifting her hips, nearly sobbing, kicking them aside, and her body grew hotter beneath his wandering hand and the expertise of his mouth. She was unbelievably soft, her body silky smooth, and each time she cried out his name, he sank deeper under her spell.
His tongue teased her nipple, a velvet rasp that had her crying out and clutching at his hair with both hands. He opened his eyes to look into hers. Those huge eyes were black as the deepest sea, where he'd been so lost. He was still lost, but he was safe with her. She looked a little dazed, as if he might be drugging her with his touch. He bent his head, still watching her, and licked at her nipple like an ice cream cone. Her entire body shuddered and her hips rose to press tightly against him.
His hand slid up and down her thigh in small brush-strokes, caressing that silky skin up and around her hip all the way up to the underside of her buttocks. Her eyes went wide and her breath caught in her throat. He took her nipple between his teeth and bit very gently, all the while staring into the black, fathomless depths of her eyes.
He loved watching her reaction. She was giving herself to him, putting herself in his hands and giving him an untutored response worth all the money in the world. His hand slipped around to the moist heat between her legs, covering the silky triangle of her mound with his palm. Color crept up her body, flushing her breasts, her neck and into her face. Her breathing turned ragged and broken.
Lev!
There it was again, his name whispered inside his head. A moan of need, a heady sound that made his cock throb and jerk with demand.
Water Bound Page 24
