“Of course, not,” I defend.
“How long have you known?”
Cringe. “I don’t know… a few weeks maybe. He’s in my English class.”
His eyes widen as the rage from earlier bubbles right to the top, morphing into complete fury. “A few fucking weeks?” he roars. “You better have a good fucking excuse for not telling me about this.”
Shit. This is not good. So not good.
“He didn’t see me,” I tell him as he speeds through the streets, ignoring nearly every single traffic law. “He didn’t know that I went to BHU, so I didn’t want to worry you.”
“How the hell am I supposed to protect you from that dickhead if I have no fucking idea that I needed to?” I shrug my shoulders and glance away. I can’t bear the look in his eyes. “Fuck,” he roars, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. “This is fucking Lukas all over again. No. It’s fucking worse than Lukas.”
“Nate, calm down.”
“Calm down?” he snaps. “Why the fuck should I calm down? Josh fucking Henderson goes to this school and you didn’t tell me. He tried to rape you in a broom closet and film it for the world to see. How long did you think you’d get before he realized you were here? Did you think he was just going to forget what happened? That we beat the fucking shit out of him every time he looked your way? Because I can guarantee you, he didn’t. That fucker is going to come after you with everything he’s got.”
Tears spring to my eyes as I turn back to him. “I just…”
“What? What fucked up excuse did you tell yourself to make it easier for you to sleep at night?”
I shake my head. “Don’t talk to me like that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, should I be happy about all this?”
He pulls up out the front of my place, having gotten here quicker than I ever could. I turn and glare at him. “I did this for you,” I yell back at him. “This isn’t high school where you can beat the shit out of someone and have mommy and daddy pay your way out of it. This is college. You hit someone and you’re not just out, you’ll be fucking sued. You’re going to end up losing everything before you even get started. It’s the same as Lukas,” I tell him, pushing my way out of the car. I turn back to face him. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t do it. You have your fucked up way of protecting me, and this is my way of protecting you.”
With that, I slam the door and turn away as the sound of Nate’s Camaro screeching up the road echoes loudly through my quiet little street.
Tears stream down my face by the time I get to the front door. My vision goes blurry and I have to wipe them away to be able to get the key in the lock.
I walk in and collapse down onto the couch and cry. Nate was right, I should have told him the second I saw him. It was stupid for me not to, but Nate’s future is just as important as mine and now I can’t guarantee the safety of that. Hell, now I can’t guarantee my own damn safety.
Josh knows I’m here and nothing is going to stop him looking for me, and now that Nate knows, there’s nothing stopping him going after Josh.
What the hell do I do? How do I make this go away?
How did I get myself in this situation?
The door opens and when I look up, I find Brooke pushing her way through. It’s clear she hadn’t expected me to be here, but when she sees the tears in my eyes, she pauses. There’s a need within her to come to me but the anger is still rising high. Her eyes cut away from me and she heads down the hallway, making another round of tears fall from my already sore eyes.
I get up off the couch and go down to my room. I lock the door, close the blinds, and get changed into my pajamas.
Fuck the test. I’ll catch up or do extra credit, besides, if I go now, there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to concentrate, not after the way Nate let loose on me. I completely deserved it, but he’s never yelled at me like that before. I mean, we’ve had plenty of arguments over stupid shit, but nothing ever like this. Just thinking about it has me pulling the blankets up tight around my body, hoping to keep myself from breaking down.
I just… I need him to come home and tell me it’s all ok. Tell me that he understands why I kept it from him and that he forgives me. I need him to take this torment inside my mind away. I need this to be ok.
I don’t emerge from my room for the whole afternoon, I don’t study, and I sure as hell don’t bother checking in with Nate. I don’t respond to texts from Jesse and I don’t try talking to Brooke like I have every other day.
It’s dark outside and I start to wonder if Nate is coming back here tonight or if he’s still too pissed off to bother. Maybe he’ll go back home and… no, he wouldn’t, not with the threat of Lukas possibly coming over. Nate will be here and he’ll be moody as all hell.
Shit, he can sleep out on the couch if that’s the case.
My door handle wiggles before whoever on the other side realizes it’s locked. A low sigh follows by the sound of someone trying to pick it. Yeah, definitely Nate. Brooke would have just given up. Hell, she wouldn’t have tried at all.
Ha, let Nate try. It’s locked and there’s no way he’s getting in.
The door flies open and my mouth hangs open. How the hell did he learn how to pick a lock? More importantly, what the hell is about to go down here?
I wriggle back up the bed until I’m sitting as Nate walks across the room and leans against the opposite wall, just watching me. His hands and clothes are covered in grease and oil from working on the cars, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“Do you hate me?” I murmur into the too quiet room.
His eyes never leave mine as he slowly shakes his head.
“Are we ok?”
Again, he shakes his head, splitting my heart in two, right down the center. “You should have told me,” is all he says.
I hang my head as the tears slowly begin again. “I know.”
“He could have hurt you.”
“I know.”
Nate closes his eyes and walks forward. He doesn’t touch me and I don’t know if that’s because he’s still too angry with me or because he doesn’t want to get my room dirty. “I don’t need you to protect me, Tora. You should know that when it comes to you, I’m going to do anything and everything it takes to keep you safe and I don’t give a shit if that means losing everything or going away. I can rebuild what I’ve already started, but there’s only one of you and I’ll be damned if I ever let anything happen to you.”
My eyes catch his and I find that I don’t know what to say, but nothing needs to be said. He knows I feel him and he knows I’m hurting.
Without another word on the topic, Nate holds out his hand to me. “Come on,” he says. “I need to shower.”
I take his hand, despite the grease covering his fingers. I need his touch more than anything, and right now, just having his fingers woven through mine isn’t enough. I need to feel him close. I need his skin against mine.
We get halfway up the hallway when Brooke throws her door open. She rushes out into the hallway with wide, frantic eyes. I assume she’s about to come and yell at me for something, but when she jams her finger into Nate’s chest, my eyes widen in surprise. “Why’d you do it?” she demands, getting in his face. “He didn’t do anything to you.”
“What are you talking about?” Nate questions with a snap, not really in the mood to be interrogated by my best friend, especially one who hasn’t been acting like a friend at all.
“Lukas,” she demands. “He was jumped today and I know it was you.”
“I didn’t do shit,” he growls. “I was in class all morning and then working in the shop.”
“Bullshit,” she yells at him. “It was you. I knew something like this would happen the second Tora started accusing him of messing around.”
I push past Nate and get in her face. “I’m not lying,” I yell at her. “Your boyfriend is a scumbag and you’re an idiot for not seeing it. He deserved to be jumped, but it wasn’t Nate.”
She ignores me and steps back to Nate. “Show me your hands.”
“What?” he scoffs as I push her away from him.
“Show me them,” she yells.
Nate groans and holds up his hands for her to see. They’re filthy, but there isn’t a single sign of a fight. Her eyes study his hands as though they hold the secrets to the world. She looks confused and unsure as she takes a few steps backward.
“Now,” I tell her, taking another step to get to the bathroom. I push open the door and look back at her. “If you’re finished interrogating my boyfriend, then leave us the hell alone. Lukas most likely fooled around with the wrong girl and got the shit beat out of him by her boyfriend. Congratulations, Brooke. You sure know how to pick ‘em.”
I walk into the bathroom and Nate follows, closing the door behind him as we hear the sound of Brooke out in the main part of the house before the front door slams closed, telling me she’s most likely gone to visit her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend.
I collapse down onto the side of the bath. How did my day become this awful? I’m supposed to be making things better with Brooke.
Nate starts pulling off his grease stained clothes before he walks over to me. I’m not particularly in the mood to shower right now, not like I was a few minutes ago, but Nate has other plans. He reaches for my pajama top and starts pulling it up over my head. I help him get it off before I stand up and lose my pants.
We step into the warm stream of the shower, barely touching. I look up at him to find his eyes already on mine. “Did you do it?” I question, desperately needing to know.
He shakes his head. “No,” he tells me, reaching out and curling his fingers around my waist before pulling me in. “I had my mind stuck on a different dickhead.”
I nod and rest my head against his chest. “Ok.”
Nate’s fingers find my chin and he lifts until our eyes connect. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs as the water cascades down over our bodies. “I should have handled today different.”
I nod, completely agreeing with him. “Yeah, you should have, but I should have told you before it got to that point. We were both wrong.”
“I want you out of that class.”
“I thought that much,” I tell him. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Relief shines through his eyes, but it’s not much. It’s a small win with a massive loss. “How was your test?”
My eyes cut back to his chest as I shake my head. “I didn’t go.”
He lets out a heavy sigh, filled with disappointment, and instead of cursing me out like he usually would, he just takes the soap and starts cleaning off the grease before holding me close. “Come on,” he says as he turns off the taps. “Let me get you some dinner and take you to bed.”
I smile up at him as I let him pull me out of the shower. I’ve never heard of anything so good in my life.
Chapter 12
Out of all the days I’ve suffered through over the past year, today is that day that can go and suck my balls. You know, if I had any. Today has been awful. I mean, I’ve suffered through all sorts of shit. Fire? Check. Excruciating heartache? Check. Broken bone and appendicitis? Check. Not to mention, I’ve stood by and watched my boyfriend flip his car three times before coming to a devastating stop, and with all that, nothing sucks more than today, though, it’s a different kind of suck.
I have spent my whole morning trying to rearrange my schedule at the student office, but with all the classes I’ve been taking. It wasn’t easy. At all. To put it mildly – it fucking sucked. After suffering through that for nearly two hours, I spent the next hour in with my History professor trying to convince him that I deserve a chance to take the test which I skipped out on yesterday, but apparently, after an hour of discussion, I got myself nowhere. A big fat NO.
Some criminal lawyer I’ll make. I can’t even convince an old guy in a suit to give me a second chance. I guess I have no other choice but to take that one on the chin. After all, to him, I’m a nobody. Why should he give a shit about some random girl who had something better to do than turn up to the test that she had plenty of warning about? This one is on me and I deserve it. He at least is going to think about giving me extra credit work to make up for it. You know, if I can somehow prove that I deserve it.
I mean, I knew college was going to be difficult, but never in a million years did I expect it to exhaust me the way it does. Especially after dealing with all that crap this morning and going to my afternoon lecture. I now have a killer headache and a shitload of studying to do.
Why did I have to go and prove a point to myself and take on so much work? This is killing me. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and stay there for the next seven years, hoping I can wake up at the end with my Harvard Law Diploma in my hand and skip through all the in between bullshit.
I guess my only saving grace is knowing that Nate will be home when he finishes work. I’m kind of hoping he’s already there as I want nothing more than to fall down into his arms and go straight to sleep, but I haven’t had that kind of luck today. Besides, he’s been so excited about his projects that he’s been working like crazy on them. I don’t doubt they’ll be done soon and then he’ll be looking for the next one, and then the next.
I love his dedication. It’s so damn sexy.
He’s been living with me for only a few days and so far, I’m loving it. It’s not like it’s a big difference from what we were doing before. We were already together every night and waking up in each other’s arms. We’d go off to college or Nate would go to work, then come night, we’d do it all again. But knowing in my heart that it’s official, that we're moving forward to the next step of our lives is something that has my heart so full of love. It’s a feeling I never want to lose.
I pull up at home and it must be well past seven o’clock at night. I’ve spent the last few hours in the library trying to get through as much work as possible, not wanting to come home and think about Brooke and her jackass boyfriend in the next room. The only reason I gave in and came home was that too many people were in the library and my stomach was starting to grumble. Having no painkillers in my bag might have also contributed to that.
I sit in my car and look around the street with a groan. Jesse’s car is here, Brooke’s car is here, Jackson’s car is here, and so is Puck’s. Great. Just fucking great.
I open my car door and I instantly hear the loud thumping coming from the speakers within my home. There aren’t people spilling out onto the street, but if Jesse has invited people over for a party in my home, I’m going to fucking kill him. Any day but today.
With each step I take toward my front door, the angrier I get. Maybe it’s the headache wanting to turn into a migraine, or maybe it’s all the bullshit from the last few days wanting to catch up with me. Whatever it is, I’m a bomb ready to explode.
I slam my way through my front door to hear a chorus of uninvited people yelling out my name, holding up beers with their feet all over my expensive coffee table.
Fuck no. Not tonight.
Jesse jumps up and launches himself over the back of the couch, clearly in a very good mood. Unfortunately for him, I’m not. “Hey, hey,” he grins, jogging up to me. I see it in his eyes that he’s ready to throw me over his shoulder and throw me into the middle of the party.
I step back from him with my hand out, halting his advance. “What the fuck is all this?” I question as Brooke looks back over her shoulder to scrunch her face up at me. I know I was originally trying to be the bigger person in all this because she was upset and in denial, but fuck that. After she accused Nate of beating up Lukas and has treated me like shit in my own home, I scrunch my face right back at her. That bitch.
“Woah,” Jesse laughs, stepping into me and throwing his heavy arm over my shoulder. “What crawled up your ass?”
“Don’t,” I warn him, shrugging off his arm and walking into the house. Jesse follows me in as I dump my shit down on the table. “I’m not in the mood.”
Jess grabs me and tugs me towards the couch. “Come on,” he tells me. “Get yourself a drink and relax. You’re so wound up.”
“Don’t,” I snap, ripping my arm out of his hold and making every eye in the room turn my way. “What are you even doing here?”
“We came to chill out with you. You’re always so busy with school work. I thought you could use some friends,” he says, looking back over his shoulder at the room full of people. I mean, I know I only saw the three cars outside, but all those cars seem to have been filled to the brim. There are way too many people sitting in my living room right now.
“I don’t want to chill,” I snap again. “I’m sorry, Jess, but I want to be left the fuck alone. I’ve got shit to get done.”
“It’s fine,” he laughs. “We’re going to order pizza.”
“Jesse, stop,” I demand with a loud groan as the headache really starts to pound against my temples. “You’re not ordering anything. This is my home, not a fucking frat house. You can’t just come over and have a party whenever the hell you want.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he questions, hating being called on his bullshit in front of a room full of people. “Brooke said it was cool if we chill.”
“Yeah, whatever. Stay if you want,” I say with a sigh, giving up. “I’ll study in my room instead. Just turn the music down.”
Jesse watches me for a second as I turn back and grab my bag off the table. As I go to make my way down the hall, I can’t help but look up at him and see hurt beneath his eyes, instantly making me feel like shit. “Are you serious, right now?” he grunts.
Great. I’m a fucking bitch now too. “Yes,” I sigh. “I’ve had a fucking shitty day and I just need quiet.”
Jess shakes his head as though he’s disappointed with me before turning back to the group. “Yo,” he says, addressing everyone. “Let’s bounce. McKellar’s having a party.”
With that, Jesse walks straight out the door, not looking back for a single second as the group of our friends follow behind him.
I walk to the door as Brooke watches me from the couch with a scowl. “Jess?” I call after him. I watch him climb up into his Range Rover and slam the door closed without even raising his eyes to me, knowing he would have heard me loud and clear.
Broken Hill Havoc: The Broken Hill High Series (Book 5) Page 11
