by Force, Marie
“I don’t want you to pity me, Ellie. I would hate that.”
“Pity is the least of what I feel for you. I’m so damned proud of you for standing up to him when you were so young, for following your dream no matter what it cost you. Look at where that dream has taken you—to the very top of your profession.”
“And it’s brought me right here to you.”
“That, too. I’ll never touch you with anything other than love on my mind.”
Raising his head from my chest, he kisses away my tears. “Don’t cry for me, sweet Ellie.”
“Only happy tears from now on.” I keep my arms around him as he settles between my legs, his cock hard and hot against my core.
“Remember the project that brought us together in the first place?”
“How could I forget?”
“We’ve gotten a little sidetracked in the last couple of days, and I believe there was a schedule we were to keep to.”
“I’m feeling very sick and very fertile.”
“Mmm, I do so love when you talk dirty to me, darling.”
In keeping with the slow theme of the day, he enters me in teasing increments, going deep before retreating over and over again, leaving me desperate for more, which I suspect is his intention. The next time, I keep him from escaping by curling my legs around his hips.
Chuckling, he brushes his lips over mine. “It seems you’ve completely trapped me, my love.”
I smile up at him. “That was my evil plan all along.”
“I’ve never been so happy to be trapped in all my life.”
Epilogue
Jasper and I stand together in the bathroom, looking down upon the array of plastic sticks on the vanity. My heart is beating so hard and so fast that I fear I may hyperventilate. Per Dr. Breslow’s advice, we made ourselves wait until my period was officially a week late before we took the tests, and now that the moment is upon us, I can’t bear to look.
I close my eyes and say a silent prayer. I’ve waited too long to try to have a baby. It would’ve been easier when I was younger. But back then, I didn’t have Jasper standing by my side, his arm around my shoulders, the heat of his body warming the chill that’s taken me over as the fears multiply with every second it takes for the tests to do their thing.
I turn my face into his chest. “I can’t stand it.”
“My poor darling.” I want that voice to be the last thing I hear before I leave this life. “How could you not be pregnant with the effort we’ve put forth over the last few weeks?”
How could I not love a man who makes me laugh when I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been in my life? But that’s how it is with Jasper. He knows just what to say to me to calm my fears, soothe my hurts and set me on fire with the kind of desire I never knew existed until I had him.
We’re in Cornwall visiting his mother for a week, and we’ve had the best time exploring his childhood home, going on long hikes and having picnics in remote corners of the estate where we’ve made love outdoors more times than I can count. It’s been a peaceful, restful escape from the madness that overtook us in LA after our interview with Carolyn aired.
The revelations of Jasper’s pedigree, his new relationship with Flynn Godfrey’s sister and the timing of his father’s latest folly combined to set off a feeding frenzy during an otherwise slow news week. I now have a much better understanding of what Flynn deals with on a regular basis, although how he can stand it is a mystery to me.
Jasper suggested we escape to Cornwall, so here we are. I received the warmest possible welcome from his mother, and I’ve met two of his sisters and their families. I already feel right at home with the Kingsleys. We haven’t heard a word from Jasper’s father, and he’s said he doesn’t expect to hear from him, especially after he managed to lure Nathan away. It’s probably better if I don’t meet Henry, as I’d probably make one hell of a scene letting him know what I think of a man who would treat his own son the way he has treated Jasper. Greg Thompson turned over the original images and video from the clubs to Devon Black, who pressed charges against his former security chief.
We finally relaxed somewhat when Devon let us know that the images had been destroyed. We’re still trying to track down the private investigator who followed Jasper, and Gordon is making headway there, too. We won’t completely relax until all the images of Jasper in compromising situations have been located and destroyed.
“Let’s talk about something else while we wait,” Jasper suggests. “Such as the news from home about Aileen and the kids moving to LA. How about that?”
“I’m so glad they’re coming.”
“I’ve never heard Kris so excited about anything.”
“Do you have the scoop on how it came about?”
“He said that when Maddie and Logan cried when it was time to go home, Nat suggested that Aileen move to LA, and the kids begged her to do it. Hayden offered her the receptionist job that’s open at Quantum. Flynn promised to help her find a place to live, and Kris said he’d do whatever he could to help them get settled.”
“They put on the full-court press, huh?”
“They certainly did, and it worked. She’s letting the kids finish the school year in New York, and then they’ll be relocating.”
“Such great news.”
“Kris is crazy about her, not that he’ll admit it to me, but it’s obvious to anyone who knows him.”
“I’d say it’s quite mutual. She lights up in his presence.”
“I can’t wait to see what happens with them,” Jasper says. “You know who else lights up around a man?”
“Who?”
“Leah whenever Emmett is in the room.”
“That’d be an interesting pairing. She’d keep him on his toes.”
“Indeed, she would,” he says with a chuckle. “Shall we take a look, my love?”
I groan and press my face deeper into his chest. “You do it. I can’t.”
“We’re looking for two lines, right?”
“Muh-huh.” His shirt muffles my voice. I close my eyes as tight as I can and hold my breath.
“Darling… Take a look.”
“I can’t.”
“You’re going to want to see this.”
Still holding my breath, I turn slowly, preparing myself for any possibility. I open my eyes and blink the strips of plastic into focus. There’re double lines everywhere I look. “Oh my God! Oh my God, Jasper! We did it! We really did it!”
“We did it and we did it and we did it some more, and you’re thoroughly and completely preggers, my love.”
I bring both hands to my mouth, as if that could possibly contain the sob that erupts from the deepest part of me. We did it.
He holds me tight as the emotions tumble out of me in a mess of tears and sobs and probably some not-so-attractive snot. I’ve never been this happy. Ever.
Then he drops to his knees before me, and I gasp.
“My dear darling, Ellie, who gave me the courage to fight for the life I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife now that I’ve thoroughly and completely knocked you up?”
I’m laughing. I’m crying. I’m beside myself with joy as I nod and whisper, “Yes,” in response to his adorable proposal. Then he tops himself by sliding a purple pacifier on the third finger of my left hand, and I lose it all over again, realizing he planned this so perfectly.
He stands and gathers my soggy self into his arms. “Mother gave me my grandmother’s ring to give to you. I hope you love it, but if you don’t, we’ll get you one you do love.”
“That’s so lovely of your mum, but I don’t care about the ring. That doesn’t matter. This… Us… This is what matters.”
He tightens his hold on me. “I love you desperately, Estelle Godfrey Junior. Only you. Forever.”
“I love you, too, my lord.” I love to tease him by calling him that. “Thank you for making all my dreams come true.”
; “Trust me, my darling. It was entirely my pleasure.”
* * *
Keep reading for a sneak peek at Delirious, A Tame Quantum Novel, Aileen and Kristian’s story!
Delirious, A Tame Quantum Novel
CHAPTER 1
I counted the days. I can’t remember the last time I was so excited for something to happen that I counted the fucking days. I did that leading up to today, the day Aileen and her kids, Logan and Maddie, officially move to LA. I first met them in January when they came for Flynn and Natalie’s wedding. Before Natalie’s life blew up after she got together with Flynn, she was Logan’s teacher. Aileen was sick with breast cancer then, and Natalie was a good friend to her and her kids.
The first time I saw Aileen at the wedding, she was painfully thin with deep, dark circles under her eyes and the shortest hair I’d ever seen on a woman. I found out later that was because she’d lost her hair during chemo, and it had started to grow back. I remember wondering about the odd haircut and then feeling guilty when I found out why her hair was so short.
But the signs of her illness aren’t what I remember most about my friend’s wedding day. No, it was Aileen’s joyfulness that stood out. I’d never met a woman who had such incandescent light about her, even during what had to be some of the darkest and most difficult days of her life. She was, even in the throes of illness, so beautifully alive.
I was drawn to her like the proverbial moth to flame, and like a moth that doesn’t know enough not to fly directly into the heat, I was unable to resist talking to her, getting to know her and nurturing an immediate and unprecedented attraction. The heat of that attraction swallowed me whole, and I was powerless to walk away. I let the attraction grow and flourish into friendship over subsequent visits, including the one in which I helped to convince her that she and the kids ought to move from New York to LA to live near us. Hayden offered her a job at Quantum, and we all encouraged her to take the leap.
And then I counted the fucking days.
So, what am I doing sitting on the floor of the game room closet in my Hollywood penthouse apartment, ignoring one call after another from my business partners, who are also my closest friends and the only family I’ve ever had? They want to know where I am, if I’m all right and why I’m out of touch on a day we’ve all been looking forward to.
We have plans. Flynn and Nat are picking up Aileen and the kids at LAX while the rest of us—Jasper, Ellie, Hayden, Addie, Leah, Emmett, Marlowe, Sebastian and I are supposed to be waiting for them at the house Ellie used to call home in Venice Beach. Since she’s moved in with Jasper, Ellie is renting the house to Aileen. I’m sure the others are already there as the airport contingent is due home within the hour. Everyone is excited for them to get here.
We have surprises waiting for them. Two days ago, Natalie, Marlowe, Addie and Leah accepted the shipment from the company that moved Aileen’s stuff from New York. Flynn, Hayden and I spent an entire evening putting beds together while the women unpacked their kitchen stuff. Aileen thinks she has all that to contend with when she arrives, but when they walk into the house today, their things will be waiting for them along with a black Audi sedan in the driveway.
I check my watch to confirm the car is being delivered right about now. The car will be in the company’s name, but I bought it for her. I knew she’d never accept such an extravagant gift unless I billed it as a company car. I’m not sure why I felt the need to do such a thing, but I was at the dealership finalizing the purchase when it occurred to me that buying her a car might be too much too soon. By then it was too late to take it back, and besides, I didn’t want to. She needs a car, so I got her one.
Natalie stocked the kitchen with groceries and filled the house with vases full of Aileen’s favorite white hydrangeas.
Imagining her reaction to everything we’ve done has me yearning for something I simply have no right to. If she is an angel sent straight from heaven, I’m the devil himself in comparison.
I grew up mostly on the streets in the meanest part of Los Angeles, clawed my way into the film business, catching a couple of lucky breaks that brought me to where I am today. I’m one of Hollywood’s most influential and powerful producers, a partner in the Quantum Production Company with some of the biggest names in the business. I’m on top of the world—literally—in my penthouse apartment right in the heart of Hollywood, which is suddenly trendy again.
Despite my many successes, despite the Oscar and Golden Globe that sit on a shelf in my office at work, and despite the fortune I’ve accumulated through hard work and determination, I’m still the homeless, rootless boy I once was. Crippled by fear, I’m sitting in the corner of a closet, ignoring calls and texts from the people closest to me and telling myself it’s the right thing to do.
I’m a piece of shit compared to her. The things I’ve done to survive and thrive in this harsh world would horrify her. I’m wealthy beyond my wildest dreams—and I had some fairly wild dreams as a kid running the wicked streets of LA—but all the money in the world can’t scrub the darkness from my soul.
I shudder in revulsion when I think about the things I did to stay alive. I don’t believe in regrets as a matter of principle. You can’t change the past, so why waste the present with regrets, or at least that’s always been my philosophy. But for the first time in my life, I wallow in a vast sea of regret. I wish I were someone different so I’d be good enough for a beautiful, unspoiled angel like her. Bile stings my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. I have to stay away from her and her precious children, even if everything inside me calls out for her, wishing I could let her fix what’s wrong with me, wishing she could be the one to chase away the darkness and fill me with her light.
She’s finally here. I could see her right now. All I’ve got to do is get up off the fucking floor, get in the car and point it toward Venice Beach. Everyone I care about is there. They’re looking for me, wondering where I am.
Moaning, I drop my head into my hands and rock back and forth as my phone rings again.
I can’t. I just can’t.
I’ve never been this excited about anything, except my babies, who are now nine and five and out of their minds with excitement. I couldn’t believe it when Flynn insisted on sending the Quantum jet to pick us up.
The Flynn Godfrey, who is now my friend. I still can’t believe that!
Even though he’s now happily married to one of my best friends, I have the biggest celebrity crush on him. I’ve seen every movie he’s ever been in at least five times. I’ve watched Camouflage a dozen or more times. He won the Oscar and every other major acting award for that film this year, and having met and spent time with him, I know firsthand that he’s as good of a person as he is an actor.
I’ll never forget the first day Natalie brought him to my apartment. That was last winter when I was so frightfully ill and fearful of what was going to become of me and my children. Then Flynn made a humongous donation to the fund that the kids’ school started for us, alleviating so many of my worries. Then he went a step further, hiring a housekeeper and nanny to help me with the kids. He single-handedly saved my life in every possible way, especially by getting me in to see the top breast cancer doctor in the city, who took over my care and made a few tweaks to my treatment program. Within weeks, I was feeling better than I had in a miserable year of surgery, chemo and radiation.
I’m not out of the woods yet. It’ll be years before I can consider myself “cured,” but I’m doing much better than I was, and I have Flynn to thank for that, too.
The entire Quantum team has become like family to the kids and me during our trips to LA for Flynn and Nat’s wedding and later for school vacation. They took us in and made us part of their tribe, and when they teasingly suggested we relocate, the kids begged me to do it. They love California and the people we’ve come to know there. With nothing much holding us in New York, they prevailed, and I agreed to the move, but only after they finished the school year.
School ended yesterday, and today we’re on the Quantum jet about to land in Los Angeles, our new home. If there’s one person among our new friends I’m looking forward to seeing more than anyone else, well, that’s my little secret.
I don’t know what you’d call the flirtation or whatever it is between Kristian and me, but it’s something, and I can’t wait to find out if it might turn into something more. It’s been years since I’ve dated anyone or been interested in a man, and I’ve never been attracted to anyone the way I am to him. He makes me feel so special by listening to every word I say like they’re the most important words he’s ever heard. The last time we were in LA, when we all stayed at his place in the city to avoid the reporters who’d swarmed around a scandal in Jasper’s family, Kristian and I sat on his patio and talked until four in the morning while everyone else was asleep.
With wavy dark hair, intense cobalt-blue eyes and sexy dimples that appear only when he’s truly happy or amused, he’s so gorgeous that I often find myself staring at him like a lovesick puppy.
I’m dying to see him again, to find out if the attraction is still there and to see what might come of it. I’ll never admit that he was one of the primary reasons I wanted to move here, but I’d be lying if I tried to deny it.
“How much longer, Mom?” Logan’s question interrupts my delightful thoughts of Kristian Bowen.
I check the time on my phone. “About twenty minutes.”
The kids are so excited to see our new home, to get settled and to spend the summer in LA. I’m starting my job at Quantum in two weeks, part-time for the summer while the kids attend camp and then full-time when they go back to school. I can’t believe I’m going to work for the company that produced Camouflage and counts among its partners Flynn Godfrey, Hayden Roth and Marlowe Sloane. Talk about being starstruck! And I haven’t even mentioned the other two Quantum partners, Jasper Autry and Kristian Bowen.
