by Danica Flynn
We were on the road for a game tomorrow night in Newark, but at least that meant I could sleep in my own bed tonight. I drove TJ and I back to our place and pretty much crashed as soon as I got into bed. I checked my phone for the first time since getting to the arena and saw Dinah had texted a few times since our conversation earlier today.
DINAH: Sorry, I couldn’t be there tonight.
DINAH: These edits are killing me, I think I need to rewrite this whole thing.
DINAH: YAY! I saw your assist. GET IT!
I smiled to myself, and looked up when TJ stepped into my doorway. “You have the dumbest grin on your face right now.”
I shook my head. “That’s just my face!”
He pointed at my phone. “That who I think it is?”
I nodded.
He shook his head. “I know I warned you about falling in love with her, but you already are, aren’t you?”
I ignored him and started typing out a response to Dinah. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bro, you’re hopeless!” He shook his head and walked away. I got up and shut my bedroom door. It was late, so I felt bad about texting her back, but I figured she wouldn’t see until the morning.
ME: NOOOOO don’t rewrite it! I’m almost done reading it, and I’m really enjoying it.
I saw three little dots appear so I knew she was typing.
DINAH:…really?
ME: Yes, really. Girl, you have to be confident in your writing!
Dinah was a mystery to me, she always came off as so sure of herself, but when you got to know her you saw that she didn’t really know what she was doing. Like the rest of us. It wasn’t until you really got to know her that you could see the cracks in her facade. Writing was her ultimate passion, so I think she was just extra hard on herself about it. I definitely understood that, as I was the same with hockey. I talked her off a ledge when she was editing her first book, and she had helped me in the past when I would think about that empty net goal I missed seven years ago in juniors. It’s always the missed goals that you remember.
It was crazy to me that she didn’t think she was good at writing. I wasn’t really her audience, but her books appealed to me because of the hockey in them. I think she thought men didn’t want to like love stories.
My phone buzzed in my hand again. I smiled at seeing her typing back.
DINAH: Your support means so much to me, I don’t think you really understand how much your opinion means to me.
ME: AW!
DINAH: SHUT UP
ME: HEY! Why are you up so late, don’t you have work tomorrow?
DINAH: Ugh, yes. ‘Night. Good luck with your games this weekend.
ME: Night!
I laid back on my bed with a sigh. I had never felt lonely before being alone in my bed, but having spent the last two nights with Dinah at my side, it felt cold. I set my alarm, we had to be down the turnpike early tomorrow for morning skate, so I had better get to sleep as soon as possible. Of course, I had a hard time sleeping and ended up finishing Dinah’s book before I could go to sleep. When I did fall asleep I just was tortured by dreams of taking Dinah in my arms and having my way with her multiple times. I had fallen deep into love with her, and I wasn’t sure I would ever come out of it.
Chapter Thirteen
DINAH
I spent the weekend working on edits, which no one ever really told me how much they fucking sucked before. Why did I want to be a writer? Noah had texted me his feedback about my book, and a lot of his issues with it were the same as my editor. So at least I had consistency. I got so busy, that I basically never left my apartment, and barely even ate dinner. Unless you counted bowls of pretzels as dinner, which I didn’t think really counted. I had kind of become a shell of a person after Jason died. He always made sure I ate, but now it was like I was just pretending to be an adult.
Since Frankie spilled to my nosy family, I had been skirting their calls and leaving them unread. So much so that when I got home from work on Tuesday night, I wasn’t that surprised to find Eddie loitering in our lobby, much to the chagrin of the management. I was annoyed to see him here, but that was mostly because Noah and TJ were due back tonight and I wasn’t sure if Noah and I were going to see each other tonight. He had seemed really tired when we video chatted last night and when I hung up I realized with a pang that I really missed him when he was on the road.
Eddie smirked at me, and pulled me into a big hug. All of the Mezzanetti boys were on the tall side, so I think there must have been a mix-up in the factory when I was born. Eddie was barely a year older than me, so we were pretty close compared to Tony and Frankie. But it didn’t mean I was happy to see him. He was holding a pan of something and I cringed.
“Why are you here?” I groaned.
Eddie laughed and shoved the pan at me, his rose tattoo on his right wrist peeked out from his jacket sleeve. I sighed and took it, while I hit the up button on the elevator. The condo I lived in was super nice, but if it wasn’t for the fact that Jason had bought it outright with his inheritance money from his grandmother, I didn’t think I would still be living here. Especially now that I was the sole earner.
“From Frankie,” Eddie explained and nodded his head at the casserole dish. “He said you were on deadline and knew you would forget to eat.”
I might think Frankie was an overprotective asshat, but my oldest brother was such a caregiver. “Wow, could he ‘mom’ me even more?” I asked sarcastically.
Eddie laughed. “Probably? I think he actually does it because Mom tells him to.”
We both scoffed. Frankie was Mom’s favorite and she didn’t even try to deny it anymore. Everyone thought since I was the baby and only girl in the family that Mom just wanted her girl, but my dad was blunt enough to admit I was an oops baby. Thanks, Dad!
We stepped out of the elevator on my floor and I unlocked the door to my condo. Eddie kicked off his shoes and shed his jacket tossing it across my armchair. I took the casserole into my kitchen and peeled back the tinfoil to reveal the homemade lasagna.
“You want a plate?” I called into the living room to my brother.
“Nah, I’ve got plans!” he yelled back.
I heated up a plate for myself and came back into the living room with it. I tucked my feet underneath myself on my couch and dug into the lasagna. I moaned at the delicious food hitting my taste buds. My oldest brother was an amazing cook. It was why I always went to his sandwich shop when I needed to get out of the office.
Eddie didn’t say anything, just checked his phone and waited for me to start the conversation.
I swallowed a bit and looked over at him. He looked up in question, feeling my eyes on him. “So what’s up?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I just came to see if you were all right.”
“Fine, big brother,” I scoffed.
He smiled, and flipped his long bangs out of his face. “Okay really they wanted me to find out about you and the hockey boy.”
I rolled my eyes. “Knew it! You spy!”
He laughed. “You know I don’t care. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
“D, are you?”
I took another bite of my dinner. “Yes.”
“Noah’s treating you right?”
I sighed. “I’m not sure what we are yet.”
Recognition dawned in my brother’s eyes. “Oh. Did he tell you how he feels yet?”
“What? How did you know? Yeah, he basically left it all up to me.”
Eddie furrowed his brow. “Look, D, don’t be stupid. That man really loves you. I spent years fighting my sexuality, fighting who I was, don’t fight what’s happening between you and Noah just because you’re scared.”
I just stared at my brother for a long time. “I’m not scared,” I argued.
Eddie gave me a hard look. “Yeah, you are. You think that moving on is betraying your dead husband. Jason liked Noah a lot, Noah’s a good man and t
hat’s what makes it worse for you.”
I chewed softly. Fuck, how did Eddie know me so well? “Wait a second, you said he loves me?”
Eddie looked at me like he was talking to a child. “Duh! What man would come to the funeral of another woman’s husband, deal with our batshit insane family, and let her cry as much as she wanted on his shoulder?”
“Noah’s Canadian!” I argued. “He’s just really nice.”
Eddie put his head in his hands. “Oh my god, I thought Tony was the dumb sibling. Noah did all that shit because that man’s smitten with you and probably has been for a really long time. Probably even before Jason passed.”
I chewed my fingernail. That was a lot to process.
“He never tried anything when Jason was alive.”
“Of course he didn’t! He’s a good guy, not a home-wrecker.” Eddie put a tatted hand on my knee in comfort. “Hey you like this guy, right?”
I nodded.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“He’s a bit young for me, Frankie even said,” I admitted in a low voice.
“Oh, fuck, D! He was just teasing. I like Noah, he’s a good guy, you shouldn’t be worried about your dead husband if you really like him.”
“But—”
He cut me off, “Jason’s gone, worrying about if he would be okay with you moving on with a hunky hockey player will do neither of you any favors. I don’t want to see you lose something good.”
I put my empty plate on the coffee table and sighed. I felt a buzzing in my purse and pulled out my phone to see a text from Noah.
NOAH: Do I get to see you tonight?
I typed back to him quickly.
ME: Maybe…my brother Eddie came to check up on me.
I eyed my brother over my phone, but it seemed like our conversation was finally over. I set my phone down on the coffee table next to my empty plate. “How did the shop opening go?” I asked.
Eddie beamed at my question. Eddie wasn’t just tatted up for show. He was a tattoo artist and he and his partner Alex had just opened up a new place on South Street. I still didn’t know how they got such an amazing location. I touched the tiny quill tattoo on my wrist in remembering the one and only tattoo I let my brother give me.
“It went really well. Business is good. Thank god for Alex’s sister Veronica finding our receptionist or we might be fucked. You ever going to let me give you another one?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Nah, I’m good with my little quill. It suits me. How’s Alex?”
Eddie beamed even more. “Good, things are really good.”
“Eds, I’m really happy for you.”
He nodded. “You think I need to tell the family?”
I shrugged. “That’s your business. I’m so pissed at Frankie for telling you all I was out with Noah. It was our first date!”
Eddie hung his head. “Oh, sis, I’m sorry!”
I saw my phone light up some more. Eddie nodded at it. “That your man?”
I nodded and smiled, really liking the sound of that. Noah Kennedy being called “my man” made my heart and maybe also my girl parts sing. “Yeah, I think the team just got back.”
Eddie stood up and was shrugging his jacket back on. “I got to meet Alex for dinner. I think you should tell your hockey player that you like him too.” Eddie bent down to kiss my forehead. “Seriously, baby sis, don’t lose him.”
Eddie let himself out of my condo and I sat on the couch thinking about what he said. He was right, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still scared. Noah had laid all his cards on the table, so maybe I should give him a real chance at this thing. I put my plate away and changed out of my work clothes and into comfy leggings and a big t-shirt.
I walked back into my living room and texted Noah asking him if he wanted to come over. Within seconds there was a knock on my door. I smiled and opened it to him standing there looking casual in a Bulldogs t-shirt and athletic shorts. He looked so boyishly cute, and I loved it.
“Hi!” I greeted and he hugged me before pushing me inside and shutting my front door.
“Hey, yourself,” he breathed and bent down to kiss me. I pouted when the kiss ended too soon.
I disentangled myself from him. “Did you eat?” I asked.
“Actually no,” he admitted.
“Oh good! Eddie brought lasagna from Frankie, I’ll make you up a plate,” I told him and sprinted off into the kitchen. I grabbed two beers and sectioned off a big helping of the lasagna on a plate for Noah. I walked back into the living room and handed Noah his food.
He thanked me and I watched amused as he scarfed down the big helping I had given him. He was a hockey player, maybe he needed to eat more? I took a sip of my beer. “There’s more if you want,” I offered.
He smiled as he damn near licked the plate. “This is good. Damn, your brother’s a good cook.”
I laughed. “Which is why I go to his shop on my lunch break, even if he’s a nosy fucker.”
He set his plate down and took my hand in his. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. “I missed you. Tell me about your week.”
I was pretty sure I melted into the couch right then and there. “Tell me about your games.”
“You first.”
“No!” I exclaimed with a laugh. “Tell me if you’re okay after taking that hit last night.”
He ran a hand through his long hair and shrugged. “I’m fine, like I told you last night. Hey, so I did want to ask, do you want to come to the game tomorrow?”
“You want me to come?”
His thumb was rubbing across the pad of my hand. “Definitely.”
I nodded. “Then I definitely want to be there.”
“Now tell me about your day and how the editing’s going,” he insisted and I did, but I couldn’t sum up the courage yet to tell him how I felt about him.
“Whoa! Look who’s here!” Mia announced as I slunk into the seat next to her with a beer in my hand. She rushed over to give me a hug. I always liked Mia, she was sweet, and at least she didn’t make me feel like a complete outsider.
“Hi, Mia,” I greeted with a smile. I had somehow managed to get down here in time to see the puck drop. I took SEPTA because I was just not dealing with the nightmare traffic.
I hugged her back and tried not to spill the beer all down her back. Brianna Girard was sitting down in one of the seats and she gave me a small wave. I waved back.
“Oh my god! So, I didn’t know you were a writer!” Mia squealed.
I took a sip of my beer, I was pretty sure I had mentioned it before. “Oh?”
“Yeah, my sister really loved your first book.”
“Oh, really?” I asked perking up.
Mia nodded. “I love YA! The love story you wrote was so cute.”
“Mia, that means a lot to me, thanks. Hey, if she wants a signed copy, I can get you one.”
Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “Really? That would be awesome.”
“Yes, really,” I said with a smile.
I was still a newbie writer, so if I had a fan in Mia’s sister, I wanted to keep that fan. Last night, Noah and I had recapped our time away and cuddled in my bed until he fell asleep. I had been slightly disappointed because I wanted to tear his clothes off as soon as he walked in, but I knew traveling could be exhausting. Also it gave me the chance to sneak away to work on my edits. Noah pried me away from my desk around midnight just so I could get some sleep. I was waist-deep in rewriting a huge chunk of the novel, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through it. I had been bouncing it off with my writer support group, and they had been super helpful, but I guess I needed to take a night off.
I looked down on the ice and watched the guys. Our team wasn’t aggressive enough, they were slow on the forecheck, not getting enough shots on goal, and there were way too many turnovers in the neutral zone. I chewed on my bottom lip. I watched in horror as a second goal slipped past Metz, and the feeling on the bench was not good. Noah
had his head in his hands sitting on the bench. This was not good.
Mia and I shared a worried look. I gulped down my beer while the horn sounded ending the first period 2-0.
“So…” Mia started, while I watched the mites on ice. Baby hockey players, how cute!
“So what?” I asked, but I had a feeling I knew where this was going.
She smirked at me, and next to her Lacey, Metzy’s girlfriend, had perked up. “Oh?” Lacey asked. Her golden-brown eyes twinkled. She pushed her black braids behind her shoulder and ran a hand down her brown cheek. “Wait, are you like THE Dinah?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what?”
Lacey glanced over at Mia and then at Brianna, who was cutting her hand across her neck. I glared. “What in the actual fuck?” I exclaimed.
“Uh, wait, do you not know?” Lacey asked.
“Know what?”
“Oh, girlfriend, Noah’s in love with you,” Mia admitted.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
Mia turned to Brianna who just shrugged. “Apparently he talks about you a lot. You should really just talk to him.”
I didn’t know what to think about that. Wasn’t it exactly what Eddie had said to me last night? It was true that my favorite part of my day was hearing from him, and I couldn’t help the smile spreading across my face whenever a text message from him lit up on my phone. I knew I had feelings for him, but Eddie was right, I was just afraid. I pushed the thought to the side as the second period got underway. I tried to focus on the game, but all I could think about was the way Noah looked at me, and how it felt when he kissed me.
But I didn’t miss when he scored the game winning goal with TJ getting the apple.
“Come on,” Brianna urged. “Let’s go get a drink. The boys will be a while with press and everything.”
I checked the time on my phone. It was just after ten, and I had work in the morning, but I was debating if I could just work from home tomorrow. I wanted, no, I needed to see Noah again tonight. I wanted to really pay close attention to the way he looked at me when he saw me.
