by Danica Flynn
TJ shook his head, but ran his hands down his face. “Nah, we have an afternoon game tomorrow, I should get to bed. Thanks for listening to me.”
I hugged him. “Hey, you know anytime.”
He nodded and stood up. Noah stood up with him, but then he bent over and gave me a quick kiss. “I’m going to go sleep in my own bed tonight,” he explained.
I pouted, but I knew he needed to be refreshed for his game tomorrow, and if he slept over tonight I wasn’t going to let him get a lot of sleep. “Good luck tomorrow!” I told him.
He smiled. “Finish your edits.”
“Text me when you get back, okay?” I asked.
He nodded and walked out the door with TJ. I stood up to lock the door behind them. I sat down back on my couch and shot off a text to TJ’s twin sister, Rox.
ME: Hey…any chance you have spoken to your other half?
ROX: Lisa??
ROX: She broke up with me.
ME: WAIT…What? CALL ME!
Within seconds my phone was ringing with Rox’s name on the screen. “Are you okay?” I asked her.
She sighed on the other end. “Not sure, D, she cheated on me.”
Rox sounded so dejected. I wasn’t that close with TJ’s sister, but we talked here and there. She was one of the coolest chicks I knew, so fearless. She didn’t visit a lot, but that’s mostly because her and Benny hate each other and there was so much drama with them. Although, I really suspected it was just both of them trying to deny their feelings. I think Benny had a thing for her, and he said all the wrong things to her. Plus, I’ve noticed her checking him out when she thought no one was looking.
“Wait…” I trailed off. “Weren’t you living together?”
“Yup. She kicked me out,” she explained.
My heart ached for this woman. Rox and her girlfriend had been together for three years and they had been best friends before that. That had got to hurt.
“Oh, Rox, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?” I asked.
“Nah. I’m couch surfing. Although...”
“What?”
She sighed. “I applied for a job with the team on a whim.”
“What team?”
“Dinah, with the Bulldogs. I doubt I’ll get it, but I kind of need to just get out of St. Catharines.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry to hear about that. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“I—” she cut herself off and I swore I heard her crying on the other end. “Thanks, D, that’s really nice, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. Now, were you talking about my brother when you meant my other half?”
I laughed at how quickly she changed the subject. “Yeah! Has he talked to you about Taylor?”
She scoffed on the other end. “Yes, he’s a dummy. My brother, love that douche to death, but he’s very afraid of getting hurt. His ex in high school put him through the wringer. I love Natalie, she’s one of my good friends now, but she wasn’t the nicest person in high school. I think Tristan’s still nursing some wounds from it.”
“Aw, poor guy,” I lamented.
She laughed. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”
I laughed. “You two are close, huh?”
“Can confirm. Don’t tell Noah, but I’m pretty sure I’m Tristan’s best friend.”
“That’s okay,” I told her, “I’m pretty sure I’m Noah’s best friend.”
“Speaking of which, you and Noah Kennedy, eh?” she teased.
“You know, all of you jerks could have told me he had a thing for me sooner!”
She laughed that throaty laugh of hers. “Well, where’s the fun in that?”
I hung up with Rox after a little bit, and more than anything I just wanted to turn my game console on and melt my brain with video games, but I felt like I needed to do something else. With a sigh I locked myself into my office and worked on edits until two in the morning.
Chapter Eighteen
NOAH
TJ laughed at me as we walked into our condo next door. “There’s no way you’re seriously going to withhold sex, right?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
He continued to laugh. “No man would ever do that.”
I went into our kitchen and grabbed a drink of water. TJ stood across the kitchen island giving me a funny look. “Oh, I have a feeling she’ll finish her edits by tomorrow,” I told him with a grin.
He made a grossed out face. “File that under things I didn’t need to know about our neighbor.”
I gave him a quizzical look. “This from the guy who wanted to know what the sex was like.”
TJ shook his head. “I was just teasing you. I’m not sure I want to know. Like what if you tell me D’s into whips and chains? I would never be able to look at her with a straight face again.”
I took a drink of my water, and then set it down on the island. I cocked an eyebrow at him in amusement. “Maybe she is. Nothing wrong with that.”
He blanched. “Nope! I don’t want to know!”
“So I thought you were done with Taylor?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe D’s right.”
“You know we can talk about these things right? I’m sorry if I’ve not been—”
He waved me away with his hand. “It’s fine. I just wanted to hear it from D, you know her being an older woman and all. Fuck, Roxie basically told me the same thing.”
I nodded at the mention of his twin sister. They were pretty close and talked after every game, especially if we lost. For a guy who came off as the fun-loving party guy, he was surprisingly co-dependent.
TJ leaned against the island and gave me a serious look now. “You think we’re going to make the playoffs?” he asked.
He looked as nervous as I felt whenever I thought about it. The team had been doing bad all season, but with a coaching firing, things had gotten shaken up and maybe, just maybe we could squeeze into the playoffs. I finished my water and put the empty glass in the sink. “I don’t know,” I admitted to him with a sigh. “It’s been a rough year.”
“But we’re on a hot streak,” he agreed, but he didn’t look that confident.
I nodded. “Have to take it game-by-game.”
He nodded in agreement. “D going to come tomorrow?”
I shook my head.
“Really? I figured you’d want your girlfriend cheering you on.”
“She has to finish edits on her book,” I explained.
TJ shook his head. “Man, you two are weird.”
He headed to his bedroom, and I trudged along into my own. I flopped my six-foot-two frame onto my bed with a sigh. It wasn’t the same not having a small woman cradled underneath my big arm. God, maybe she was right and I was whipped. The smile spread across my face. I didn’t care if I was whipped, I knew that being with her made me happy.
I couldn’t help myself by pulling out my phone and texting her.
ME: I miss you already
DINAH: Aw!
DINAH: What has it been like five whole minutes? I literally live next door.
ME: Work on your book!
DINAH: Oh yeah, what will I get if I do?
ME: You know.
DINAH: use your words.
ME: I prefer to use my tongue.
DINAH: OH MY GOD! Noah Kennedy, who knew you were such a dirty boy?
ME: You did! And you love it.
DINAH: Fuck yeah I do!
DINAH: Go to bed, good luck tomorrow.
ME: Thanks. Good night!
I put my phone down on my nightstand and plugged it in, making sure my alarm was set. TJ would have probably barged in tomorrow even if I slept through my alarm. It was nice to have my teammate as my roommate, because we were always backing each other up. TJ was my bud, and I knew no matter what he would always have my back, just like I would always have his.
I drifted off to sleep thinking about Dinah and how happy she made me. Before I knew it, my alarm was blaring in my ear and it was time to ge
t ready for work.
TJ came into the open door when I had finished getting dressed for our morning skate. “You almost ready?” he asked.
I pushed a chunk of my hair behind my ear and nodded. “Yeah, bud. I’m good.”
“You want me to drive?” he asked, holding up his keys.
“I can,” I offered.
We walked out together and down to my car in the underground parking garage in our complex. I got into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “You planning to go out after the game?” I asked TJ as I left our complex and headed to the arena.
“Nah. Think Riley and Hallsy might come over, have some drinks.”
“I’d be down with that. What’s Benny up to?”
TJ rolled his eyes. “Back with Stephanie again. Who knows, he might show up.”
I sighed. Benny had been going out with this girl all season, she was sweet and they looked happy but Benny said he didn’t ever want to get married, and she seemed like the type who was ready to settle down and have kids. I think they just wanted different things, which was a bummer, but it’s hard when you and your partner just weren’t on the same page. I wondered if it was a conversation that Dinah and I should have, but I thought it was too early to be having those conversations. Plus, I knew even if things went well between us and down the line we decided to settle down with each other permanently, kids were not on the table for us. At least not biologically, and I didn’t want to bring that up with her. I was there that night when the doctors told her she probably couldn’t have children, and I hugged her while she cried about it.
Fuck, to lose your spouse and then find out you lost the only piece left of him weeks later, it had been rough for her. I partly wondered if doing this thing with her was right. Part of me wondered if when she kissed me was she thinking of him. Fuck, that made me feel like a complete asshole.
I was kind of pumped for the game today, but still really nervous. This season hadn’t been the best, but with the new system and the new coach, we were on a hot streak. Home games were always fun, but also extra nervous for me because I wanted to play my best, and wanted to give our cheering fans what they craved — a win. We needed a win for sure. Afternoon games were also fun, because then you had the rest of the night to yourself.
“So, things serious between you and Dinah?” TJ asked as we turned onto Broad Street.
I scratched the bridge of my nose and shrugged. “I want them to be. We agreed to date.”
“Kens, I know you love her and have for a while, but just…” he trailed off.
“What?”
He sighed. “I love both of you, but Dinah’s older, she’s been through a lot. You’re the first guy she’s dated since her husband, don’t expect her to fall in love with you immediately.”
“Okay…”
“I know you were talking about her last night when you were talking about what love’s like.”
Shit. He had noticed that? Which meant maybe Dinah did too, but I hadn’t noticed her feel uncomfortable, if anything she seemed to smile warmly at me when I said it.
I bit my lip. “You think she noticed?”
I pulled into the private parking lot for the players. “Not sure. I just don’t want you to get hurt,” TJ warned. For all the talk of TJ being the fun, party guy without a care in the world, sometimes he was surprisingly honest about how he worried about his friends.
“Aw, T, you really do have feelings!” I teased.
He punched me in the arm. “Don’t tell anyone! Come on, let’s go win this thing!”
At least that I could agree with him on.
I sat on the bench in the dressing room with my earbuds in and my eyes closed. I didn’t have a lot of weird rituals like other players, I mostly just had to put on all my gear in a certain order — socks, shin pads, pants, shoulders pads, elbow pads, and then my jersey. The only other thing I did to get myself in the zone was listen to music and shut out all my teammates. TJ was convinced that as soon as I put my earbuds in I didn’t talk to anyone, and if that was true, I never really did it on purpose. I usually didn’t check my phone that much before or during games, but I wanted to see if I heard from Dinah.
DINAH: Good luck today, I’ll be rooting for you
ME: Thanks, Lovey. Good luck writing today.
DINAH: Ugh don’t remind me, this is going terribly already.
I smiled to myself and put my phone back in my cubby hole. When I looked up Girard who was sitting across from me at his spot gave me a cursory look. “You never check your phone before a game,” he commented.
I shrugged, but TJ slapped me on the back and announced. “My man’s lovesick!”
I shoved him away, but I was smiling. “I’m not!
Girard smirked. “Still?”
I laced up my skates and just shrugged my shoulders. I stood up and followed TJ down the tunnel. The music was loud and I heard the sounds of cheering coming from all the fans in the arena today. It felt good to hear that, and I felt pretty good about today’s game. I hopped onto the ice, flying across it on my skates around the zone, laughing at some joke Hallsy made. Metzy was stretching out on the ice, talking to the Pittsburgh Miners’ goaltender about something. I did a few practice shots at the net, feeling good at hearing the thwack of the puck against the netting.
I was on the starting line tonight, and I fist-bumped the flag bearer who was standing next to me during the National Anthem. He seemed a little star-struck. It was so weird to me, because it wasn’t like I was that much older than him. I mean, yeah, it was a lot of years, but I was still a young kid in this league. I still had a lot of playing on the ice. It made me wonder if one day Dinah was going to wake up and realize just what an immature kid I was and dump me. I hoped she didn’t think I thought she was too old for me, because none of that shit had ever mattered to me.
Girard started it off by taking the face-off at center ice, but he lost and the puck was turned over in the neutral zone. I pumped my legs chasing after the Pittsburgh left-winger who was heading into our offensive zone and straight for Metzy’s five-hole. I slammed the winger with the puck into the boards and tried to swipe the puck from underneath his skates. His teammate swiped it from me and tried to get the one-timer in, but luckily for me TJ was always on my line and knocked the puck back into the neutral zone. I chased after the puck to get to the blue line and TJ passed it to me so we could head into Pittsburgh’s zone. I didn’t think, I just did, and I swung my arm back with my stick and lobbed the puck into the back of their net.
I raised my arms in cheer, hearing the roar of the crowd and the goal horn blaring. TJ skated over to me and gave me a big hug, while Girard clapped me on the back. Out of breath, and my chest heaving, I skated over to the bench and climbed over it in a lazy fashion. I slid down on the bench as the next set of players were changing up the shift. TJ handed me some smelling salts which I took with a hard shake of my head. He laughed and I felt our assistant coach tap me on the helmet. I chewed on my mouth guard while I watched the action on the ice.
The Pittsburgh Miners kind of sucked this year, but we didn’t really have room to talk as our team wasn’t doing too well this year either. I had asked Dinah once if she thought we could get it together to make the playoffs. She had only laughed and said I didn’t want to hear her answer. She was probably right.
TJ nudged me, and I realized we were back on the ice together. Fuck, I needed to get my head in the game and not think about my sexy writer girlfriend. I took the face-off but got kicked out for going too soon, so Hallsy stepped into the circle. We kept possession of the puck, and we were getting good shots at the time but Pittsburgh’s net minder was a brick wall tonight. It was like he saw me out on the ice again and closed up shop. We chipped away at the puck and tried our best to get another goal, but then Hallsy iced the puck and we were back in our zone.
I saw one of Pittsburgh’s players get a clean shot off the net, so I dove to block it and fell hard on the ice. Out of the corner of my ey
e, I saw the black puck at the side of my head, and then for just a second everything went black.
I heard TJ and the team’s physician Doctor Franklin calling my name and asking me if I could get up. The right side of my head was pounding and Doc was holding a towel against it. I smelled the metallic, coppery scent of blood, and it took me a while to realize it was my own. TJ was asking if I could get up, I nodded and struggled to get off the ice. He and the doctor helped me skate over to the tunnel while I held the now bloodied rag on my head. TJ went back to the bench, while Doctor Franklin urged me back to the dressing room so he could assess the damage. I was in pain, but I didn’t feel like the wind got knocked out of me, but they probably wanted to check on concussion syndrome.
I sat on the medic bench while the doctor tended to my wounds. “Is it bad?” I asked.
He inspected me. “I think you’ll live.”
“Har har har,” I spat.
He started pulling out some stitches from his kit and pulled at the cartilage on my ear. “Looks like it’s just your ear, it bled a lot, but I think you’re okay.”
“Can I go back in?”
He frowned. “I want to keep you here for a bit, just to make sure you’re good. What’s your pain level?”
I chewed my bottom lip. That was a good question, because I honestly didn’t know, also as a hockey player, I had a high tolerance for pain.
“Kennedy,” he warned. “We want to make sure you don’t have a concussion. You took a flying puck to the face.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything while he started stitching up my ear. This sucked big time. My head did hurt a lot, but I wasn’t sure if that meant concussion or just the fact that I got hit with a flying piece of rubber at a high speed. When he was done he told me to sit tight for a bit. I heard the sound of the first intermission starting and my teammates coming back into the dressing room. I wanted to know what the score of the game was, I wanted to know if I had blocked that shot, because if those fuckers actually scored a goal, I was going to be pissed.
