by Linda Hogan
My heart was beating hard, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was scared. This woman was clearly psychotic and needed to be stopped. I played Terry the tape and told him I was going to hire a private investigator. It was time to get to the bottom of this. I told him that if he was innocent in this situation, then he should come to the investigator with me. Terry told me that he wasn’t going to go with me to the investigator, but encouraged me to do so. It angered me that he wouldn’t come with me. What was there to hide? Tampa was a small town and Terry had known everyone there since he was young. Word travels fast, and he didn’t want to be embarrassed by anything or for rumors to start about trouble at home, especially if they were false rumors.
I found an investigator myself. I took all of the postcards and the tape to my meeting with him. He assured me that he was going to get busy on it and put an end to it. I was relieved. I paid him $2,500 on my Visa card, hoping for someone to help me.
Two weeks went by and I didn’t hear anything from him. Then, three weeks. I called the office and the investigator said that he hadn’t discovered anything yet. In the meantime, I was still receiving more postcards from the crazy bitch in the Netherlands. I told Terry the investigator hadn’t found anything out yet.
I decided to go back to the investigator’s office in person, but it was closed down. I found out that he had relocated to north Tampa. I got his new phone number and told him I was going to drive to his office to pick up the tape and postcards because I was firing him. He said that was going to be hard to do because he lost everything during the move.
I felt my jaw drop. Something was very wrong. It all spelled foul play to me. I can’t describe how devastated I felt. I couldn’t even drive. I remember stopping in the parking lot of the West Shore Mall in Tampa to try to collect myself. I pulled into a spot and started crying and shaking.
I came home and told Terry that the investigator said he lost all of the tapes and I didn’t believe him. I said, “You need to call this guy right now!”
“I’m not calling him,” Terry responded.
Terry had been so supportive and encouraging when I first wanted to hire an investigator, but now he didn’t want to help me get my stuff back? There was no continuity to his actions or intentions, and my anger knew no bounds. I just felt like I was being fed a line of bullshit. I was so confused. I didn’t know fact from fiction. I wanted to believe Terry, so I decided to play investigator myself. I made Terry sit down with me and compare the dates and cities when the woman said she saw him against the dates and cities he had listed in his book. Some of it made sense and some of it didn’t. It took me to that insane level where it was hard to look at him or to function. He kept telling me that I was making a big deal out of nothing and that anyone can get his schedule off the TV. It was impossible to look for any clues.
I was working so hard on everything in my life, and now this? I was at my wit’s end. Breaking under the stress of my relationship and the pressure of owning a business and being a mom, I decided to close the restaurant. Also, the trust that had been built between Terry and me over the years was extremely fragile. Terry needed to be on his best behavior, and I tried to be tolerant and forgiving. I wanted to be the woman behind the man, but I was questioning everything.
Chapter Eight
Going Through the Motions
DURING THE COUPLE OF YEARS LEADING UP TO THE reality show, Terry’s career was on a slower track. He was home all the time enjoying being a dad and not having to be on the road 24-7. He loved spending time with the kids and taking Nick to hockey or soccer games. Despite being as famous as he was, Terry would hang out on the sidelines with me and make conversation with the other parents. People were always warm and friendly to him, and he was the same way back. It was nice that my kids had both of their parents cheering them on.
My relationship with Terry at this point was becoming difficult, and it certainly wasn’t like a honeymoon. It was more like we were going through the motions. Our sex life was one of convenience for him. And for me, I had so much on my plate with running the household that by the end of the day I was exhausted from taking care of the never-ending flow of people, employees, and friends who were in our home on a daily basis (our housekeeper was part-time, which meant I cleaned up at the end of each day). I would crawl into bed and hit the sheets. I was dead tired, but I looked forward to time alone with my husband to try to reconnect.
Just because I was ready for bed and some snuggling didn’t mean Terry was. At eleven P.M. he’d head into his bathroom, turn the TV on, and start his beauty regime of showering and shaving his whole body. It seemed like we could never go to bed at the same time or get on the same schedule. He marched to the beat of his own drum. If Terry could have made some conversation with me or reached over and tenderly touched me and rubbed my shoulders, I probably would have been more responsive to him, but he always seemed so distant.
I was so used to his indifference that I just let it go. I never really spoke up for myself because I didn’t want to start a big argument in the middle of the night by saying things like “Shut off the TV. How about having a little conversation?” or “Do you even care what I did today?” If he couldn’t see that he wasn’t paying attention to me, it wasn’t worth starting a whole argument about it. I could never win, so I just sort of gave up. Then, he woke me up for sex after I had fallen asleep. Sometimes I just had to get back up and sleepwalk through it. It really confused me why he didn’t spend time with me when I was awake waiting for him. I was basically doing my wifely duties. It became unemotional, and we sort of functioned on that level for a while. I tried to keep it as civil as possible, and so did he. We just existed, together but separately. He never seemed like he wanted to talk about his personal feelings. He couldn’t look me in the eye. I just needed a little emotion from him but couldn’t get it. We became strangers to each other.
I wasn’t happy, and I made excuses for my life. Who exactly out there has a perfect marriage? I thought. I looked at it and began to rationalize to myself: I think deep down that my husband really loves me. I know he loves the kids, too. I know that he loves having us there for him. At that point, I just didn’t know how to change anything. Our backs weren’t up against the wall enough to where I was ready to either jump or lunge. We were focused on the kids, and that was really what our connection was at that time. I felt like we were still on the mend from his first infidelity, and in spite of everything I still wanted to try to make our family work. I was giving him a second chance!
Brooke and Nick were still going to Saint Cecilia’s Catholic School in Clearwater. We had a typical household where I would get up in the morning and make the kids breakfast and pack their lunches. We would race off in the Suburban and drop them off at school. Nick was involved in sports and Brooke was taking piano and singing and dancing lessons. I always tried to have the kids involved in after-school activities. When they came home, we’d do homework together. That was the kind of lifestyle we led.
Because we only had one girl and one boy, each child was treated like an only child. They each had individual love, individual hugs, individual time with us, and many kisses. We had two absolutely beautiful children, and they were raised with morals, values, a conscience, and love. They didn’t get everything they wanted, in spite of what most people think. They were good kids. They didn’t talk back. They had manners and knew how to behave. We took them everywhere with us—restaurants, airplanes, wrestling events, and red carpets. They were such good kids, so well adjusted and loved by their peers. We were proud of both of them.
We hated the thought of leaving them home with a babysitter or nanny, and I never sent them to camp for the summer because they liked being home with their parents and pets. Life was good.
My relationship with Brooke was wonderful, and it still is. I’m very close with my daughter. Brooke and I are completely open with each other, because I always wanted to be honest with her and prepare her as best I could for all the things
that happen in a young woman’s life. Growing up, Brooke asked me what it was like the first time having sex. And she asked me about the first time I got my period. I didn’t want things to be a surprise to her, so I was always straight up with her about everything (even my disappearing condom story from my teens that I mentioned earlier). I called Brooke “my little girlfriend” from the time she was a baby. She was my bud. Same with my Nick. I love having a son! He has always been such a beam of light in my life. He’s always happy and in a good mood. He’s respectful of both of his parents. He got extremely good grades and has always been popular and had a lot of friends. When people meet Nick, they instantly love him! He’s athletic, good-natured and he’s just always been a good kid. Sometimes I would miss my kids so much I would pick them up early from school and we’d go shopping. Or we’d just come home and cook and watch TV.
I had kids to have kids. Next thing you know, they start preschool and then they’re with teachers all day. They’re gone! So I would use all of those sick days and keep them with me. If I could have, I would have had two more kids. I guess that’s why I had so many pets.
I’m not going to say pulling them out of school was the best thing to do, but both of my kids were very bright students and levelheaded. I didn’t think it would ruin them, especially considering their passions went beyond the traditional school curriculum. Human life experiences are so much more important than having perfect attendance at a school.
BROOKE HAD ALWAYS BEEN THE LITTLE ENTERTAINER AT THE house. It wasn’t just Terry, so I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. At two and a half years old, she could barely talk but was already reciting the words to nursery rhymes. She watched The Little Mermaid and The Wizard of Oz and she could memorize all of the words to those songs, singing them with perfect pitch. At only a few years old, she had a memory like a steel trap and still does. She would make everyone sit on the couch, then come down from her room wearing a twirly dress and perform one of the Disney numbers for all of us. Brooke had a natural ability at the piano as well. I thought it was cute, but I had no idea that it would turn into something that she would want to do for the rest of her life.
When she was fourteen years old, she expressed interest in singing. I was in our pool at our Willadel home floating around on a raft getting some sun when Brooke came outside and slammed the phone book down on the pool deck. “Mom, that’s it!” she exclaimed. “I want you to call someone for me because I want to get into acting, modeling, or singing.”
I lay there smiling to myself and thinking a simple phone book wouldn’t offer the answers. While many parents often try to get their children into acting or modeling, Terry and I never pressured our kids toward any type of career in that direction. But it wasn’t us pushing Brooke . . . it was Brooke pushing us. It was clear that she was determined and wanted her mother’s help.
“It’s Sunday and we can’t call anybody this afternoon,” I said. “Nobody will be at their offices.”
“No, Mom,” she shot back. “Call anyway because this is something I really have to do.”
I got out of the pool and turned to the modeling and talent sections of the phone book. I took a shot in the dark in the bright sunshine and left a few voice mails for people at various agencies. Whether they would return our calls or not, Brooke immediately felt better that I reached out and tried. She’s so cute.
Monday rolled around and I actually got some phone calls back. I guess that “Brooke knew best” even early on! One call was from an agency in Clearwater that teaches young girls how to do makeup and prepares them for photo shoots. Brooke met with a woman named Diane at the agency and they decided to work together.
Brooke’s interest in music quickly took center stage over the acting and modeling. She was inspired by all of the artists I love and listen to from my era: Toni Braxton, Teena Marie, Amy Grant, Carole King, Stevie Wonder, James Taylor, Luther Vandross, and Elton John. She started playing piano with me and also with a piano teacher at an early age. We knew that we had to get the right person involved so she wouldn’t lose interest in moving forward as she got older. She began working with a talented piano teacher named Theo who taught her the Alicia Keys and Norah Jones styles of piano and vocals. It was then that I realized Brooke could be the next star in our family.
Lights, Camera, Reaction
It’s been said that, “Truth is stranger than fiction.” That certainly proved to be the case for our family when we entered the world of reality television.
In 2004, VH1 approached us to do a one-hour special entitled Hulk Hogan: Stage Dad. Producers from the Florida-based production company Pink Sneakers came to our Willadel home for a meeting and explained the vibe of the show, which would entail Terry playing “stage dad” and helping Brooke with her music. Brooke was still working with Lou Pearlman in Orlando, and he realized that Brooke had huge potential. She was doing small concerts and actually working with a live band!
They felt this would be a great vehicle to help launch Brooke’s singing career as well as put Terry’s career back on the map. He was still wrestling now and then, but he had slowed down quite a bit due to hip and knee surgeries. It was probably a bigger draw just to see Hulk Hogan at home.
I think Brooke’s singing and dancing background came from me and her stage presence came from Terry. I would always have music playing in the house, and I sang and played the piano ever since the kids were small. At parties we had, I’d sing karaoke into the mic, and jump up on the coffee table and sing and dance. Brooke and Nick loved my outgoing style and my ability to have fun and not worry what other people thought. I really think that between their dad being a showman on TV and me being one at home, Brooke and Nick loved music and loved people! I took Brooke to lessons and the recording studio. What the heck, if the show would help the kids, then I was on board! We felt that with Terry’s recognition, we could help Brooke break into show biz, too. And with her musical ability VH1 was the perfect platform.
Camera crews filmed us for three months straight, mostly following Brooke closely on her career. Once shooting wrapped, our lives returned to just as they had been before. One morning, I was watching the news and the ticker message at the bottom of the screen said that Britney Spears had fired her longtime manager, Larry Rudolph. Although it was a long shot, I thought maybe he could help Brooke launch a career. I called Terry and he felt Rudolph was probably not interested in an unknown. But when I get a gut feeling like that, I fight for it. I knew what I had put into Brooke and what she was capable of doing. And I knew that if Larry Rudolph met Brooke, she could deliver. I had instilled confidence in her, which added to her talent and winning smile. So I had Terry make some calls, to get a hold of Larry Rudolph’s office. He returned our call that same day and, surprisingly, he said he would be very interested in helping Brooke. It was an exciting moment for the family and especially for Brooke. They ended up working together for a whole year, and Rudolph was very instrumental in her development as an artist. Things were moving forward in the right direction to record Brooke’s first album.
VH1 was extremely pumped up about the footage that was shot for the special. Hulk Hogan: Stage Dad aired and resulted in really high ratings. VH1 asked us to continue in our own reality series called Hogan Knows Best.
The producers and directors tried to find our unique personalities for the new show based on what we did on a daily basis and what our interests were. Brooke was the aspiring singer and Nick was the typical little brother. He portrayed a modern-day Dennis the Menace, but in a good way. I was a regular June Cleaver—America’s mom, but the wife of a celebrity and mother to two kids who were becoming famous in their own right. I wasn’t acting my role. I was really just being myself. I was a fun-loving, unpretentious, easygoing wife. I didn’t have servants around to wait on us. There was no “Don’t touch me I’m in my Chanel suit.” Ultimately, it was my own personality that was coming through. First and foremost, I was Terry’s wife and a mother.
We did
n’t know how the behind the scenes of a reality TV show worked. We thought that reality meant that the production crew would be sleeping in our house with us. I was kind of bracing myself for the worst. Then, we realized that the crew people don’t stay up for twenty-four-hour shifts. They come over to your house and work an eight- to ten-hour day and follow you around doing whatever happens in your life.
It was a huge learning curve to get used to shooting the show. For instance, we spent the majority of our days walking around with mic packs hooked to our hips. Many times in the early days we’d forget that the mics were still on us and go to the bathroom; the crew would hear us peeing.
The whole family didn’t know how the producers were going to put together all of these pieces of footage they were gathering. I really didn’t think they were going to feature me very much at all. I had some small scenes at the beginning. For example, I would pop my head in and say, “Brooke, you have a phone call.” I expected that. I didn’t care. Terry was in it predominately, and then it was Brooke and then Nick and then me. I was fine with that because I was all about Terry and the kids launching and sustaining their careers. I was all about supporting them.
When we saw the first episode edited together with funny music and camera angles, it was just an absolute riot. It was comical to see our family portrayed in a way that made us realize that we were pretty funny! Once we realized how it all worked we wanted to bring more of it! It turned into a very rewarding experience.
