by Linda Hogan
Starting Over
With Christmas over, moving back into the home on Willadel Drive again, getting all of the dogs settled, still missing Foxy, and realizing that my filing for divorce was a definite go-ahead, I had a lot on my mind for the new year ahead. Most people decide on one or two things that they’d like to see changed. I had a whole laundry list! I had stuff I had to do . . . wanted to do! Things to fix, change, replace, people to call—you name it. I had to start my life over.
The new year unfolded with the Monday after the Christmas holiday, which was the first business day between Christmas and New Year’s. I needed to go talk to someone at Morgan Stanley and discuss what was going to happen to our nest egg and how to set myself up financially. I got up early, and went in to meet the new man in charge of the accounts, Travis. As we started talking, he asked me to write down the account numbers so he could quickly research them. We had so many I really had no clue. But we did have an accounting firm that handled everything for the family and our businesses. I had never met Travis before, and I’m sure he had no idea of what was going on between Terry and me, but word of my divorce was broadcast all over the news, from CNN to TMZ. Terry even went on the radio to feign shock over my filing for divorce—of course, he conveniently failed to mention his affairs, deceit, and attempt for me to sign a “midnuptial” he had hidden in documents allegedly drafted to “help” our family.
I think Travis might have been scared, not knowing how to handle my request, but I wanted to see all of the account balances and past deposits because I had the feeling that Terry may not have been depositing recent checks. I didn’t know the fifteen account numbers off the top of my head . . . like who would? So I called our accounting firm, relying on the fact that they had all of them stored in their files. When I asked for the account numbers, they noticeably balked and claimed they were in a filing cabinet in a locked office. Red flag! The representative then asked me if I could call her back in fifteen minutes for the info. Instead, fifteen minutes later Travis walked in the waiting room and told me that he got a call from the accounting firm and they told him that Terry and his “lawyers” had me taken off as cotrustee on all of our accounts, all but the one in my name!
“What?” I said in a shocked voice. I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but I had the feeling that the accounting firm was withholding information that was rightfully mine at the time. We were still married. We were still paying the firm. And they were taking sides with my husband, knocking me out of the loop! Travis explained that the accounting firm had a document that Terry and his “lawyers” prepared back in October. October! I thought. That meant that one whole month before I even filed, he removed me as a cotrustee!
My head swam. I was angry. I’d been duped. He got to the accounts before I did, not only removing me as cotrustee but transferring funds and assets into companies and partnerships that only Terry controlled. I had been taken off as cotrustee, and people whom I knew I didn’t trust now had control of our life savings.
It fucking pissed me off to say the least, and I thought back to the conversation we had at Christmas where he claimed that he needed more time. More like ran out of time! There was no way he could have turned back at that point. He had already drawn his line in the sand. It made me rethink everything he said or did as far back as I could remember. How low would he stoop for the almighty dollar? I realized that if he had signed that document in October, then that’s what he was arranging on the phone in the hallway in the hospital all day. And there I was sitting in the hospital room thinking that we were there as a unified front supporting John and his family. He must have been planning on leaving me before the accident, but now he would have to approach it differently. I started realizing that maybe he wanted to leave me first. He must have already had his next “life” lined up and was ready to make the break. I just made it easy for him . . . and harder for myself. I get it. That’s why I got sent a midnuptial agreement in October—oh my God, my head was reeling. The audacity of him! What about the kids? Did he even think about what they might think of him doing that—transferring millions of dollars into sleazy hands?
I knew then that the new year was going to be hell! If Terry was this calculating . . . well, my thoughts about how he’d treated me in Miami, the midnup, and his keeping the details of the accident from me put me in a ferocious rage like I’ve never been in before! I shook Travis’s hand and told him I’d call him soon. Then I jumped into my Escalade and headed back home, trembling. Once in my car, I called the accounting firm again. Ironically, the representative I had tried to talk to wasn’t available. My heart pounded and my head raced. I felt anger and confusion as I thought about how Terry had premeditated all of this. I pulled in the driveway, and the firm’s representative called back. I told them how obvious it was that they had taken my husband’s side, and I hung up on them. I was the outlaw and Terry was Hulk Hogan, “the icon” on television every week. It was sickening. I called my lawyer, and then I called my mom. I had no idea what to do.
When I got out of the car, sweet Nick was in the garage playing with a remote control toy he got for Christmas. Brooke was already back in Miami preparing for her new show, Brooke Knows Best. My lawyer told me not to freak out and he was on it. He said to just take care of my kids. I felt some relief throwing this in his lap now.
Ultimately, my first priority was Nick and John. Terry’s lawyers were working with Nick concerning his liability with the accident. I wanted to talk about it with Terry so badly. I felt like this was all Terry’s fault, but I couldn’t ask anything.
Poor John. I felt so bad for him and his condition. All we could do was offer moral support to him and his family, going to the hospital every day and praying that he would come out of his coma. It was so scary, and seeing his family go through it was even worse. Our hearts went out to them. We needed a miracle!
Prior to the accident, I knew John well, but not his family. Basically, his mom was homeless, sleeping on a cot at the hospital. I immediately stepped in, and Terry and I leased an apartment for her and her younger son, Michael. I paid a year’s rent in advance, provided furniture, and helped her get her things out of storage. I called all of my friends to help her move in, so she could at least have a place of refuge during all of this turmoil. We took food to the hospital for the family and continued to do anything possible to help. She was ever so grateful and appreciative!
A Not So Secret Admirer
Brooke’s new show was beginning to tape in Miami. She needed me to pop up in the intro to the show as “Mom.” In February 2008, I went down to Miami. I tried my best to keep things positive. I even brought my friend Paige down to Miami from Clearwater to help “set decorate” Brooke’s new condo, something I always did with our show. Even though I wasn’t going to be used on Brooke’s new reality show, I didn’t care. I would do anything to help her!
Paige and I went to Target and Walmart, looking for cute stuff to make the furnished condo that VH1 had leased look a tad bit more girly. We came back with throw pillows, candles, dishes, and rugs—all that fun stuff girls love! As we unpacked the stuff in Brooke’s living room, the music that she recently recorded played on the stereo. Brooke’s longtime friend Ashley, who was her roommate on the show, was there, too.
Brooke’s phone rang and she told us that Christiane was coming over to help. Awesome, I thought. Even though I had had suspicious feelings about Christiane in the past, I’d dispelled them since she and Brooke were such good friends; I thought for sure Brooke would have had a bad vibe too if Terry and Christiane had been involved. Remember, I thought that Terry may have been interested in her, but Brooke put my mind at ease and told me, “No, Christiane’s not that type! She’s fine. Don’t worry, Mom.” We told her to stop and pick up some wine, that we were in decorating mode.
Christiane told Brooke that she didn’t have a date on Valentine’s Day, so she needed to hang out with the girls. I hadn’t even remembered that it was Valentine’s Day, and I d
on’t think Brooke, Ashley, or Paige did, either. When Christiane showed up, she had a single long stem red rose for Brooke and a couple bottles of wine. The music played, the girls laughed, and we decorated. It was a good time.
Christiane hung out, but she hardly spoke to me and wasn’t very friendly. I guess it was foreshadowing for what was to come.
The next day, I packed my things, hugged my Brookie, and wished her all the luck with the new show. She looked and felt beautiful for the first time since all of the traveling on her music tour and moving to Miami. I was so happy to see her glow! For a minute, she said she wished I could stay, but that her father was on his way down to film the first episode and was bringing his new girlfriend. I joked a bit, saying, “Oooh, Dad’s still with the same girl. Could be your stepmom!”
Brooke was nervous telling me, but she wanted to be honest. I had no idea he was dating anyone that seriously yet. I mean, when did he have time for a love life with all of the other stuff going on? It kind of pissed me off that he was shoving his new girlfriend in Brooke’s face so fast, especially right when she was trying to focus on her own show. It’s a lot of pressure. And now this?
Brooke let me know that she didn’t like the snarky comment. I apologized, kissed her good-bye, and wished her good luck. Her dad and the new girlfriend showed up later that day after Paige and I drove home to Clearwater. I guess they had dinner that night and were all preparing to film the first episode the next morning.
Well, as Brooke explained it to me, after dinner Terry and Jennifer went to their hotel and Brooke met up with her on-again, off-again boyfriend Stack$ (the music label’s owner’s son). He mentioned to Brooke how strange it was to see her dad with a different woman other than her mom and joked about how he was used to seeing Christiane on his arm. Brooke demanded an explanation from him. He told her that he thought she knew because everybody from the record label knew about Terry and Christiane being together the whole last year that we had all lived in Miami.
At four thirty in the morning Brooke called me, hysterically crying. “Mom, you’re not going to believe this! Are you sitting down?”
“What’s the matter, Brooke?” I asked, worried.
“Dad had been sleeping with Christiane the entire time our family was in Miami.”
“What? How do you know?”
Brooke told me what her friend told her and how Terry broke up with Christiane before he started dating his new girlfriend.
“They broke up? How were they even dating?” I asked. “He’s married! To me!”
That night, Brooke insisted that Christiane meet with her at a friend’s house to discuss this affair. Christiane drove over in the middle of the night and handed Brooke a letter. It explained how she had deep feelings for Terry, how this love affair couldn’t die, how she never wanted to hurt us, and so on. Brooke was devastated that her good friend could not only hurt and betray her but do the same to her family as well.
Looking back, I guess that’s why Christiane didn’t have a date on Valentine’s Day. Come to think of it, that’s probably why she didn’t have a date when we all went to the Forge on New Year’s Eve. I guess the suspicions I had were dead-on!
I HAD ALWAYS SENSED THAT THERE WAS AN AFFAIR GOING ON IN Miami, but I had no proof. I made my decision to divorce Terry based on the type of person he had become and how he was treating the kids and me. Finding out about Christiane was the cherry on top of the sundae. I believe if I hadn’t summoned the courage to divorce Terry, and if I stayed with him, history would have repeated itself again and he would have continued to cheat. When Brooke told me about Terry’s affair with Christiane, it felt good to hear Brooke say that my suspicions were right all along. She told me that she felt bad for me. Having Brooke understand my position gave me extra confirmation that I had made the right decision.
Chapter Twelve
Cougar Unleashed
THE TABLOIDS WERE RUNNING WILD WITH THE Hogan divorce. It made headlines. I was really upset about how they spun the story because it wasn’t how it went down. But there was no way to change it. The kids were actually happy we were getting a divorce. They knew how miserable Terry and I both were on a daily basis.
In the months that followed after Valentine’s Day, I was back in Clearwater with Nick, meeting with lawyers and discussing how we were going to move forward with the divorce. There was a lot to deal with emotionally: finding out about Terry’s escapades with Christiane, knowing about Jennifer, still dealing with the accident and all the lawyers Terry had for that, and worrying about John. However, my main focus was Nick. I wanted to give him the quality of life I’d always given him, continuing to be a parent who actually watched over him. Nicky was so scared, sad, and insecure about his and John’s fate.
I still had to deal with phone calls from Terry that were somewhat civil at best, with us mainly talking about the lawyers and Nick’s future. Terry was careful to keep the calls short, not leaving any room for small talk about our personal lives or his past or me questioning him in any way. He seemed so matter-of-fact whenever we spoke. I never heard any emotion in his voice. He never apologized for the accident or for our twenty-three-year marriage crumbling. I guess I expected to hear a bit of remorse somewhere. Narcissist!
I began speaking up and telling Terry exactly what was on my mind on the phone and over e-mail. At this point, what did I have to lose? He was on the hook for the accident. He was guilty in the divorce for cheating. I wasn’t afraid anymore, so I said how I felt. And it made me feel great. During our marriage, I was afraid of saying what was on my mind because I didn’t want to have a fight. It was easier to sweep it under the rug. Now, he deserved a boatload of my opinion. I was ready to dish, but the lawyers eventually stopped me from doing that.
I was informed that Terry would only speak to me through our lawyers. Wow, what a coward, I thought. He didn’t just wear yellow . . . he is yellow. I hated him for ruining our lives. He was like a hurricane that blows through leaving a path of destruction and never once looking back! As much as I wanted and tried to keep up a game face for Nick, I eventually crumbled. I think at that point I threw in the towel. I needed to take a sleeping pill and sleep! I let the animals be cared for by Jorge (one of the faithful helpers I had); I didn’t fix my hair or color it; I didn’t eat much. I cried a lot. Sometimes so much that I couldn’t even fake going out without sunglasses on—my lips and cheeks were so swollen. I didn’t set foot in the gym. In fact, I hated the gym, because it was full of Terry’s gym equipment.
One day to try and help get myself out of the horrible depression/anger phase I was in, I decided to clear his shit out of the Willadel house and put it in the garage. Terry had taken most of his important belongings to the beach house where he was staying. If he didn’t want to live at Willadel, fine. I went downstairs and proceeded to open every cabinet, ripping his crap from them. Brooke came in and caught me in the rage! How do I explain this to Brooke? Clearing the stuff out of the house, and my life, was cleansing. His clothes were out! I called for my housekeeper to bring me black Hefty bags, and I told her to start shoving his crap into them. I also found some of his personal things that he wouldn’t be too proud of.
After I purged his closet and the house, I felt much better. One of the healing processes was to make a list of how I was feeling in my “old life” and what I wanted my “new life” to be, the life I had wanted for such a long time. How could I achieve this? I wondered. The first step was to write it down and visualize it. So that’s exactly what I did.
