*****
It took me two days before I could leave my room without bursting into tears. When I finally found my way back to the cafeteria for breakfast, the look of relief on Tanya’s face made me feel horrible for how I’d treated her. When she pulled out the chair closest to her, I sat down beside her and she pushed a tray of food at me. “I hoped you’d be joining us today. How are you feeling?”
“Like crap,” I said quietly. “I don’t think I’ve done anything but cry since Finn said what he did.” I looked at her and sighed. “I’m sorry for yelling at you the way I did. I was upset.”
She nodded. “I understand. But listen, Finn was right about one thing,” she said firmly. You aren’t his type. His usual type is any whore that’ll spread her legs for him. He’s not usually picky. As long as she says yes to his advances, she’s his type. Being Finn’s type is not something to be proud of; you should be happy that you’re too different to get his attention. That means you’re intelligent, and nice, with a great sense of modesty and self-respect.”
I looked at her. “You think so?”
She nodded again. “I know so. You’re too good for him. There are dozens of other women here that fit his type and they’ll all sleep with him gladly, even knowing that all of their friends have been with him too. And they’ll do it because they don’t respect themselves. That’s why his type sleeps around.”
So you think every girl that sleeps with him is the exact same?”
“I know they are. I’ve met most of them. They’re nymphs, mostly, or stupid fairies. He likes them beautiful, big-breasted, and as stupid as possible. Don’t for one second wish to be like them. You’re better than that, and Finn knows it.”
I smiled gratefully at her. “Thanks, Tanya.”
“Now that you’re done consoling her, can we please get back to breakfast,” Holly said blandly. She sounded so bored with everything, even life, that I almost felt sorry for her. “My blood is getting cold.” She lifted her water bottle to her lips and sucked down a large gulp of the red liquid, and I closed my eyes and shivered, but it didn’t bother me as much as it had the first time.
I hadn’t eaten in a while, and I fell on the food like a ravenous animal, devouring it all. Tanya watched me with a smile on her open, caring face. “Feeling better?”
I nodded and swallowed a bite of vegetable beef soup. “Yeah, this food was just what I needed. Plus, a little pep talk never hurts. Listen, I really am sorry for snapping at you before. That’s not usually who I am.”
Tanya shrugged, and her beautiful, shimmering wings fluttered behind her. “It’s alright. I’ve been hurt like that before, trust me. I know how it feels to be put down and to feel like shit about myself. It’s not fun.”
Someone cleared their throat, and I looked p to see an ashamed looking Finn. Tanya narrowed her eyes at him and he began to fidget nervously. “Can I talk to you? In private?” Finn asked, looking at me. “It’ll just take a moment. Please?” he asked when I didn’t move.
I looked to Tanya for advice, and she shrugged. “You might as well.” She looked at Finn and her eyes narrowed again. “If you upset her like you did the other day, I’ll hex you all the way to next week. Don’t doubt that for a second,” she threatened.
He put his hands up, but I thought I saw the hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. “I’ll behave, I promise.”
“Good,” she said. “I like Ronnie, and she deserves better than t feel like shit about herself just because you’re uncomfortable with the idea that someone somewhere might actually like you for something other than what’s in your pants.”
Ezra snorted while eating and choked on his food in the process. Holly raised her bottle of blood and cheered, and I ducked my head to hide a smile. Now that I’d seen Finn and how uncomfortable he looked, I felt embarrassed for reacting the way I did. Yes, what he said was hurtful, but my reaction what he said was over the top and overly dramatic. I wasn’t that kind of person and I didn’t want everyone think I was.
I got up from the table and followed Finn to the far side of the cafeteria, where nobody would be able to hear our conversation. For a minute, the two of us just stood there, neither of us talking. He shifted nervously from foot to foot, and I thought he was planning his speech in his mind before he started.
Finally, he took a deep breath and began. “Ronnie, I’m sorry for what I said to you on the balcony. It was nasty and hurtful, and I didn’t really mean it.” He sighed, and I could tell that this pained him to admit. “Tanya was right. I do have a type. And she was even more right about them being as stupid as possible. When I heard her say that, I realized something. I don’t like stupid girls. They’re annoying. Really, really annoying.”
“Then why do you sleep with them?”
“You can’t understand, because you’re not a guy, and you’re not a werewolf. Ronnie, sometime in the near future, I’m going to have a mate. One mate. For the rest of my life. After I find that one girl, I won’t be with anyone else ever again.”
“I thought a werewolf’s mate was all about choice,” I said quietly. “Tanya said that they decide who their mates are.”
“I know, but I’m not ready to find my mate. I don’t wanna be tied down at nineteen, and the best way to do that is to make sure I have nothing in common with the girls I sleep with. They’re stupid, shallow, and mean to each other. I don’t want to settle down yet, so I pick girls that I have absolutely no chance of falling in love with. It makes it easier to stay single.”
“I’m not in love with you, Finn!” I snapped, angry that this was the reason he said such hurtful, cruel things to me the other day. “I think you’re brave, loyal, and attractive, and I thought that maybe there could have been something between us a long way down the road from now. I wasn’t thinking about marrying you or asking to be your mate you ass!”
He flinched and ran a hand nervously through his long dark hair. “I’m sorry. I overreacted. I just heard the two of you talking, and I was worried that you were some crazy obsessed chick. I didn’t stop to think; I just wanted you as far away from me as possible. I’m sorry, Ronnie.”
He looked sincere, and now that I’d thought about it, I felt really bad for overreacting. And now that I knew he felt just as bad, I felt like I could forgive him for what he’d said. So I took a deep breath. “It’s alright, Finn. I forgive you. Just don’t ever say anything that horrible to me, or to any other girl, ever again. Got it?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Alright, now I’m going back to that table, and I’m gonna finish my lunch. Would you care to join us?”
He nodded again. “Sure.”
Dark Secrets (Dark Heritage #1) Page 24
