Dark Secrets (Dark Heritage #1)

by Samantha Hoffman

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  A hand tapped my shoulder, and I looked back and up into Finn’s pale blue eyes that seemed to glow as bright as the floating glass orbs around us. He stood rigidly with one arm straight at his side and the other held out to me. It looked calm and steady, much calmer than I felt. “Do you wanna dance?”

  I wanted to tell him no, but one look at his cautious eyes and one whiff of his woodsy scent and I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn him down, even though I hated finding out that he was just with someone recently. I couldn’t turn him down, even though I knew he would most likely hurt me if given the chance. Deep down inside, I had the feeling that Finn was a good person.

  It was just buried so far down that you might not see it even if you were his closest friend. I thought instantly of the way he didn’t push me away after rescuing me. Even though he was wounded and in pain, he held me close and let me sleep beside him. Would someone who didn’t care about you have done that? He’s guilty of questionable partners, not of being uncaring toward you…

  My hand rested against Finn’s, and he led me away from the table of open gifts and what was left of the cake. He stopped us in a more secluded corner of the room, and his hand drifted to my lower back. Even though he wasn’t touching my back, I could still feel the warmth of his hand, and it started a low ache in the pit of my stomach, making me lean forward, toward him and his warm touch.

  His hand pressed against my back, and heat flooded through me, sending shivers of pleasure over my entire body. My hands draped over his wide shoulders and my fingers twined together behind his neck. His long hair brushed softly over my hands, and I played with it, curling the dark strands between my fingers. He sighed softly, and his eyes met mine, searching them for something.

  I held his gaze for as long as I could. While our eyes were connected, I felt my face get red, and I could only imagine how bad I was blushing. When Finn smiled slow and sexy, my stomach twisted painfully, and I looked away from his knowing gaze. I was mostly new to the whole feelings and dating thing, but clearly he wasn’t. I’d seen him with several girls since arriving here, and that kind of accomplishment didn’t happen without knowing what you were doing.

  Finn knew exactly how to smile in order to get a girl’s attention. He knew exactly how, where, and when to touch someone to make sparks fly. He knew exactly how to make a girl fall head over heels in love with him, and right now, he was doing those things to me. He was making me fall for him, and he most likely had no intention of catching me when he got what he wanted.

  I’d be left alone to pick up the pieces.

  I shoved myself away from him, and a look of surprise crossed his handsome features. “Ronnie, what–”

  “I won’t be another of your one night stands.” I wasn’t sure of how I felt until I said it. But now that I’d said the words, I already doubted them. Was that really all that he wanted from me? The thought of our escape invaded my mind, and I was forced to think about how he and I had cared for each other, how Finn had come for me when nobody else had, and how we alone knew what Andrew was really capable of because we alone had seen it firsthand.

  He frowned, and his eyes got a sad look to them. “Ronnie, I’m not trying to play you like a fool. I thought you knew that.” He grabbed my hand again and began tracing slow, distracting circles over it with his thumb. His eyes never left mine. “I like you. And I thought you liked me, too.”

  I yanked my hand away from him a second time. “Brittney told me about the hour long workout the two of you had today.” He flinched. “How could you do that, Finn? You kissed me when I woke up, and then just a couple of days later you’re having sex with her like it was nothing! How can you do that? It’s…disgusting!”

  “Look, Ronnie, I’m sorry.” He sighed and ran a trembling hand through his long dark hair, and I got the impression that he was trying to keep a grip on his temper. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be a werewolf. You can’t, because you’re not an animal, and you’ve only been a part of our community for a short time.”

  “What does that have to do with this? Finn, you kissed me. I started to think that you might actually have feelings for me. Real, tangible feelings, like the ones I have for you.” My voice broke, and I looked away so Finn wouldn’t see how upset this conversation was making me. Already I could feel the burn of unshed tears, and I bit my lip to keep from crying. “I thought you cared about me, or were at least starting to.”

  “I do care about you,” he said in a strangled voice. Apparently emotions other than anger weren’t something he showed lightly. “Ronnie, you have to understand. This isn’t just something I do. All werewolves are like this. You’re asking me to change who I am.”

  “I don’t remember asking you to do anything,” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him. “And I don’t care what every other werewolf does. I’m not interested in them, Finn. I mean, would it really be so terrible to just be with a girl for more than one night? It wouldn’t exactly be torture to be with the same person over and over again.”

  He sighed and ran his hands over his temples, like he was fighting a migraine. “Look, that’s just not how it works! You can’t understand,” he said, eyes pleading with me to believe him. “I can’t help it. We’re made this way. We have meaningless encounters and then we settle down with the one. I’m not ready for that yet. I’ll have a very, very long time to be with just one person. For now, I’ll settle for girls like Brittney. But when I do choose that one girl, it won’t be someone like her. It’ll be someone like you. You’re that forever kind of girl, Ronnie.”

  I sighed, and took a step away from him. “I’m sorry, Finn. I’m not going to sit around and watch you sleep with every available girl in this place, just waiting for you to grow up and mature a little. I can’t do it. I think it would break my heart, and I’ve already had so much pain and suffering in my life. I’m sorry.”

  I looked up at him, hoping that he would do or say something to make me feel better. Instead, he gripped my arms so tightly it almost hurt, and his head swooped down to mine. Automatically my hand lashed out, and I slapped him across the face before his lips could touch mine. For a second, the two of us just stared at each other; my face confused, and his shocked and a little hurt.

  He was a werewolf and probably hadn’t really felt it, but I’d still slapped him. Right across the face, just for trying to kiss me. Didn’t I want him to kiss me? Didn’t I want to know that Finn felt the same way about me as I did about him? Why were my emotions so mixed up and confused?

  Someone cleared their throat, and I finally realized that we were alone in the room except for Holly, who was glaring at Finn with a hostile expression on her face. I left a stunned Finn standing alone in the middle of the room, and made my way to where Holly was leaning against the far wall with my gifts in her hands.

  “Where’s Tanya?” I asked hollowly, hating the weakness in my voice.

  Holly frowned. “She and Ezra snuck off to the woods for some…alone time. Why? Do you want me to go and get her? Did Finn say something stupid to upset you?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I said, looking away so she wouldn’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks. “Couldn’t you hear the argument we just had?”

  She made a noise in the back of her throat that almost sounded like a wild animal, and her eyes hardened instantly. “I warned him not to do anything stupid.” She handed me my gifts and folded her arms dangerously across her chest. “Do I need to talk to him for you?”

  “No!” I said hurriedly, worried that she would do something more than talking. I wasn’t sure if a vampire was stronger or faster than a werewolf, but I didn’t want either of them to get hurt just because I couldn’t keep in control of my own feelings. “I’m just gonna go lie down for now.” My voice cracked again, and I turned and fled the cafeteria before she could do something totally out of her character, like try and console me.

  I walked numbly through the halls of the compound, and pe
ople gave me uncertain glances and a wide berth. The confusion and distrust that was evident on all of their faces made me feel even more alone than I already did. For the first time since arriving here in the dead of night more than a month ago, I missed my home life with Alan, Jessica, and even Susan.

  When I finally reached my room after enduring countless sneers, I set my gifts down on the dresser in my room, and collapsed on the bed and began to cry myself to sleep, not for the first time since arriving at this god awful place. Sometime later, before I fell asleep, I heard a knock on the door, and Finn’s worried voice, begging me to open the door, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up and answer it. I was too afraid that one look at him would make the tears come harder and faster, and I didn’t want to risk it at the moment.